Title: "I shoulda told you from the moment I meant you." (3/3)
Author: villegirl17 aka Brittley
Rating: Maybe PG-13
Pairing: Anamaria and Jack
Summary: Anamaria can't believe Jack could be so blind...
Disclaimer: I own the POTC movies in only a copy of them not the rights or characters, and some memorabilla but that's it.
Pt. 3
She dreamed of her father who had also been her slavemaster although she never felt like a slave with him. Growing up in Hispanola had been beautiful and dangerous. It had been a wonderful, emotional time for her and a hell all in its own.
She thought of learning to read and write and sing and dance with her half French sister Bella who was her junior by four years. Her life on the plantation had been great until her father died and his brother Julian took over when she was 10. After that, he reminded her everyday that she was worthless in the eyes of her country in him particularly. With her mother long dead from her second child birthing which resulted in her little brother Lucas, she was alone. Lucas had been forced to work in America by her uncle and Bella was shipped to an England boarding school. Her uncle, she remembered made sure she knew her place and right before trying to escape she had been whipped and sold.
Her dreams shifted to the day Jack found her and bought her from that slave auction. Her heart had pounded in her chest knowing he was different. Knowing he could save her...so why was he her torturer now she thought...
She woke up laying there panting from the dreams of her past and of Jack. Her hair wild and spread underneath her as she lay there just thinking and catching her bearings. Was she always so jumpy she thought. She turned her head to look at the little window and saw that it was night. Although she'd rather stay in bed she had to get up for her nightly duties of helping to keep watch. Also, her stomach was quietly but sternly reminding her she hadn't eaten anything but an apple.
So, she made it below deck first to claim a spot at the dinner table wearily having to pass the Captain's quarters to get there. She took a deep breath and was safely three steps pass his cabin when the door suddenly swung back wide.
"Ana luv, what are ye doin'?"
She sighed closing her eyes damning her lucky stars that he was awake and from what she could tell only slightly drunk. However, it wouldn't be the same man if he were sober she knew, and yet there was never enough rum to get him to pass out cold. She had been hoping for him to be asleep from drinking so that he would leave her alone but it seemed not to be. She turned to him glaring really and hoping that the look would send her message home.
"I'm going to eat Jack. Is there any reason why you are deterring me from that?"
Normally he would be at her throat with the 'Captain Jack Luv. You're forgetting the Captain.'; and normally she would try to be nice and say 'sorry Captain sir.' However, she didn't honestly care at the moment.
He smiled throwing her off a bit and making her take a step back as she wondered what he was up to now. They remained like that for some time, him smiling and her wearily looking up with suspense.
"Well you might want to come in here first because-"
"Like Hell!! What do you want? I mean it, whatever it is you can tell me now and here so I can be on my way!"
She said determined never to end up alone with him again. The kiss earlier was bad enough at destroying her practiced indifference, she didn't need a repeat of it or worse. He sighed seeing she wasn't joking, before he put up a finger and his smile widened. He signaled for her to wait there and then he disappeared back in his quarters. She had half a mind to leave then seeing it was the safer option but she didn't think he'd forgive her if she did. Nervously, she crossed her arms over her overly large white blouse and waited. Biting her lower lip, she took a look around the deck making sure none of the rest of the crew seen her waiting outside his open door. She could just hear the rumors now of how she became another conquest for the infamous Captian Jack Sparrow. No matter how much it hurt to love him and not have it returned, she could never allow herself to be that low. Not for him, not for any man.
"Got it and it was hard to find by the way!"
Jack exclaimed returning to the open doorway but without whatever it was he had been searching for. He begged her to come in once more before warning her that he would stand there all night until she did. She complied not trying to talk to him all night let alone miss dinner but only when she was sure no one would see her go in.
"I should have stayed asleep."
She mumbled to herself as she heard his door close behind her with a soft click. Refusing to go any further in his room than she had too, she turned to face him.
"Well??"
He tilted his head as if he were truly seeing her for the first time and it made her fidget where she stood. Not once could she remember him doing something like that with her. In a way, it was like he was trying to remember her like she was going to disappear at any moment. She wanted to hit him and walk away but she knew that would only resolve her problems with him momentarily.
She risked looking in his eyes and immediately saw all the sadness there. It touched her heart, not that she'd admit it but it really did. As she was about the ask once more what he wanted with her, he spoke.
"You know after you ran off deck, Ana, I spent the rest of the day just thinking of you. I came to a decision about why you might be mad and how to fix it about...oh about an hour ago."
She froze wanting to run when he said that and her heart jumped up to her throat. It was sending chills up her spine knowing he had actually spend time thinking about her. Then it hit her, maybe he was ready to take Gibbs up on the offer and throw her off the Pearl. Could he really just toss her aside like she meant nothing?? Did all those years of watching after each other mean nothing to him?
"That's fine...what did you decide then Jack?"
"I'm taking us to Tortuga Anamaria and so...so if you want out of the crew because of whatever it is I did, no one will stop you."
He looked away as he spoke like it was hurting him to let her go, however, she felt it was more to do with money than anything else. It stung her pride to think that she was really no more than a deckhand to him. She frowned confused by the whole scene. Minutes before he was begging her to come in the cabin and was so jolly. Now he was telling her she could leave if she wanted and that he spend the entire day thinking about telling her that. She nodded and sighed before taking a step towards the door, but she didn't get far before he was holding onto her arm to stop her.
"Tell me Ana, tell me what happened to make you want to leave?? Did you save me just to leave again...it's killing me Ana!"
Stupidly, her heart jumped as hope arose. What if he really did think of her as more than just another woman he could protentially add to his list. Did he really care for her on some level?? She destroyed the hope by thinking if she told him the truth, there would be a sure mockery of her feelings in store. Not that he would ever say so to her face, but she could tell that he would get her on the quickest ship away from him.
