Authors Note: For those who haven't checked my profile, I recommend listening to The Dumbing Down of Love while you read this chapter. It takes about two playthroughs to get to the end of it, but I like the effect.
Vanessa shook her head and ran a hand through her hair. She needed to clear her head, but there wasn't much she could do about it right now...or could she? The creek behind her aunts house ran over a small cliff, not very tall, but it came out of the foothills and had carved out a little cave, well little in comparison to those back home. But it was tall enough to stand in, and it had a hot spring pool. She'd discovered it within a few weeks of her being here, and had claimed it as her own private spot. Pulling her soaked nightgown off, she grabbed the shorter chemise she saved for occasions like this and pulled it over her head. Vanessa then grabbed her robe, a spare towel and turned out her light; carefully making her way down the hall. Her room was at the back of the house, but to even get to the servants stairs she had to pass not only Elizabeth's room, but her aunts as well. Then there was the third step from the bottom, it squeaked horribly when someone stepped on the center.
Once outside, she closed her eyes and took a full breath, loving the way the cool night air filled her lungs. It was crisp and clean, the perfect ending to a horrible night. She opened her eyes, and stared up at the stars. When she was really young, her mother had told her that all those that had gone before were in the stars. After her mother's death, it had taken her a long time to dare looking at them again. "I miss you Momma. What I wouldn't give to have you here for this!" she whispered, taking another breath. Momma would know exactly what she should do...who she should choose. Shaking her head, she checked the lantern on the porch for oil. It had enough to last for the next three hours if she worked things right. Lighting it carefully, she lowered the wick and moved down the hill.
Adam was still looking out his window when he saw the light in the window go out, and seconds later another light appear in the yard. And it was moving! Straining his eyes, he could just make out a figure carrying a lantern...Nessa? What was Vanessa doing out at this hour...and in a house robe? He shook his head and turned around and grabbed up his shirt and boots. Wherever she was going, he was going to follow...after all, someone had to keep her safe.
Vanessa slipped past the waterfall, well, it wasn't really even a waterfall as much as water falling from a height taller than her head, and crept into the larger opening of the cave behind the water. There were piles of rocks and stalagmites all around her, but she only needed to go about a hundred feet...and there. She lifted the lantern higher, and she could see the five or six pools that formed the hot spring. There was a small cool water stream that flowed through the cave and mixed with the hot water to create a few more tolerable pools. The one on the far right was the biggest, she could swim across it easily, but the only drawback was that near the far end it got pretty deep. She set the lantern down on a flat rock near the pool and shrugged out of her robe. Her short chemise barely covered her rump, but she was alone wasn't she? She glanced around, just to be sure, then slipped into the water.
Oh it felt good to be like this, alone and able to think things through without interruption. It reminded her of the days before her mother's death when Vanessa would sit at her piano while Jennifer sang along. She rolled in the water, letting her hair get soaked then dived to the bottom. The water was soothing and silent, just like she wanted to be. Her lungs began to burn and she pushed off the bottom to erupt from the surface. Throwing her head back, she let the water ripple down her face and she again sank to her toes. The water came up to just below her jaw, but she didn't care. She kicked her legs lightly and laid back to float on the water.
Adam had followed her until she disappeared behind the waterfall, then waited as the light got softer. He carefully pulled himself through the small opening allowed by the water. He stood still for a moment, letting his eyes adjust to the dim light the lantern gave off. She was only about a hundred feet ahead of him, but when she set the lantern down, he got a full show. She removed her robe, revealing the creamiest pair of legs that Adam had seen in a long time. The chemise she wore was barely long enough to be considered decent, but then again...she thought she was alone. She turned her head, to be sure she was alone, and Adam found that he was flattening himself against the wall to not be seen. Why was he doing that? He watched her dive beneath the surface, but before he could do anything, she reemerged, flinging her hair back and staring at the ceiling. She brought her legs up to begin to float, and that was his cue. He tried to get closer, but stepped on a loose rock, and the noise echoed around the semi-quiet room.
Vanessa moved to standing as soon as she heard the echo, and wrapped her arms around herself protectively. She strained her eyes, trying to see past the lantern beside the water, but it was almost impossible. "Who's there?" she called out, her voice sounded scared. She swallowed, and tried again, "Hello?" There were footsteps on the ground, and soon she could see Adam standing over the lantern. His shirt was open, revealing the defined muscles of his chest and abdomen. The thick dark dust of his hair glistened in the Louisiana heat, and and she could just make out the powerful muscles of his thighs. "Oh...it's you." she said, her voice catching in her throat as she looked at him. He smirked, "I didn't mean to spy on you..." she raised an eyebrow at him, doubtful, but he ignored it. "It's rather warm out tonight...mind if I join you?"
