I – The Avatar and the Playwright
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Among the clouds; between the masses of the fluffy ether, there is escape from the many pressures life gave me. Hidden from sight of the multitude below, I find peace and time for myself to think things through.
It has been nearly more than two years since I left Ba Sing Se to undertake on a lone journey. And it was my choice to go alone. Or maybe, I just didn't give myself enough time to have thought it through.
Life has been continuous and fairly the same everyday during the course of the past two years. And all I ever did was accept whatever it was that came my way. Of course, my friends never left my mind. I had thought of them all the time – after I wake up; before I fall asleep. "They're miles away while here I am now, near the western coast of the Fire Nation."
Katara and Sokka are well with Appa and Momo. They're doing fine with the rest of their tribe. And on their letter some time ago, they said the Southern Water Tribe has grown a little in numbers. There were some Northern Water Tribe immigrants. One of those, for sure, is the siblings' new grandfather.
On another letter, she said that she has been teaching the new benders the way of healing through water. Also, she said that her brother has continued being a teacher to the new generations of Water Tribe Warriors. I kept in touch with them ever since I started to live by myself. Every time, we sent each other letters through Hawky. Sometimes, I would drop by on a town to have my letters couriered to Zuko, Suki, and of course, to Toph.
Woefully, Toph never wrote back. I know she can't read and write. But, she could have asked someone to do it for her. "And what is this now? – I'm expecting much from her." I had many probabilities formed. Sometimes, I have this feeling that her parents were screening the letters I sent her. Sometimes, I just have the suspicion that Toph has a resent for me and has ignored every single one of my letters. However, I never let those thoughts stay on my mind for too long. They were too hurtful.
"I wonder how she's doing…" I had reasons why I chose not to take her with me. And I've told her those before I left. We even had a fight because of it. "She's lucky… She has a family – a family to return home to," I murmured to the clouds.
"It's not just hard for her," I continued, recalling my last few minutes at Ba Sing Se. "It's even harder for me."
…
After some time, I figured that it's time for me to stop gliding. So, I landed on a hill nearby. I felt ready to face the world and sat down on the grassy earth. I placed my glider beside me and looked up the sky. There, I found myself so wistful on soliloquy.
"The sky will never be as beautiful as you; the chirps and giggles I hear will never be as sweet as your laughter; the leaves, the grass – they'll never be perfectly green as your eyes are… You're more than everything…"
She's all in me. She's all I can be proud of. She's all I can long for. She's all I need. "But what can I do when the hardest of circumstances arrive? – Let go? Give up? Surrender? Set free? What?" And as the avatar, I can't compromise many for the sake of few just as I can't jeopardize the world's interest for mine.
But out of the blue, my stomach hurled out a nasty call for food. So, I looked around for fruits I can eat. Soon, I found some purple berries which reminded me some memories. I picked some, but, knew it won't be enough to fill my needs. I kept looking and found some apples.
I sat under the shade of the forest and ate peacefully. I was thinking that the food I got was enough to get me through till afternoon. However, my abdomen started aching real bad. I found myself twitching in pain and felt it creeping up to my mouth. But, I kept on eating, hoping it will soon fade and that it happened due to hunger.
"Finished, but still hurting," I remarked. My body was weakened. After a little while, I laid down to rest as I was losing my balance. And then, I felt my eyes going bleak and involuntarily closing – I was fainting.
… … … …
"Gaoling… Now, to look for the flying boar," I said while gliding over the town of Gaoling.
There was excitement filling the air around me. The sun warmed the vicinity accordingly. And there were jollies from below. The breeze was comforting and was bringing along a strange kind of nervosity. I've waited long to finally see again this town. "Two years. Two long years."
I soon found the Bei Fong's mansion. It was big and, as usual, there weren't much around. The same kind of atmosphere when I first went here, with Sokka and Katara, reappeared. And the guards – I disregarded them as I was only thinking of seeing her again.
