Author's Note: Chapter 7!!! The last chapter!!! I think it's appropriate that chapter 7 is the last, considering that 7 is the most powerful magical number. Just to let you know, I purposely made this chapter less funny than the others, because, well because I wanted to! So, for all you that need a catch up, the stuff that needs to be summed up in this chapter are: finding Clifford, returning Clifford to the Underworld, Clarisse has to have her baby, Hermione and Annabeth have to settle their dispute over Ron, Nico has to tell everyone something that Aphrodite announced that he knows, Ron is going to make an idiot of himself... again... Enjoy!
Disclaimer: I don't own Percy Jackson or Harry Potter, because if I did I would have been bragging about it since Chapter 1.
They all stared over at Clarisse who, red faced and sweating, lay on the ground. "THE KID IS COMING NOW!!!" she shouted, her anxious eyes darting to each of the faces. "Oh come on, do any of you know how to deliver a baby?!?"
Everyone looked around at each other, until Grover stepped forward. He stood in a heroic stance as a single ray of sun broke through the cloud cover and landed directly on him, "I believe I can be of assistance! I've delivered several babies in my time,"
Instead of being greeted by applause, he got confused and awkward glances. "Grover, why on earth have you--" Annabeth started, but Grover held up a hand for silence.
"Please, it must be absolutely silent so that I can remove the child from Clarisse,"
"Cut the chit-chat and get this damn kid out of me!!!"
"Right..." Grover looked slightly less confident as he knelt beside Clarisse. "So, um, I'm going to need you to lay down on your back and spread your legs wide..."
Clarisse warily did as she was told while the girls watching shifted uncomfortably, and the guys perked up a bit.
"Now, um, I'm going to need you to take your pants off..." Grover shut his eyes and cringed as though expecting her to hit him.
"But I---" but she was interrupter by Hermione who called out,
"Hey, do you smell that?" Everyone lifted their heads and smelled the air. Sure enough, a thick stench wafted through the air.
"That's weird... I think I've smelled this before though..." Harry muttered. "It smells kind of like..."
"Death," Nico confirmed. His stature was erect and his eyes stared blankly into space as though he were seeing things beyond what just lay in the clearing.
"Wh-wh-wh-what do you mean by that?" Zorra asked with a quivering voice while she unconsciously clung to Draco's arm.
"I had forgotten to warn you, and Aphrodite reminded me, but Clarisse's kid made me forget again," Nico glared angrily around at the group, although he seemed more angry with himself. "I could feel it, but I wasn't sure of whether my senses were true. Aphrodite confirmed them for me, revealing the worst. My father's patients has worn out; he has released his undead armies,"
A gasp rippled through the group. Draco stepped forward, "But we'll be able to handle them, won't we? I mean, it's not us that they're after, it's the people that work for PBS Kids,"
"Draco, you must understand," Nico's face looked weary but still powerful, he looked several years older than his age, "the undead armies aren't as smart as we are. They don't know right from wrong. They're just walking corpses with killing as their only thing on their mind. They will try to kill all of you, just not me. They are programmed to kill people and capture the hellhound. They'll do that without thinking but they can sense a son of Hades, so they won't kill me,"
"So these are kind of like Inferi?" Snape asked. It seemed as though Nico were growing on him with all of his talk about undead armies.
"It sounds as though it's exactly the same, professor," Hermione answered, since Nico didn't know what Inferi were. Her brown eyes were wide and bright with anticipation of a battle.
The group fell quiet.
Nico's cold voice broke the silence by quietly muttering, "They'll be here within the hour. I suggest that you all say your goodbyes,"
"Wait, where's Clarisse and my kid?" This was the first time that Draco actually looked as though he cared about Clarisse and his child.
"I saw Grover drag her over to that bush so she wouldn't have to have the kid in front of everyone," Annbeth answered in her know-it-all voice.
Draco ran over to the bush and peered behind it. There was Clarisse, sweaty and red faced, holding a squirming, bloody baby in her arms. Grover was beaming. Draco crouched soundlessly next to Clarisse and placed one hand on her shoulder and one on the baby's. Clarisse turned up towards Draco with a broad smile on her face. "Look at our baby," Clarisse whispered.
