Author's Note: Finally chapter 6! Sorry for the long wait, but I've been pretty preoccupied, and if you find that you think I'm forgetting about it, just review or PM me to tell me to write it and I will. Also, since the story has been a bit slower lately, and they're just randomly walking around in the woods, I decided to make this chapter a songfic chapter. Now, if you hate songfics, but are following the story, I suggest that you still read it because there are some important events that have to do with the plot (believe it or not, there is actually somewhat a plot here). Anyways, enjoy!
Claimer: I own PJO and HP.
They all stopped in their tracks as they stared at both Clarisse and Draco. They had all realized the truth: Clarisse was pregnant with Draco's child. "Inconceivable!" Hermione muttered to herself.
"Actually, it is very conceivable considering that they have conceived a child," Grover answered, being a smart-aleck while everyone groaned at just how bad his jokes were.
"Ahhh, I remember the time that Bella became pregnant with my child. Don't you remember it, love?" Percy turned towards Snape and batted his eyelashes.
"Oh for crying out loud!" Nico yelled, kicking Percy in the head, "Cut it with all of this 'Edward Cullen' crap!"
Percy's body lay limply on the forest floor, and when he rose, he rubbed his head and mumbled, "Where the Hades am I?"
"Percy...?" Annabeth asked hesitantly, crouching down to his eyelevel.
"Hey, Annabeth. Man, what am I doing in the woods?" Percy grumbled rubbing the shoeprint from where Nico's boot had collided with his head.
"Thank the gods he has his memory back," Luke sighed. "I was really getting annoyed with that whole 'Edward' character,"
"Uhhhhh, guys," Ron interrupted, "sorry to distract you from Percy, but I think there was a more important thing going on,"
They then looked back at Clarisse who was glaring at Draco, who was simply leaning on a tree with his eyebrows raised, "What? What do you want me to do,"
"It's more of a matter of what we don't want you to do," Hermione corrected.
Draco rolled his eyes while Hermione gently walked over to Clarisse, "How do you feel?" she asked tentatively.
"Kind of like I always do, you know, mad at everyone (especially Draco) and I have the need to blow up everything,"
"Do you crave anything?"
"Yeah, I crave chucking nukes at Draco's head,"
Hermione rolled her eyes; she didn't realize quite how hard it was to talk to a child of Ares. "Well, do you want the kid out of you, or do you want to go forth with the pregnancy?"
Clarisse tilted her head to the side, "Ummmm, yeah, I think I'll have the kid,"
"Do you think you'll be able to handle it?" Grover asked, "Because childbirth is really difficult and it hurts a ton... or so I've heard,"
"Yeah, whatever, I mean, I've seen Juno, so I think I'll do fine,"
Draco, who had been quite until now, quit leaning against a tree and asked, "Well, can I at least find out the sex of my kid? That's all I care about,"
"Well, she's not pregnant enough to be able to determine that yet, but I know a spell that can speed up the pregnancy," Harry offered.
"Bloody hell, Harry! How the hell do you know how to do that?" Ron asked.
"Experience," Percy smiled. And then, without even asking Clarisse, he raised his wand and pointed it directly at Clarisse's lower abdomen and yelled, "PreggoIncreaso!"
There was a huge puff of green smoke and a yelp of pain from Clarisse. "Look," Zorra murmured, pointing off into the distance. Just a few feet off, in a cluster of trees, there was a large puff of pink smoke rising into the air.
Suddenly, a delicate pair of footsteps was heard from farther off in the woods. Everyone froze in fear, "It's Clifford!" Percy whispered, while the soft footsteps continue to approach them.
"Don't worry guys, I'll defend us!" Grover proclaimed, holding a tin can high above his head.
"Holy -----!" Luke yelled, once the person entered the small clearing. Percy rolled his eyes, low and behold, it was Aphrodite. Percy glanced over at their wizarding accomplices, for they had never seen the goddess of love before. Each had their mouth hanging so open that it appeared that their chins would touch the ground.
