Chapter Eleven: Juicebox
Old time grudges
Will die so slowly
I know you miss the
Way I saw you
And cold
You're so cold
The Strokes - Juicebox
The rain was pounding against everything beneath it as Jasper was finally allowed to return to his room. He had spent nearly five hours in Carlisle's study. He was poked, prodded, and questioned the entire time. It had taken three hours for it to fully wear off. Carlisle had tried everything from food, to medications, to water, to alcohol. He had even done something Jasper had not expected, in insisting on him seeing how well he would bruise; if he could hold his breath under water; if the blood would rush to his head if he stood upside down for a long amount of time, and any other obscure test he could think of.
The change back started by an overwhelming feeling of being cold; a tingling in his feet as though they were threatening to fall asleep. It was a strange sensation, much like he would have envisioned walking outside in to the cold without any clothes on; it hit him harsh. His blood slowed. It wasn't the burning of being bitten, it was a stranger sensation. It was her blood weaning out of his system. It had worn thin, and the circulation was slowly killing it out with the venom. It had taken an hour for it to completely finish pumping out of his system. The needles no longer poked through his skin, the heart stopped beating... it wasn't the painful sensation he had expected or worried... it was more like an absence... like a ghost town that everyone had left suddenly. His body was Pompeii and the vampirism was his volcano that had spread ash violently over the town.
He had spent forty five minutes throwing up food from the day. There had been certain traits of being human that had not returned, and a working digestive system was one of them. The venom did partially digest the food in his stomach, though it had not been able to be disposed of anywhere. Carlisle had advised him against eating food the next time; though as he sat in his room, he hoped it would never come to that. He hated the thought that he had bit her. She had asked him to. He had been weak enough to actually bite her; she had sacrificed herself to protect the other students from him. He had said that Emmett could have pulled him away, but even Emmett had known that Jasper was nearly ready to break away when Lucy had approached them. She had baited herself, knowing that he would attack her. He couldn't believe how foolish she had been, even if she had known that she wouldn't die, she had still given herself over to him. He wouldn't be able to look her in the eyes again; he would feel ashamed every time he even thought of her. He had lost control, and attacked her.
Carlisle was currently watching over her the floor above him. She had passed out in the car and refused to awake. Her breathing was steady, and Carlisle said that her vitals were good; but she was in a very deep sleep. Jasper hated himself for it.
The large trunk she had given him sat unopened against a large bookshelf in his room. Moving from the window he cautiously opened it, curious to see what was inside. A quick scent of magnolias greeted his nose as he opened it. A strong scent that instantly reminded him of his mother; he hadn't expected that. Suddenly a softer scent almost danced towards him, teasing his nose. It was softer, and sweeter. He recognized it immediately as belonging to Lucy. The first thing he found was a small wooden box.
There were intricate engravings on the box; he didn't recognize it, though he had recognized the trunk as his mothers. Carefully opening the box that was obviously old he felt a pang of remembrance. The faded grey of his old uniform. Pulling it out he saw that it had been washed, the holes repaired, and small medals that he hadn't been aware of receiving were pinned neatly on the lapel. It smelled thickly of Lucy; he grimaced with guilt as he picked off a long waving black hair from it. Beneath it he saw a crisp, new uniform that had undoubtedly been made for him. His fingers traced it gently, he curiously saw a small yellowed envelope inside. Pulling it out he read the front.
'Major Jasper Whitlock.' the writing was not Lucy's, but his mothers, yet the paper looked finer than any paper he'd ever seen her use. Gently breaking the wax seal he pulled out a small letter. His mothers soft perfume had faded, and was overridden by the fragrant smell of the small girl who had plagued his thoughts. His mother's handwriting was much less refined than Lucy's as she had not written much on the farm.
'My Darling Jasper,
It has been nearly three years since I have last seen your face. I fear that we have lost you in battle, though I hope greatly that this is not true. You have written me no letters, and I have heard no news of you beyond the contact from the Army for you disappearing. I was not expecting to meet such a wonderful woman as Miss Lucy when I rode to Galveston to collect your belongings. I was worried when I first saw her. she was unlike any girl from our farm.
But the moment she heard I was your mother, she took me in as though I had been her own. She is a good girl, and more beautiful than any of the girls in Houston. She says that you were only friends, but I know better.
I hope you come home soon, Jasper. If not for me, then for this beautiful young woman who needs you. You deserve a good woman like her. I have given her my wedding dress and it has been sized to fit her. She is like the daughter your father was never able to give me, and if you hurt her, I will be very disappointed in you. I will do everything within my power to ensure that you find one another.
I love you, Son.
Mother.'
