Jim

Jim did not believe he could take it ! His life was falling apart again! Five months ago it was destroyed and less than a month later, it miraculously reassembled itself. Now, it has all gone to hell.

Five months ago it became apparent to the Vulcan elders that the bonds they forced on their people as children were detrimental to the mental health of the remaining Vulcans. Vulcans gain mental stability from their bonds with their mates. Without a mate a Vulcan will slowly go insane and then die in extreme pain taking many years. It had been the Vulcan way for many generations for the families to pick a mate for their child and bond them at a young age. The thought was that the katras (souls) of the two bond mates would join together and grow to complement one another. After the distortion of Vulcan and the subsequent examination of the remaining bonds it became clear that was not the case. The katras of two incompatible mates often tried to destroy the other, the distortion happened so slowly that it was mostly attributed to old age. But with so many freed from their bonds the damage of those bonds became clear.

The elders consulted the Destenacra, one of the few texted of the old ways which was placed on Detavage so as to be symbolically and physically separated from the modern Vulcans. While Vulcans do not necessary forbid knowledge, the Destenacra held many teachings about emotions and their necessity so any Vulcan who pressed this knowledge was looked down upon. It had only been Spock Prime who remembered the text do in part to his brother trying and failing to get them. The Destenacra described an ancient ceremony that would enable ones katra to find a mate that would suite it but the ritual had been abandoned due to political reasons. So they decided it was logical to perform a series of test the results of which were so conclusively positive, the elders that every single Vulcan who was not bonded would undergo the right.

Spock left days later to meet the elders and undergo the right. Kirk had been devastated. He had foolishly hoped that after Spock's break up, he would have a chance to win the Vulcan, but now Spock was going off to get engaged to some Vulcan tramp. Spock informed him that he may have to leave Starfleet forever, but that had not happened. Jim will never forget the night he found out that he had not only not lost everything but gained more than he dreamed.

(flash back)

Jim had finally fallen into a fitful sleep after a harder then normal mission that had resulted in him being more beaten than normal because he did not have his First Officer. It was not just that he missed Spock, who played a role on his ship, but Spock gave him balance. Jim would want to charge off guns blasting and Spock would find the most logical solution and save his ass. People would get hurt or die, Jim would blam himself and Spock would point out that logically it was not Jim's fault.

With Spock gone it was almost too much. If it were not for the fact a hard life had beaten the tears out of him long ago, he would be throwing a temper tantrum of epic proportions because, let's face it, he could do the perfect temper tantrum. He would admit if only in his head he had the maturity of a 2 year old. He was a manipulative bastard when needed and he had a temper that surpassed a Klingon in intensity.

Once A Klingon general who thought lets pick on the youngest crew in the federation. You know, kidnap a helmsman here and a first officer there learned very fast that it did not matter that you have the Enterprise out gunned and a 98.88% probability of victory (Spock could find the best ways to raise crew moral). DO NOT PISS OFF CHAPTEN JAMES T KIRK. Secondly, if you must piss Kirk off do not do so by haling the enterprise with a half dead vulcan first officer and secret love of Captain Kirk in the back ground. If all the above must be done to not claim that said Vulcan would make a wonderful addition to your harem once broken klingons could not find anything more than space dust so assumed that the federation had built a dooms day devise or something and were being good little Klingons for the time being. Star fleet command was still a year later trying to figure out Kirk did. A number of people had already written paper about it and some at the academy want to create a course in the command track on just the incident. The crew of the enterprise had already given up trying to understand how Kirk did the impossible and just went about the job of boldly going where no one had gone before.

Jim had tried to put all thoughts of temperate and Klingons out of his mind. He tried to put the thought of what Spock was doing from his mind as well but he was of course unsuccessful. So he was surprised when he dreams turned to Spock. This however was different from any other dream Jim had ever had.

