I sat quietly at the large wooden table while conversations buzzed around me in several directions. The Weasleys were such an animated group. I always enjoyed a visit to their home; it was like a second home to me. I immediately agreed to come when Ron invited me yesterday, but now that I was here, the sinking lonely feeling started aching inside me again. How could I possibly feel so lonely when surrounded by such a large group? Lately I've just felt so separate from everyone. It had to be something I was doing to myself though. Not a single person around that table excluded me in any way. It was because I was depressed and I knew it. I just kept hiding inside myself so that no one else could see. I was pulling away; it wasn't them that was unreachable, it was me.
My mind wandered again to the only person who knew how I was feeling. I never felt so free when I read his letters. Well, I had somehow assumed it was a "he" - I was almost certain it was a "he" even though I wasn't sure how. It was two days since I sent him that angry letter and I was deeply regretting it. I was upset that he had said something to my boss, but I was even more upset that I might have pushed away the only person who truly knew me right now.
"Alright, Hermione?" Fred asked. My emotional mask had slipped while I was thinking and I quickly hitched my smile and sparkly eyes back into place. No one else seemed to have noticed as they were still chatting loudly.
"Yeah, just tired," I lied. "So, how's work been?"
"Ah, finally slowing down a bit now that school's back. We still have regular foot traffic, but in the next week or so, I imagine we'll be doing more business by mail. Well, except for that large ministry order."
"Speaking of the Ministry," Ron seemed to have transferred conversations at Fred's last sentence. But he now spoke to the table at large. "Harry and I just got the big lead we've been waiting for. The next couple weeks we're going to be in..."
"Ron!" Harry interrupted.
"Right... We're going to be out of country..." Ron seemed to have almost spilled something he shouldn't.
"When are you leaving?" Mrs. Weasley looked rather upset at the news. Harry and Ginny had exchanged looks. He must have told her earlier.
"Tomorrow," Harry answered.
I again thought of how petty my worries seemed. Harry and Ron were out chasing dark wizards. Ginny's fiancé was leaving the country and she was surely worried for his safety. I had no right to feel as depressed as I was. But this idea only made me feel worse.
The entire room was filled with an uncomfortable silence. It was a horrible silence. The Burrow was never meant to be a place of quiet. The silence was broken by a tap at the kitchen window. Mrs. Weasley bustled from her chair to open the window. A handsome tawny owl stepped proudly in. This movement seemed to break the ice and the table once again thundered in a handful of conversations.
"Hermione, dear, it's for you," Mrs. Weasley handed me the letter. The purple ink almost made me cry. I so badly wanted to get another letter from 'Anon' but how horrible I'd been in my last to him... I had no idea what I should expect to read.
I thought I should hold onto it until I got home. But surely I'd burst before then. I looked around to make sure everyone was busy, then opened the letter and held it against my lap so no one else would see.
Sept. 5, 2000
Dear Hermione,
I'm very, very sorry that I upset you. I did not mean to embarrass you. And I would never dream of revealing anything from your journal entry with anyone, most especially your boss. Randy Keddle happens to be a friend of mine from years ago. The letter I sent him was a friendly one catching up on both of our families. I'd be lying if I said I didn't mention you. But I simply mentioned that you were a friend of mine and casually asked what he thought of your house elf proposal. I only wanted him to feel the need to look over your proposal again. I do not think that he pities you, he only realized how rude he'd been. Any guilt he might have is not my doing.
Again, I'm very, very sorry. I promise you that I will never again interfere with your work. I really hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me.
Your Anonymous Friend.
I was crying again. I had jumped to conclusions. He had not revealed me to my boss and how silly it seemed that I would think that. I quickly wiped my eyes, hoping no one would see, but I was too late.
Fred was staring across the table at me again. He looked genuinely concerned as he stared into my eyes.
"Are you okay?" he asked quietly.
I sniffled and nodded. "Yeah, I'm good. It's a good letter, not a bad one," I explained as he eyed the paper I was folding.
"Good," he smiled softly at me and I blushed. I should have waited until I got home to read it.
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