He held his breath as he thought of his mothers words. She had always wanted a daughter, but Jasper had been her only successful child born. She had five children die during childbirth, or soon after, and two that were miss carried. She had called Jasper her miracle son that saved her from depression. Many of his friends had arranged to be wed to girls in their farming town, though she had insisted that none of them were good enough for her child. He had never felt compelled towards any of them, so he hadn't minded. He had feared that she would find a girl for him while he was at war. Many men had expected that, hoping that their mother and father would find a suitable girl to marry upon their discharge.
Yet his mother had done that. With Lucy. Small, delicate Lucy. She had done everything within her power to ensure that Lucy, her ideal daughter, was available to marry him... Suddenly Lucy's story made a great deal more sense to him. His mother, and her maid, had taken her to New Orleans, where a voodoo queen would literally curse her in to living forever. Not because they intended to make her suffer, but because his mother had been so stubborn and self assured that she was certain she would be with him.
A dry laugh escaped his lips as he folded the letter back in to the envelope, folding his jacket and moving the box. He found a great many things looking up at him, though he pulled a picture frame that was face down over a blanket, and his mothers wedding dress. The frame was an old wood that would have fit in well at his fathers house. He wondered what Lucy's home had looked like for a moment before he glanced at the picture. There, in the old sepia toned colors of a photograph from that time, was Lucy. Staring out from behind the glass as though she were no different from how she now were. He knew immediately when the picture had been from.
She stood in front of a grand piano, sitting beautifully in a room that was obviously much more extravagent than any home he had owned. Fine paintings and crystal could be seen in the background. Her hands rested on her hip, the sleeves of his dirty and stiff jacket pushed up slightly. Her dress was filthy with mud at the bottom, and her skin seemed a shade darker than usual with dust from the roads. Her hair was in frizzy curls, though her bonnet lay discarded on the piano besides her. The corners of her lips were turned down stoically. It had been when she arrived home from their journey. He couldn't believe his eyes as he looked at it, she had taken a picture of herself, at her worst. She looked vulnerable; he hadn't taken her seriously when she had said that he was her hope that night at the campfire... but she hadn't been joking; she had been serious about it. Even if she hadn't been interested in him romantically, she had enjoyed his company... she wanted him to survive the war, when everyone else around her had died... yet he had disappeared.
His mothers wedding dress smelled exactly like he remembered his mother smelling. He gently pulled it out, it was over 200 years old, yet Lucy had clearly taken pristine care of it. The silk was a soft creamy white with light embroidery around the trim. He was certain he had seen photographs at some point, though he couldn't remember his mother very well. He was able to know that the box smelled of her, and he was able to identify certain things, yet he couldn't say what she had looked like, or what she had been like. The dress was very plain for a wedding dress; it would hardly have looked like a wedding dress in comparison to the dresses that Lucy had worn on a daily basis in her youth. His mothers attachment to the dress stuck out in his mind as he held it up. There was a light beading on the top, and a ribbon beneath the bust; it was a very typical dress for the time period. She had sewn it by hand, and spent all of her money that she had stashed for years to purchase the materials. The dress had been the most expensive thing the family had owned, and was kept under lock and key. For his mother to size the dress, but also wish for her to wear it, was strange. His mother had loved this girl, and had no doubts that she and him would have gotten married after the war.
The rest of the box had been placed with such care, it served as a crash course on his past, but it wasn't until he found a small book that had fallen down the side that he stopped his rummaging. Everything he had found was placed gently on the bed; everything was at least 150 years old, most of it over 200. Yet they had been cared for so well that it looked as though some of them were new. The book was old, the corners of it were slightly frayed. Unlike most of the box, it smelled of cedar, and the soft fruity fragrance of Lucy.
'Dearest Jasper,
If you are reading this, that means that your mother and I have found you. I have kept this diary so that you may remember what is in the box, and so that you may perhaps know what your mother and I have gone through.
Lucy Merriweather.'
Jasper frowned, his breath hitched in his chest as he flipped the page cautiously. She had filled the pages with her neat script, it was dated, and written in elaborately. All of the way until the end of the book.
'2 of September, 1863.
Dearest Jasper, Today we have left Galveston to search for you. The military is uninterested in assisting us to search for you. Your mother is certain that you have not died. I should like to hope that you are alive. The town finds it foolish for me to leave, the idea of leaving in the midst of a civil war is dangerous. Dead bodies litter the roads in the wilderness, it pains my heart. I hope against all in this world that you are not one of them somewhere. We have searched every face, hoping for a trace of you, yet there has been nothing. We are still yet in Texas, I will not lose hope yet, nor will your mother. Please stay alive, for your mother. She needs you.
Sincerely, Lucy.'
He frowned, quickly reading over pages, each page read the same. Explaining the weather, the dead bodies, the wounded soldiers that they've encountered wandering aimlessly in the wilderness that had been left for dead... each day she begged more profusely for him to be alive. With each page it seemed as though she had grown more attached to him, without his even having been there. It stopped at the last page.
