Chapter Six: Stripped

SWEET CHILDHOOD

Why can't we pretend that

We're children who are

Playing with each other,

Not really understanding

What we're doing but it's fun

It feels good and there is

An urgent curiosity to study

Each other's parts. Sweet childhood,

Happy time of innocence, come back

For us, bring back an hour

When everything was gentle and new.

-James Laughlin

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Harry yawned as he and Ron entered the Great Hall. He had tried to calm down Ron the night before, but he knew that he had still gone to bed upset. It had been bad enough in forth year when Ron had seen Hermione with Viktor, but to feel like he was loosing Hermione to his own brother...Harry knew that had to hurt.

Harry heard Ron tossing and turning for hours before he actually fell asleep. Harry knew because he had been awake as well. The time spent with Hermione the night before had made him realize just how much he missed her. Between her own busy schedule since the school year began and his recent decision to try to separate himself from her, he had begun to miss his best friend.

He missed her constant nagging about doing his schoolwork. He missed her laugh when he made a muggle reference that confused everyone but her. He missed her reassurance that everything was going to be okay. And thinking about it, he really just wanted his best friend back.

As Harry and Ron took their seats at the table Harry began to notice the groups of students spread around the Great Hall, whispering and laughing loudly. Just down the table Lavender and Parvarti had their heads bent together giggling quite loudly, occasionally glancing up at himself or Ron. "Do you know what all the whispering is about?" Harry asked.

"No clue." Ron said looking around. It seemed as if everyone was in on it but them. Even the first years seemed to know what was going on.

"Maybe something happened after we left the ball." Harry suggested looking up at the high table; it seemed as if they didn't know what was going on either. But then again, when did the professors know everything that was going on with their students.

The doors to the Great Hall opened and slowly the whispering began to stop as the couple in the doorway made their way further into the room. It was rather obvious to Harry that practically the entire hall was staring at the two. Hermione's pace picked up as she noticed all the attention as well. She took her normal seat across from Harry, George next to her still holding her hand, and looked uncomfortably around. The whispering was starting again, this time much louder.

"What's going on?" Hermione asked quietly leaning across the table.

"We don't know." Harry said.

"We were hoping you could tell us." Ron said, blushing as he glanced between Hermione and Harry. He knew Harry wouldn't say anything, but it was different now that he knew. Somehow it made it more real.

"We just figured something happened at the Ball after we left." Harry said.

"No…Not that I know of." Hermione said glancing around again. A couple of second year boys setting at the Hufflepuff table were watching her. When they noticed her looking, they quickly turned away, busying themselves with their plates. Whatever was being said it had obviously traveled through all the houses and classes hadn't even started yet. This couldn't be good.

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"Guess we should get to potions." Harry said grudgingly. Ron groaned beside him.

"Oh, sound so enthused." Hermione said with a laugh standing up from the table. Something's never changed and she was glad for that.

"It's double potions, Hermione." Ron said, "Do you expect us to sound happy?"

"Well, no" Hermione said, "But you sound as if your walking towards your death."

"You never know what could happen." George told her. "Caldrons are known to blown up unexpectedly."

"Don't encourage them." Hermione said giving him a quick kiss. When she looked up she noticed everyone at the table watching the two of them. The whispers had eventually worn down as everyone ate breakfast, but that didn't mean the looks had.

"Come on Hermione." Harry said nodding his head towards the door, "Let's get to class." He didn't really want to go to potions, but it had to be better then this. At least Snape told you what he was thinking, even when you didn't want him too.

"Are you sure you don't know what's going on?" Hermione asked as they walked towards the dungeons; the students they passed in the hallway seemed just as interested as those eating breakfast. "You're not trying to spare my feelings or anything?"

"Trust me we don't know anything." Ron said. "We're just as confused as you are."

"There's a scary thought." Hermione said with a small smile.

"Hey!" Ron said.

"I didn't mean it like that." Hermione said as they turned the corner. "I just meant that I know how confused I am. I mean they were staring at me right? That wasn't all in my mind?"

"No, they were staring at you." Ron said earning a punch in the arm from Harry. "Ow!"

"I don't think that was the answer she was looking for." Harry told him.

"Its okay Harry, I already knew the answer." Hermione said looking purposefully ahead. She just wished she knew why. She had secrets, she knew she did, but none that would have the whole school talking about her like this.

As the trio neared the door to the potions lab, Hermione noticed that there was already a group of people waiting for Professor Snape to arrive. She also noticed that they were all watching her, some more subtly then others but still staring just the same. Most of them were Slytherins and Hermione kept herself close to the wall, subconsciously moving closer to Harry and Ron, knowing that Slytherins more then anyone else would be likely to say something. She was right.

"Well look who it is." Malfoy said pushing off from the wall. She felt his smirk before she even turned around. "After everything I heard, I thought you would still be in bed." He said looking Hermione up and down. "After all you've had a busy night."