"Hello demigods and wizards," tinkled Aphrodite's perfect voice, "I see that while you were on the mission, you have developed some relationships; but don't be afraid, this is very normal for hormonal teenagers. Clearly, though, some of you have gone a bit extreme with your relationships," she nodded towards Clarisse's now slightly round belly. "Thankfully, I have come to help!" She waved her hands above her head, causing another bout of pink smoke to rise up, emitting a horrific amount of sparkle confetti.
"Well, I'm sorry Aphrodite," Luke mumbled to her, picking a handful of sparkly confetti out of his blond hair with disgust, "but I think that we can handle our relationships just fine on our own,"
She huffed, whipping her flowing white dress around as she stomped back off into the woods.
"Great," Snape muttered, "another angsty person to deal with..."
Harry and Percy both whipped around to face Snape, "WHAT???" they yelled together, "The title of most angsty person cannot and will not be taken away from us!"
They both ran into the woods after Aphrodite, to find her perched on a stone and whipping imaginary tears from her cheeks.
"Listen here, Aphro... whatever your name is," Harry yelled, pointing his wand at her neck, "you better get a grip because the title of most angsty people has already been given away to Percy and me!"
"Yeah, and we don't like it when anyone challenges us!" Percy added. "So get your lovey little tush over there and help us with our relationship problems!"
Aphrodite thought this over. Sure, she should probably blow the two of them to pieces for insulting her, but she rarely had demigods coming to her asking for relationship advice because she tended to annoy people so much that they couldn't stand to even listen to her. Slowly, Aphrodite turned to face Harry and Percy.
With another sniff, she grumbled, "Oh, all right, but just because you are all in such a desperate need of counseling," and with that she leapt from her seat and glided over to where the others stood.
Percy and Harry approached them, looking smug, only to have Annabeth smack the smirks off of both of their faces, "What in the name of Chiron were you thinking? Challenging a goddess like that? Idiots!"
Aphrodite flashed Annabeth a brilliant smile, "Yes darling, you are exactly right. Those boys were completely out of line, and for that, you will all pay!"
Grover gulped in one of those very over exaggerated ways that people do in movies.
"Are you going to kill us?" Nico asked with a bit too much enthusiasm.
"No,"
"Please?"
"No," Aphrodite looked the small emo boy up and down, while Nico set a pout upon his face. "Anyways, since I am goddessly, I deserve respect, which you clearly lack. As your punishment, you need to give me a proper welcoming,"
"Like what, greeting you or something?" Luke asked.
"No," she replied with a forced smile, rumpling Luke's hair, causing him to grit his teeth, "You each will sing for me, either in a duet or single in order to give me the proper welcoming,"
Everyone stared in hatred at the goddess of love, except for Ron who did a retarded attempt at a victory dance, "Yes! I always knew that all those hours of practicing Hannah Montana's Best of Both Worlds in the shower would pay off!"
"Oh, so that's what all that noise that sounded like a dying animal in the Gryffindor boys dormitory was," Harry grumbled while Ron slapped the back of his head.
Aphrodite stared in disgust at Ron, but then gained composure of her face, fixing it back into the fake Botox-like smile, "No, dear, you'll be singing assigned songs; assigned by me," She then waved her hand in the air, causing small pink slips of paper with loopy cursive writing on them to appear in all of their hands.
"Excuse me, but why did I get a song?" Snape asked in his drawling (but oh-so-sexy) voice. "I thought that this was about the adolescents; do you really mean to say that I am to sing to you?" his lip curled up in disgust at the thought.
Aphrodite pursed her lips tightly to maintain control of her face and nodded; her loose black curls bouncing up and down. Snape rolled his eyes and muttered something unintelligible which caused Hermione to clap her hands over Nico's ears, and for Zorra to giggle.
"Oh, I like my song!" Draco grinned at his pink slip of paper. "Why does it have a number 1 on it though?"
"It signifies, darling," Aphrodite replied with that same false smile plastered on her face, "that you will be performing first,"
"What if we don't want to perform though?" Ron asked, cocking one orange eyebrow.
Aphrodite gave them all that terrifying fake smile which only meant that more horrors lay ahead. From a pocket in her dress, she withdrew a small dog.
"PUPPY!!!!!" Grover exclaimed.
"Good job Grover, I'm so glad that you know your animals," Percy groaned sarcastically.