'Jasper Darling, I fear that you have died. Your mother is ill, she'll not make it the week. We are in New Orleans today; we've stayed here for two weeks with Marietta's family. My sickness has gone away, though your mother has gotten worse. She has the shakes, and an uncontrollable fever. She is violently ill, and there is nothing that we can do but try to make her comfortable. She's got chill bumps, and claims to be freezing. Elizabeth is much the mother I had always hoped for, she is nothing like my mother was. I am beginning to fear that I am cursed, for all that come near me die. Madam Leveau claims that you are still alive, your mother fervently believes her, though I do believe I will give up the search. I will put this book in to the trunk with the remainder of the things that your mother wishes for you to have, and I will carry it with me when I move. I promised her that I would keep it should I find you, and I will. I hope that you have found peace, wherever you have gone.
Love, Lucy.'
The page was smeared in spots, more so than any other page. She had been crying while writing it. She had given up finding him, yet she would still carry the trunk everywhere with her, for 150 years she had kept her promise to his mother, even though she had thought he was dead. Having read her diary from the time when she had searched for him, he understood why his mother had taken to her, and why everyone had taken to her.
"Jasper?" A soft voice at the door spoke. His head shot up from the book to see Esme standing there, her face was full of compassion. "Don't be angry with yourself."
"I lost control, Esme."Jasper told her firmly. He hated himself for it, he couldn't stand that he had proven once more to his family that he was the weakest link. Emmett hadn't gone chasing after the bloody boy, none of the others needed to be pulled away, to be lured from it by a willing victim. And then, he realized that he couldn't hear her heart beat the floor above; her soft breathing was no longer there. Fear clutched at his chest. He hadn't been able to smell her regardless, perhaps that was part of the reason they had put her a floor above him; scents rose, and they didn't trust him with her. His family didn't trust him, and he had only proven them correct. The one key to his past, and he had killed her.
"Relax, son. She's shopping with Alice. They didn't want to bother you." Esme said warmly. "What is all of this?"
"Lucy gave it to me, it was from my mother." Jasper said, Esme's eyes softened instantly as she looked to it, her fingers gently grazing the fabric on the dress. She had won yet another person over.
"That was very kind of her." Esme said quietly as she looked at everything on the bed.
"Yes, it was." He said, a bit more harshly than he had intended. She won everyone over; she was kind, and warm hearted. She made everyone love her with her sweet nature. Her and Esme would have gotten along perfectly; he doubted she had ever truly had anyone dislike her. She was willing to sacrifice her happiness for the well being of others, and he had attacked her,
"I will always be here for you if you need to talk." Esme said, sensing that he wanted to be alone. Esme would love him regardless of what he had done, she would forgive him anything, her love was unconditional. The harder he looked, the more similarities he saw between their personalities.
Lucy awoke early enough to prepare for school, she felt much better after sleeping all day. Despite this, she didn't want to go to school. She could practically hear the gossip in her mind as she drove. She wanted to ask Jasper if he was all right, but when walking past his room she could feel guilt and anger radiating out. He was alive, and was back to projecting his emotions on to everyone around him so she supposed he was well enough.
"Lucy! You have to tell me what is going on!" Sam practically tackled the small dark haired girl as she got out of her car. Lucy forced a smile. She had no idea what to say, or how she had suddenly become close enough to the boy to disappear for an entire period with, and then leave during lunch together.
"What is happening with you and Jasper? You can't tell me nothing." Sam said firmly as Lucy pulled her books from her bag. She glanced up to see the Cullens arriving, they had come in separate cars, as usual. Edward picked Bella up every morning, while Rosalie drove the rest of the family in her small convertible. It could barely fit four people, let alone five, so she hadn't pushed to ride with them... but Jasper wasn't there today.
"I've just been getting really sick ever since the accident, I think it messed with my immune system or something." Lucy said off handedly. "Dr. Cullen insisted that I stay with his family, they've got the hugest house you'd ever see, and they already have an army of teenagers, so what's one more?"
"So you're living with the Cullens?" She asked brightly. "You finally admit to it!"
"It's not that big of a deal. I've just been really sick. I didn't want anyone to make a big deal out of it... but I wasn't feeling very well yesterday, so Jasper offered to take me back." Lucy explained, coming up quickly with an explanation. She hated lying, but there was no way to survive without it.
"Oh, is it serious?" Sam looked worried. Lucy felt bad for lying, this girl now thought that she was seriously ill and dying. "Are you going to get better?"
"I should be fine in a week or so. It's probably just a cold or something. But you know how I am, I refuse to miss school." Lucy said with a grin. So there was a string of truth in her lie; she did hate missing school. Yet she wasn't sick in the sense that she was explaining.