Vanessa's eyes widened, and she honestly thought about it. Did she want the reason for her wanting escape to invade that escape?
Adam watched a thousand emotions battle across her face; fear, worry, dread, then something he hadn't thought he'd see, want. She actually wanted him to join her! But would she admit it?
Vanessa swallowed and looked away from him. He could read too much in her eyes, it was the drawback of having spent so much time together as children. She was afraid to say yes, worried that she would say yes, and dreading that she wanted to say yes. She wanted to say yes! God damn her to the furthest level of hell, she wanted him. Taking a careful breath, she pushed away from the wall sheltering her figure, and looked back up at him. "Jump in if you want..." She swam back to the far ledge and found the smaller stones she'd stacked here a while ago. There was another pool, similar to this one, only a little smaller and warmer. She'd enlisted the help of one of one of the servants and had placed several larger smoother rocks around the outer edge to create a seating spot. She was about to climb out when a thought hit her.
She was only in a short chemise...and it was now wet. She bit her lip and looked back at him, "I'm not getting out am I?" Adam grinned and raised an eyebrow at her. "No, I guess not." He peeled off his shirt and she turned her back to him, not wanting him to see the flush that came to her face. Not that she hadn't seen men shirtless before, she grew up on a working ranch for gods sake!, but this was different somehow. This....this was Adam. He sat down and pulled of his boots, stretching his bare toes. He stood to drop his pants when he glanced over at her, her back turned to him and head bowed to stare into the water. He could just make out the shimmer of her thighs as they moved back and forth to keep her afloat. His jeans hit the stones with a soft thud, and he sat on the edge of the pool letting his legs drop into the water. When Vanessa didn't move, he smirked and let the rest of his body slip into the pool. She raised her head as she heard the lap of the waves against the stones, and turned around, keeping her chin low to the water. "Alright, you're in. Now what?" Adam raised an eyebrow at her and stepped forward, testing the depth of the water. It came to about the middle of his chest when it suddenly dropped and hit his chin. Vanessa chuckled at him, "I suppose I should have warned you." He looked back at her, "You might have. But then again, I would have been surprised if you had." Vanessa raised her eyebrows and shook her head.
She tired to move around him, to get back to the shallower water, but his arm came out to catch her around her waist. She gasped as he clutched the fabric into a ball and pulled her to him, "I missed you Nessa." She looked away, "I meant what I said last night." She sighed, and looked at him, "I know, Adam. I'd be a fool not too. I've known you long enough to know that you wouldn't lie to me...not about us." the look in his eyes changed, "Nessa, you once told me that you loved me." She looked up into his face, her own eyes hard to read, "Do you still?" Vanessa squirmed under his hard scrutiny, "Why does it matter?" His arm tightened around her, crushing her to him. His other arm came around and helped her stay afloat as he stepped into the deeper parts, careful to keep her head above the water. She put her hands on his shoulders, her eyes widening, "Adam!" She tried unsuccessfully to get him to let her go, but he held her tight. "It matters to me, and that used to be enough for you." Vanessa closed her eyes, "Yes. Your good opinion used to mean the world to me, but now I'm not so sure." she leaned her head against his shoulder, making his back up a bit. He took a deep breath, trying so hard to ignore the feel of her against him, "Well?" he prompted, making her raise her face to look at him again, "Do you still love me?"
She bit her lip, and stared into those all knowing eyes of his. Did she still love him?
She knew her heart still raced at the thought of him, it was racing now as he held her so close, his face only inches from her own. Her body warmed in a way that she couldn't think she could describe when he was close, and she didn't want to think about how her mind had been wandering to those long ago days on the Ponderosa. When he'd come for her on the Summerset, how handsome he'd looked on Sport then, tall in the saddle and riding as though he already owned the ranch. She knew that ever since she'd learned he was in New Orleans she'd been anxious to see him, jumping at each knock on the door, and disappointed when it wasn't him. She looked away from him, gnawing on her lower lip, and panicking. Did she still love him?
He brought a hand up to her chin and made her look at him, into that piercing gaze of his that reached into her very soul. Her soul...as her mind considered that, she realized that if she denied him, she was likely to lose her soul. Adam represented everything she really loved in life. Open land, tree covered mountains and crystal clear lakes. The man was as rugged as the countryside he had worked with the very hands that held her so lovingly. This man knew what it meant to live and die by the land...this man...Adam...
She knew that if she admitted anything, he could destroy her with a glance, a single word. But last night...what he'd said. He was waiting so patiently for her answer. Did she still love him?
She took a deep breath, her mind made up, "I never stopped."