"Shove off Malfoy." Ron said stepping in front of Hermione.

"Oooh…Come to defend her honor, Weasel?" Malfoy asked, "Too bad your brother's the one who took it." Ron's face was instantly red and Hermione could hear the other Slytherins snickering.

"What are you talking about Malfoy?" Hermione asked stepping out from behind Ron. She did not like the way this conversation was going.

"Oh don't even try to deny it, Granger." Malfoy said with a smug smile. "Everyone saw you two at the ball. All close and snugly." He sneered. "And then you and your little boyfriend wandered off into the gardens not to be seen again for hours. Tell me Granger, what exactly were you doing?"

Hermione's face had lost some of its color as she stared Malfoy down. She could hear the other Slytherins snickering. Was that really what the whole school thought had happened? Was that really what they were all talking about?

"Shut your mouth Malfoy." Harry said.

"What's wrong Potter? Upset that she wasn't with you?" he asked, "At least the truths out now, no more hiding behind your books Granger, the whole school knows just how much of whore you are."

Both Harry and Ron made a move to lung at him but Hermione held them back. "Ignore him." Hermione said her voice quivering slightly. "He obviously doesn't know what he's talking about. Not that he ever does." she said turning around.

"Not so fast Granger." Malfoy said grabbing her wrist and pulling her to his chest. Hermione couldn't stop the gasp from escaping her lips at the contact. In the past Malfoy had recoiled at just the thought of her touch, or anyone like hers; he didn't seem to have that problem now. And that scared her. Malfoy had always been predictable in the past, he would insult her, he looked down upon her because of her friends and her family, but she had never considered him threatening before. But he had grown over the summer, making him almost as tall as Ron, and he had gotten stronger as well. She could feel it as his grip tightened on her wrist as he leered down at her.

"Malfoy what are you doing?" she asked, trying to wrench her wrist out of his grasp. His grip didn't loosen no matter how much she struggled.

"Just what I was wondering Miss Granger." Professor Snape's deep voice came from behind Malfoy. He grabbed the back of Malfoy's robes, pulling him away from her. Hermione quickly took a step back, closer to Harry and Ron who she could tell were fuming. "Care to explain Mr. Malfoy?" he asked sneering down at him.

"I was just…talking with Granger." Malfoy said quickly. He obviously hadn't expected his head of house to show up.

"It didn't seem like Miss Granger was all that interested in what you had to say." Professor Snape said looking over at Hermione. She was still holding her wrist and trying to process everything that was happening. If it wasn't bad enough that Malfoy was the one to explain why everyone was whispering about her but for him to grab her, in front of everyone, so unexpectedly…The day had barely started and already she wanted to do nothing more then go back to Gryffindor Tower.

"Ten points from Slytherin for your actions Mr. Malfoy," Professor Snape said releasing Draco's robes as he turned. "Now everyone, into class."

"You okay?" Harry asked as they made their way into the classroom.

"I'm fine." Hermione said finally releasing her own grip on her wrist. "I just…I didn't expect him to do that."

"Yeah, I can't believe Snape took points from his own house." Ron said as they took their seats.

"I think she was talking about Malfoy." Harry said looking up at her. She looked okay, but she was staring off into space, as if she was trying to figure something out. "You sure you're okay?"

"Yeah, yeah I'm fine." Hermione said as she began to take things out of her backpack. "Everything's fine."

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"Miss Granger, stay behind." Professor Snape said as the class began to file out of the room.

"Yes, sir." She said setting her backpack back down on her desk.

"We'll be outside." Ron said nodding towards the open door.

"Its okay, you can go ahead to Transfiguration." Hermione said.

"We'd rather wait." Harry said shooting a suspicious look towards Professor Snape. Hermione knew that he didn't like her working with him, even if it was only one night a week and mostly in silence. She knew that he would like it even less if he found out that he was to start teaching her Occlumency and she would have to spend even more time with him.

"Yes Professor?" Hermione asked after the last students left the classroom.

"I have spoken with the Headmaster and he has agreed to change the day of your teacher aid duties." He said glancing at the open door. It was clear that he couldn't say too much when others might overhear. "Because of our…activities, you will have less energy and will need more time to recover in the beginning. Friday's will make this seem less suspicious. We hope this will mean that the other students will be less aware of your late arrival."

"That would be appreciated." Hermione said. "But what about Professor Lupin?" she asked, making sure that she didn't call him by his first name, "I normally help him on Friday's."

"You will continue working with him, just now on a different day." He said.

"Yes, sir." She said, "Is that all?"

"Yes, you may go." Professor Snape said.

