Silent Screams

by Hopelessly Pessimistic

Every time she fell asleep she could see it. Horrors calling her name, darkness she could never imagine. Never allowing her a decent night sleep. Never allowing her to forget. She wanted to tell Harry. She wanted to tell Ron. But she wouldn’t, she never d

11. Chapter Ten: Descending Darkness

Chapter Ten:

Descending Darkness

"I can feel the night beginning

Separate me from the living

Understand me

After all I've seen

Piecing every thought together

Find the words to make me better

If I only knew

How to pull myself apart"

--All that I'm Living For by Evanescence

Hermione smiled softly at Harry and Ron as she watched them playing chess across from her. She had spent the entire morning with them and she was sure that she had them convinced that she was feeling better. And she did feel a little better. When it was just the three of them, when she could convince herself that nothing had changed, when things seemed normal, everything was better. It felt right to be out of Mr. and Mrs. Weasley's room. It felt right to be with Harry and Ron. But it felt wrong to lie to them. It felt wrong to start pretending again.

After the attack, everything had been terrible, everything had felt wrong. She couldn't stand to be around anyone but she hated to be alone. Everything was confusing and she had just felt very lost. Like the Death Eaters had taken something from her in the forest. But she had also felt a weight lifted from her. Alone in the Weasley's bedroom, she didn't have to pretend that she was okay. She didn't have to lie or force herself to be happy. And while she knew that wallowing in self-pitying and replaying what happened in the forest was not the way to get better, to start feeling like herself again, it gave her an excuse to finally let all of her feelings out. It gave her an outlet. It allowed her to cling to Harry, to hold onto Remus, without them questioning her. It had been nice to be held. It had been nice to be comforted.

She had pushed them away when she realized how much she had been depending on them. She knew what she was doing wasn't going to help anyone, so she tried to give herself time to become herself again. As sad and hurt as she was, she had been trying to pick up the pieces and fix herself. It just wasn't going as well as she had hoped. Every time that she had started to feel better, she was reminded of the attack, she reminded of everything that could happen. Her dreams had haunted her, had forced her to acknowledge the what-ifs and left her fearing what could happen if she went outside again. And as much as she wanted to get better, as much as she wanted to leave that room, she had been too scared to. She hadn't been able to make herself.

Now she was back to pretending again. And while she knew it was necessary and she knew that she was doing it for Harry, she wished that there wasn't a reason to keep pretending, that Dumbledore hadn't asked her to fall back into that role. Because as much as she wanted to be strong for Harry, she wanted the time she should have had to become strong again, instead of just pretending to be.

Grabbing a piece of stationary from her trunk, Hermione shoved those thoughts aside as she settled down on her own bed. She had told Mrs. Weasley that she thought she would be alright to move back to her room with Tonks now. Everyone seemed quite pleased with her progress. While everyone was surprised, they had all told her how good they thought she was doing and how glad they were to see her downstairs. She hadn't realized how much she had worried everyone. It made her feel even guiltier.

Dipping her quill into ink, Hermione began writing to her parents. They weren't aware of what had happened, Dumbledore thought it was best that they remain worry free and unaware of the situation and Hermione had agreed. She had very rarely told them everything that had happened at Hogwarts over the years. They had been notified last year after everything that had happened in the Department of Mysteries and Hermione had seen how much it had shaken them. It had taken her days to convince them that she was okay and that she was safe. And when they had finally started to believe her the Headmaster had shown up to tell them that Hermione needed to leave again. She didn't want them to worry anymore then they had too. So, she wrote to them saying that everything at the Burrow was wonderful and that she had really enjoyed Christmas and that she loved the presents that they had sent her. She explained that she had been sick but she was feeling better now, and that she was sorry that she hadn't written to them more over the holidays.

"You're lying to them." Harry's voice came.

Hermione's head snapped up and she turned to see Harry standing next to her looking over her letter. He and Ron had obviously finished their game. Looking at him, he seemed almost disappointed in her because of what she was writing. She hated to see that look in his eyes.

"They don't know about everything that happened, Harry." Hermione said quietly. "I don't want to worry them."

"But their your parents." Harry said.

"If I told them everything that happened over the last five years, they would have never let me go back to Hogwarts." Hermione told him. "Trust me, its better this way. Dumbledore agrees."

"Hermione"

"Harry, this isn't your decision to make." Hermione said. "I understand what you're saying and maybe one day I will tell them everything that has happened, but not today. They deserve to have a life without constant worry. We all do. But in this case, they can actually have it."

"I guess I understand." Harry said nodding his head. He knew where she was coming from. He had told many people that he was fine, when he wasn't because he didn't want them to worry. He had told Hermione that nothing was wrong because he knew what the truth would do to her. But lying to her parents, not telling them about something so horrible that had happened to their own daughter, it seemed wrong to him. No matter what the reason.

Signing her name to her parents' letter, Hermione set it to the side and picked up another piece of stationary. It had been a Christmas gift from Viktor; she thought that it might have been a hint to write more to him. They had grown closer over the summer, spending so much time together because she hadn't been able to leave the house. But with school and George and her friends, she hadn't had much time to write to him. She also knew that George didn't like her talking about him or to him, so she let the letters become less frequent. Now she wouldn't have that problem. It was nice though, that as she wrote to him she didn't have to lie. She didn't tell him everything that had happened; she barely even mentioned the attack. But she did tell him that she didn't quite feel like herself anymore, that she felt different somehow. She didn't have to protect him. She didn't have to prove to him how strong she could be. It was somehow easier to allow Viktor, who was hundreds of miles away playing quidditch, who had his own problems that did not involve Voldemort, to worry about her.

--

As the holiday continued, Hermione spent more and more time with Harry and Ron and the rest of the family. Mrs. Weasley had started asking her to help with dinner again, she spent all day with Harry and Ron and she was spending more time with the entire family.

Harry seemed genuinely happy to be doing things with her and Hermione forced herself to be happy for him. And when she was around him, she was happy. The nightmares still came, the fears were still there, as were the memories, but when she was with Harry she could remember the comfort she felt in his arms as she had cried, she remembered him telling her that he was there for her. She wasn't better, but in certain ways she was happier.

She still flinched whenever someone surprised her, when they touched her. She still felt nervous whenever she went outside or when she thought there were too many people in one room. But with Harry and Ron, things seemed different. They could make her smile real smiles. They made her laugh real laughs. She hadn't realized how much she had missed her friends, how much she depended on them. And depending on someone that much, feeling that way, it scared her but it also comforted her.

She had felt very alone in Mr. and Mrs. Weasley's bedroom. But when Harry had come in and just stayed with her, she hadn't felt alone. And now, as she spent so much time with Harry and Ron, the loneliness that always settled in at night wasn't so strong.

--

Harry had agreed to play exploding snap with Ron, but his head wasn't really in it. His thoughts kept straying to Hermione. He was glad that she was out of her room and that she had finally overcome whatever it was that kept her in there. She was getting better, he could tell. She seemed happier and she seemed to enjoy spending time with them again. She still read too much and still pestered them about completing their schoolwork before the break was over. And when it was just him and Ron, she seemed to let her guard down. She was almost the same Hermione.

But he had noticed that her smile was different and she still wasn't comfortable with anyone touching her unexpectedly. The other day he had poked his head into her room without knocking and she flinched so violently that she had run into her night stand. He could tell that she was pushing herself forward, but it seemed like for every step she took she was nowhere near where she wanted to be.

"Harry? Ron?" Remus said knocking on the door to their room, causing both boys to look up at him. "Is it okay if we talk to you?"

Harry saw Hermione peek into the room behind Remus. At least this explained where Hermione had wandered off too.

"'course Remus." Harry said glad to have a reason to stop the game.

Remus and Hermione came into the room, sitting down on the bed across from Harry and Ron. Hermione looked at Remus hoping he'd take the hint to start the conversation. He smiled encouragingly at her, before looking back at the boys.

"I wanted to talk to you about when you get back to Hogwarts." He told them. "I spoke with Hermione before and she agrees with the Order's decision."

"The Order's decision about what?" Ron asked.

"When we get back to school, they don't want us to talk about what happened." Hermione explained. "About the attack."

"Voldemort will want to know about how your reactions to the attack, about how well everyone is handling it." Remus said, "The Order believes that it's best to give him as few clues as possible. We know that the attack was very hard on everyone, it frightened all of us, myself included. We know that you aren't going to be able to just forget it, but we ask that you just try not to talk about it where others can hear. Even around people you trust."

"I already agreed." Hermione said quietly. "I don't want them or anyone else to know how much they scared me."

"I won't say anything." Ron quickly agreed. Hermione smiled gratefully at him and he couldn't help but smile back. He was just happy to be getting Hermione back, right now he do just about anything for her.

Harry took a little longer to answer but agreed as well. Sometimes it felt like the adults were trying to pretend that the attack hadn't happened. As though if they all pretended hard enough, then maybe it really wouldn't have happened. As much as Harry wished that it never happened, as terrible as it was to think about, Harry knew that it had happened. And sometimes he felt like the only one willing to acknowledge it. Just like sometimes he felt like him and Ron were the only ones that could tell the difference between how Hermione was now and who she used to be.

"More than likely, some of the Slytherins will make some unkind comments. Especially Draco Malfoy, since we know that his father was involved." Remus continued. Harry couldn't help but notice Hermione stiffen at the mention of Malfoy's name. He knew that dealing with Malfoy would be even harder for her now.

"They will more than likely try to provoke you." Remus said. "I know it will be difficult for all of you but we need you to be prepared for it and try your best to ignore it."

