Chapter Two

Or: The prospect of Sirius as a sexy canine

"So? Can you tell me what this is all about now? Remus?"

"I... You know how I told you about werewolf mating?"

"Yeah, sure. You said that eventually you would pick your mate – that is, me – and then you would be tied to me for the rest of your life. It's happened? You know I said I was fine with it, so...?"

"I... I thought... I'm so sorry, but..."

"But what? You..."

"I really thought..."

Silence.

"...It's not me, is it?"

"I'm so sorry. I don't know why this happened. Or, I do. In a way. The wolf thinks he's... suitable."
"Suitable? Oh, really? And who is it?"

"Sirius."

"What?!"

"Yes. Please don't look at me like that. I don't want him! I don't think he's... suitable, or whatever. I don't want him as my mate, really."

"But you said that you would pick me because I am the only one you could imagine spending your life with! You said that you would attach yourself to the person you wanted the most!"

"I was wrong, okay? I thought that... But I was wrong. I didn't have anything to do with the choice. She just told me, right out of the blue. It was already decided when she... And she sure as hell didn't pick the one I want the most. I want you."

Silence.

"Please, love. Don't do this. I swear to you that I didn't have a clue that it was going to be like this. Please. I promise I had nothing to do with that choice. I wouldn't choose to spend my life with Sirius if he was the last man on earth. The only thing I want to do, what I really want to do, is live together with you."

Silence.

"So what are we going to do, Remus? What are we going to do?"

"I don't know. I just... I don't want him. I want you. I want you."

"Remus! Remus, I'm sorry, don't cry... I... I'm sure we'll figure out something."

"It's for life. I'm stuck with him for life. And I don't love him. You have to believe me. You have to!"

"Sure I do. Come on, you need to sit down for a while..."

Remus asked Sirius to be the one who told James and Peter, and he didn't have the heart to say no. So he talked really quickly, looking anywhere except at his friends. A long, long while after he had stopped talking, though, he braved a look. James was staring at him in absolute horror, blinking rapidly, as if that made it any easier to process the information he'd just received. Peter was just looking thoughtful and... was it mildly disgusted? Sirius really couldn't blame him. Just thinking about the whole business made him feel more than just mildly disgusted. He still couldn't believe that Remus, of all people, could be like... that. He always seemed so... well, proper! And now all of a sudden he was... he was doing stuff with men! It was enough to make anyone's lunch start making attempts for freedom.

"But," James finally blurted, "how does that even work, if he doesn't fancy you?"

"Obviously the wolf part of him does," Sirius said, shrugging.

"What's the difference?" Peter wanted to know. James and Sirius both gave him incredulous stares.

"What do you mean, 'What's the difference'?" James said rather hotly. "You've seen him when he's a wolf! Remus isn't anything like that."

"I know that!" Peter retorted just as angrily. "I just mean that the wolf part is still a part of him. How can it fancy Sirius when Remus doesn't? They're still in the same body."

"Don't be daft-" Sirius began, but Peter cut him short.

"I am not being daft," he said through clenched teeth. "I just mean that we don't know how the two of them work. All I'm saying that if the wolf feels attracted to Sirius, then Remus should feel it too, whether he wants to or not."

"Well, then it's against his will, isn't it?" Sirius shot back. "It's not his fault."

"You mean it's usually someone's fault if they're attracted to someone?" Peter said sourly. "Like James decided to be attracted to a girl who hates his guts?"

There was an awkward silence, and then Peter got up and left. Sirius and James stared at each other, and then James cleared his throat in embarrassment.

"Uh... what was that all about?"

Sirius raked a hand through his hair, collapsing onto his bed with a sigh. "I just think he's upset. Doesn't know how to handle this. Can't really blame him for that, I'm pretty damn upset too. I mean... ugh."

"Yeah..." James shook his head, looking confused. "Still, it's not exactly as if it's worse than being a werewolf."

"You think so? I don't really know, actually. I mean, BAM! You're bitten, you're a werewolf. Not much you can do about that, really."

"Well, I actually think Peter has a point there," James said, and his tone had taken on just the merest hint of coolness. "There's not much you can do about fancying someone, all around. If you're stuck on someone, it can't be helped."

"Yeah, yeah, I know, but... blokes, James? It's not... normal."

James made a noncommittal grimace. "I don't know about normal, but... well, I can't say I find the thought entirely pleasant. And I sure as hell can't imagine doing something like that myself," he added with a bit of a shudder.

"Agreed," Sirius said with feeling, trying to block out the mental picture without too much success. "Ugh. Can we talk about something else? All this talk of guys getting it on is getting me nauseous."

James nodded in agreement, but looked a bit uncomfortable with his friend's choice of words. He wouldn't admit it to Sirius when he was like this, of course, but Peter's words really had struck a nerve. Not that he was so keen on the thought of one of his best friends being a poof, but there was no reason to believe that Remus could help what he felt more than anything else. And if that was the case, then Sirius was being way too harsh. On the other hand, Peter wasn't exactly handling it very well either; for all he had a point, he was still acting as if it was Remus who was somehow behind this fuckupery between him and Sirius. And while Remus might be queerer than a professional broom polisher, he really wasn't stupid, and if would be downright daft to get yourself in love with someone like Sirius.

No, that was definitely all the wolf's fault, James decided, as they started talking about unnecessarily manly subjects, like Quidditch and boobs. Both Sirius and Peter were beating with the wrong end of the bat, and he'd just have to make sure that they didn't take it out on Remus.

"So? How did it go?"

Remus gave Sirius a sour look over the top of his book when he dropped down next to him in the sofa. He pointedly eyed the unnecessarily wide space Sirius, for safety reasons, had left between them, and rolled his eyes.

"Shouldn't I be asking you that?" he said.