Hermione turned, going back to her workstation to get her things. She had never considered people questioning her whereabouts. Where she was or who she was with, it was no one's business but her own. Of course that hadn't stopped people from gossiping about her whereabouts from the night before. Her hand had unconsciously gone back to her wrist.

"Miss Granger." Professor Snape said snapping her out of her thoughts.

"Yes Professor?" she asked looking up.

"Is your wrist hurt?" he asked.

"What? Oh, no." she said quickly releasing her wrist. "I just…I'm fine. At the most there will just be a bruise and that will fade." She turned and made her way out of the classroom, Professor Snape watching her as she went.

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Harry and Ron hung back, close to the door as Hermione talked with Snape. They weren't sure how long she was going to be, but they didn't want her to have to deal with the Slytherins alone. They were still lingering about and Harry could tell from the malicious look on Malfoy's face that he was waiting around for Hermione.

"You know the dungeons can be very dangerous for Gryffindors." Malfoy said with a smirk. Goyle and Crabbe were on either side of him as he walked closer to where Harry and Ron were standing. "What are you both still doing here? Waiting to walk Granger back? Hoping that you'll both have some alone time with her as well?"

"You prat! Don't talk about her like that." Ron said. He lunged forward, completely forgetting that he had the ability to use a wand, but Harry held him back. Snape's door was still open and if he saw Ron attack Malfoy Harry knew he wouldn't hesitate to deduct points and assign them detention, even if it was provoked. Just because Snape had been unusually nice to Hermione earlier, didn't mean that they would get the same treatment.

"Or maybe even Granger, as low as her standards obviously are, won't have a go at you." Draco said with a laugh.

"I think that's quite enough." A loud voice rang out from behind Malfoy, making him jump.

Harry looked around him to see Remus standing there with a stern look upon his face; he had obviously heard everything that Malfoy had said.

"Five points from Slytherin" Remus said, "Now get to class, before I give you a detention." His tone indicated that there was no choice in the matter and Malfoy and his cronies left.

"Boys." He said nodding at Harry and Ron.

"Thanks professor." Harry said.

"No problem." Remus said with a small smile. "If I was still in school, I would have done much worse, but as a teacher I can get in trouble for that."

"So you've heard too?" Ron asked.

"Heard what?" Hermione asked coming out of the potion's classroom.

"Uhh…" Ron wasn't sure what to say and neither was Harry. They didn't want to have to explain there conversation with Malfoy, and even Remus seemed unsure of what to say to her.

"And why are you down in the dungeons?" Hermione asked Remus. "Shouldn't you be preparing for class?"

"Well I had some free time and just wanted to come and see how you were doing." Remus said. Twenty years her senior and he still felt as young as Harry and Ron when she gave him that look.

"See how I was do….Even the professors know?" she asked taking a step back. The entire student body was talking about her; she didn't know how to deal with that but somehow it was worse that the teachers had heard the talk too. She had been fighting for respect ever since she got here. To think she might loose it over something so trivial, a misunderstanding…it hurt. More then she wanted anyone to know. "That's great…just bloody great."

"Not well then." Remus said.

"I'm fine." She sighed.

"Really?" Harry asked skeptically.

"I'll be fine." Eventually. "I just want to talk to George." She said quietly. "I don't know if he even knows about it yet…"

"But actually it's a god thing that I found you, or you found me really." Hermione said turning to Remus. "Professor Snape wanted to switch teacher's aid nights with you. He's already spoken with the Headmaster, so I'll be helping you out Monday nights now."

"I guess I'll be seeing you tonight then." He said with a smile.

"Yes." She said, still not quite meeting his eyes. She didn't want to see what might be there.

"Well at least now you'll start your week off better." Ron said as they started to make their way out of the dungeons. "Of course you'll have to end it with Snape, which probably isn't much better…."

Harry shook his head at his friend, but he was happy to see that he had made Hermione smile. Even if it was just a small smile.

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Hermione was very glad when classes were over. It was probably the first time that she wanted to get out of classes more then anyone else in the room. But the stares and the whispers were getting to her and no matter how many times she told herself that it didn't matter what anyone else thought or said, it still hurt when someone she had considered a friend laughed at her behind her back.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Ron asked as they climbed the stairs to the Gryffindor common room. He had been asking that all day now.

"I told you I'm fine." She said quietly. It was nice that he cared, but she didn't want to talk about it and she knew that was part of the reason he was asking. She knew that both he and Harry wanted to know what happened, if what being said was true. She didn't want to have to lie to them and explain where she had really been. She had already lied enough about last night.

"Pickleberries." Hermione said as they reached the Fat Lady. She was still looking accusingly at Hermione, reminding her of when Mrs. Weasley was angry at George and Fred, but the portrait swung open anyways.