"Why do we have to ignore it?" Harry asked. "How do we know that they won't just tell everyone what happened themselves?

"Yeah, maybe a good hex or two will convince them to keep their mouths shut." Ron said.

"I can deal with the Slytherins knowing." Hermione said, "I don't like it but I can deal with because I know I don't have a choice. But I don't want the whole school to know. I don't want to have to deal with that too."

Harry could see how important this was to Hermione; he could hear it in her voice. After everything that had happened, he wanted her to know that he was on her side. He wanted her to know that whatever she needed, he would give her. "Alright" Harry said, "I can't promise not to react if Malfoy says something horrible, sometimes I hex before I think, but I promise to try not to."

"Same here." Ron agreed.

Hermione smiled at the two boys, glad that they had agreed. It made her feel better about going back to Hogwarts. It made her feel like there was a chance of everything going back to normal when the returned to Hogwarts. She knew things were far from perfect, but she was glad that her friends were willing to do this for her. It was one thing that she wouldn't have to worry about.

--

"You almost ready?" Hermione asked coming into Ron's room. Harry was still shoving last minute items into his trunk and Ron was running around downstairs collecting things as well.

"Almost." Harry said shoving the sweater Mrs. Weasley had knitted him for Christmas into the trunk. He always forgot to leave room for presents when he packed his trunk before the Christmas holiday. There never seemed to be enough room.

"I can help you shrink some things if you need me to." Hermione said smiling at him.

"I think I got it." Harry said pushing down on all his clothes. Good thing he didn't have anything breakable in there. "You packed already?" he asked her.

"I was packed last night." Hermione told him sitting down on Ron's bed.

"I always mean to do that but Ron and I always get distracted." Harry said, shaking his head.

"You mean you and Ron always find better things to do." Hermione said smiling at him. Harry shrugged his shoulders, a smile tugging at his lips as well, as he continued to pack.

"So, are you happy to be going back to Hogwarts?" she asked him.

"Well, I'm not exactly looking forward to the loads of homework there always seems to be, but yeah I guess I am." He told her, shoving his last present into his trunk. "What about you?"

"Well I'm certainly looking forward to not being stared at all the time." Hermione said rolling her eyes.

"Hermione…"

"Don't worry I'm not talking about you Harry. Or surprisingly Ron either." She said, "I just…I don't know, sometimes I feel like Mrs. Weasley is watching my every move. Tonks too, and I know that that's what she's here for, Tonks I mean, but it's just disconcerting. You know what I'm saying, right?"

"Trust me, Hermione, if anyone knows what it's like to have people watching you all the time, it's me." Harry said, sitting down beside her.

"I'm glad you get it." Hermione said. "I've been feeling kind of guilty about finding their concern annoying. I know that they mean well, I just…sometimes it would be nice to be able to forget. And knowing why everyone is staring at me, makes it really hard to be able to….I'm sorry, I probably sound ridiculous." Hermione said shaking her head. She hadn't meant to tell him all that.

"No, you just sound normal." Harry told her. "There's nothing wrong with being normal."

Hermione smiled at him and stood up as Ron entered the room, his arms full of freshly washed clothes. She was glad that Harry didn't think she was being ridiculous, it was nice to know that she wasn't horrible for feeling the way she did. Because she loved Mrs. Weasley, she loved Tonks, and she was happy that they cared enough about her to make sure that she was okay. It was nice though, to know that her feelings were normal, or as close to normal as any of them could get.

But then, she wasn't supposed to be normal. She was supposed to be better now. She was supposed to be happy and not notice things like Mrs. Weasley staring at her with concern. For Harry's sake. For everyone's peace of mind but own. She wished that it was easier to be happy, that you could truly force yourself to be happy, but you couldn't. So she'd just have to keep faking it.

"I'll see you guys downstairs." Hermione told them. "Don't take too long, Ronald, you know how your mum gets."

"Yeah, I do." Ron said dropping his clothes into his trunk. He didn't even try to fold them. "I just have to shove all my stuff in."

Hermione shook her head at him before turning to leave. She was half the way down the hall when she heard his swear. "Bugger, I should have had her shrink them for me before she left." Harry's laughter followed shortly after.

--

As Hermione crossed through the barrier she was suddenly aware of everything around her. It was as though she could hear everyone talking, as though every time someone moved closer to her she could feel them. She felt as though she was surrounded, like there were people closing in on her. It took everything in her power not to run away screaming.

Everywhere she looked she saw malicious glints in people eyes. She saw opportunities for people to get to her, to grab her before anyone else realized what was happening. She saw people's wands and all she could think of was the horrible spells that they could cast if they wanted to. She felt panicked and she knew that she was being unreasonable. She knew that she was not alone. She knew that the Order was here to protect them. But somehow that wasn't comforting. The air was too warm, her pulse was racing and she could practically hear her heart thumping much too fast. And no matter what she told herself, she couldn't calm herself down.

As they neared the train, Hermione moved herself closer to Harry, her hand gripping her wand tightly, preparing herself for anything that might happen.

"I feel like the holiday went by much too fast." Mrs. Weasley said as she hugged Ginny closely.

"I wish that you all could stay longer." She said releasing Ginny and pulling Hermione into a hug. Hermione hated it. She hated it whenever someone touched her since the attack. Every time someone put a hand on her shoulder, she felt the men who had grabbed her. Every time people came into a room unexpectedly she saw cloaked figures coming out from forest. Every time someone got too close, she could hear Lucius Malfoy whispering in her ear, his words echoing in her mind. And she hated it. She hated them for what they did to her, for what they took from her, for making her feel this way. And she hated herself for being so weak, for letting them get to her.

Mrs. Weasley released Hermione from her hug, but moved her arms up to her shoulders, holding her in place. Hermione wanted desperately to push her hands away, but she held still, smiling as much as she could at the woman.

"I just wanted to apologize again, Hermione." Mrs. Weasley told her. "I wasn't very kind to you when you first got to the Burrow. I was just upset for my son, but I know that it wasn't place and I'm sorry."

"Mrs. Weasley, I already told you that it was okay." Hermione said taking a step backwards so that she had to drop her arms. She hoped that no one noticed what she was doing. "You don't need to apologize again." She smiled at her again, before hurrying on to the train and into the first empty compartment she could find.

It was much quieter on the train but she could still hear the other students outside on the platform, laughing and saying goodbye to their families. She wished that they would all just get on the train so that they could leave. She would feel better once they were on their way. At least she hoped.

--

Harry and Ron found her in the compartment a few minutes later. Ron shoved his things into the compartment overhead, before taking the seat across from her. Harry put his things overhead next, brushing his legs up against Hermione's knees. She couldn't help but notice when it was him, it didn't seem to bother her so much. She didn't feel the need to pull away like she had with Mrs. Weasley, like she did with everyone.

"You okay?" Harry asked looking down at her.

"I'm fine." She said smiling at him. While the words were a lie, the smile was genuine. It was nice to not be scared of someone's touch for once.

"Just checking." He said taking the seat next to her.

The train started moving a few minutes later and Hermione watched out the window as the platform slowly started to pass them by. She could see Mr. and Mrs. Weasley's red hair shining brightly as they waved goodbye to them. She could see other parents waving to their children as well and it made her miss her own parents. She couldn't wait until she got to see them again.

The train began to pick up speed and Hermione looked away before she began to get dizzy. From the corner of her eye there was a flash of bright blonde hair and Hermione whipped back around. The train was moving too fast and she couldn't see who the hair belonged to but she knew. She knew who it belonged to. There were only two people with that shade of hair, and one of them was on this train right now, so it had to be him. There was nobody else it could be. She felt her heart began to race again, as her head spun. How could he have been there? He was an escaped convict, he shouldn't be allowed out anywhere in public let alone at the platform where children were. He couldn't have been there. It wasn't possible.

She looked over at Harry and Ron, but they didn't seem to notice what had happened. They were talking about what they should get off the trolley when it came around, as if everything was normal. And for them it was.

"I-I'm going to, I'm going to go use the bathroom." Hermione said standing up. She knew that her voice sounded shaky and she prayed that neither of them chose this time to become attentive to what she was feeling.

"Okay, we'll make sure no one takes your seat." Harry said.

"Yeah, Neville and Luna are supposed to come sit in here when Luna's done with her prefect rounds." Ron said.

"Okay." Hermione said nodding her head. "I'll be back in a couple of minutes." She hurried out of the compartment, quickly closing the door behind her.

There were already people out in the halls, going from one compartment to another. Girls giggled as they passed her and she had to push herself up against the wall to avoid bumping into them. She took a deep breath before continuing on towards the bathrooms. There were more people in this part of the hallway and she couldn't help but feel like they were staring at her, as though they knew what had happened, as though they knew what the glamour charm covered on her hip. Logically she knew that it wasn't true, that there was no reason they would know, that they didn't know, but she could feel their eyes on her and she picked up her pace to get to the bathroom.

Hermione entered the small room quickly locking the door and letting her head rest against it. She was breathing rapidly now and she could almost feel the walls closing in around her. She was so scared and it terrified her even more because she didn't know why she was so scared. This was a safe place. They couldn't reach her here.

She was supposed to be stronger than this. She wasn't supposed to let this get to her. She wasn't supposed to be this scared. A sob broke free from her mouth and like a dam breaking the tears started pouring down her face.