"Yes," Aphrodite agreed, her smile wavering slightly, "my husband," she cringed at the word, "made this for me as a gift," Aprhodite turned the small dog's left ear and it began to tick menacingly.
"Ticking Timebombs, what's that?" Harry cried in surprise.
"It's a ticking time bomb, genius," Hermione replied, rolling her eyes. "Really Harry, try to think about your words of surprise before you say them,"
"Wait, so you're going to blow us all up?" Clarisse asked, running her hand across her sword hilt incase there was need of a battle.
Aphrodite's fake smile widened, "Only if you don't cooperate and give me a wonderful performance,"
"What do you mean by 'wonderful'?" Annabeth asked, desperately searching for a loophole to squeeze Percy through, because she knew how terrible a singer he was.
"Well, the singing has to not kill my godly ears, and there has to be dancing that is relative to the song," she winked at Snape and Luke who both gulped. "Now, enough talk, shall we proceed with the performance?" Without waiting for a reply she turned her eyes onto Draco, "Draco, dear, why don't you step out in the center of all of us and tell us what song you're singing before we start the music,"
Draco let a tremble run through his pale figure before stepping into the large middle of their circle. "Bringing Sexy Back,"
"We know that you're bringing sexy back, Baby-Dracerdoodles," Zorra said, using the horrible nickname that Draco had hoped had died in Chapter 2.
"No, daughter, he's singing the song, Bringing Sexy Back by Justin Timberlake," Aphrodite explained to Zorra.
Aphrodite pulled a bright pink boom box that was Bedazzled (brings back memories, huh?) and placed it on the ground in front of her. With one hand she pressed the Play button, while the other stroked the dog/time bomb menacingly.
The music started playing (it was a wordless recording) and Draco started singing:
I'm bringing sexy back! (as he sang he unbuttoned his shirt)
I'm bringing sexy back! (he started break dancing just for the hell of it)
I'm bring ing sexy back! (as he continued the song he took off more of his clothes and started doing hip thrusts, which at that point Hermione had Nico's eyes covered)
When the song was over everyone was frozen stiff. The silence was broken by Zorra who leapt onto the nearly naked Draco, squealing, "OOOOOOH, YOU ARE SOOOOOOOOOO BRINGING SEXY BACK!!!!!!!!"
Everyone averted their eyes while some good old fashion PDA took place. Grover cleared his throat awkwardly, and Zorra reluctantly pulled away from Draco.
"I have to admit," Aphrodite stated, "that you did very well, dear. I must say though, that my favorite part was the dancing,"
"OOOOOOOOOH, MINE TOOOOOOOO!!!!" Zorra squealed, causing everyone to yell:
"Just shut up!"
Then there was an awkward silence that followed, which is often the case when you tell people to shut up.
"Uhhhh, my paper says number 2 on it, does that mean that I go next?" Ron asked. Aphrodite nodded with her fake smile back in place. Ron stumbled into the center of the circle and cleared his throat awkwardly.
"Uhhhh, my song is--"
"Honey, stop starting your sentences with 'uhhhh'; it really gets on my nerves,"
"Uhhh, okay; I mean okay," Ron mumbled, unable to put words together with the beautiful goddess infront of him.
"My, uhhh, song is, uhhhh, Complicated,"
"Ha! You sound like you're talking about a relationship, Ron," Percy laughed. "We don't care if your song is complicated, just give us the title,"
"My song is titled Complicated! You know, the song, Complicated,"
"Wow, Aphrodite, you have got to get better song titles; that's the second one with confusion," Luke muttered, causing Aphrodite's fake smile to quiver.
"Uhhh, Aphrodite, do I have to sing my song?" Ron asked.
"Of course, I chose it especially for you, dear," Aphrodite replied, a fire beginning behind her eyes.
"Uhhhh, it's just that... can I make my own version of it?"
"As long as you're singing and dancing at it's to the tune and the same general lyrics, then it's fine,"
"Uhhh, thanks," Ron mumbled to her; he was always awkward around girls, but the goddess of love and beauty just kind of shut down his brain. Ron nodded to Aphrodite who pressed the Play button on the pink boom box. What happened shocked everyone. Ron turned his back on Aphrodite, waited for the chorus part, and then began to sing to Hermione:
Why'd you have to go and make me so frustrated?