It seemed as if the half the noise had disappeared as soon as Hermione had stepped into the common room. Fred made a show of talking louder, and Ginny followed his example as she talked with Neville. Others in the common room took the hint and looked away, but some of the others continued to look. Hermione shot a glare at Lavender and Parvarti as George quickly made his way over to her, pulling her to a secluded corner of the common room. Harry and Ron had joined Ginny and Neville, talking slightly louder then normal and trying to block them from the others view.

"I'm sorry." He said quietly.

"George you don't have anything to apologize for." Hermione said. "I was the one who was out late. It's my own fault."

"Yeah, but if I had just gone to bed then no one would have thought anything."

"That's not true." Hermione said putting a hand on his arm. "I doubt it was your roommates who would told anyone anything." She said shooting a nasty glare towards Lavender and Parvarti. There previously loud giggles stopped abruptly and they instantly looked away. They may as well have told Hermione that they were guilty of starting the rumor.

"How'd you find out?" George asked, "I mean, about what everyone was saying."

"Malfoy." She said quietly, "Before potions." She had no desire to tell him just how he had revealed it to her. "What about you?"

"I was on my way to Herbology." He explained. "Some Ravenclaw guy asked…" He looked uncomfortable. "Well, he asked how you were, if you know what I mean…. And well he got black eye and I found out what all the whispers were about."

"You hit him?" she asked her eyes wide.

"If you had heard him you would have hit him too." George defended himself. "Besides maybe it'll make people stop talking about us. They'll be too afraid I'll hit them."

"It'll blow over eventually." She told him, trying to sound positive. "We'll just have to wait it out until it does."

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When Hermione arrived at dinner people were much less subtle about what they were saying about her. Even surrounded with people on her side, she still couldn't help but feel upset. They all could overhear conversations all around them.

"I heard that she spent part of the summer with Viktor Krum. Alone." One of the Slytherin seventh year girls said, as she and her friends walked across the Great Hall. She hadn't even bothered to lower her voice as she passed near their table. "I mean, we can only imagine what they might have been doing. Maybe George wasn't her first. Maybe he wasn't even her second." She said shooting a look towards Harry and Ron.

"How could she possibly know that?" she asked wide-eyed.

"Probably because their parents are the ones who sent the owls to watch you." Ron said crossly.

"Everything's going to be fine." George said moving his hand on her back.

"Easy for you to say." She said angrily, "You get thumps on the back and congratulations. I get called a slut."

"Hermione…" George said slowly.

"I'm sorry." And she was. This wasn't his fault, she knew that. She just wanted someone to blame. And she was tired of being angry with herself. "I'm just tired and…upset. But your right, I shouldn't be taking it out on you." She said forcing a small smile. "I need to go to Professor Lupin's." she said standing up.

"I thought Monday's were your night with Snape?" George asked.

"They switched nights." Hermione said, "Which is probably a good thing, I don't think I'm up for that right now."

"I don't think anyone's ever up to it when it comes to Snape." Ron said getting a laugh from George and Fred.

"I'll see you guys later." Hermione said standing up.

"Wait," Harry said quickly standing up, grabbing Ron's arm. "We'll walk with you."

"Okay…" Hermione said unsure of why they were volunteering. "I'll see you guys later." She said placing a quick kiss on George's cheek. She deliberately ignored everyone's looks as the three of them left the Great Hall.

"You know I can walk by myself." Hermione said, "I mean, not that I mind you coming or anything but…You know you don't have to right? I can take care of myself."

"We know." Harry said.

"Then why the sudden urge to come with me?" Hermione asked. "I'd understand if it was Professor Snape, but this is Remus."

"That's not really why we wanted to come." Harry said.

"Really?"

"Yeah, we were…I mean we were wondering….about…" Harry wasn't quite sure how to word the question.

"About where you were last night." Ron finished for him. "I mean we believe you about George. That nothing happened…we just wondered…"

"If you weren't with George, where were you?" Harry asked. Hermione had been prepared for this. She had spent most of her time in the library when she should have been at lunch thinking of an answer to this question.

"Look I don't know for sure why George wasn't in his bed," Hermione explained, "But after the ball I went last minute to the library to research something for Professor Snape that I had forgotten about. If I had realized that I didn't have to see him tonight then I wouldn't have bothered, but I did. And I didn't realize just how tired I was and I feel asleep before I even finished. When I woke up I went straight back to the common room. George was asleep on the couch; I think he had tried to wait up for me. I woke him up and he went to his room and then I went up to my own. That was it. I promise."

"It's not like you to fall asleep in the library." Ron pointed out.

"I was just tired." She told him defensively. "It was after the ball. I had gotten up early and I was tired and I fell asleep. It's not that unusual really."

"You're tired a lot lately." Harry pointed out.

"What are you talking about?" she asked suddenly angry, "I'm fine."

"Oh come off it, Hermione." Harry said, "You're always guzzling down the coffee lately. We keep catching you staring out the windows and zoning out in class, something you never did before. If something's wrong you should tell us. You can trust us, you know that right?"