It hurt. It hurt so bad. She could still see them, everywhere she turned she could see their silver mask, she could hear their taunts, she could feel them pulling at her. She could see him, coldness in his eyes as he dug his wand into her hip. And she wanted to cry. She wanted to scream. She wanted to tell someone how horrible it hurt inside. She wanted someone to tell her that everything was going to be okay. She wanted someone to hold her, to comfort her and tell her that no one was going to hurt her ever again. But she couldn't. She had promised Dumbledore. She had promised herself. And she hated him for making her promise, she hated herself for agreeing to it and for keeping up this charade. She hated herself for lying to Harry; she hated herself a little bit more every time she told him she was fine when really she wasn't.

If there was one person to understand how she was feeling, it was him. Harry had gone through horrible things in his life and he had come out stronger for it. He cared about everyone and he tried to protect everyone. He would understand how she felt. And it was his understanding that kept her from telling him. He would understand how she felt, but he would also feel guilty because of it. He would blame himself for her pain; he would blame himself for her broken state instead of the people who really deserved it. His guilt would drive him to do something dangerous. Telling him everything, showing him what she felt, would only hurt him. And he was hurting enough since Sirius death. He blamed himself enough because of that. She would not add to his guilt. She would not hurt him. She would be strong, even if it killed her.

She would get over this. Eventually, she would begin to forget. Soon she would be able to hug Mrs. Weasley and take comfort in it. Soon she would be able to say that she was fine and mean it. She just needed more time to fully accept everything that had happened, time to move on. They say that time heals all wounds; she just needed to give it time. It would get better. It had to get better. She couldn't take it if it got worse.

Pushing herself off the door, Hermione walked to the sink. She could see her reflection in the mirror, she looked terrible. If she went back to the compartment looking like this even Harry and Ron would be able to tell that something was wrong. Splashing the cold water on her face, Hermione felt herself beginning to calm down slightly. Everything was going to be fine she chanted in her head, everything was going to be fine.

She splashed another handful of water on her face but it didn't seem to help. She might be able to convince Ron that she was fine if she avoided direct eye-contact or he had a large quantity of food to distract him, but he would be the only one. And she wasn't convinced that she could really fool him.

A knock came from the door and Hermione jumped, panicking for a moment. "I'll—I'll be out in a minute." Hermione called. It came out shaky and Hermione prayed that it was a first year out there and not someone like Lavender or Parvati. She didn't need a rumor going around that she had taken to falling apart in bathrooms, no matter how true it might be.

"It's Ginny!" The familiar voice came. "Harry and Ron told me that you were in here. I just want to talk if that's alright."

"Uhh…yes, sure that's fine." Hermione said surprised, "I'll be out in a minute."

"Okay." Ginny called quietly through the door.

Trying quickly to compose herself, Hermione grabbed a paper towel drying off her face. Even dry it still looked like she had been sobbing horribly, her eyes puffy, her nose terribly red. Ginny would know she had been crying.

A feeling of guilt gnawing at her, Hermione raised her wand silently casting a glamour charm. She normally didn't like to use the charm on her face, it made her feel vain and phony, but drastic times called for drastic measures. Forcing a small but realistic smile on her face she opened the door and stepped outside. There were a lot less people in the hallway now and she would have sighed in relief if she didn't think Ginny would question her about it.

"Hi." Ginny said quietly.

"Hi." Hermione said. "Where is everyone?"

"McGonagall came by and told everyone to get back to their compartments." Ginny explained. "I only got to stay because I was waiting for you to be done in the bathroom. Obviously she thought that I was waiting for my turn and not you, but I got to stay either way."

Hermione nodded her head, observing the younger girl. She could tell that she was nervous. They hadn't spoken much at the Burrow. Even after the attack, Hermione had slept in her room with Tonks and she spent most of her time with the boys. She had noticed Ginny watching her, they had been around each other, but they hadn't really talked.

"Hermione…"

"It's okay Ginny; you don't have to explain anything." Hermione told her.

"But I do, Hermione, I do." Ginny said shaking her head. "I am so sorry. I was horrible to you. I was mean and catty and everything that we have ever complained about Lavender and Parvati being, but worse because I'm supposed to be your friend and I turned on you. I just…I saw how upset George was and I couldn't fix it. I couldn't comfort him by saying that he could do better because he can't. You're great for him. And I just didn't understand why you did it. You seemed so happy together."

"We were happy together." Hermione said quietly.

Ginny looked at her sadly, before continuing. "I found out from Lavender and Parvati and I was just so upset that you weren't the one who told me. That George hadn't told me. And I took that all out on you, and I am so sorry. I feel like such a horrible person."

"Ginny you aren't a horrible person." Hermione told her. "Trust me, if someone did to Harry or Ron what I did to George…After everything that happened, I didn't like myself much either. I can't blame you for feeling like you did."

"But it was my fault." Ginny said shaking her head. There were tears in her eyes, and Hermione's stomach clinched at the sight. There had been too much crying among her friends already. "You wouldn't have gone outside with Ron if I hadn't been so horrible to you. Ron and you both could have…I wouldn't have been able to live with myself if something worse had happened, if one of you hadn't come back."

"Ginny you were mean, I'm not going to lie you were. You were angry and confused and you never stopped to talk to me about what happened and you should of. But Ginny, you are not responsible for what happened to us. We were attacked by monsters, horrible people who are more than just mean but actually evil, people who would have found a way to get to me no matter what you or anyone else did. At least this way, more people weren't hurt. Nobody blames you." Hermione said patting her friend on her shoulder.

"Your way too nice of a person, Hermione." Ginny said wiping at her eyes. "I deserve to be called a bitch and put in my place and here are comforting me. I don't deserve it."

"Everyone deserves to be comforted, Ginny," Hermione told her, "People who do things they regret, people who lie and hide things….Everyone."

--

Ginny came back with Hermione to their compartment and spent the rest of the trip with them. Harry and Ron both seemed surprised to see her but they didn't say anything since Neville and Luna were in the compartment with them. They knew that Ginny had been trying to find a way to apologize to Hermione for a while now, but they were glad to see that the two were finally speaking again.

The ride passed surprisingly fast for Harry. It seemed as though barely any time had passed since they got onto the train when they were coming off the train and climbing into the carriages. He was still the only one among the three of them who could see the threstals and after everything that had happened over the holidays, he didn't think that he had ever been happier about that.

"Isn't Ginny riding with us?" Ron asked as he settled in across from Hermione.

"She's riding with Dean." Hermione told him, "She wanted to explain why she hadn't sat with him on the train like she had planned."

"Oh." Ron said quietly, letting the subject drop.

The carriage began to move forward and the three of them lapsed into silence for the rest of the journey. Harry was excited to being go back to Hogwarts, but he couldn't help but feeling like something would change once they entered the Great Hall. Things would go back to how they were, just weeks ago, but everything would be different. He would be so much more aware of the danger now. It wouldn't just be the newspaper articles describing Death Eater attacks that upset him; it would be the look in the student's eyes as they read them. It wouldn't just be Malfoy mouthing off to him it would be a reminder of what his father had done, a reminder of how people like him hurt others without the slightest thought. He didn't know if he was ready for that yet.

The carriage pulled to a stop and Ron hopped out first, Harry following after him and Hermione coming out last. She seemed to be relieved to be back at Hogwarts, she looked as though she had come home. Harry had felt like that before. He hoped being back at Hogwarts would help her.

As they entered the Entrance Hall, Harry noticed Professor McGonagall standing off to the side. When she spotted the three of them she quickly waved them over.

"Hello professor" Hermione said quietly, "I hope you had a pleasant holiday."

"I did, Miss Granger." Professor McGonagall said looking her over. Harry could see that she wanted to tell her something, probably something sympathetic or encouraging about how well she looked, but she stopped herself. "I hope you all enjoyed the holiday as well."

"Of course, professor, we all had a splendid time." Hermione told her. Harry forced himself to nod in agreement.

"That's good to hear." She said in a clipped tone. "Professor Dumbledore would like to speak with the three of you. Please follow me." She turned briskly and began climbing the stairs. Hermione quickly followed her, Harry and Ron lagging behind. Harry wasn't sure why the Headmaster wanted to see them and he wasn't sure if he should be hopeful or fearful. More than likely Dumbledore just wanted to see how they were doing, like he had when he had talked to him at the Burrow. But Harry couldn't help but remember other times that he had been in the Headmaster's office when he had been called there for much more significant reasons.

Professor Snape and Remus were in the room along with Dumbledore when they arrived and the presence of so many teachers did nothing to make any of them feel better about the reasons they were there. Dumbledore quickly ushered them into the three remaining seats, offering them each a lemon drop to which everyone refused.

"I hope that you don't mind that I asked you here." The Headmaster said sitting down beside his desk. "I just wanted to make sure that you're all doing okay. Mr. Weasley your still feeling alright, correct? I know last time I spoke with you, you were still having nightmares."

Ron blushed deeply, glancing around at Harry and Hermione before his eyes shifted to Professor Snape. Hermione smiled encouragingly at him, making it easier for him to answer.

"I'm fine, professor." He said. "They've pretty much stopped."

"That's good to hear." Dumbledore said.

Harry was surprised to hear Dumbledore mention the nightmares. Ron hadn't even shared them with him, he didn't think Ron would have told Dumbledore about them. But then Dumbledore always did have a way of knowing everything.

"And you Mr. Potter is there anything that you'd like to share?" He asked.

"No, professor." Harry said shaking his head. "Nothing that I haven't already told you." And even if he had had something to say, he wouldn't tell him now. He would have waited until they were alone or at least Professor Snape had left the room.

"And Miss Granger, how about you? I do hope that you're feeling better than the last time that I spoke with you." Dumbledore said. His eyes twinkled as he looked directly at her.

"Much better." Hermione said evenly. She knew it was the answer he was looking for.

"And the…mark?" He asked, "Still no problems, I assume."