(Ron put his hands pleadingly towards Hermione as he had seen boy bands do, in hopes that that was acceptable as dancing)
You went to the Yule Ball with that bum Victor Krum,
And I got really jealous.
'Cause you danced, and you laughed, and you talked, and you ate,
And I couldn't stand it at all.
Ron awkwardly put his hands back against his sides and turned shyly back to face Aphrodite. The goddess of love was crying, "Oh my gods, that was so cute! I don't care that you only sang the chorus, and that your dancing sucked, it was still so romantic!"
"Wow, Hermione," Zorra whispered. "Looks like Ron likes you,"
"Yeah, I guess so," she replied, blushing.
"Well, I think he was just sucking up to Aphrodite. I bet he doesn't care at all," Annabeth put in stubbornly.
"Ooooooh, does someone like Ronny-Wonny?" Zorra asked, her eyes lit up.
"No, it's just that, well..."
"Girl, as a daughter of Aphrodite, I can tell you that my love sensors do not lie!" Zorra giggled.
While Annabeth blushed, Hermione turned to her, "Annabeth, it's on,"
Annabeth stared at her new competitor, "Oh, it's on Hermione,"
Hermione raised her wand as though to attack right then, but Annabeth mumbled, "Oh, sorry Hermione, but it can't 'be on' right now because I'm going next,"
Hermione lowered her wand, "Ok, I'll wait,"
Meanwhile, Ron resumed his seat next to Grover who muttered, "Man, that was so gooey,"
"Nah, I was just faking it, you know, just to suck up to Aphrodite. She is so hot..."
"Oh, I read you. Dude, I totally agree..." And Grover was about to escape into the world of staring at Aphrodite when Annabeth tapped him on the shoulder,
"Hey, Grover, we're dueting next,"
"Oh, ok. Wish me luck, Ron,"
Ron smiled at his best friend Grover, "See ya later, satyr!" which caused Grover to collapse into braying laughs at Ron's lame rhyme.
Annabeth and Grover announced that they would be performing Barbie Girl by Aqua. The only catch was that Aphrodite had assigned roles:
Annabeth: Hiya, Grover!
Grover: Hi Annabeth!
Annabeth: Do you want to go for a ride?
Grover: Sure Annabeth!
Annabeth: Jump in...
(Grover knew he needed to dance, so he awkwardly did hip bounces with his hands on his hips)
Grover: I'm a barbie girl,
In a barbie world.
Life is plastic,
It's fantastic!
You can brush my hair,
Undress me everywhere.
Imagination, that is your creation!
Annabeth: Come on Grover, let's go party!
Grover: I'm a barbie girl,
In a barbie world.
Life is plastic,
It's fantastic!
You can brush my hair,
Undress me everywhere.
Imagination, that is your creation!
I'm a blond bimbo girl,
In a fantasy world!
Dress me up, make it tight,
I'm your darling!
(Annabeth didn't know how guys danced, so she decided to start slowly taking off Grover's clothes. With each line she sang she unbuttoned another of his shirt buttons)
Annabeth: You're my doll, rock n' roll,
Feel the glamorous thing!
Kiss me here, touch me there,
Hanky panky!
Grover: You can touch!
You can play!
You can say, "I'm always yours"!
Uh-wohh-ohh!
I'm a barbie girl,
In a barbie world.
Life is plastic,
It's fantastic!
You can brush my hair,
Undress me everywhere.
Imagination, that is your creation!
They ended the dance by embracing tightly, and when they heard the click of Aphrodite turning off the background music, they immediately pulled away. Percy was laughing so hard that his face was so red that it seemed about to explode. Annabeth blushed deeply and murmured to Grover who was blushing even more, "We're going to forget this and never talk about it again,"
"Sure thing, it's just that I don't think that Percy will let us live this down,"
Nico went next, singing Pain by Three Days Grace. He sang it with more passion and emotion than seemed possible from anyone. By the end of the song, everyone was completely terrified by Nico, especially because during certain lines of the song he would point to certain people in the circle.