"Okay! My parents won't let me go shopping with you, but my cousin is going to college in Olympia, and I think I could get him to come up for prom." Sam said with a frown.
"That's too bad, I really wanted to go shopping with you. Though Alice has been pestering me about it, so she'll be happy to hear that she can go with me." Lucy said offhandedly, offering a small smile as they made their way in to the building. "Tell me about your cousin."
"His name is Chris. He's tall, with shaggy blonde hair. He plays soccer a lot, and he's majoring in art." Sam said casually, pulling a picture out of her pocket that she had clearly been holding in anticipation for showing her friend. "I sent him your picture, and he said he would love to go with you."
"I see." Lucy said slowly as she took a hold of the picture, glancing over it. The boy was good looking, he had very bold features, very obviously Ukrainian, or some eastern European decent, much like Sam. His eyes were a hazel green and his brows darker than his hair, though she suspected it was naturally that way. He had boyish good looks, but he wasn't Jasper. She could feel a pit in her stomach at the thought. Jasper was nothing short of beautiful, this boy was merely average in his good looks at best. Though in the back of her mind she had to remind herself that he wasn't the same person she had known back then; he wasn't the boy that his mother had built up. The man that had replayed in her memory was not him. Jasper was a vampire, a man who had spent over a hundred years killing things to survive. He had been married, and had eaten humans.
"What do you think? You look upset." Sam said, her voice cautious.
"No, he's great. I would love it if he came with me. When can I meet him?" Lucy said putting on her best smile. The boy looked nice, it would be good to act like a normal teenager. She could go to a dance, pretend to be normal, and not have to bother Jasper. "Can he dance?"
"He's related to me." Sam said brightly, taking the picture as she tucked it in to her bag. Lucy raised an eyebrow at this, prepared to say a snide comment. "He can, stop thinking that, you jerk."
"What?" Lucy said, feigning innocence as Sam laughed.
"He's coming in to town on Friday afternoon after classes. We're going out to dinner if you'd like to come." Sam said brightly. Lucy thought about it, that was only a few days away.
"Are you sure your family would be all right with that? Aren't they still upset with me?" She asked her friend precariously as she walked towards her statistics class.
"They know it's not your fault, they just don't want me going anywhere in a car." Sam said with contempt.
"All right, I'll see you next period. Thanks for doing this." Lucy said, putting on a smile; she could hear the whispers following her towards class. Talking with Sam had muted them a bit, yet she kept hearing bits and pieces about her and Jasper. US History would be hell.
Despite her thoughts about the day going harshly, the day passed relatively easily. Though Lucy had to thank Sam for a large part of that, she had very loudly talked about how Lucy would be going out with her cousin, and how sick she had been. Mentioning that the gossip quickly changed to talking about her cousin, and what was wrong with the girl. Walking out to her car Alice stopped her.
"Luce, I don't think Jasper is ready to see you. Let's go shopping." Alice said brightly, latching arms with the girl as they made their way towards her car. Lucy nodded with confusion as Alice grabbed her keys and was quickly starting the car before Lucy stepped in.
"He's not ready to see me? What are you talking about?" Lucy said as she shut her door. She watched Alice with a confused expression while latching her seatbelt.
"He needs some time to think. He feels bad for yesterday." Alice said to Lucy, her tone was bright, and friendly. She and Alice had gotten along well enough, though they had rarely spent time alone together; Lucy felt slightly awkward with their silence. She wasn't sure what to say to the shorter girl; she wanted to be friendly, yet she didn't want to talk about Jasper, or Alice's friend... and she didn't want to bother her with talking about school.
"Why would he feel bad? I told him it wouldn't harm me. It's the whole reason for my existence." Lucy scoffed; it sounded much more absurd when she said it aloud... that her existence was so that she could save him from killing people; but she thought that was it, she firmly believed it.
"The reason for your existence? Why would that he the reason for your existence?" Alice asked her with a slight laugh, as though it were as ridiculous as it sounded.
"I can't really explain it, but I just have this feeling... there's a reason for everything, I can honestly say that I think there is a reason for this." Lucy said, she felt self conscious at the idea of explaining why it made sense. Yet Alice seemed to not quite understand how she had explained it. "I was created, if you will, so that I would live as long as Jasper. She had foreseen our futures before he had become a vampire, and upon meeting me, she made me immortal. She made it so that I could survive against the odds."
"Doesn't it seem a bit strange to you that I knew Jasper when we were both normal, and that we somehow end up in the same town at the same time, both going to high school... Strange that the one person who can make you feel more human, and set off the thirst, with a group of vampires that try to blend in with humans, and Jasper has the worst thirst of all of you." Lucy explained, deciding that it made no sense to hold it back. She was certain that Edward had already heard her thoughts, so there was no point in keeping them from Alice. She didn't like keeping secrets from her friends, and Alice wanted to be her friend. "It probably sounds ridiculous, but it just seems too much to simply be coincidence."