"No, no problems." Hermione said quickly. She didn't like talking about it. Talking about it made it real, it reminded her that despite the fact that she couldn't see it, that no one could, it was still there.

"Professor Dumbledore, why do you think….Why do you think that they did it?" Harry asked unable to stop himself. It had been something that had been bothering him. The Dark Mark was given to people loyal to Voldemort's cause, it was given to people who he felt worthy enough to serve him. Hermione was a Muggleborn witch who defied everything that he believed in. While he knew that the mark had scared Hermione, that she hated it terribly, it didn't seem enough to make Voldemort want to mark her as equal to men who were so different from her.

"It is hard for all of us to understand what goes through the minds of those who do evil, Harry." He said. "I'm afraid that I am at as much of a loss as you are."

Harry nodded his head, but felt frustrated. He had hoped that Dumbledore would have an answer. But now he felt even more confused.

"I am glad to see how well you are all doing." He continued. "Mr. Weasley you are excused to return downstairs for dinner. Mr. Potter I ask that you please wait outside for a moment, we would like to speak to Miss Granger alone. When she is done, you can come back in."

"Alright, professor." Harry said nodding his head. He and Ron stood up, each shooting Hermione sympathetic looks before leaving the room. Hermione wished that she could go with them.

"Miss Granger, Professor Snape has something for you." Dumbledore said nodding to him.

Professor Snape stood, taking a small box from his robe pocket. He handed it to Hermione and she opened it puzzled. Inside was a silver bracelet, rather simple just a silver band. She looked up at Professor Snape confused, glancing around at the other people in the room.

"Umm…thank you?" Hermione said, looking nervously at Professor Snape. This was all a little too strange for her liking.

"This is an enchanted bracelet." Professor Snape said scowling at her. "It will allow us to know where you are and if you are safe."

"It works much like Mrs. Weasley's clock." Remus explained quietly. "It will tell us if you're in peril and allow us to apparate to you."

"You are to wear it at all times." Professor Snape told her.

"I understand." Hermione said nodding. She pushed up her right sleeve and saw the bracelet that George had gotten her for her birthday. She hadn't taken it off since George had given it to her; even after they had broken up she hadn't been able to bring herself to. But there really wasn't any reason to keep wearing it, it would only remind her of what she couldn't have, of what she had pushed away. She unclasped the bracelet, before putting it into the pocket of her robe. Her wrist felt bare without it.

Shaking her head to clear her thoughts, she lifted the silver band out of the box. It fit her wrist perfectly, almost eerily so but she imagined that magic was behind it. She snapped the bracelet closed and she watched fascinated as runes began to appear. She recognized the symbol for protection and one that she thought meant location before they disappeared. Looking closer at the bracelet Hermione realized that the clasp had disappeared along with them, making it impossible for her to take it off even if she wanted too.

"It's just a precaution Hermione." Remus said, noticing her look. He knew that this must be hard for her, especially with the presence of three of her professors and the Headmaster.

"I would also like to speak with you about something else, Miss Granger."

Dumbledore said.

"Yes Headmaster?" Hermione said rubbing her wrist. It would be a while before she got used wearing this bracelet instead of her old one. She hoped that no one asked about it, she wouldn't exactly be able to tell them that the Headmaster or Professor Snape had given it to her.

"You will be continuing your teacher aid duties of course, along with your occlumency lessons, and you will now start lessons with Professor Lupin." He explained.

"Lessons? What kind of lessons?" Hermione asked.

"Self-defense lessons," Remus told her. "I'll be teaching you how to duel and some more advanced defensive spells then we teach in the school curriculum."

"We feel its best that you know how to defend yourself in case of another attack." Professor Dumbledore said.

"Another attack?" Hermione repeated. This just wasn't how she imagined this meeting going. She thought that they were going to try to reassure her of how things would start getting better now, that she would be protected here at Hogwarts and that they wouldn't let anyone harm her. She had expected to believe them, she hadn't expected for them to really make her better, but she hadn't expected this either. She hadn't expected to leave this room more uneasy then when she entered it.

"It's just a precaution Hermione," Remus told her, "Nothing to worry yourself over.

"I know…I-I'm just trying to get over the last attack, I really don't want to think about another one." She said quietly.

"We realize this is a lot to take in." Professor Dumbledore said.

"I'm fine." She said forcing a smile at the group. "I'm just umm… I just am kind of tired. It was a long train ride. Are Harry and Ron going to start taking classes too?"

"Not at this time." Dumbledore told her.

"Oh." Hermione said softly. She didn't know what to think about that.

"I don't think we have anything else to discuss, Miss Granger." Dumbledore said. "Professor Lupin can walk you back to your common room if you'd like to get some rest."

"Thank you, professor." Hermione said before quickly getting up. She didn't want to stay in this office any longer then she had too.

"Severus, Minerva perhaps you should return to the Great Hall. Dinner should be starting any moment now." Dumbledore told the two teachers. "Please send Mr. Potter in on your way out."

Hermione passed Harry first, the teachers behind her. He sent her a questioning look and was about to say something when McGonagall interrupted him. "Mr. Potter, Dumbledore's expecting you in his office right away."

"Yes, professor." He said. He gave Hermione a nervous smile before walking past her and up the stairs she had just came down. She wondered what they were going to talk about. If they were in there setting up secret classes like they had done with her. Harry was in more danger then her, he was more important to the war because of the prophecy, so shouldn't he be the one learning self-defense? Shouldn't it be him with the bracelet telling everyone where he was?

"Are you sure you're okay?" Remus asked, coming up beside her.

"I'm fine Remus. I mean Professor Lupin." She corrected herself. The halls were empty as all of the students were in the Great Hall at dinner, but she thought it was still better that she call him by his title. She had learned that the hard way.

"I think its okay to call me Remus when no one else is around." He told her with a smile. "And I just wanted to make sure your okay." He continued. "It really is a lot to take in."

"Being friends with Harry helps" she said with a small smile, "You get used to things like this happening. You kind of have too."

"Still…"

"I'm fine, Remus. I promise not start hiding in my room again." She told him.

"That's not what I meant Hermione." He said looking at her concerned.

"I know." She said as they reached the portrait hole. "I guess I'll see you tomorrow. I feel bad that I won't get to help you anymore."

"I don't mind." Remus told her with a smile. "It'll be fun getting to teach a bit more advanced material."

She tried to force herself to smile back at him, but it was harder than normal. Normally she would have been jumping at the chance to take advance classes in any of her subjects. She would have loved it. But in this context, it was just so much more frightening. She was trying so hard to convince herself that somehow everything was going to be okay. And it seemed like everyone else was trying to convince her otherwise.

"I'll see you then." She said before muttering the password and hurrying inside the common room. It was blissfully empty and she let the smile she was wearing drop. Not even an hour back at Hogwarts and everything seemed different now.

--

"You missed dinner last night." Harry said as Hermione sat down across from him in the Great Hall. "And you weren't in the common-room after."

"I was just tired." Hermione said placing a piece of toast and some eggs on her plate. "I decided to go to bed early."

"Doesn't look like you got much sleep at all." Ginny said sitting down next to Harry.

"Yeah, I had odd dreams last night, they kept waking me up. Probably shouldn't go to bed without dinner anymore." She said taking a large bite of her toast as if to prove her point.

Odd had been a mild word for her dream. Terrifyingly realistic might be more accurate. She had dreamed that she was back on the Hogwarts Express. She had been going back to her compartment, this time alone, and when she opened the door someone came up behind her and pushed her inside. She cried out at what she had seen. They were dead, all of them dead. But their eyes were still open, as though they were looking her pleading for her to help them, to save them.

The man grabbed her, spinning her around to face him. He was wearing one of those horrible silver masks. His voice came out garbled and she couldn't recognize it, but she understood him. "Look what you made me do." He told her. "Look what you made me do."

She had woken up after that. And while she had only been asleep for a few hours she had been very thankful to be awake. She did not want to see where that dream led.

Suddenly she didn't feel very hungry anymore. Hermione forced herself to finish her piece of toast, but then shoved her plate away. She didn't think she could stomach anything more than that.

"Done already?" Harry asked looking at her strangely.

"I just remembered that I wanted to stop by the library before class." She told him. "I wanted to look something up."

"Do you want some company?" Ginny asked.

"No it's fine. Go spend time with Dean, it'll probably be more fun for you." Hermione told her.

"Ughh, don't encourage her Hermione." Ron said rolling his eyes. "She spent all of dinner with him last night. And way too much time with him in the common room after."

"Ron, don't make me hit you." Ginny threatened. Ron rolled his eyes at her, but Hermione noticed him shy away from her a bit more.

"I'll see you guys later." Hermione told them. She grabbed her bag, and hurried out of the Great Hall.

The halls were already packed with students and Hermione did her best to get through them without touching anyone but it was impossible and excruciating. Every little bump felt so much worse then what it was. Every raised voice seemed to be saying something terrible. By the time she was finally able to get away from the crowd, she felt totally disoriented. She hoped terribly that these feelings would go away soon, because she didn't know how she was going to cope if she felt like this every time she had to walk to class.

She knew that the crowd she had just had to pass through was because of the last minute rush there was always to get to breakfast, that it wouldn't be like that every time. But now that they were back at Hogwarts, there would always be people there. She would have to get used it; she didn't have a choice anymore. She couldn't hide up in her room with Harry and Ron, she wouldn't always be able to move to a place where less people were. Somehow she was going to have to deal with this, like it or not.

Making her way further down the hallway, Hermione came to a stop in front of the Transfiguration classroom. It was still another twenty minutes to class but she hadn't really wanted to go to the library anyway, it had just been an excuse to leave the Great Hall.