"Mmm, hmm," Draco hummed, smiling at his baby. Suddenly his face contorted into a mask of shock. "Damn, I've got a kid!" Draco stormed away from the crying Clarisse to go brood over by a tree.
Ron trotted up and gave Grover a big bear hug. Over Grover's shoulder he gave Clarisse a nod of congratulations and then said to Grover, "Guess what, Nico says the undead armies are attacking and that we're all going to die so we've got to say goodbye,"
Grover's eyes turned into their goat slits with panic and he started crying, burying his face into Ron's mop of red hair. "Uhh, Grover, not that I don't appreciate your tears about me dying, but, uhhh..."
Grover pulled away in confusion, his arms still around Ron's shoulders.
"But, uhhhh, you're acting kind of gay..."
Grover's eyes lit with realization and he backed away, muttering to himself, "Right, uhhh, sorry 'bout that... yeah think of Juniper, think of Juniper, think of Juniper..."
Ron turned around to head back to the clearing to say goodbye to everyone, when he realized that Annabeth was standing directly behind him. "Hey, Ron, can I have a word with you?'
"Uhhh, sure..."
"If you wouldn't mind going into that clearing over there with me, I mean, it's kind of private,"
"Uhhh, sure..."
Annabeth took his hand and led him away. Ron glanced over his shoulder to see a smoldering Hermione.
Hermione bit her lip in rage. She could see exactly what Annabeth was trying to do. She slowly crept after Ron and Annabeth, keeping a good distance between them and her, and staying hidden in the shadows. When she finally approached where they were, she stood behind a tree and peered around it. Annabeth had her iron-tight grasp around Ron's neck and head and she had her lips locked with his. Ron appeared to be thrashing about and trying to get free.
"Oh hale no, he's mine!" Hermione screeched as she sprang out from behind the tree and pulled out her wand. Annabeth immediately released Ron who stumbled backwards and ran out of the clearing. "He was mine before he was ever yours!" Hermione shouted, closing in on Annabeth.
Annabeth drew her sword and pointed it at Hermione. "Yes, but I want him more," and with that she drover her sword into Hermione's left arm. Hermione let out a shrill scream and waved her wand at Annabeth,
"Avada Kedavra!" And with a flash of green light, Annabeth fell to the ground with a sickening thud. Hermione gasped and stared at her wand, shocked that she had actually used an unforgivable curse. She turned her eyes from her wand to Ron who was crouched several yards away. Ron's face was pale and he stared wide-eyed at Hermione with shock and horror.
Before Ron could escape, Hermione dashed over to him, leapt on top of him and whispered, "You're mine now!"
Ron gulped several times before saying, "Errr, Hermione, there's something I should tell you..."
"What, what is it?" Hermione asked frantically, pulling on his shirt.
"It's just that I'm not interested in you,"
Hermione's eyes welled up with tears, "I knew it, you loved Annabeth more than me!"
"No... I don't love either of you," Ron paused and looked as though he was fighting himself in his head before blurting out, "And I don't love any girls at all,"
"Wait, does that mean..." Hermione's eyes widened with shock and Ron nodded.
"But why were you just telling Grover off for acting gay around you?"
"I was trying to hide it,"
Hermione's mouth was gaping open, when someone jumped out from behind a tree, "Get away from my man!" Grover yelled, brandishing a tin can. Hermione leapt off of Ron, who ran up to Grover and gave him a big hug,
"You're my hero," Ron giggled and gave Grover a big hug.
Hermione threw up. She watched as Ron and Grover ran off, hugging and giggling, and felt a presence beside her.
"Hi," was all Nico said as a greeting.
"Hey," Hermione replied in a miserable tone.
"You're pretty upset, huh?"
"Well, yeah,"
Nico smiled up at her, flashing his brilliantly white teeth, "How would you like me to make all of the sadness go away?"
Hermione nodded immediately and Nico took her hand and led her into another clearing.
Meanwhile, Harry and Percy were saying their goodbyes when they heard a scream. "What was that?" Harry asked, feeling his back pocket for his wand.
"No clue, let's check it out,"
Harry and Percy ran and ran until they met up with Zorra who was leaning against a tree, chomping on a wad of gum. Harry asked her if it was her scream and she replied that it wasn't. She tagged along with them as they ran about, searching for the scream's owner.