First and most alarming was that he did not have a body he was a mass of warmth and light not unlike he thought the stars he wonders while awake. Under fire and raging position of star was a core of com he know that place at least that was where he went when shit hit the fan. In his mind he would go to that place and time would seem to slow, he would understand more, and he would get more information than he did normally. Star fleet medical was still trying to figure out what and how he did what he did. He the star was glorious with a few dark spots as those he was a weird highbred of a star and a black hole. They reminded him of bruises and when he looked fare to closely at one particularly large one he saw a flash of memory eight year old Jim was huddled in a corner starving and weak beaten to the point he looks more like meat then a boy watching the hurter in front of him with no way out , no way to fight and no way to win.

NO the word was not a word but a thought not his own but in his own mind. For a moment he did not care the word had saved him. As he became aware of himself or his starself again he noticed something odd. Where once he was one in all directions filling the space there was a seeping blackness. It was fathomless and tantalizing in its mysterious way. This blackness was not like his own this was comforting there was a coldness and a calm that soothed the remaining stress of that place away. But under that there was fire a core of it as strong and as bright as Kirk star (as he decided to think of himself because he is not him because last time he checked James t Kirk had a smoking hot body). They were equal and opposite perfect.

"Yes perfect" this too was not spoken but a more clearly directed thread of thought.

"Who are you?" Kirk tried to say it but it would not come out. He did not have a mouth or tongue to speak with or ears to think with .He stopped that thought before he stared question his extends and out uses physical stuff. Kirk being Kirk changed tact easily and tried thinking hard at the good black stuff.

"I am one who is seeking". If Kirk had eyes he would be rolling them before Kirk could make a comment about how helpful the black was being his edges began to mix with the black and the black moved to surround him. Kirk felt panic rise in him when vague ideas of home and family began to flash. The black was trying to merge them together so that there would no longer be Jim, or Kirk star but no Jim at all. Jim tried to move but nothing happened he felt panic over take him.

"No T'hy'la no I will not hurt you" There was such soft positiveness in that mind voce that Jim posted. He had never heard something like that before his mother detested him for killing his father, his stepfather hated him because he could not break him, and his brother was a stranger. Bones cared and tried to protect Jim but this was different; this was beyond friendship.

In the space of time it took Jim to process, he realized that the blackness had stopped. A second more and he found he could feel what the black was feeling from where they touched. There was a huge amount of protectiveness as though Jim was with more to this being then all riches in the world and as fragile as a strand of glass. There was a sorrow tinge joy that confused him. There was a passiveness that unnerved him and would have made him start fighting if the over feelings good will towards him were not there.

"Were you not informed that the ceremony would start today?" Jim tried again to think at the black something along the lines of 'what the fuck' and he knows that the sentiment if not the words made throw because the being became confused, angry, and frightened. It moved closer to Jim but he did not feel that merging again it was closer to a huge.

"After the distortion everyone was informed of this right. Why would you be neglected?" Jim must have subconsciously expressed his confusion.

"You do not know of the distortion?" There was pain in the blackness and a picture in his mind of a red planet falling to peaces beneath his feet as he raced to what end Jim did not know. Then he recognized the planet and all the emotion pain of failing and watching so many die hit him again an old would that was so deep it will never stop tingling. The black swirled with reminisce and Jim know that it thought it had told him something tactlessly that could hurt him irrevocably. Jim could not allow this he know what happened and that knowledge would not destroy him. So instead of thinking of words he thought of what had happened and tried to send that to the being. There was shock for a moment then an attentive "you know me. I saw myself in that memory. Why do you not speak to me?" Jim sent his frustration at not being able to communicate to him (Jim has decided that it is a him because the voce was deep and soothing). The blackness moved just a twitch.

"May I try to connect to you more full? I believe you siyablitys have been damaged if we connected my abilities should be able to make up the difference." Jim figured that why not for three reasons one he was sure this was a dream two he could not have stop the being if he wanted to and three now that he could feel the others feelings he was sure it did not want to kill him.

"I will go slowly so as not to distress you further." As the blackness moved closer Jim recognized the other mind. "SPOCK".

Note : so thanks must go to my wonderful beta Banbi-V . They are the best ever!!!!!!!