Dropping her backpack to the ground, Hermione took a seat next to it. She pulled out her Defense book to reread the chapter for today's lesson. A few minutes later she heard footsteps echoing down the hallway, coming towards her. She tried to focus on her reading, but the sound was too distracting. All she could think about was who the footsteps could belong too and whether they were friend or foe.

"Miss Granger."

Hermione jumped, startled by the sudden closeness of the voice. She glanced up to see Professor McGonagall standing in front of her.

"Hello Professor." Hermione said quickly standing up. She felt foolish seeing her head of house standing in front of her. Hogwarts was safe; she didn't know why she kept forgetting that.

"I'm sorry to have startled you." Professor McGonagall told her.

"No, I was just distracted. I heard someone coming I just didn't realize you were so close." Hermione explained hugging her book to her chest.

"You're here early, Miss Granger." Professor McGonagall said.

"I finished breakfast early and the Great Hall was a little…loud." Hermione said. "I just thought I'd come early and get some reading done."

"Sensible decision." Professor McGonagall said. "Why don't you come inside, you can read in the classroom and not have to sit on the cold floor."

"Thank you, professor." Hermione said grabbing her bag off the floor. She followed her McGonagall into the room, taking her normal seat close to the front of the room. Putting her bag on the floor, she pulled out her transfiguration book and a piece of parchment to take notes. She felt odd reading her Defense book with Professor McGonagall right there.

"I'm actually glad that you're here Miss Granger." Professor McGonagall said, coming around to the front of her desk. "I was hoping to get a chance to speak to you and now I won't have to wait until Thursday when you have your teacher's aid duties with me."

"What did you want to speak to me about?" Hermione asked.

"I just wanted to talk to you, make sure that you're doing okay." She explained.

"I already told the Headmaster that I was fine." Hermione said.

"I know, but Professor Dumbledore is very good at getting people to tell him the answers he wants to hear." Professor McGonagall said. "I just want you to know that as you're Head of House, as someone who knows about everything that's been going on I am here if you need to talk about everything that has happened."

"Thank you, professor that's nice to know." Hermione told her.

"Is there anything that you'd like to speak about now?" She asked.

Hermione's mind flashed to last night's dream, to all the dreams that she had been having. She thought of her reaction on the train, and thinking that she saw Malfoy though she knew that she couldn't have. She thought of walking in the hallway and feeling terrified. She thought of all the nights she had spent staring at the ceiling too afraid fall asleep. She wished that Professor McGonagall had some sort of explanation for these things, that she would be able to tell her how to handle everything that was happening. She wished that she knew Professor McGonagall wouldn't tell Dumbledore everything she said.

"No, professor but thank you, I'll keep that in mind." Hermione told her. Her smile didn't quite meet her eyes and she wondered if she knew that. Part of her hoped she didn't, part of her prayed that she did.

Soon other early classmates began to arrive and after them those who were on time. Harry and Ron came in barely making it before the bell rang, hurrying into the seats on either side of her.

"You're late." Hermione pointed out.

"We're not late; we're not just as early as you." Harry said.

"Yeah, you were probably the first one here." Ron said.

Hermione just shrugged her shoulders before dipping her quill into her ink; Professor McGonagall was starting her lesson.

As Professor McGonagall lectured Hermione began to feel at ease again, losing herself in the lesson. As the day continued and Hermione moved on from Transfiguration to Charms and Defense Against the Dark Arts, Hermione began to feel more like her old self again. Books and homework, those were things she understood. Every question had an answer. In the classroom there was right and there was wrong, nothing in between.

Whenever her mind began to wander, whenever she felt her mind going back to the forest, back to the train station, she pushed herself harder into her work, concentrated more intently on what her professors were saying. She absorbed herself in the lessons, letting everything else fall away. School was a welcome distraction and she didn't think that even she had ever been so happy for it to begin.

--

Hermione stood outside the closed Defense classroom door, willing herself to go inside. It was just Remus, he would not hurt her, but she was terrified to walk in there. She knew that learning how defend herself could only help things. As much as she wanted this war to just disappear, she knew that that wouldn't, that it couldn't, happen without a fight. And she wanted to be part of that fight. She wanted to stand up for what she believed in, she wanted to show the world that she was a strong capable witch who could defend herself. But she was scared and she had never been this scared before.

In the woods it had been personal; they had made it personal for her. They had made it real. Suddenly she didn't just want to defend herself, she needed to defend herself. And she hadn't. She hadn't been able to protect herself. She hadn't been able to help Ron. And she was afraid that no matter how much training she had, she would never be able to save herself.

Taking a deep breath, Hermione opened the door, knowing that she would be late otherwise.

"Hello Hermione." Remus said, looking up from his desk.

"Hello." Hermione said quietly. She heard the nervousness in her own voice and knew that Remus could tell that she was reluctant to start training.

"You seem worried Hermione." He told her, standing up and walking around his desk.

"Not worried," She said shaking her head. "I know that you wouldn't hurt me. I just…I don't know."

"The attack is still fresh in your mind, it normal for you still to be edgy whenever someone raises there wand towards you, no matter who they are." Remus said.

Hermione nodded, smiling briefly at him. At least he knew that she wasn't scared of him, just scared in general.

"That's what these lessons are for, Hermione." He told her, "These lessons will allow you to have more control if something like this ever happens again. Your powerful witch Hermione, you just need to find a way to use that power to your advantage."

"Remus…I know your trying to be supportive," Hermione told him, "But I don't feel very powerful."

"That's because you feel like they took something from you Hermione." He told her. "You feel like you lost something, but Hermione you didn't. You're still the same person you were. You're still the girl who's at the top of her class. You're still the girl who can do anything she sets her mind to."

"I don't feel like her anymore." Hermione said quietly. "I…When I was alone in the forest with them, I couldn't do anything. For all the spells I know, all the facts that I have spent years memorizing, I couldn't do anything. Before I even had the chance they had my wand and Ron was stupefied on the ground. And I tried to fight. I tried so hard, but they were always there to stop me." Hermione said pushing a tear away. She was so tired of crying.

"I'm trying to think positive." Hermione said looking up at him, "Really, I am but when you know that the only reason you aren't dead, is because they let you live it is not a comforting feeling."

"Hermione that's not true." Remus told her. "You are one of the strongest people I know. You fought for your life in those woods. You hit, you kicked–"

"And only ended up injured more because of it." Hermione finished, shaking her head.

"Hermione, you are here right now because you are strong." Remus told her, taking her hands in his own. "Just because you didn't save yourself this time, doesn't mean you're not capable of it."

Hermione nodded her head in understanding. She knew what he was saying was true and she was trying her hardest to believe it but there was still that nagging little voice in her head that left her feeling weak and powerless.

"I'll make sure that you're capable of it." Remus told her, smiling at her.

"Now," he said turning back to teacher mode. "I think you're going to be happy to hear that for tonight's lesson we won't be practicing anything. I just want to see where you are and how much of an understanding you have about defensive magic."

"Okay." Hermione said. He could see her physically relax at his words.

--

Hermione returned to the common room after curfew feeling drained. She and Remus had covered years of Defense class material, including subjects that were well pass sixth and seventh year level. He had been impressed with how much she knew but Hermione still felt unconfident. Defense against the Dark Arts had always been her worst subject, she was never able to master it as well as Harry did. She knew the spells but she froze up under pressure. And now it seemed as though there was even more pressure.

"You're back late." Harry said as Hermione sat down on the couch beside him.

"Yeah, I lost track of time." Hermione lied. "Remus was having me help him grade papers and when we were done he offered me tea and biscuits. I didn't realize what time it was until it was already after curfew."

"That was nice of him." Harry said.

"Yeah, I guess there are some advantages to this teacher's aid thing after all." Ron said.

Hermione rolled her eyes at him, but stayed quiet. If Ron only knew what they had really been doing, he wouldn't say it was an advantage.

"Biscuits actually sound good right now." Ron continued, "Harry feel like sneaking down to the kitchens?"

"I guess." Harry said, shrugging his shoulders pushing the papers in front of him away. "I'd rather be doing that then the Transfiguration essay McGonagall assigned anyways."

"What about you Hermione?" Ron asked, "Want to come too?"

"No, I'm not hungry." Hermione said. "Not all of us have appetites like you, Ron. I think I'll just head up to bed."

"You sure?" Harry asked. "We don't have to go to the kitchens if you want to do something else."

"No, you guys go." She told him. "Have fun."

"Great, I'll go grab the map and the cloak." Ron said. "Be right back, Harry."

"Are you sure, Hermione?" Harry asked once he was gone.

"Yeah, Harry I'm sure." She told him.

"It's just I know it has to be hard on you, adjusting to life at Hogwarts where nobody knows what happened and you have to pretend like nothing did happen." He told her lowering his voice. "I just want to make sure that your okay. I know I'm not good at the talking thing and I tend not to say the right thing but I'm not horrible at listening if you want to talk."

"I appreciate it Harry, really I do." Hermione told him trying to ignore the knot in her stomach. "But I'm fine. I think being back at Hogwarts is making me feel better. I actually enjoy going to class, unlike some people."

Harry smiled at his friend, glad to see her joking around. "Good." Harry said. "That's all that matters."

"Got it." Ron said quietly, coming to stand in front of them. "You ready to go, Harry?"

"Yeah." Harry said standing up.

"Just make sure that you don't get caught." Hermione told them. "That last thing either of you needs is to get detention, though you would both deserve it."

"Hey!" Ron said.