Aphrodite, who completely hated Nico's song but had chosen it for him because she really couldn't see him crooning some boy-band tune, was happy to move onto the next performers. "Next are Clarisse and Zorra!"
Clarisse glared at Zorra, and Zorra glared back as they both made their way to the middle of the circle.
Aphrodite smiled evilly, "And the song that you will be performing, ladies?"
"The Barney Song," Clarisse grumbled, causing many of the demigods to bust out laughing, and all of the wizards to frown in confusion, but no one felt like clueing them in on the songs of muggle children.
The music started and Zorra and Clarisse put fake smiles on their faces and began to sing:
Zorra: I love you! (although her body was facing Clarisse, her eyes were going straight towards Draco)
Clarisse: You hate me! (Clarisse said to Zorra, for they were bitter rivals over Draco)
Zorra: Draco is mine 'cause he's sexy!
Clarisse: With a punch, (Clarisse raised her fist to Zorra)
Zorra: And a bomb! (the two were right on the brink of a cat-fight)
Clarisse: And a kid for me and you! (Clarisse motioned towards Draco, rubbing it more in Zorra's face)
Zorra: I hate you Clarisse and want to kill you too!
By the end the two girls were throwing punches and slaps and foul language while Draco sat on the sidelines smirking. As much as Aphrodite loved vicious battles for love, she decided to break it up with a flick of her hand and a bunch of unnecessary pink smoke.
"I do like the creativity of the lyrics..." Aphrodite pondered tapping her lip, "but I have to say that it was a rather short song. Harry, you're next, and I want this to be a song from the heart!"
Harry rolled his eyes so that Aphrodite couldn't see, and trudged into the middle of the circle, "I'm singing my rendition of I Will Survive" he grumbled in his angsty teenage voice. When the music started, Harry sang,
Harry: At first I was afraid,
I was terrified!
Uncle Vernon was so mad that I could have died,
And when I got my letter to go to Hogwarts school,
I knew I'd be away from the Dursleys and, man, that's really cool!
So I'll go on and go,
Walk out the door!
Ride on the train, and be with the Dursleys no more!
At Hogwarts I'll meet the Weasleys and Hermione Granger too,
And not have Dudley treating me like poo!
So let's all go, learn magic tricks!
And defeat Lord Voldemort with little wooden sticks!
We'll all go and fight and although some of us may die,
We will all do our best, and we will all try!
To Hogwarts! To Hogwarts! Hay, hay!
By the end of it Harry was panting; he looked expectantly up at Aphrodite. "You made up all those lyrics on your own?" she asked.
"Yes, of course I did," Harry answered.
"Well, in that case, very good job. Although there was no dancing, the lyrics and your singing voice made up for it,"
Harry wiped sweat off of his forehead, happy that the had met satisfactory. Harry plopped down on the hot grass and turned to Percy. Before Percy could give Harry words of support or sarcasm (the latter probably more likely), Percy glanced at his card, "Oh fish, I'm next!"
Once Percy was positioned in the middle of the circle, Aphrodite asked, with a hint of a smile playing around her lips, "Now, son of Poseidon, what song will you be singing for us?"
"I'm singing... Uh, I think this is in a different language,"
"Yes, it's Spanish,"
"Sorry Aphrodite, but, um, I like don't speak Spanish,"
"Just try your best," Aphrodite smiled, displaying her sparkling white teeth which caused Percy to feel even more nervous.
"Uhhh, I'll be singing Vamos a la Playa" Percy stumbled through the title with a very fake and confused accent that sounded more like Norwegian than Spanish. Then Percy began to sing, still using the horrible accent:
!Vamos a la playa! (he had no idea how to dance in a Spanish style, so he just did the Macarena while he sang)
¡A mi me gusta baila!
¡A la fiesta!
¡Mi, mi calor!
At the end, no one clapped and not a sound was issued, except from Ron who grumbled, "What the bloody hell did all that mean?"
Since Aphrodite had no idea herself what it meant, and so to avoid embarrassment, she stated, "Hermione will go next,"
"I already knew that," Hermione stated.
"Well, aren't we a little smarty-pants!" Aphrodite grumbled with a sneer.