"Of course I do." Hermione said quietly. She was glad that Remus's classroom was so close now; it hurt to lie to them when they were trying so hard to be understanding. "But I don't know what to tell you. I admit I've had a few bad nights of sleep lately, but that's it. Don't make more of it then it is."

She gave them what she hoped wasn't a shaky smile and walked into Remus's classroom, quickly shutting the door behind her. She leaned against it for a moment, closing her eyes and taking a deep breath, fighting the urge to go back and tell Harry everything. He had looked her so caringly and she had lied straight to his face, barely batting an eyelash. That hurt more then any rumor ever had.

"Are you alright?" she heard Remus ask. She opened her eyes to see him watching her from across the room.

"I'm fine." She said forcing a smile. "Just a little tired."

"If you're tired, you don't have to say." Remus told her, stepping a little closer. "I'd understand."

"No, I'm fine." She said shaking her head. "Besides I'd much rather be here then in the common room right now."

"Unfortunately Hogwarts isn't known for its lack of gossip." He said.

"I always knew that." Hermione said with a small smile, "I guess I just never thought that I would be worthy of their discussion."

"I'm sure things will get better soon." Remus said putting a comforting hand on her shoulder.

"I hope so too." Hermione said. She wasn't talking about the rumors.

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"Don't you think that it was just a little bit suspicious?" Harry asked as he pulled off his shirt. Neville was already in bed so they had to speak quietly but because of his snores they knew that they wouldn't be overheard. And even if he did hear anything, Harry knew Neville wouldn't tell anyone.

"What exactly was suspicious Harry?" Ron asked as he buttoned up his own pajamas. "The part where she said she trusted us or the part where she said that she had been having trouble sleeping?"

"Neither, that's not what I'm saying—"

"Harry she was being honest with us. I don't know why you're making such a big deal. Do you want her to have been with George?"

"No! I just—"

"Then why are you trying to make something out of nothing?" Ron asked with a huff. He saw no reason not to trust Hermione. She had never lied to him before. And her falling asleep in the library was certainly better then her being off alone with George. It certainly seemed more like her. "Can we just drop it?" Ron asked him. "It's bad enough that the whole schools attacking her. Do you really think that she needs us questioning her too?"

"No, I guess not." Harry said setting down on his bed. But Harry knew something was off. He had seen it in her eyes when she told him that he didn't need to worry. There was a flicker of guilt when she realized how much he had been paying attention to her.

If only knew what it was she was hiding. Had she really been with George and she was just too embarrassed to tell them? Or was it something else? Was it just another thing to add to the list of things being kept from him?

He suddenly felt the urge to shout at Hermione. To yell at her until she told him whatever it was she was keeping from him. To make her see that keeping secrets only led to bad things. To remind her that it was keeping secrets that had led to Sirius's death.

But there was another part of him that just wanted to hug her. To keep her near him so that he knew that she was safe. He didn't want his nightmares to come true just as much as Hermione was scared hers would.

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Hermione made her way quietly thought the corridors as she walked towards Gryffindor Tower. Madame Pomfrey had been surprisingly quiet as she received her dreamless sleep potion. She had made sure that Hermione knew the risks of taking large amounts of the potion and that she wasn't to take it before she was back in her room, ready for bed. She had said little else, just watching her with pity-filled eyes as she left the hospital wing. However, Hermione was unsure if she was looking at her like that because of her need for the potion or because of the rumors. She wasn't sure that she wanted to know.

She stopped in front of the Fat Lady who was giggling with the woman in the portrait next to her. Whatever she was about to say died on the portraits lips as soon as she spotted Hermione. She had a sinking feeling that it was about her. "Finally decided to show up before curfew, have we." She said looking down at Hermione.

"Pickleberries." Hermione said ignoring her. She was tired of people talking her. She was tired of people acting like it didn't hurt her when then did. She was tired and now with the vial in her robe pocket she could finally get some peace.

The portrait swung open and Hermione climbed through into the common-room. Several people were still awake, but seemed kind enough not to say anything to her. She figured that it had something to do with the fact that Ginny was one of them. She had heard that Ginny had threatened to hex anyone she had heard talking about Hermione and her brother. And she knew for a fact that both George and Fred had already hexed several students who had questioned them both, not being able to tell the two apart. She herself had to hold Ron and Harry back several times and fight off the urge to get even herself.

She gave Ginny a quick wave, sending her a grateful smile and made her way up to the sixth year girl dorms. Lavender and Parvarti were still awake and she stifled a groan at the sight of them.

"Hi Hermione, been out late again?" Lavender asked causing Parvarti to giggle.

"I was just helping Professor Lupin." Hermione said pulling her nightgown out of her trunk.