The walls were the same. It still seemed to keep those inside inside and those outside outside. I saw Toph walking nearby the bridge where we first conversed on solemn words. There was a rush of adrenaline and mixed emotions.
I descended near to her, calling out her name. "Toph!" I shouted as she turned around and faced where I was supposed to be in her 'sight'. "Aang," said she. "-you're…" I didn't let her finish. Instead, I gathered my voice to tell her that I was finally back in her arms and presence.
I ran to her and gave her a big embrace. However, she didn't seem to have liked how I acted. She pulled herself away from me and faced down. "Leave now," she told me in a soft manner and without looking at me.
"But, Toph-" I answered, trying to hear an explanation.
"Aang, please leave. You aren't welcome here."
"But, those were your father's words!"
"Yes. They were, Aang," she stated. "And it was what you wanted for me – to live with my parents and heed their words."
"Toph… Don't you want to see me? Don't you want to be with me anymore?"
"I ask you the same," she replied while 'looking' straight at me. I interjected, but, she kept talking.
"You left me when I needed you to stay. You left me, and now, you ask me these."
I apologized to her but for no good. I soon fell on my knees, begging for mercy but, she showed none. She pointed out their mansion, directing me to leave. However, I stood up and hugged her again, hoping she'll finally accept me. But still, she did not and pushed me down towards the ground.
She turned around and walked away from me. I tried to stand and catch her up, but, the ground shook violently like an earthquake, and soon, it splat open and started eating me. My heart beat fast. I tried to cheat death, though hard, and in the near end, I can only see her trod away as her tears began falling.
I shouted her name real loud, but she wouldn't hear. I tried bending, but I had no strength to do anything besides cry for her. The ground kept eating and swallowing me; engulfing me to my demise. A few seconds later, there was only little light to see. I was scared. I was afraid. I was sweating and shaking. I was in a bad state. And I kept yelling for Toph, wishing; begging for her to save me.
"Toph! Toph! Toph!!!!"
…
Regaining consciousness, I awoke wet from perspiration and struggling to catch my breath. It took me awhile to calm down. But, suddenly, someone started speaking. There, I realized I was on a bed and inside a wooden cottage. I had an immediate deduction that I awoke not on the world of the living.
"So, you're awake now, Avatar Aang-"
The voice was of a man's, old in age; cheerful and jovial. I faced him and gave questions, asking if I died and whether we were at the spirit world. I listened to what he has to say; my mind aching so badly. And the more I tried to concentrate, the more it kept hurting. He replied, smiling; telling me that his small cabin isn't part of any world of the passed. His smile never left. His eyes were nearly closed due to his big grin.
"You were sleep-talking, Avatar," he continued on, explaining what has been going on. "You were calling someone's name. From the sounds of it, it's surely not from around here. I can say that person is very important to you, Avatar Aang."
I looked down, learning about the nightmare I had and hearing what the old man has to say about her. I timidly answered the nice old man. "Yes, she is," I told him, facing where he was comfortably seated on a rocking chair.
And so, I went on, asking him some more things that needed clarification. "Did you bring me here, mister, sir?" I queried with all politeness and hardly recollecting anything besides from my horrible dream. The old mister answered, narrating how he found me unconscious on the forest. He, then, brought me to his home.
Soon enough, he excused himself and went out of the room. When he returned, along him were loaves of bread, two teacups and a jasmine teapot which were all on a tray. Then, the nice old man continued on, telling me to eat the bread.
"You had a breakdown, Avatar Aang," he said. Then, I told him not to be so formal in addressing me and treat me like a regular person. He didn't answer. Instead, he kept on speaking. "I've noticed your hurting stomach as you were twitching in your sleep. I suspect you were hungry. Weren't you? Then, you ate apples which were acidic. That may have brought you your abdominal pain."
"You were lucky I found you, Avatar Aang," he added. "You can never conquer hunger. It's best not to dare do so. If no one found you, then, you might have died in your painful slumber."