"You're a prefect and you're breaking like ten rules, Ron." Hermione pointed out. "Out after curfew, going to the kitchens, walking in the corridors at night—"

"We get the point, Hermione." Ron said interrupting her.

"We'll see you later." Harry said dragging his friend away from her. No need to start a fight where everyone could hear it.

Hermione rolled her eyes at her friends, watching as they left out the portrait hole. Once they were gone she let her shoulders sag and sighed deeply. She felt so guilty lying to Harry. Every since the attack, and even before then, he had been so understanding. He was really looking out for her and she kept lying to him. She felt like a horrible person. She felt like a horrible best friend. If it had been Harry taking extra lessons, he would have told them, he would have told her. She knew that Dumbledore had never asked her to keep her lessons with Remus a secret, but she also knew that he didn't mention them in front of Harry and Ron for a reason as well. Harry wasn't supposed to know.

There was just so many things that she felt she couldn't tell him, that she knew she couldn't tell him, it would just have been nice to not have to lie to him about something.

--

She could hear it coming. In the darkness she could feel it behind her and no matter how hard she ran, no matter mattered how much she tried to get away, it just kept coming. Her breath was coming in pants but she didn't stop, she stumbled forward pushing herself harder. She had to get away. She had to get away from it.

Glancing behind her, Hermione saw nothing but darkness but she knew it was there and it was coming after her. She heard a growl and she hurried forward. Her foot snagged a tree root and she fell to the ground, her head connecting painfully with the bottom of the tree making everything go black for a moment. Dazed, she clutched at her head desperately wanting the pain to stop.

She heard something move but she couldn't see where it was. Everything was spinning and she couldn't tell up from down. But she knew she had to get up, that she had to get away. If it caught her then she was dead. If it caught her, there would be no end to it. Desperate, she crawled on the ground trying to put more ground between her and the beast. But she was too slow.

There was a crack and she looked up to see to yellow eyes barely three feet away from her. A whimper escaping her lips, Hermione pushed herself off the ground and tried to run the other direction but the werewolf was much too fast for her. The creature pounced, forcing Hermione to the ground, its huge claws cutting through her robes and into her skin.

Hermione cried out in pain, trying desperately to get away from the beast on top of her. The werewolf looked down at her, its yellow eyes glinting dangerously as bared its teeth at her. Hermione screamed, unable to stop herself. It was going to kill her, it was going to shred her to pieces and kill her.

And suddenly she was jerked forward and she was no longer staring into the angry eyes of a werewolf but familiar black eyes. She whimpered pitifully, as she frantically looked around trying to find where the werewolf had gone. All she could see were stone walls and torches, like in the dungeons. But she didn't understand. She couldn't be in Hogwarts, she had just been in the forbidden forest, there was no way she could have gotten back to the castle so fast. There was no way she could have gotten away from the werewolf at all.

"Miss Granger!" Her head snapped up at the angry tone and she found herself face to face with Professor Snape. "Miss Granger, what is going on?"

"I-I don't know." She stuttered. She didn't understand what was going on. She didn't know why she was there or how she had gotten there. And she still hurt, she hurt so bad, she could feel where the werewolf's claw had connected with her skin. It was real. She had been there. Tears were beginning to fall and she did not try to stop them. Her head ached from where she had banged it against the tree and she couldn't grasp what was happening.

"Calm yourself, Miss Granger." Professor Snape snapped, shaking her shoulders. He could feel her trembling in fear. "And tell me what is going on."

"I don't know, professor. I don't know." Hermione began to sob harder, losing all control of her emotions. She didn't understand. She just wanted to understand. She felt her legs give out beneath her and Professor Snape caught her under her arms to prevent her from falling. She looked up at him with wide eyes, surprised that he was there and that she could feel him. Surely he was just a figment of her imagination.

He pulled her up, quickly glancing around the hallway before putting his arm around her back as he began to lead her down the corridor to the nearest door.

Murmuring the password to his office, Professor Snape opened the door helping Hermione inside and to a seat. A moment later a potion vial was pressed into her hands. She jumped, startled by the sudden contact.

"It is a calming potion, it will help Miss Granger." Professor Snape told her.

Hermione lifted her trembling hand and brought the vial to her lips, downing the tasteless potion. Sitting the potion vial on the desk in front of her, Hermione took in the room around her. She had never been in here before, but she assumed that she was in his office in the dungeons. She just couldn't find a reasonable explanation to why she was there.

"Now, Miss Granger, would you care to explain yourself?" Professor Snape asked her.

"I was in the forbidden forest…I don't even know how I got there. I can't remember. I hit my head, maybe that's why I don't remember."

"You weren't in the forbidden forest Miss Granger. I found you in the castle in the corridors." Professor Snape said.

"No…I mean, I don't know how I got there. The last thing I remember I was in the forest on the ground a…a werewolf on top of me." Hermione said. She looked up to see Professor Snape eyeing her strangely.

"Miss Granger tonight is not a full moon." He said, nodding his head towards the other side of the room. Hermione followed the movement, and saw through the open window a crescent moon staring back at her.

"But…I saw it…I'm not making this up!" She said quickly standing up. She was right. She had seen it; she had felt it attack her. It was real. It had to be.

"Miss Granger, before the forbidden forest, before you were attacked, what is the last thing you remember?" He asked her. His voice was the gentlest she had ever heard it.

"I don't know…" Hermione said shaking her head. "I-I remember going to dinner and helping Professor McGonagall in her classroom. I came back to the common room—"

"And went to sleep?" He finished for her.

"I…I…"

"Look at what you are wearing Miss Granger," He said. She looked down and saw that she was in her nightgown. "Think about what happened, the impossibility of it all. What you saw were figments of a dream, nothing more."

Hermione felt the air rush out of her as she sank back into her chair. It had felt so real. She had felt the wind whipping her hair around, stinging her eyes. She had felt the dirt underneath her fingers as she had clawed at it, trying to get away from the werewolf. She could still feel where she had hit her head against the trunk of the tree, where the werewolf's claw had dug into her skin. But he was right. If that had really happened, then there would be blood, there would be tears in her clothes. It hadn't been real. It hadn't been real at all.

"But how…how did I get down here?" Her voice sounded small to her own ears.

"You must have been sleepwalking." Professor Snape told her. He had that look again, that look that made her think that he actually pitied her for everything that she had gone through. She hated that look; it confirmed just how terrible the situation was for her.

"I was alerted when I heard someone screaming." He said. "When I found you, you were stumbling down the corridor whimpering. We all should be glad that it was I who found you and not some Filch or a student, especially the students that would be in this area of the castle. "

She nodded her head absentmindedly. This had never happened before. She had never woken up any place other than her bed. How had she gotten out of her dormitory, out of the common room and down seven flights of stairs to get to the dungeons? How had no one seen her?

"Miss Granger. Miss Granger, I asked you a question!" Professor Snape's angry voice came.

"I-I'm sorry." Hermione said quickly. "What did you say?"

"I asked, if you took your dreamless sleep potion this evening." Professor Snape said.

"No." Hermione said quietly, bowing her head.

"And why not?" He asked, his voice taking its normal sharp tone.

"Because it stopped working." Hermione said.

"It stopped working?" He repeated.

"Yes, sir."

"Foolish girl!" he roared standing up. "And to think that for a few brief moments I considered you to be intelligent. What on earth made you think that keeping this to yourself was a good idea?"

Hermione couldn't help but shrink back in her chair as his voice echoed off the walls. She willed herself not to start crying again, but she could feel the tears welling up behind her eyes.

"When did it stop working Miss Granger?" Professor Snape asked. There was still an edge to his voice but it was much more controlled now.

"After the attack." Hermione said, still not looking up at him. "At first I just thought the memories were too fresh for even the potion to stop the nightmares. All the dreams were about the attack but lately, since I've returned to Hogwarts, they've been about other things as well."

"And you felt the need to keep this to yourself because?"

"I didn't think there was anything that could be done about it. I was going to tell you when we had our occlumency lesson." She said looking up at him. She hoped that he could see that she was telling the truth. "Is there anything that can be done about it?" Hermione asked.

"I do not know, Miss Granger." He told her, "I will speak with the Headmaster in the morning and see what he has to say."

"Thank you, sir."

"Miss Granger, is this the first time that something like this has happened?" He asked.

"What do you mean?" Hermione asked looking up at him.

"You were sleep walking Miss Granger. Have your dreams caused any other physical manifestations that you've failed to mention?"

"No, professor." Hermione said. "Nothing like this has happened before."

"Good." Professor Snape said, "I will be back in a moment, you are not to go anywhere."

Hermione nodded her head in agreement and watched as he turned and went through the other door in the room. She saw a brief glimpse into a room covered with books before the door was quickly shut behind him. She realized that he must have gone to quarters, a severe reminder of where she was. He had been right when he said that it was a good thing that it was him that had found her and not someone else. Most of the teachers didn't know what had happened and the few that did still wouldn't have known what was going on. But even then, it would have been better for an unknowing teacher to find her and take her to the hospital wing or to Dumbledore instead of any of the students that would have been down in the dungeons. She could only imagine what would have happened if it had been Malfoy who had found her. Suddenly Professor Snape seemed almost welcoming.

The door opened again and Professor Snape came out quickly closing and locking the door behind him.

"Here" He said shoving a black traveling cloak into her hands. "It would be best if no one saw you wandering the halls in that." He said his lips sneering as he looked at her nightgown. Hermione felt heat rising to her cheeks and quickly fastened the cloak around her. She didn't want anyone to see her walking the halls in her nightgown either.

"I will take you to the hospital wing," He told her, "There are wards there that don't allow patients to wander off. You will be safe there if you start sleepwalking again."