"There's nothing to say Jack. You owe me a ship, and it's clear that you don't plan to honor that agreement. So, I think it's good that we're headed to Tortuga. I'm just tired of it all Jack...I need to get out there on my own and make a name for myself."
"You already have a name for yourself Ana you know that, and I don't think that's it. Come on, I've known you since you were 15 and you're telling you just want to up and leave the Pearl."
She wouldn't look at him hating to lie to him like that but hating it more that he called her on it. She known from an early start that men like Jack Sparrow only loved one thing and that was themselves. Still she wasted her time and her youth giving him her heart.
"Yes I came back to save you Jack because despite the nasty things said about me I'm no betrayer. I didn't do that for some stupid accord we had either ok,but I'm done being your first mate!"
Her face was flushed but her brown skin hid it well. She never liked getting upset with him because it wasn't often when she'd win. However he only nodded this time like the fight to find out the truth behind her anger was taken out of him.
"Fine you may leave, but just take this before you leave. Please, I actually bought it in case...well in case this happened one day."
He pointed to the bookshelf and she turned to see what it was. She saw a tiny box placed there that she hadn't noticed there before. Immediately, she shook her head no not wanting whatever it was he bought her. It wouldn't make her get over him any faster if when she left, she had whatever was in the box with her.
"Ana please...it's just a going away present and I swear on my mother that I'll let you be until we make landfall."
She went and took the box from the shelf holding it like it were hot or poison before peeking inside or it. She would have smiled at the gesture if it wasn't done so under such circumstances. When she reached inside and pulled her hand back out, she had a pearl necklace with a large pink heart surrounded by three shappires.
"It took me two whole months to actually save up for it and I've had it since...well let's just say it's a few years old now."
Jack said as she finally looked up to see that he had crossed the room and was now right behind her. She opened her mouth to say something, anything, but the words escaped her at the moment. Catching her bearings, she finally put the necklace back in the box and back on the shelf before looking away from him.
"Jack I can't take that. I mean it's a nice gesture but...I...I don't deserve that from you."
He hung his head obviously not expecting her to turn it down. She touched his arms lightly and smiled sadly back at him.
"I saved you because I couldn't let something like a hanging happened to you. I care about you Jack, and I didn't do it to hopefully get anything from you."
She went to walk out the door again, but he caught her again and she sighed letting him thinking it was the last time he would. They remain like that for sometime until she gently released his hand.
"I better start packing Jack."
She was almost home free but he hoisted her upwards so that their chests were touching and she couldn't have gotten away if she tried. Then he kissed her like earlier but more desperate this time. She looked at her feet when it was over disappointed at her feelings for him.
"I'm...forgive me Anamaria."
He said breaking away from the embrace first, and then he spoke once more.
"It's not easy letting you go you know. I...I don't think this ship will ever be the same and I'm..."
"What?"
She had to ask when all she really wanted was to run away and pretend none of this had happened. The way Jack was acting, confused and unsure was not like him. This was a man who could charm anyone and get out of anything even with no plan. How was it letting her go making him act so differently?
"It's not easy letting you go because I care for you too Ana."
She almost choked on her next words wanted to spit out what he told Gibbs a few nights ago. Why didn't he just let her go back when she first started to leave. However, she thought it was now or never.
"What about what you told Gibbs the other night??"
He stared at her like she had grown another head. Apparently, the secret was now loose.
"You- you heard that? Is that why you won't talk to me and want to leave?"
She only nodded her head not brave enough now that he knew about how he felt for her. Jack lowered his head too.
"I lied Anamaria. I-I had to you see because it's not easy."
"What are you talking about?? What isn't easy Jack!"
"I'm in love with you Ana and I'm not...I'm not trying to get you hurt by telling you this."
His words were said so sincerely that she burst into another round of tears hating them but not fighting them. She stood there crying like a child at his words knowing they were true but never expecting to hear them. He wasted no time pulling her back in his arms and sitting down with her in his lap in a nearby chair. She wrapped her arms around his neck and continued to cry. All this time and she thought she was invisible to him.
"Anamaria?"
Him saying her name caught her attention and she looked up with her tear-ridden face. He wiped at her eyes one at a time before pulling her closer. Who knew Jack Sparrow could be so gentle?
"How...how long have you kept this from me?"
He smiled before kissing her right hand and then wrapping his fingers within her own. She smiled watching him do so and waiting for his answer.
"Honestly...I put this how young William once did. I shoulda told ya from the moment I meant you."
She only continued to smile because she was afraid if she didn't there would be more tears and she was sick to death of them. She bravely initiated another kiss between them and when she pulled back rested her forehead upon his.
"The same for me you daft man. I think that day you saved me, I was in love with you and I hated you for it at first. I mean I never really hated you but you know what I mean."
Instead of saying anything back to her, he tried to pull her foreward some more, but as he did the chair flew backwards taking them with it. They were both silent as they checked themselves and each other for injuries before bursting into laughter.
"I guess we can't do that again."
She said giggling and moving to stand up, but Jack held her in place. She looked at him curiously before allowing him to hold her there.
"Don't move yet. In fact, I kinda like it better down here...wouldn't you agree luv?"
She blushed a little seeing as she was sprawled out on top of him with a broken chair underneath them. She went to cover the blush with her face turned away but he made her face him.
"Are you blushing Ana?"
She playfully punched him in the arm making him laugh before he kissed her once more.
"I really do love you and don't want you to leave."
"I'm not and I love you too...even if you do smell like rum all the time."
**soooo....what do you think...well if anybody reads it!!**