"And George wasn't jealous?" Parvarti asked.

"No, not that I know of." Hermione said through her teeth. Lavender and Parvarti were hard to deal with at times when she was in her best of moods. She really didn't want to have to deal with them right now. "But it's not as if I was there for fun." She said, "I was helping him grade papers and plan lessons."

"Still…if I was in your position, I think I'd want to spend all my free time with George." Lavender said.

"He is awfully cute." Parvarti said.

"I'll be sure to tell him you think so." Hermione said as she piled her dirty clothes for the house-elves to take away. She never left it scattered around the room like Lavender did, she didn't want to have to make the house-elves work to find it.

"Now if you'll excuse me, I'd like to go to bed." She said pulling the curtains around her bed. She could no longer hear what they were saying, as she had placed a silencing spell on the curtains a long time ago, but she knew that they were talking about her. They wouldn't care that she could hear them, they never did.

But at the moment Hermione didn't care. She looked down at the vial in her hands and felt relief. She was finally able to be at peace at night and even Lavender and Parvarti couldn't bring her down from that high. Hermione drank down the vial, ignoring the taste, and laid back down. She was asleep within minutes and for the second time in months, she wasn't awoken by nightmares.

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Over the next few days Harry watched Hermione carefully, trying to figure out for himself what was wrong. But it seemed as if the more he watched her, the more she started acting more like herself. She was less spacey; she paid more attention in class, and seemed happier as she discussed class work with him and Ron. She still cringed when she heard someone talking abut her and George, she had even hexed several Slytherin fourth years when she heard them talking about her, but those times when she wasn't thinking about what people were saying about her, she seemed different. Like a weight had been lifted from her shoulders, he just didn't know what.

He tried to discuss it with Ron again, but he hadn't wanted to talk to him about it. Harry could tell that part of the reason was because he thought he was going to bring up his feelings about Hermione. It was harder now that they were out in the open. Harry had always known about them, he was pretty sure he realized Ron liked her long before Ron realized he did, but it had been an unspoken agreement to never mention it before. Ron now feared that that agreement had been broken.

"Hermione you haven't touched your dinner." Ginny said from across from her.

"I'm not really that hungry." Hermione said forcing down a bite of chicken.

"Are you sure your alright?' Harry asked. While she had been calm and happy the last few days, as the day progressed she seemed to get more anxious and jumpy but Harry didn't know why. It was a sudden change that they all had noticed, even Ron had mentioned it.

"I'm fine." Hermione said waving her hand dismissively. "My stomach's just been a little upset today."

"Cramps?" Ginny asked causing Harry, Ron, and George to blush and to look away.

"Something like that." Hermione said sharing a smile with Ginny. If there was one way to get them to shut up it was to mention that. Ron instantly turned red and Harry always went quiet, unsure of what to say.

In truth, Hermione was fine. While her stomach did hurt, it was her nerves behind it, nothing else. Tonight was to be her first lesson with Professor Snape and she was incredibly anxious. Hermione didn't want anyone poking around in her head, especially Professor Snape. She had tried to ask Harry about the lessons he had had with Professor Snape, but she had trouble coming up with a subtle way to ask him and she didn't have the nerve to ask him upfront, afraid of what he might ask. She had read every book that she could find in the library, but that had only added to her nervousness. They had described how brutal it could be to have someone force there way into your head and how hard of a skill it was to master. She feared that she would not be up to the task and that she would fail miserably.

"Can we change the subject please?" Ron asked still looking uncomfortable.

"Fine with me." Hermione said shoving her plate away. "I have to go anyways."

"Isn't it early for your teacher aid duties?" George asked.

"Yeah, but you know it takes longer to get down to the dungeons then it does Remus's." she said standing up, "And I don't want to make Professor Snape angry by being late."

"I'd walk you, but I have detention." George told her.

"What did you do to get detention….No never mind. I don't want to know." Hermione said.

"I'll walk with you." Harry said quickly standing up as well. He had been looking for an opportunity to talk to her alone, but it seemed like George was almost always around her now. He had found out about what happened with Malfoy in the hallway and had barely left her side since. Harry couldn't blame him, he didn't want her left alone either, but it made talking to her much harder.

"Okay." Hermione said. She had resigned to the fact that the boys didn't trust her to walk anywhere alone anymore.

"So what exactly do you do when you're helping Snape?" Harry asked.

"Well normally he has me keeping a running inventory, so he knows when he has to know when he needs to order more ingredients." She explained, choosing her words carefully. Technically she wasn't lying. That was what she had done in the past.

"Is that all?" Harry asked.

"Well, no." Hermione said. "All the teachers have me doing different things. He's let me help him brew potions a few times. That was fun." She glanced over to see Harry looking at her oddly. "What?" she asked.

"It's just….Fun? With Snape?"