"I don't think Jasper will see it that way." Alice said softly after a few minutes had passed. They were driving faster than her car had ever gone before; though it wasn't as though either of them could die, so they didn't have much to lose. It was a strange feeling to understand something that has been a source of confusion for a century... particularly when it had revolved primarily around a single man. Yet, as much as she enjoyed being near him, she feared it. Sitting in the car with him had felt as though electricity had sparked in the air; it was nothing short of breath taking to be so near to him. Yet the realization that the whole reason for her existence had been because of him... Madam Leveau had thought that she and Jasper would spend eternity together. She had known him three days as a human before this decision had been made, and while she had seen him at school for three years, she hadn't known him that well. Even now, he seemed to avoid her like the plague 80% of the time. He was more temperamental than a teenage girl; not that she hadn't understood why, yet it didn't make it any more enjoyable for her to experience. One moment he was entirely compassionate and kind, as though he was that man that she had known... and then the very next second, without even a blink of the eye and he was suddenly a stand offish jerk that wanted nothing to do with her; he couldn't stand to be near her, yet he didn't want anyone else near her either. She wasn't sure what to do about him, so she would just pretend nothing had happened.
"He feels like a monster for it... He thinks that you'll hate him." Alice told her after another moment had passed. Lucy had to laugh at the thought.
"I don't think I could hate him." Lucy said quietly as she glanced out the window. She wasn't sure where the thought had come from, but it was how she had felt. She didn't hate people very well, she was the type to give innumerable chances. She couldn't even hold a grudge... yet she knew that there was something different about Jasper that made it especially true. Even if she had been irate with him, it would only have lasted so long as she did not look to him. The moment she looked to him, her entire resolve would break, as it did with everything. He was her drug, and so long as she could see him, smell him, feel the electricity that his cold skin seemed to conduct... she couldn't think of anything but him.
"That's how I feel about Nick." Alice smiled softly as she continued driving. "You haven't met him yet, have you?"
"No, I haven't." Lucy said, thankful for the change of subject. "What is he like? How did you meet?"
"Has Jasper told you about he and I?" Alice asked suddenly, Lucy grimaced as the subject returned back to Jasper. She had hoped to not think about him for at least a few moments.
"No, he won't say anything about you; though Emmett said that you and Jasper were supposed to be together." Lucy said curiously, she had always wondered what had happened between Alice and her two men. She hadn't heard the man's name, though she presumed that was who Nick was.
"I was bit when I was twenty years old, and have little memory of my mortal life... though one of my first visions was of the Cullens, and Jasper. I had seen him and knew that we would be great friends, and that we would seek out a family that would teach us how to be better... How not to be monsters. I searched for years looking for him; I had seen a vision of us meeting in a diner. I went to every diner I could find, hoping to see him, or at least recognize the diner." Alice began quietly, her voice loud enough to hear, though just barely. "While on my journeys I met Nick. We traveled for a few months looking, though he had a coven of his own that he needed to return to, so we parted ways. I always knew that Jasper and I weren't mates, though we tried to make it work."
"Why would you try to make it work?" Lucy asked her curiously, she couldn't imagine trying to make a romance work if you knew it wasn't meant to last.
"Forever is a long time to spend alone. Jasper and I got along greatly, we were very close friends. Romance was natural to have occurred." Alice said slowly. "We weren't strong enough to fight it, we both needed the closeness that if gave us. We had been alone for so long... we had both been weak, and lost. We gave one another that form of connection."
"I see." Lucy said quietly. She didn't really understand it, and it made her feel slightly resentful. She had spent over 150 years alone, yet she hadn't accepted anyone romantically. She had fought against it; she didn't want that closeness, that weakness. Of course, Alice knew what she was, she had known that Jasper was a vampire, and that they would live forever, while Lucy had never met anyone who would live as long as her, she had never met someone quite like her... but it seemed horribly weak to have given in.
"Jasper had always wanted to believe that we were meant to be mates, he refused to believe my visions that we would one day part. But when I had the vision of Nick returning, I couldn't do it anymore." Alice said, her voice sounded almost shameful. "I hated myself for it, for leaving him so broken hearted, but he knew it was coming. Jasper is great... but being with Nick is indescribable."
"Jasper is practical, and reliable... but with Nick... I can't think of anything but him, looking at him it's as though the rest of the world disappears. I look at him and I know... I couldn't spend a day without him." Alice told her. Lucy wanted to be upset over her and Jasper's relationship; they had been married for 50 years, and they hadn't even been meant for one another. It had always been weird to see the two of them together; Alice was the bright, energetic, pixie like girl, while Jasper was tall, quiet, and strange in an entirely different way.