"I think we should head back, we're really far away from the clearing and it's starting to get dark," Zorra whispered, her face pale despite all of the spray tan she had on.
"No, I've got a feeling that we're close," Harry whispered back. Just as he spoke, they all caught their breaths as the entered another clearing.
On the ground lay the dead boy of Hermione Granger. She lay perfectly still, and her hair was a mess. The eyes on her face were closed and her mouth was slightly ajar. Zorra burst into uncontrollable tears and was desperately hugging Percy's shoulder.
'I... I can't believe it," Harry whispered. He couldn't pull his eyes from Hermione's corpse.
"I know, it's just..." Percy started, then his eyes narrowed. "Wait a second... since when is Hermione wearing all black clothes with skulls on it?"
The three of them crept closer to examine her. The face was definitely Hemione's, and so was the bushy hair, but she seemed shorter than usual, and was indeed wearing all black clothes.
"Why on earth..." Harry muttered, only to be interupted by Percy.
"Of course, why didn't I realize it! Look Harry, look at the skin tone. The arms don't match the face, and the body is much too small!"
"Wha-wha-wha-what do you mean by that?" Zorra asked through sobs.
"I saw this in a movie once... what was that movie called again... oh yeah, Silence of the Lamb! Zorra, Harry, I'd like you to meet Hannibal Lector. In the movie he killed another person, and to get away with it he cut off the face of the dead person, put it over his own, and pretended to be that person! If I'm not mistaken..."
Zorra gasped as Percy reached down and peeled the face off of Hermione's body, only to find it wasn't Hermione. Nico's bloody face peered up at them. "Hey guys, what's up?"
"What have you done with Hermione?' Zorra screamed, her face bright red and tear streaked.
"Ate her. And let me tell you, she was simply delectable!" Nico sat up and licked his lips.
Zorra let out a screaming cry while Harry questioned further, "So why did you put her face on top of yours?"
"To try to get away with it obviously. The plan was that you would think that I was the body of Hermione and I would get away with it! Obviously, that didn't work,"
"How long have you been a cannibal," Percy asked.
"Quite a long time, really. I find people simply delicious! Oh, Percy, you might find that your mom isn't there when you got home,"
"Dammit!"
"Nico, you can't be a cannibal! It's just... inhuman," Harry said
"So?" Nico asked. He didn't seem at all guilty that he had just eaten Hermione.
"Well, um... just don't do it again,"
"Whatever,"
They heard a distant yell and the four of them ran out to the clearing. They saw Ron and Grover waving happily.
"Guess what! We found Clifford the Big Red Hellhound!" Grover yelled in delight.
"Yeah, while we were skipping together through fields of flowers and rainbows, we came across him sleeping!" Ron continued.
"That's great! So all we have to do is get him and then return him to the Underworld. Then maybe Hades will stop the undead armies!" Harry exclaimed.
"Two problems with that theory," Nico said, wiping some blood from his chin and stepping from behind Percy to face everyone, "number one is that the undead armies are irreversible once they have been unleashed and will only stop hunting once they have gotten their pray. And number two, is that I sensed Clifford's soul entering the realm of the Underworld; he's dead,"
Harry and Percy gaped at him. "Have any other crucial secrets you'd like to share, Nico?' Harry asked sarcastically.
Luke (who had just walked up sexily and had overheard the conversation) asked, "Wait, if Clifford is dead, then who killed him?"
Ron's face lit up, "Oooh, ooh! I know the answer to that one! I killed him!"
They all stared at Ron until he whispered to Grover, "Did I say something wrong?"
"Ron!" Luke bellowed, "What the f------- were you thinking! How could you be such a f-----ing idiot! Since you went and f----ing killed him, now we won't have anyone to hand over to Lord Hades! Even worse, he'll be so f---ing pissed at us for killing his prized dog that he'll f-----ing torture us once we die and go to the f---ing Underworld!'
Everyone stared at Luke, except for Nico who was smiling because he had learned some fun new words since no one remembered to cover his ears. All at once, everyone started yelling at each other. Clarisse, Draco, and Snape had heard the whole thing and were yelling too.