"It's not fun because I'm with him." Hermione explained, "I just like what I'm doing. Last month he even let me help him with the Wolfsbane Potion. You wouldn't believe the amount of work that goes into it."

"Can we change the subject?" Harry asked. "Because all this talk about Snape is making my skin craw."

"Professor Snape isn't that bad Harry." She told him, "You just have to get used to his style of teaching. Surely you learned that during occlumency last year." She said glancing over at him quickly. He didn't seem to have noticed her stumble over her words.

"Oh yeah, because that ended so well." Harry said rolling his eyes, trying to squash down the guilt he always felt whenever he remembered his failure to learn occlumency when he had the chance. He only hoped that it didn't come back to haunt him even more then it already was. "Having him force himself into mind and then taunt with what he saw, that's a definite way to improve teacher and student relations."

Hermione remained quiet, quickly looking away. She had hoped to get some insight about what to expect tonight. Instead she had upset Harry, dragging bad memories to the forefront of both of their minds, and in the process only made herself more uneasy about tonight's lessons.

"Sorry Hermione." Harry said quietly. "I didn't mean to snap."

"Not a problem." Hermione said smiling at him. He couldn't help but grin back at his friend.

----------------------------

"Bye Harry." Hermione said entering the classroom. Professor Snape was already waiting at his desk for her as she shut the door from behind her.

"Good evening Professor Snape." Hermione said. She received a nod in response as he continued to grade papers. She sat down in the front row and waited for him to finish quietly. She had learned her lesson about interrupting him.

After a few minutes he put down his papers and looked up at her. "Are you prepared for this evening's lessons?" he asked her.

"Yes sir." She said quietly. Truthfully, she didn't think she was. She didn't think she'd ever be prepared for something like this.

"I'm sure that you have already read all the books in the library pertaining to the subject." Professor Snape said and she hoped that in the dim light of the dungeons he couldn't see her blush. "But you need to understand that Occlumency is an extremely difficult thing to learn and it will take more time and dedication than you normally put into things."

She nodded her head but didn't say anything.

"I'm not sure what Mr. Potter may have told you about our lessons last year but I can assure you that ours will be different. For one thing Potter had a very different connection with the Dark Lord and he had less control over what he did and didn't see. However he had a bad worth ethic and failed miserably at controlling any aspect of it. I should hope that you do better."

"Yes, sir." She said through gritted teeth. She much preferred the silence that they normally worked in then this.

"The purpose of these lessons is not only to prevent others from entering your mind, but to hopefully learn more about your dreams and there cause." He explained. "In these lessons I will attempt to enter your mind and search for connected thoughts. Do not allow me access to those memories by any means necessary, do you understand?"

"Yes, sir." She explained trying to process everything that he had just said.

"For now we will just focus on you breaking the connection. Once I believe that you are at an acceptable place in doing that, we will move on. Do you have any brief questions Miss Granger?"

"No sir, not at the moment." She said.

"Good. There is no way to prepare for this other than to simply clear your mind. It is not easy task, but I promise you that despite what Mr. Potter may have said, it is not that difficult when you actually listen and do what I say."

"Yes sir." She repeated.

"Are you ready?" he asked.

"As ready as I'll ever be." She mumbled standing up. Professor Snape stood directly across from her his wand arm raised slightly.

"What was that Miss Granger?" he asked.

"I said yes, sir." She lied.

"Good. Clear your mind."

Hermione closed her eyes and tried to push everything out of her mind, concentrating at nothing at all. She opened her eyes for just a moment to see Professor Snape sneering down at her, before he raised his wand. She heard him call out "Legilimens!" before she felt him force himself into her mind.

She heard a whisper of a word, though she didn't know what it was, and the room began to spin until she was back in the girl's bathroom in first year. She was crying alone in the stall, wishing for someone to find her and tell her that it was okay. And then she was in the sixth year bath, after everything that happened in Hogsmeade, wanting the exact same thing. But knowing even if she got it, it wouldn't make any difference. She wouldn't believe them.

Then with another swirl the bathroom transformed into Grimmauld Place, as she flinched at the portrait of Sirius's mother called her foul names. The scene changed and she was back in the dungeons, for a brief moment thinking that it was all over, but there were others around her looking between her and Professor Snape. "I don't remember asking you to show off, Miss Granger." She could feel her cheek ignite as the other students snickered around her.

She didn't want him to see this. She didn't want him to know how much simple words could hurt her. But the images kept coming. Ron's many insults over the years, Mrs. Weasley's disappointment at her relationship with George, Remus's not being able to meet her eyes after hearing the rumors about her and George, and then Malfoy leering down at her, and she was angry again. Angry, at all those who had hurt her, and angry with Snape for making her relive them again. She had a brief image of slapping Malfoy in third year and lighting Snape's cloak on fire in first and felt happiness at the thought of hurting them back, however briefly, before she felt Snape leave her mind.