"Yes I am! I get straight O's and I pass every test! I'm a genius and-"
"Just shut up and sing the song!" Luke yelled.
"Fine, I'm singing... you can't be serious!"
"Well, that's a lame title," Grover muttered while Annabeth rolled her eyes at his stupidity.
"Actually, I am serious. It fits you perfectly!" Aphrodite had that same evil smile on her lips.
"Can I modify it a bit?"
"Of course, that's what I expected you to do since you are so intelligent and all,"
Hermione ignored that, closed her eyes as though she couldn't believe she was actually saying this and announced, "I'll be singing I like Big Butts"
Harry and Ron roared with laughter, causing Hermione to shoot them murderous glares. Before she could chicken out, she belted out:
Hermione: I like big books and I cannot lie!
Yes books and I cannot lie!
When I look and see books all over the place,
And small print in my face I get so happy!
Harry and Ron, who at one point thought that it was going to be the best thing they had ever heard, shook their heads in despair at not having their best friend publically humiliated. Annabeth on the other hand had a smile stretched all the way across her face and turned to Zorra and whispered, "Wasn't that such a good song? It totally spoke to me!"
"Sorry Annabeth, but no, that didn't speak to me at all," Zorra grumbled, "I wonder why..." she whispered sarcastically to herself.
Aphrodite stood up and looked over all of them, still holding her ticking puppy. She had the most evil and murderous smile on her face, that Percy actually feared for his life. "Next," she announced, looking genuinely happy in a sort of maniacal way, "we will be having our dear friends Severus and Luke performing a duet for us,"
Snape looked down at his little pink slip for the first time and gasped, jumping to his feet, "This is completely out of line! You cannot expect me to sing this! This is completely childish even for you, Miss Aphrodite! And most of all, I will not sing this song or a song of this nature to this young boy!"
Luke also happened to look down at his pink slip of paper and shouted, "Seriously Aphrodite, I am not going to sing this song with that guy!"
"Oh, but I believe you shall," Aphrodite smiled, stroking her ticking puppy-bomb.
Snape glared at Luke with the utmost loathing, and Luke returned his glare with ten times the power. "Well, do we still have to dance?" Luke asked, hopefully.
"Of course! That will be the best part of it!"
"Uhhh, can someone explain what's going on?" Ron asked, breaking up the argument. Aphrodite, Snape, and Luke looked around at all of the confused (and bored) faces of the adolescents around them.
"I believe our next performers will be able to shed some light on what's going on," Aphrodite still had that evil and terrifying smile, "Severus, Luke, will you please step into the middle of the circle?" Aphrodite stroked the puppy/bomb menacingly.
Snape and Luke looked as though they were about to die when Luke announced, "We will be dueting the song Pleasureman by Gunther,"
Everyone looked confused except for Zorra who squealed, "Ooooh, I love that song!"
"Let's just get this over with," Luke muttered to Snape, who nodded although he looked as though he were about to be sick. The music started and everyone stared as they began to sing and dance:
Luke: You're my pleasureman!
Snape: I'm your pleasure man!
Luke: I come to you in the night! My shining body in my ferrari!
They are waiting for me,
I pray a dance, no romance!
Snape: You come with glitter and glance!
No no kiss on lips,
Darling, please show what you can!
I'm the pleasureman!
Luke: Wham bam baby bam bam
Give me all your loving
Give me hunky punky
Wham bam baby bam bam
working hot for money
Your my honey bunny
Wham bum bum
Snape: I'm your pleasureman!
Luke: Wham bam bam!
Snape: I'm your pleasureman!
Luke: Wham bam bam!
Snape: I'm your pleasureman!
(the dancing will not be mentioned due to the chance of children reading)
By the end, everyone was in hysterical laughter except for two people (can you guess who?). Even Aphrodite was having trouble stifling her giggles. "Now that the last performance is complete, I must say that I forgive all of your for your atrocious behave from before. So, I guess I won't be needing this," And she twisted the ear of the puppy/bomb, only that she twisted it to the left, when to turn it off you had to twist it to the right. A shrill squealing noise erupted from the metal puppy and Aphrodite whispered, "Ooops!"