"I don't need to go to the hospital wing." Hermione told him quietly, pulling the cloak tighter around her. "I won't go back to sleep."

"Miss Granger it is one in the morning," He told her, "You need to sleep. I will take you to the hospital wing."

"It's not that I don't want to sleep." Hermione said, "It's that I can't. I never can after I wake up from a dream."

"It's still best that you try." Professor Snape told her. She noticed that his voice had lost some of its forcefulness. "Follow me." He said sweeping out of the room. Hermione had to hurry to keep up with him.

--

Hours later found Hermione staring up at the hospital wing ceiling. She wished that Professor Snape had allowed her to go back to her dormitory. At least there she would have had her books and homework to give her something to do. Right now she could be working on her potion's essay or finishing her Arithmancy homework instead of counting the number of tiles that made up the hospital wing's ceiling.

This wasn't the first time that she had tried and failed to go to sleep after the nightmares. She always ended up like this, distressed and all too aware of the world around her while everyone else slept away. It made her feel very alone. It didn't help that there was no one else in the hospital wing and that she could hear nothing but silence. She hated silence almost as much as she hated noise, noise signified that she wasn't alone, silence only served as a reminder that she was.

Turning on her side Hermione looked into Madame Pomfrey's office, from where she was laying she could see her asleep in her chair. She felt guilty having caused her to get up and have to stay in her office because of her. When they had gotten to the hospital wing Professor Snape had instructed her to go set on the nearest bed and had disappeared into the office. It must have been connected to Madame Pomfrey's quarters like his was, as Madame Pomfrey came out with him a few moments later. She had inspected Hermione thoroughly, making sure that there was nothing wrong with her despite Professor Snape's protests that there was nothing wrong and that he just wanted to make sure that he wouldn't find her in the halls again. She ignored Professor Snape and scrutinized Hermione until finally she gave in and admitted that her head hurt from when she had hit it. She had barely stopped herself from admitting that she had hit it against a tree in her dream, but she saw Professor Snape looking at her oddly and she knew that he had known what she was about to say.

The pain potion that she had given her had helped and Hermione had been glad that she had asked for it, but she still didn't feel right. She was tired and achy and she felt like she really had been out in the forest running for her life. Her dreams had always felt real. She had always awoken with a feeling that what she had seen was real, that it had really happened, but this time it was different. She felt as though she had never fallen asleep at all. She was always tired, she didn't remember the last time she had had a decent night's sleep but she had slept. Even if it was only for hours at a time, even if it was disrupted by horrible nightmares, she still got some rest. Tonight it felt as though she hadn't gone any. Now it was if she was too tired to sleep and no matter how much she wanted to fall asleep, she couldn't.

Frustrated, Hermione rolled back to the other side of the bed to watch out the window. Before Madame Pomfrey had fallen asleep she had told Hermione that she would be allowed to leave after sunrise. The wards would permit her leave on her own once the new day had begun. And now Hermione couldn't wait for sunrise.

--

"Where were you this morning?" Ginny asked Hermione at dinner that night. "I was hoping to get your help on my Defense essay, but you weren't in the common-room or at breakfast."

"I woke up early." Hermione explained, "I was one of the first people at breakfast and then I went to the library to work on my own essay."

"We ave a dense say do?" Ron asked through his mash-potatoes.

"Ronald, learn to speak with your mouth closed or just stop talking all together." Hermione snapped at him. The fact that she hadn't slept well in weeks was beginning to get to her and Hermione found her temper getting the best of her a lot more these days. She had gotten used to the dreamless potion and the relief they had given her. Now that she didn't have that, she was depending on large amounts of coffee and tea but they could only do so much.

Ron glared at her, swallowing his food before muttering something about what he'd like to say to her.

Taking pity on her friend, knowing that she had been unfairly harsh, Hermione explained that the essay she had been working on was for Transfiguration and not Defense, so he didn't have to worry.

"Oh, good." Ron said, "Because I haven't started on that one yet and I don't need to worry about doing another one."

"Guess it's a good thing you have all weekend then, isn't it?" Ginny asked smiling smugly at her brother.

"Why don't you go sit somewhere else Ginny?" Ron asked, glaring at his sister.

"Why, when it's so much fun to stay here and torture you instead." She said smiling sweetly at him.

"As much fun as this conversation is to listen too," Hermione said shoving her plate away. "I have to go down to the dungeons; Professor Snape doesn't really like it when I'm late."

Ginny shot Hermione a sympathetic look before going back to eating, oblivious of her brother and Harry sharing a worried look. Hermione caught it though. This was the first time that Hermione had gone to her occlumency lesson since Harry and Ron had discovered them. At the end of the term Professor Snape had canceled her lessons for the last few weeks before the Christmas holidays. He claimed that it was because he had exams to finish, but Hermione was pretty sure that it was something other than that, something to do with the Order that he wasn't able or willing to tell her.

And now Harry and Ron knew what she was doing when she went down there she didn't know what to say to them.

"Do you want us to walk you down there?" Harry asked her.

"No, you guys aren't done eating yet." Hermione said shaking her head. "There's no reason for your guys' dinner to be ruined too."

"I don't mind" Harry told her a little too quickly.

"It fine Harry." Hermione said giving him a small smile. She could tell that Ginny thought Harry was being unusually pushy as well. "I can walk by myself."

Hermione stood up quickly and hurried out of the Great Hall, waving at her worried friends over her shoulder.

Hermione walked quickly down the hallways, weaving in and out of groups of straggling students careful not to run into any of them. Despite the fact that she felt too tired to fight an invasion of her mind Hermione was in a hurry to get down to the dungeons, she wanted to know what Professor Snape and Dumbledore had figured out about her dreams. She didn't care if she had to say a spell or take a more heavy duty potion or wear a bizarre magical hat to keep the nightmares at bay. She would do whatever they said. She just wanted to not be afraid to sleep. She wanted to not be afraid of her own subconscious.

Pulling her robes closer to her body to keep out the chill, Hermione knocked on Professor Snape's classroom door. A moment later he called for her to enter and Hermione hurried inside.

He wasn't grading papers as he normally was instead he was leaning against his desk his arms folded against his chest as he stared in her direction. He was watching her again. It was different from the pitying look that he sometimes gave her. He looked as if he was trying to find something within her, as though he were expecting her to suddenly do something shocking.

Trying to dismiss her thoughts, Hermione walked up to the front of the room. Professor Snape was not an easy man to read, she was probably misunderstanding whatever it was she was seeing. It was probably him wondering why he was bothering to continue teach her occlumency to her. While she was making good progress in her own opinion, she knew she was still progressing too slowly for Professor Snape's liking. She could now repel him from her mind but it took much too long to do it. She found that she was much better at forcing him to see the images that she wanted him to and she used that to give her time to drive him out of her mind. It was a strategy he approved of but he still kept telling her to push herself harder, to practice more, so she would be able to stop him from seeing anything at all.

"Miss Granger" Professor Snape said nodding at her.

"Hello Professor Snape." Hermione said. She wanted to ask him about what they had last talked about, but she bit her tongue knowing that he would tell when he was ready and she couldn't force anything out of him. Occlumency lessons and teacher aid duties had taught her a lot about dealing with him. She had learn when best to remain silent, which was quite often, when to speak up and how to ask him questions in a way that he actually answered them instead of just yelling at her.

"Before we start this week's lesson, I would like to speak to you about last night." He told her.

Hermione quickly nodded her head. This was one of those times when it was best to remain quiet and let him explain things.

"I have spoken with the Headmaster and while we continuing to research these dreams, as of now we have found no solution to stop them." He said.

"No solution?" Hermione repeated, completely thrown off.

"Right now, you need to concentrate on your occlumency lessons," He told her. "You are coming along in your training and once you are able to keep me out, you will most likely be able to block out the dreams as well."

"Most likely?"

"Until we can determine the cause of these dreams, nothing can be for sure Miss Granger." He told her.

Hermione nodded her head again, unable to hide her surprise and confusion. She felt like she needed to sit down. She had spent her whole life believing that people like Professor Snape, people like Dumbledore, had all the answers. That you could go to them with your problems and they could come up with a solution. Now she felt like the rug had been ripped out from underneath her. If they didn't have the answers, if they didn't know what was happening to her, how could she possibly begin to understand it herself?

--

Harry stared at the portrait hole from across the practically empty common-room, willing it to open and Hermione to be on the other side. He had been trying to complete his own Transfiguration essay since he came back after dinner, but now that he knew what Hermione and Snape were doing he couldn't get it off his mind. He couldn't help but wonder what Snape had seen in her mind. Did he know about all the things the three of them had done over the years? Did he know all the things that Hermione had been keeping from him? Did Snape now know more about his own best friend then he did?

Angry at where his thoughts had led, Harry slammed his Transfiguration book closed and shoved it into his book bag. There was no way he was finishing his essay tonight.

"Read something you didn't like?" Ron asked looking at Harry strangely.

"No, just can't concentrate." Harry told him. "I keep thinkin' about Hermione and Snape."

"And their…her teacher aid duties." Ron said looking around to make sure no one was listening. "Yeah, I got to say that's one experience I'm glad not to have shared with you and her. No way I'd ever want that git poking around in my head."

"Yeah, disturbing doesn't even begin to describe it." Harry said. Ron shuddered, closing his own book.

"But its Hermione, she always catches onto stuff faster than the rest of us, she'll get it down soon and then she won't have to go back." Ron said.

"I guess." Harry said.