She was on her knees in front of him, clutching her head in pain. She vaguely noticed that he had staggered a few steps back and was watching her carefully. She didn't make a move to get up, as her head was still killing her, but she looked away.

"That was….that was good Miss Granger." Professor Snape said as he looked down at her. "You showed me the images you wanted me to see, not allowing me to choose them on my own. For your first attempt that was…acceptable. Shall we try again?"

"Yes, sir." She said standing back up. She closed her eyes, and tried to clear her mind again. This time it was much harder. Everything that she had seen was still running through her mind. That had hurt, much more then she thought it would.

"Legilimens!" he called. And she was twelve years old again and lying to her parents carefully avoiding their gaze. She couldn't tell them what had really happened. They would never let her go back. And then she was hiding her time turner in her robes, telling Ron that she had been there all along…She was in Snape's personal stores trying to find the proper potion ingredients for Polyjuice potion…. She was back at the Summer Cottage, outside with George. He was holding her hand and caressing her face. And then Viktor took his place as the room changed around them. And it was Viktor who kissed her instead of George, and this time she didn't push him away. Then she was falling, the world spinning around her as George called out for her, catching her in his arms. And she was back in her dreams, Deatheaters watching her, grabbing her from all directions as she screamed. There was a cold laugh and then it was all gone. She was staring at the dungeon floor, on her hands and knees. She knew she hadn't been able to force him out of her mind this time. She hadn't even had the chance to try before he had left on his own.

"What was that Miss Granger?" he drawled.

"What do you mean?" she asked looking up at him.

"That last memory, the men in robes."

"You mean the Deatheaters?" Hermione asked pushing herself up off the ground. "It was a dream. But there not like that anymore, they changed…"

"But that's how they were originally?" He asked her.

"Yes." She said.

"I think that is enough for tonight." He told her, still staring at her oddly. "Your first attempts have gone well."

"But I never—"

"Why don't you start on the inventory for this week." He said. "You'll have time."

"Yes sir." She said turning to go towards the cupboard.

"And I will be checking your pockets before you go." He called after her.

---------------------------------

Hermione was thoroughly embarrassed as she walked back from Snape's office. He hadn't been joking before, he had made her turn out her pockets before she could leave and had even cast several spells to make sure she hadn't hidden anything else anywhere on her body. It had been humiliating, especially because she knew that hadn't been the only thing he had seen. She was dreading the day that he moved on from that memory and onto another.

She also couldn't help but wonder what he had seen in her dreams that had made him stop. What was it that had caused that look in his eyes? That look that almost appeared as concern for her.

Somewhere between telling her friends lies, she had began to believe them herself. Without being plagued by dreams every night she had allowed herself to believe that everything was going to be okay, that maybe she really had been making too much over nothing. That look had sent all her hopes shattering to the ground. Because when Severus Snape of all people looked at you like that, you knew something was wrong.

Hermione entered the common room feeling physically and emotionally drained. Her knees throbbed as well from the dungeon floors and she was sure that she would have a bruise tomorrow. Her normal routine had taken more time then normal, her mind being elsewhere, and she had often had to redo her work. Snape hadn't made any comments about it, but even that hadn't been a comforting thought to her because she knew what it meant. Her mind ached from all the possible scenarios going round and round in her head.

Hermione was halfway across the room when she heard a noise behind her. Wand in had, she turned slowly expecting the worst. Instead of the attack she had expected, she saw not one, but two red headed and one dark haired boy. Rolling her eyes at her friends and their over protective behavior she turned back around and went upstairs. As much as she liked knowing that they were there, that they would always look out for her, she wanted them to realize that she didn't always need them to be. That she could look out for herself and didn't need to be protected from everything. A night sleeping on the couch hopefully allow them realize that.

She fell into a restless sleep that night, no dreamless sleep potion to chase the nightmares away. Her nightmares and memories intertwining she screamed out into the night but because of her silencing ward, no one could hear her.

A/N: Sorry this took so long to get out! I kept meaning to work on all my stories, I just never had the time. But here it is. I'm not completely happy with it, it came out a lot different then I thought it would in places, but I wanted to get this out while I can. Hopefully I'll be able to get the next chapter out much sooner.

Sorry about any spelling, grammar, or other errors. I don't have a beta for this story and as I've stated many times before that's just not my thing. Though I did try to go through this chapter several times, so hopefully I caught most of my mistakes.

Thank you so much to all my reviewers. You're so incredibly nice. I try to respond to everyone but if I miss someone I'm sorry, and I can't respond to anonymous reviewers but I love getting reviews from you as well. Speaking of which (shameless plug)….Please review! I love hearing what you guys think of the story and I love to hear ideas from my readers. I've been known to incorporate things into the story. So please push the little button!