"Oh, you meant about James and Peter? No problem. Peter got himself a bit worked up, but he'll come around."

Remus raised his eyebrows, and Sirius could see he was attempting to not look worried. But he was. "Worked up?" he asked, marking his place in the book and closing it.

"Yeah. I don't know what he was on about, really, but I just think it came as a bit of a shock to him. As I said, I don't think it's a big deal. You know how he is, couldn't stay angry for more than a day to save his life."

Remus nodded noncommittally. "And James?"

"He's okay, considering. I mean, it's a bit awkward for all of us, isn't it? But he's being a real champ about it."

Remus grimaced ironically, saying nothing, and Sirius saw this as an opportunity to get the answer he had been after. "So, how did it go?"

"How did what go?" Remus wondered, puzzled, and Sirius gave back for his previous eye-rolling.

"Telling your boyfriend, of course. How did it go?"

Remus looked for a second as if he considered getting angry, but then he just sighed, looking away. "He's trying very hard to act as if he doesn't want to punch me."

Sirius grimaced in sympathy. "He didn't take it well, then?"

"Oh, he's okay, considering," Remus said wryly. "I mean, for a person who just found out that the person he loves won't be able to spend his life with him... well, he took it very well. He hates my guts right now, of course, and yours as well, but at least he didn't break up with me."

"But... that's unfair," Sirius protested. "I mean, didn't you tell him that it's all the wolf's fault? He should understand that there is nothing you can do."

"The thing is," Remus said, his face twisting in frustration, "that sometimes even I have a hard time telling if it is me that wants something, or the wolf. And my boyfriend knows this. So even though he wants to believe me, a nagging voice at the back of his mind keeps asking, 'How can he tell?', and he doesn't have an answer for that."

"So..." said Sirius after a long, contemplative silence, "how can you tell?"

"Because you are the last man on earth that I would choose to spend my life with," said Remus promptly. "No offence meant, but you really are."

Sirius laughed reluctantly. "Alright. Fair enough. So didn't you tell him that?"

"Of course I did," Remus replied somewhat impatiently. "But even I have to admit that you're attractive. And so I think my boyfriend thinks that maybe it's about that. Maybe I just think that you're prettier, sexier and... well, physically a better specimen, and that's why the wolf choose you. Which of course is absolute horseshit, because if you're in love with someone, they are the most beautiful thing on earth to you, no matter if they look like poster boys for Witch Weekly or not. And also, I would rather take poison than sleep with you. No offence meant."

"None taken," Sirius said with a grimace. "So why do you think your boyfriend would think that?"

Remus chuckled dryly. "Because, Sirius, it's very hard to compare oneself to you and not feel anything but attractive. You look like a Greek god. Most teenage boys don't, and so we're all jealous of you. It's very hard for my boyfriend to imagine that anyone – even I – would pick him over you. Maybe, if it wasn't you, things would be different." He sighed. "Then again, probably not. You see, my boyfriend has a hard time imagining that anyone would pick him at all, when there's the whole of the rest of the world to choose from – and that's including livestock and probably molluscs too. He's not a very confident person."

Sirius cleared his throat, looking a bit embarrassed. Being complimented on his looks by Remus was not quite something he was comfortable with.

"Right..." He searched for another subject, and eventually found one, even though he wasn't sure if Remus would think that he was being insensitive for asking or not. "So what did it feel like? Meeting your boyfriend now?" he eventually asked, averting his gaze as if that would somehow protect him if Remus was to become angry.

Remus just sounded confused. "What do you mean? I already said; I felt bad for him, I'm sad that he's angry with me, I'm upset about this whole mess. What do you need more, a whole essay?"

Sirius shook his head, his cheeks colouring even more. "No, I meant... after this mating thing... seeing as you can't be attracted to him..."

Remus heaved an irritable sigh. "You were not paying attention," he complained. "I am still just as attracted to my boyfriend as before. It's just that I cannot get sexual release together with anyone but you. No orgasm. No ejaculation. Not even if I try to do it myself. Do you understand now?"

Even as he blushed and wished that he hadn't asked, Sirius also grimaced in sympathy. "Merlin, that sucks. I'm sorry."

"Not your fault," Remus said with a sour smile. "I mean, even if you actually wanted to help me in that department," Sirius looked horrified, "I wouldn't let you. I'd rather live unsatisfied for the rest of my life. And as for the mating part, it's definitely not your fault that you're such a sexy dog."

"Ewwww! Moony!" Sirius launched for his friend, and they both toppled to the floor, laughing and wrestling like they used to before the whole mating thing got in the way and made bodily contact something terribly wrong.

Which was, of course, when the whole Quidditch team, led by James and Peter, came in through the portrait hole. The two marauders froze, making several of the other players bump into them, and angry and confused exclamations ensued. No one seemed to know why their captain and left-field beater was staring in such shock on their best friends, when all they seemed to be doing was play-wrestling.

Then Peter, with a disgusted grimace in Sirius' and Remus' direction, ran up the stairs to their dorm. James' gaze darted back and forth between his disappearing back and his entangled friends, as if trying to make sense of the whole situation. "Hey, captain, what-" one of the players began, but was silenced by a scorching glare from James.

And then, three things happened almost simultaneously. James opened his mouth to say something, Sirius tried to cut him short by saying, "Look, James..." but he, in turn, was cut short.

By Remus kissing him.

A/N: At this point I want to make something clear, so that I can avoid misunderstandings. I don't want people to feel they've been fooled by the tags on the fic, as has already happened once before. So let me clarify: This is a Remus/Sirius friendship fic. As in, they won't become a couple. That would be rather horrible, in this story, ne? So no forced coupling, just them exploring their friendship. I hope that no one feels that I've wasted their time.

Thanks for reading!