"GUYS!" Nico yelled, causing all of them to fall silent except for Clarisse and Draco's baby which was crying. "Sorry to bum you all out some more, but the undead armies are literally here,"
"They all turned around to see hundreds of zombies approaching them, and even more flooding out of a hole in the ground that had ruptured from the Underworld opening up to the world.
They all pulled out their swords and wands and prepared to battle to the death. They gave silent goodbyes and almost all of them were crying. It was silent as the zombies stared at the humans for them to make the first move, and visa versa.
Clarisse gasped, "Draco, what should I do with the baby? I can't have him in a battle like this?" But before Draco could respond she ran a few steps forward and then chucked the baby into the woods like a football.
"What the heck did you just do with my son?" Draco yelled in disbelief.
"I threw him back to camp. Chiron can raise him. I'm glad that I've been practicing my football throwing!"
While Clarisse and Draco were talking, the undead armies surged upon the demigods and wizards. "Nico, do something!' Zorra hissed in his ear.
"Uhhh, I, son of Hades, command you to stop trying to attack me and my friends,"
But the zombies didn't seem to care because they stared at him for a few seconds and then the one in front stabbed him in the gut with a sword.
"Weeeeee, I'm dying!" Nico giggled happily as he quickly died.
"FJKDFJDSJFJKDSJFJJKLJKLSFJSKDFJJOIEIOJVOWJ!" the head zombie called and the undead armies charged. Snape used the temporary diversion caused by Nico's death to run and jump down the big hole to the Underworld that was opened by the zombies coming up to try to save his own life.
The zombies and the demigods fought sword on sword combat and the wizards fired jinxes left and right, until the zombie fighting Luke pulled out a large needle filled with green liquid. He jabbed it into Luke's arm and pumped the liquid into Luke; only then did Luke realize that it was a shot. Only a few moments later Luke collapsed on the ground vomiting and coughing.
"What's wrong, Luke?" Zorra called in between stabs at a zombie.
"It's... it's... the swine flu!" Luke called, using up the last of his energy, and then he died.
"Wait," Grover said, thinking out loud, "they just injected the swine flu into Luke! But it killed him so quickly it must have been a Super Swine Flu!"
Just as he said that, all of the zombies pulled out large shots with green fluid and stabbed them everywhere they could. Percy fell to the ground dead, then Zorra, then Draco. Ron and Grover stood back to back, holding hands, fighting zombies together, but they both got stabbed by the swine flu and died as well.
Clarisse and Harry were the only ones left. They both stopped fighting for a moment and stared each other in the eye. "This is it," Harry said.
Clarisse, the daughter of the god of war, was determined not to lose this battle. She had never lost a battle before in her life! But she felt the needle jab into her arm, and she saw one jabbed into Harry's and she knew that she had fought, and lost her last battle. Before the swine flu could kill either of them though, she watched as the zombies cut off Harry's head, and then she felt as her own head fell off of her shoulders and rolled across the woodland floor.
The zombies stared around them at their victims. All were dead. But there were more people in the world, weren't there? Lord Hades had given them a specific command to kill the PBS Kids workers and anyone that got in their way. But where were the PBS Kids workers? To make their job a little bit easier, they decided to kill everyone in the world to make sure that they didn't miss a single PBS Kids executive, worker, or even fan. The head zombie pulled out a large bomb and threw it a few feet away. It let out a heavy pink gas that when breathed by any living being, they would die.
The zombies listened to the shrieks all over the world and when the world finally fell silent and all of the pink gas had floated away and into the atmosphere, they slunk back into the hole into the Underworld through which they had come, closing the portal tightly behind them.
But, before they could close the door, a tall man in a black cloak crept out. Severus Snape watched as the portal closed and then looked all around him. He saw that no one in the world was near him, and he figured that they must have all died. He looked upward at the pink gas that was floating several feet above his head, therefore not affecting him, and sighed. He gasped when the realization finally came crashing down on him. He was the only person on earth alive. "Oh shit," he muttered.
Author's Note: The end, and wasn't that a lovely ending? I thought it was! Well, now the story is over, and there are no more chapters! I hope all of you enjoyed it, and thanks so much for reading! Be sure to review because it would really mean a lot to me!