"I could see the future; I was able to warn him when he would attack someone, we would keep him home from school if something seemed too risky. In return, he helped to keep my moods steady. We helped one another; but with Nick we don't have to help one another; I don't have to worry constantly if he is going to snap at someone." Alice said, Lucy could hear the unease in her tone. The family hated to talk about Jaspers control, it was like a dirty secret that they protected like royal jewels. They doted upon him like a small child, liable to attack at any moment. It made her blood boil to think about them looking at him so lowly, yet she had seen him, he wasn't the strongest member of the family.
"I thought he would hate me forever, but then we moved here." Alice said as they drove speedily on the high way towards Port Angeles. "He always had a strange fixation on you; we all thought he was drawn to your blood, so we were surprised when he didn't attack. It wasn't an obsession, or anything of that nature, but he had never bothered to notice humans before. None of us understood why, not even him. You should have seen his face after you corrected him on a fact from the civil war."
"Was he very livid with me?" She asked curiously; she knew that had he corrected her, she would have been angry and bitter.
"No, he was shocked. All of us were, though most of us found it entertaining that he had finally met someone who knew more than him about it. It's not something that he would admit to, but he was like an infatuated child with you. You gave him an escape from the family; we were all so worried about your safety. It was almost a relief when we found out you were immortal; we had been so afraid that he would get too close to you and attack; that was why he always brought Emmett when he visited you." Alice explained. Lucy was shocked, she hadn't thought that Jasper had been interested in her at all, she particularly hadn't thought that he had been fixated on her for the couple of years he had lived there.
"Here I thought it was because Emmett found my strange sayings and human ways amusing." Lucy said with a cheeky grin. It took the seriousness off of the situation, though her stomach had all but dropped away, the black hole that now replaced it seemed to be eating up all hope at thinking of something else.
"Well Emmett certainly didn't mind visiting you; Edward won't let him near Bella, and since Jasper wasn't about to stake a territorial claim on you, he was free to have his fun." Alice laughed as her eyes shined with mirth. "Emmett has always had great restraint, so we didn't worry as much about his being close to you, though I think Jasper may have been jealous of your closeness; he doesn't think he could ever have that level of closeness with someone that has blood in their system."
"Well I suppose when I said I wanted a guy to want me, I never thought to specify how I wanted it." Lucy said with a noncommittal shrug.
"Do you take any of this seriously?" Alice asked as the car stopped in a parking lot. They had arrived there quicker than she had expected. The corner of Alice's lips were curved upwards delicately. "You seem to make jokes a lot, doesn't any of this effect you?"
"It takes quite a bit to bother me." Lucy said as she took off her seat belt. "When you woke up alone, you said you spent three years completely alone, searching for Jasper. You couldn't stand the feeling of being alone."
"Now, imagine that rather than being a few years, it has been 140 years. Only instead of being able to see that there are other people like you, you're left to think that you are completely alone." Lucy continued as she pulled her purse out of her backpack. "It is nearly impossible to form lasting relationships with people when you know that they will die, while you will live on. To be so much like them, yet, so different."
"Didn't you want to try finding people like you?" Alice asked her softly as they walked away from the car towards a department store. The ground was a pale grey as it hadn't rained yet that day, though the clouds in the sky were a soft grey, and the air was damp with moisture.
"I look like everyone else, I smell and sound like everyone else. How was I to find people like me?" Lucy responded darkly, walking through the opened door. Living was lonely; she tried to befriend people, she always had... yet that hadn't made the pain of losing them easy. She had convinced herself that the pain was worth it, yet after a century and a half of it, she had been growing tired of it... but now she had the Cullen family. Not even accounting in Jasper it was amazing; she had fallen in love with the family instantly.
"What kind of dress do you want?" Alice asked her curiously, changing the subject casually as they entered the store. Brightly colored displays and fragrant perfumes bombarded Lucy's senses as they made their way towards the formal section.
"I don't know; something modest, but nice." Lucy said with a shrug. Shopping for formals had never been something she had cared for. She enjoyed dressing up, and looking nice... but shopping for clothes had become a hassle; it grew tiresome. Trends changed so quickly that it seemed silly to buy new clothes constantly. Within five minutes of fingering through dresses Alice had found a pile of dresses that she deemed suitable.
"Alice," Lucy began, eyeing the pile warily.
"These are for you to try on. Let's go!" Alice said eagerly, ushering the slightly taller girl in to the dressing room with the mound of dresses.
Nearly two hours had passed as Lucy stood confined in the dressing room. For every dress that she discarded Alice brought three new ones. She was beginning to think that Alice had carried a magical purse with an endless supply of ugly dresses. There were big dresses, small dresses, dark ones, light ones, loose ones, and tight ones. If she liked one, Alice didn't; if Alice liked one, she didn't. She was willing to accept that she was more prudish than most women in the 21st century, yet she didn't think wearing a low cut dress that fell to her thighs was the way to break the habit.