The bomb exploded and the air filled with dust and rubble. Screams echoed everywhere and bodies were flying. When the dust finally cleared after a few minutes, crying and screams of pain started to make themselves heard. Aphrodite stood in the center of the big black circle, her hands shaped around the air that was at one point the puppy. Her black curls were blown backward and filled with dirt. Her face was black with soot and her makeup and clothes were a wreck. Since she was an immortal goddess, she hadn't died.
Young demigods and wizards were strewn all over the clearing and forest. None of them had died (much to Nico's disappointment) but most of them had injuries. Annabeth lay just a few feet away, her blond curls black and dirty and she had a small cut bellow her eye, but other than that she was fine. Percy's ear was bleeding and one of his legs seemed to have broken. Grover appeared to have a concussion (wait, he always appeared to have a concussion!) and was moaning about food. Hermione had a broken arm, and Ron had a jagged cut running down his face. Thankfully for Ron, the tube of lipstick that had been stuck in his eye in Chapter 3 had been had been dislodged and how Ron had one normal eye and one eye that was bloody and blind and covered with pink lipstick. Luke's own cut on his face had reopened and his foot was broken. Draco seemed to be perfectly fine (stupid lucky git!) and Zorra's main concern was that her makeup was messed up. Nico had a broken leg and Snape a broken nose (but his nose was so crooked anyway that it didn't really matter). Probably the worst injury was Harry's, because his leg had fallen off and was lost somewhere in the woods.
Although there were moans and yelps here and there, no noise of pain was as great as Clarisse's. She seemed to be perfectly fine except for the fact that her abdomen was gigantically large. Since Harry had done his speed-up-pregnancy-spell, it was no surprise that she had achieved nine months in a day, but the problem was that she was too pregnant. Her abdomen was about 3 times as swollen as a normal one should be.
Aphrodite recovered from her shock and said, "Well, sorry all of you, I'm sure that you'll recover soon enough; well maybe not you Harry... but oh well! Now, as for advice on your relationships..."
"Excuse me, Aphrodite," Annabeth interrupted, "but I think that we have more important issues to deal with at the moment than our relationship issues,"
"Yeah, like my leg!" Harry put in.
"Actually, I was going to say Ron's cut on his face," Annabeth sheepishly admitted.
"As a matter of fact, there is something more important that both Ron and Harry," Draco announced. "My son is about to be born!"
Sure enough, Clarisse held her gigantic stomach with two hands yelling. "What's happening?" Nico asked, having the ignorance of a stupid little boy.
"She's in labor, dear," Aphrodite replied.
"Are you sure?" Percy asked; the goddess of love was really starting to get on his nerves.
"Hmm, let me see," Aprhodite pondered sarcastically. "I'm the goddess of love! Of course I'm sure!"
"Uh, guys, I think that the kid is coming right now!" Grover shouted, pointing to Clarisse whose face was bright red and who was screaming the worst swears imaginable.
"Well, if you'd rather pay attention to her than get my precious advice, then I'm leaving!" Aphrodite stomped her foot, just like moody girls do in movies.
"What, so we don't get any advice, even after all that singing and dancing?" Snape asked, for he could care less about Clarisse's pregnancy.
"Fine, I'll tell you one thing: Nico knows something that he's not sharing. Nico, I advise that you tell them,"
Nico looked up at Aphrodite and suddenly and understanding filled his eyes. He nodded.
With that, Aphrodite disappeared in a swirl of rose scented pink smoke. Before anyone could try to figure out what Nico knew that they didn't, Clarisse shouted, "The ---- kid is ---- coming right --- now!"
Author's Note: Yay, another chapter done! I hope that you enjoyed it! Sorry for waiting so long to update again! I was busy with school and other fics. But don't worry, I won't wait that long again (or at least I'll try). Oh, and on a different note, I was wondering if any of you picked up on the disclaimer (or shall I say "claimer") at the beginning of this chapter. I was kind of wondering if people actually read them and take account of them. When you review, can you just say whether you noticed it without me telling you or not? I'm just amusing myself... Anyways, I'm rambling now, so please please please please review! The more reviews I get, the more motivated I will be to write the next chapter (and FYI, the next chapter will be the last and the grand finale)! Thanks for reading!