"Besides, I mean Hermione did ask for the lessons herself. She can stop whenever she wants if it gets horrible." Ron continued. "Hermione's not exactly normal, a normal person would have stopped the lessons as soon as they found out Snape was the teacher, but even Hermione wouldn't stick around forever if it was horrible."

"Yeah, I guess you're right." Harry said, "It's just…"

"Just what?" Ron asked.

"What if Hermione didn't ask for the lessons herself?" Harry asked quickly.

"What do you mean? She told us that she did." Ron said.

"Yeah, but Hermione….Hermione's good a keeping secrets when she has to. Remember in third year when she had the time turner, she didn't say anything all year because McGonagall told her not to." Harry said, "What if…What if someone told her to keep the lessons a secret? What if the attack at Christmas, her weird behavior all year, the occlumency lessons, what if there all connected somehow?"

"Connected how?" Ron asked. He looked skeptical, but he knew Harry well enough not to ignore what his friend was thinking.

"I don't know." Harry said shaking his head. "I just…When I was talking with Dumbledore after we got back to school, I kept feeling like he wasn't telling me something. And when I asked Hermione about what they had talked to her about, she got all evasive like she didn't want to talk about it. Eventually I got her to tell me about the bracelet they gave her, but that was it."

"Dumbledore gave her a bracelet?" Ron asked confused.

"To help track her." Harry said. "In case they ever need to find her."

"Well that's good, isn't it?" Ron asked. "If anything happens, then they can find her. Maybe you should get one."

"Yeah, maybe." Harry said turning out the window. Something just felt off to him. Hermione was finally starting to get better, but she seemed different now. More tired, more apprehensive and he didn't know if it was just in his mind or if it was real. When he had talked to her about Dumbledore she had looked guilty, like she had earlier in the year when she had explained that she had fallen asleep after the Halloween Ball. He just didn't know why she felt guilty, what she was lying to him about or even if she was lying at all.

He didn't like secrets. Not ones that mattered, that changed things. Secrets had led to Sirius's death. He would not lose someone else because people chose to withhold information from him. He would not lose Hermione because of it.

"Hey, look whose back." Ron's voice came startling him. Harry glanced back at him and then to where he was looking. Hermione was walking further into the common room. She looked tired.

"Hey guys." Hermione said forcing a small smile at her friends.

"Hey, Hermione how was…your thing?" Harry asked.

"Uhh…fine, I guess." Hermione said shaking her head. Really, it hadn't gone too well. Her head hadn't been in it. She couldn't stop herself from thinking about what he had told her and she couldn't concentrate on keeping him out of her mind. And Professor Snape had not liked that. It took her much longer than normal to block him out and she knew that she hadn't made any progress. And that scared her too, because as of now her weak occlumency skills were all she had to keep the nightmares at bay.

"You don't look fine." Ron pointed out.

"Yeah, I…I'm just tired." Hermione said. "I think I'm going to head up to bed. I'll see you guys tomorrow."

"Goodnight." Harry said watching her go. He thought that he would feel better once he saw for himself that she was okay. But he didn't feel better. He felt worse.

--

Hermione slowly walked up the staircase, making her way to Gryffindor tower. She had just finished helping Hagrid and she was exhausted. She hadn't gotten any sleep last few nights; she had been too scared to sleep. She had taken to sneaking down to the common room after her roommates had fallen asleep and she would spend the night staring out the window, looking at the stars and watching the sunrise. Alone in the common-room things were bad, but alone in her bed things were much worse.

Sighing deeply, Hermione turned to walk down the corridor. All she wanted was just one decent night sleep, one night without horrible dreams. She really didn't think that was too much to ask.

Hermione heard something creak behind her and jumped. Taking a deep breath, Hermione turned around, looking all around her but saw nothing. She felt ridiculous, there was nothing there. She continued walking again, this time a little quicker. Even if she hadn't seen anything, she still felt uneasy in corridors alone at night.

Then she heard it again and this time it was accompanied by a hand on her shoulder. She let out a whimper before quickly turning around and backing away. She could see a figure hiding in the shadows.

"Y-yes?" she asked, her voice coming out shaky. "Who's there?"

She couldn't make out much in the darkness, but he didn't look like a student and she knew for sure that he wasn't a teacher because he would have said something by now if he was, deducted points, something.

"You mean you don't recognize me?" he asked in a deep familiar voice.

"Sirius?" she whispered unbelievingly as she moved a step closer. But no, it couldn't be Sirius he was…he was gone. He couldn't be there, not anymore.

"Well that's what everyone calls me, though sometimes I think I was given the wrong name." he laughed.

Hermione took a step closer and saw that he spoke the truth. It was Sirius, same long black hair, same gray fathomless eyes, but he looked different too, he looked happier somehow. Like the times she had seen him with Harry or talking about Harry's mother and father.

"Sirius?" She repeated. When she received a nod in response, she flung herself into his arms unable to stop herself. Something good had happened for a change. Something wonderful. Harry was going to be so happy to see him. This would change everything.

"Sirius what are you doing here?" Hermione asked pulling away, "How are you here?"

"Shh!" he said placing a finger to her mouth, "None of that matters right now. I need to show you something. It's important." He took her hand in his own large one and began to lead her down the hall quickly.

"Sirius, slow down." She called to him; she was practically running to keep up with his pace.

"We have to hurry." he told her, "It's just a little ways up here now." He didn't look at her as he talked, just shifted his grasp to her wrist as he continued quickly down the hall.

"Sirius you're hurting me." She said tugging at his hand. His grip on her wrist was painful, and she was sure she was going to have a bruise.

"You need to be moving faster." He snarled turning back to her, but it wasn't Sirius anymore. His face was ugly and contorted as he stood in the moonlight, nothing like Sirius at even the worst of times. She stumbled back, as if she had been struck, falling to the floor. She had been so sure that he had been Sirius. That he had somehow been able to come back to them again. That something good had finally happened. But it had just been another lie.

She scrambled back as he came towards her, his face changing back to Sirius as he came back into the shadows, but he was faster than her. He quickly grabbed her wrists, holding them above her head, pinning her to the floor. She tried to fight him, to kick him, to do anything, but his hold was too tight.

"What's the matter?" he asked, "I thought you were happy to see me."

"You're not Sirius." She choked out between tears.

"Yes, I am." He told her, his tone was just as gentle as she remembered. But she forced herself to remember that this wasn't Sirius. That Sirius wouldn't have hurt her. That Sirius wouldn't have pinned her to the floor. That he couldn't be here. That he was dead. Whoever this was, it was not Sirius.

"No you're not." She said shaking her head.

"Yes, I am" he said through clenched teeth, his hands tightening around her wrists. "This is what you wanted Hermione. This is what you kept asking for when you woke up in the hospital wing and found out what happened to me. You wanted me to come back. You're why I'm here. Don't you still want this? Don't you still want me here with you, with Harry?"

"You aren't Sirius." She repeated.

"How could you just forget about me?" he demanded, "How can you not recognize me?"

"This is what you wanted. Tell me this is what you wanted." He yelled. His hands moved from her wrists to her throat quickly, wrapping them around it. "Tell me!"

She couldn't breathe. She tried to scream but no sound came. His hands tightened around her throat and Hermione tried to push his hands away, pulling at his fingers trying to pry them from around her throat but no matter what she did she couldn't get him to stop. It was as if he didn't even feel her there. As though she couldn't affect him.

Darkness began to creep in and Hermione could feel the oxygen leaving her body as she fought to breathe. She was beginning to feel light-headed and she gasped for air. She tried again to push his hands away but she couldn't do anything. She couldn't stop him.

Hermione gasped again and started to sputtered. Suddenly she could breathe again. The pressure around her neck was gone. Coughing, Hermione brought her hand up to her throat as she sat up in bed. That had been horrible. For one brief moment it had seemed like everything was going to get better, that there was a possibility of everything changing, and then it had all been ripped away. And that happy ending she had been dreaming of was replaced with horrible, terrifying consequences.

She could still feel his hand around her throat, see his face, Sirius's face contorting in anger and madness. She didn't want to remember him like that. He didn't deserve that.

Wiping the tears away from her face, Hermione grabbed her wand from beneath her pillow and cast "Lumos", she didn't want to be alone in the dark anymore. Trying to adjust to the harsh light, Hermione blinked rapidly trying to figure out if what she was seeing was right. Her wrist, both of her wrists, had red circles around them. Right were Sirius had grabbed her in the dream.

Quickly shoving the quilt off of her, Hermione slipped off the bed and hurried into the bathroom. Locking the door and turning on the light, Hermione slowly stepped in front of the full-length mirror. Forcing herself to meet her own eyes, Hermione gingerly raised her shaking hand to her throat, hissing as she made contact. It was red, almost purple in places and as she turned to the side she could see bruises beginning to form in the shape of his hands.

"Oh god." Hermione staggered back, unable to tear her eyes away from the mirror. This couldn't be real. It was just a dream and dreams couldn't hurt you. She had been telling her that for months now and it had to be true. Nightmares weren't real. Imaginary things could not hurt you. This pain wasn't real, it couldn't be.

Hermione's back hit the bathroom wall and Hermione jerked back startled. She began to sob as slid down the wall and onto the floor, pulling her knees to her chest. It was real. No matter how much she denied it, it was. It hurt to speak, to swallow, to breathe. It was all painfully real and there was nothing she could do to change that. There was nothing anyone could do.

---

Longest chapter yet. Sorry for the wait, personal issues have stopped me from being able to work on any of my stories but hopefully those are all resolved now and it won't be so long for the next update. That's the plan anyways. For anyone reading Forced into Love I'm currently working on the next chapter and will update as soon as I can.

Please Review! I love to hear what everyone has to say!