"In a perfect world, when he's with her, he would be wishing he was with me; when he looked at her, he would be looking at me; when he smiled at her, his smile would be for me; when he thought about someone, he would be thinking about me. In a perfect world, he would realize that she wasn't the one he was supposed to be with and I would still be standing here waiting for him still when he finally knows this. But this isn't a perfect world and people do get hurt, you smile when you feel like crying, you act like you're okay when you're falling apart inside and you let it go. You move on, because there's nothing else you can do." ~Unknown

Chapter 3- Breaking apart-

Broken apart from the core, I couldn't bare to bring myself to look at myself in the mirror that next morning. I did love bella, but not in the same way, not as powerful has I loved someone I would never see again, except in the fragments and muddy memories of my mind.

Bella knew something was wrong, but I also knew that she thought it was due to being here, in Chicago, remembering the past. If only she knew how close she was from the truth.

Alice, thankfully arrived before bella could ponder my actions and words. She blocked her thoughts from me, this couldn't be good.

"I know what we can do today"alice enlightened us. I rose one eyebrow, but she was looking at bella. "The weather is perfect overcast" she informed us. "Get to the proposal alice" I demanded. She looked at me. "I propose," she rolled her eyes, and turned back to bella "we adventure into edward's past." she said clapping her hands and jumping up and down. I froze, no! "Alice," I said but she cut me off, "no, we are doing it" she said and left the room saying be ready in 10.

Bella looked at me and I wondered how my face looked like to her, fearful? I didn't want her, or anyone to find out about anything, because anything could lead to her.

Anna was a model and if alice truly wanted to get to my past, pictures of her would surely come up in any internet search site if you look up Chicago 1901-1918. I tried to calm mt fear, 'they don't have to know I knew her.'

"Are you ok edward?" Bella asked me, her voice full of concern. "Yes, love." I hated how that hurt to say that. 'I hope so.'

She gave me a smile, a few minutes later we were ready to go to where every alice would take us. We left the hotel and I felt someone grab my hand, already knowing who it was, I kissed her forehead.

I knew, then, I would have to move on, not only did I have a wife, but I had a beautiful daughter as well.

Nessie smiled up at me, she was all grown up, but stayed physically around 16. I smiled back, happy on the outside, but on the inside I was breaking apart.

I would have to lock away my heart, but of course that was an impossible task, because it belongs to someone else.

We took two cars, Alice, Bella, Nessie, and me in the first car and the other car holding the rest of our family, following closely behind. Alice took us to the outskirts of Chicago and I had to do a double take once I saw the sign, alice took us to the Chicago cemetery!(from 1900-1920) "Alice, wha" I started to say but she quickly cut me off. "No its ok, Im sure you want to see your own grave," she laughed "beside's I brought flowers, like...gifts to your family and friends." She finished.

There was no one there besides us along with the dead, feet below us and as we walked down the rows of tomb stones. Each one leading Alice or Esme or even bella to ask, 'did you know them' and if I did 'who were they' and 'what were my relations with them.' and then we approached the one I been dreading, the one that I don't think I could keep calm and collected and lie that I didn't know her, all the emotions came to the surface, fast and unstoppable. Jasper took a few step back and held his head in his hands, feeling all that I felt.

Alice quickly looked at jasper, honestly confused. "Jazz?, are you alright?" The others followed her example and asked him questions, it seemed like my emotions had shocked him to an extend that he couldn't even speak. He looked up at me, questions running through his head directed to me. I shook my head and looked away from jasper's gaze. I did the only thing I could do that moment, I took a flower from the basket Alice held and I took out a single red rose and lay it on her grave, it told everything, when the rose landed on the grave all my emotions retreated and I moved onto the next grave.

No one said anything for the rest of the visit, but their thoughts betrayed that silence. Im sure that they all would ask later about anna, after all they saw her name on the grave that caused so much pain for me, that was portrayed on my face.

'There goes the plan for them not finding out about her.'

The questions rang in my head, my own thoughts.

'How would I tell them about her, lie?, that clearly didn't work back there, so is the only option left is to tell the truth?'

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'I don't think so'