"This one is it!" Alice proclaimed brightly. Lucy groaned, awaiting the next mass of dresses; she was certain that she had tried on every single dress that was even near her size in the entire store.
"Will it at least cover my bottom?" Lucy asked, pushing open the door slightly as she wore a bright olive green dress that clung to her top tightly, yet the bottom looked as though someone had torn it haphazardly, dipping it in different colors of dyes.
"Trust me, this is it." Alice said firmly, pushing a long white gown in to the room. It was a nice georgette silk like material, and was very greek styled; it had a low cut neck, and a lack of a back, with large gold ribbons under the bust and as trim. Deep gold silk straps crossed over the back, holding the strategically cut material in place. It was one of the better ones that Alice had brought for her to try on. Eagerly she slipped out of the ugly green dress, unzipping the white dress and slipping it on.
"Alice, I am not getting married." Lucy shook her head as she zipped up the dress. The deep, low cut V in the front felt much more revealing than Lucy was comfortable with, though it was much better than the other dresses Alice had liked. It actually fit her quite well; surprisingly well for a store bought dress.
"Let me see!" Alice demanded. Lucy pulled the door open and walked over to the large mirrors to see the sides. "This is the one, Lucy. You can't not get it."
"Alice, it's too white." Lucy said, shaking her head. It was an unspoken rule that you never wear white to prom. Though she had to admit, she did like the dress... so long as she ignored the fact that the back fell lower than half of her pants rose.
"No, it's fine. Other girls will be wearing more white. You will look breath taking." Alice said, smiling broadly as she watched Lucy. "Go get changed, we'll go find you something to eat."
"Okay." Lucy obliged, entering the dressing room to change back in to her regular clothes. It had seemed many of her clothes were mysteriously disappearing; or rather that someone seemed to be a magical wizard and was transforming her clothes in to something else. She had a feeling it was Alice and Esme trying to be sneaky, though she didn't mind it much. She had little sentimental attachment to her clothes.
Lucy had showered the previous night before bed, and Esme had helped her put her hair in to rag curls. It had taken three hours to get it entirely done due to her hair refusing to cooperate. Yet now, she stood in the middle of her bedroom, holding an old wooden box that was nearly a third of her size. Inside she fingered the delicate silk material of the dress, a pale blue brocade, with cream colored trim. Gently she pulled the heavy gown on to her bed, finally pulling out a camisole, pantaloons, and her corset. The pantaloons and camisole were first; she hadn't worn this set in years. For the past two years she had went to the Victorian Days celebration with Sam to get her extra credit, though they hadn't usually dressed up... yet Sam had a D in the class, and Mrs. Gripling would raise it to a C if they both dressed up. The constricting cream fabric was much more difficult to lace up than she remembered. She slipped it around, fastening the busk, but she hadn't been able to lace it herself. Holding it up to her chest with the laces trailing behind her she pulled the door open.
"Esme! I need help lacing up!" Lucy called out loudly as she walked down the hall. Emmett peeked out from his room, his curly hair moving slightly as he looked at her before he fell to the ground with laughter. She saw her reflection in a picture on the wall, her hair was in rag curls still, and she was holding a corset up to her chest.
"Come on, Lucy." Esme said with a gentle laugh as she and Lucy returned to the girls room. "Ignore Emmett."
"I usually do." Lucy said loud enough for the boy to hear, snickering slightly as he scoffed. Esme shut her door behind her as they walked towards the center of the room.
"How tight do you want it?" Esme asked her cautiously, holding the laces.
"As tight as it will go." Lucy said firmly. She hadn't worn one in years, but it couldn't have been that bad; she used to sleep in these things.
Esme looked apprehensive, but began pulling it gently shut tighter. Lucy felt the air rush out of her lungs as she tightened it a bit more. Esme stopped slowly.
"It's fine, keep going." Lucy said as she took a light breath, she had forgotten the sensation of not having any air. It took 20 seconds for Esme to lace it up all of the way and have it tied. Lucy glanced in the mirror as Esme began untying her petticoat hoop skirt, she put her arms up as Esme slipped it over her head.
"Thank you for all of your help, Esme." Lucy smiled appreciatively. She never could have dressed herself in so many layers.
"It is my pleasure, dear." Esme said with compassion shining in her eyes, Lucy knew that Esme loved doing things like this; dressing up her children, and acting like a real mother would. It took them about five minutes to get the rest of the gown situated, her tall black boots tied up.
"Sit while I do your hair." Esme said politely, Lucy nodded, sitting in a small chair that Esme had brought in the previous night to do her hair. Another twenty minutes later and she had finished. Standing up Lucy was shocked at her appearance. She shouldn't have been shocked, but she hadn't seen the person in the mirror for many years, she had nearly forgotten who she was.
