"Real love hurts. Real love makes you totally open and vulnerable, and often miserable. Real love will take you far behind yourself, and therefore real love will devastate you. If love doesn't shatter you, you don't know real love." ~Unknown

Chapter 5-"realization"-

Alice was about to surly yell at me but she had no time, the world twisted in that instant and strange and vivid images pierced my vision.

I closed my pain filled eyes.

I was flying-no soaring on the dance floor, the world spun around me, that you might confuse it with dizziness, but I knew that couldn't possibly be, vampire's are unable to become dizzy, even disoriented. Unless caused by another vampire, but I smelled only humans.

I couldn't see anything clearly, except to beautiful deep ocean blue eyes.

"EDWARD!" I recoiled as if I was hit, but nothing had touched me. I opened my eyes.

Alice was clearly the culprit of the voice. "You didn't have to yell." I said calmly. Jasper's gift could not penetrate Alice's wrath, and unfortunately, I was the target of that wrath.

What was uncalled for was Alice attacking me mentally, she yelled such harsh words. It was worse than the pain of Jane's gaze, worse than-and it hurt me to say this, but worse than almost losing bella, countless of times.

Though Alice's words sent my world into perspective. I should be hurt because she accused me as a cheater-even though what she say hasn't happened and might not happen, but Im not hurt for that reason. Im hurt because she was telling me such bad words about the girl I was 'caught' dancing with. Saying she was worthless, stupid, and a slut. Seeing those blue eyes, the purity behind them- something I suppose Alice couldn't see.

And Alice didn't stop her assumptions. Continue with words even harsher.

Because of this girl of ocean blue origins, I was hurt and I didn't even know her- but yet I wasn't even hurt that Alice had accused me of cheating on Bella! My own wife!

No one, besides me heard her mental rant-but then again, who else can read minds besides me? Though I knew they wanted answers, their faces revealed it all along with the questions running through their heads, but I couldn't voice a word.

Alice didn't hide the fact she was 'talking' to me either, she stared right at me, with hate filled eyes. She didn't know the girl from eve and she had the nerve to call her all those horrifying words, but then again I was caught with the same dilemma, I didn't know her either. But something was so addicting about this girl, something I couldn't get out of my mind, as Alice stopped her rant out of the blue and stepped on the gas pedal and sped to the hotel room. At least that's what I saw in her mind.

A sudden memory flashed before me.

It was painful but I willing welcomed it. It was a week after Anna had died and I was of course grieving over someone I had truly never had. She was my everything and I hoped she had thought the same of me as her everything, but of course I would never know for sure.

We said we loved each other once, that night I gave into her, but of course after that day we never spoke of it again. She was busy with wedding plans, though Im sure that was the last then she wanted to do, but being who she is, she did it for her family.

Then that night happened, the diagnoses, and the final moments with her.

There was only one then to do afterwards, the day your suppose to forget the past and move on, the funeral, but I realized now looking out on the passing scenery of Chicago, once so open and green, now so busy and full of buildings, and realized something I should have realized so long ago, before Bella and I went so far. I looked at Nessie in the windows reflection. No, I don't regret anything that happened or any of the decisions I had made, even leaving bella, because it had all led to a great future...for them.

My mom always told me do what my heart tells me to do, but I had felt I had loss my heart long ago, but at this moment I realized I did have a heart. It might not beat, but I have one, and I knew exactly what my heart was telling me to do. No matter at what cost, I had to dance with the girl in Alice's vision. Something pulled me toward her, and-dare I think it- hold her and fix any problem she had, comfort her, and just be there for her, and all of those things with out even knowing her.

But somewhere in the back of my mind, I think I did know her.

A.n.- sorry if it was a little confusing but I feel its important to get edward's feelings across.=] Thank you to all those who reviewed any of my stories, 'subscribed' to me as an author, and such. I REALLY appreciate it. Im sure other authors understand how it feels to look at their e-mail and see that people like their stories, I sure know how it feels. I hope you guys will be kind enough to tell me what you think, in a quick review or pm, it makes my day and gives me a reason to continue, thank you. Hope you enjoy my stories, this story, and this chapter.

~Ashley