"Hurry up! We're going to be late to Victorian Days!" Emmett's loud voice came floating up towards their ears. Lucy laughed, pulling a parasol from the bed.
"I'll be right down." Esme smiled kindly, disappearing out the door as Lucy walked slowly down the hall towards the stairs. She had two levels of stairs to go down, and she wasn't quite used to wearing the corset yet.
"Are you coming?" Emmett yelled impatiently. Lucy shook her head as she walked down the second story hall towards the stairs. She frowned at the top of the stairs.
"Are you going to be like this all weekend?" She asked, a slender hand placed firmly on her hip as she glanced down to him with a cocked eyebrow.
"Have fun." Rosalie snickered. Lucy grimaced at that thought, walking down the stairs as she held the railing. Rosalie and her got along a bit better when she realized that she wasn't going to expose their secret, and could actually help them; but she wasn't exactly a close friend. Another part of the reason that they had become complacent with one another was that Rosalie no longer seemed to think that she was interested in Emmett in the slightest. Once she accepted that, she had pushed the large man on to her whenever he annoyed her.
"What are you wearing?" She couldn't contain her giggles as she looked to Emmett. The large man had been changed in the 30's, he had never truly experienced Victorian living... and he was wearing a tall top hat, a dark blue jacket with long tails, and skinny, long tan colored pants, a bright red waist coat, with a creamy white shirt that had more ruffles than an Elizabethan neckline. He looked like an old fashioned man from the 19th century that was going to the opera; a fancy white scarf hung over his jacket.
"Esme and I wanted to fit in." Emmett said proudly, puffing his chest out like a proud male primate. She and Rosalie laughed at this as Lucy found herself standing on the floor. Emmett towered a foot and a half taller than her as she looked up to him with her arms folded. "I've been practicing my waltz just in case."
"Just in case?" She coughed out, trying to conceal her laughter. "Just in case what?"
"Oh you know... In case we have to dance or anything." Emmett shrugged, though his casual tone was betrayed as his eyes seemed to sparkle brighter than she'd ever seen before. She knew then that something horrible was going to happen this weekend. Alice must have seen something; there would be a reason for her and Emmett to waltz. She dreaded dancing with Emmett; he would kill her.
"Great." She grumbled, unable to hide her discontent with the idea of dancing with Emmett.
"Oh Emmett! You look so great!" Esme cried out proudly as she hugged the large boy. She had dressed the part of a matronly Victorian woman, Lucy felt a pang of sadness at the reminder of her own mother. She was beyond mourning it, yet she still missed having her own mother... but Esme was like her mother now, and it was a role that Esme had more than wanted.
"Think we'll be the best dressed?" Emmett asked as he adjusted the lapel of his jacket with pride as Esme stepped away. Lucy couldn't help but smile as she looked to the two of them; they looked like a family. Emmett was the obnoxious older brother, and she was the sardonic little sister that felt embarrassed for him.
"All of you are going?" Lucy's eyes shot up as Jasper stood at the top of the stairs, eyeing them all curiously. She quietly hoped that he might look to her, but he never did. His eyes seemed to glance right over her, as though she were nothing more than a spot on the wall.
"I thought it would be fun for to keep Lucy company." Esme said as she put her cold arm around the smaller girl. She sensed the discomfort that Lucy felt towards Jasper. She wasn't sure how it had happened, but while her relationship with the entire family seemed to grow more cemented every passing minute, he seemed to have stronger distaste for her every time he was forced to be in the same vicinity as her. The first week it had been painful, she had thought that maybe she had done something wrong, but now she was resentful for it. She had done nothing to warrant this behavior. She had helped him, and he was too proud to accept her help. Rather than thank her for saving the school from a blood bath, he ignored her and treated her horribly.
"Come on, guys. We're going to be late, and it's rather boring to sit here." Lucy said putting on a bright smile. "Are you sure you don't want to come, Rose? Maybe convince Emmett not to come?"
"Have fun." Rosalie laughed, her bright, musical laughter.
A/N:I am so sorry this took so long. My grandfather has been in the hospital, and I sort of lost track of where I was going with it. I initially hadn't wanted Jasper to bite her so soon, but it just sort of happened. I like where it's going now, though.I also would like to apologize for any stupid mistakes in here, I tend to overlook them when I'm trying to proof it. If you find any, or if you know someone(are someone) who would be interested in beta'ing I would love you absolutely.
This chapter is sort of a filler chapter. The next one will have the actual Victorian Days celebrations, We'll find out more about Lucy's prom date, and we'll get more about why Jasper is being such a jerk... maybe. We'll see. :)
Let me know what you think, and thank you to everyone for being so patient and for reviewing so kindly. I'd like to respond to the reviews, but I've been totally swamped with everything else, but from now on, I'll be much more responsive, I promise. :D