What he told me was true. I was very fortunate that he found me under that tree where I fainted. Imprudent, I was about to speak, but, the old man interjected. "Well," that was him. "I have to say that you were ironically good-fortuned when you awoke from a seemingly bad dream."
"Yeah… Maybe…" I whispered.
"Thank you," I, then, asserted, my temples, still, hurting. "-mister. Thank you for being kind enough to bring me in your home and to let me sleep on your bed, and even now for sharing with me your bread. You saved my life, mister. And I owe it to you."
He disagreed and made it a point that I could have awoken due to dreaming. What was more were his words about my being as the Avatar and that I saved the world from the tyrant Phoenix King. I began to be modest as he urged me to eat the bread he was offering me. He even gave me an advice about always having some food to eat with me. And so, I did eat, watching helplessly the old mister pour tea on the two teacups.
My stomach; my intestines – they called for more food. Obscene sounds can still be heard coming out from them. The old man chuckled upon hearing from my tummy the sounds of deprivation. Afterwards, he asked me when I last ate. "Last afternoon," I told him. He blatted, quickly; loudly, saying how foolish I am to do so.
"Last afternoon is not a good answer," he spoke as he began sipping tea.
"I am on a journey to further keep my duty as the Avatar," I, once again, told him. "And I have less time for myself."
"Stupid, Avatar Aang," he remarked, joking in a way. "Do you really want to fulfill your obligations?"
"Then, you should take good care of yourself," he butted in as I was about to say 'yes'. "Remember that Avatar Aang."
"I will, sir!" I cheerfully answered. And from that moment on, I realized that I must allot more time for myself so I can continue keeping my responsibilities to the world. I have forgotten my needs for awhile. Maybe I felt too dejected and nostalgic, then, it resulted on me giving up the will to live.
"But, really; there's nothing and no one I need more; nothing as much as I need her."
… … … …
The minutes passed. I awoke on the same bed again, rested. The nausea and vertigo were somewhat gone. I wanted to thank the kind man who took me in his house. However, I remembered that the mister left for some reasons.
I got up the bed and walked into the small living room. There were crumbled papers everywhere. There were stacks and piles of books and reams of paper. Indeed, they were everywhere the small room – on the tables, on the couch, on the bookshelf, on the floor… There's just more and more leaf as I looked around. Some had writings and some did not.
Amidst this unkempt space, I found my glider near the fireplace. I walked towards the brick fireplace and grabbed my glider. And as I stood, I looked up the wall. There, I saw a portrait of a beautiful woman. I'd say she looked between 25-30 years old. Certainly, the word eye-catching was well-written on her face. And it was overwhelming.
Out of the blue, the door opened and the old mister entered through it. "So, you've got up now," said he. I answered with all my gratitude. "Yes. It is all thanks to you, mister."
"Please, just call me Lei."
"Okay, Mr. Lei. Thank you for all your kindness."
"You're always welcome, Avatar Aang."
"What can I do to ever repay you?"
"You need not to, young Avatar. I am the one who repaid you."
The two of us carried on conversing. He apologized for the scattered papers all around. I did not mind it at all. Subsequently, he told me to stay for the night, and, that my breakdown will still affect for a day or two. I refused and told him it was too much. He kept insisting and insisting till he has made me accept.
By then, I asked him why there were so many crumbled papers in his house. He replied, explaining that he was a playwright for quite some time ago. He elaborated, telling me that it has been long since he has had an inspiration. And that it has been long since he has finished his last work and was successful to start working on something again.
"The people knew me well. I wrote acts for them and they enjoyed watching them on the theatres," said the old playwright. "So, how come you lost your inspiration?" I curiously asked. From that question, he looked me in the eyes, maybe finding my eagerness to know.
"It's a quite long story, and quite hard to tell. Why don't we clean up first? Then, I can tell you on a better atmosphere."
"Sure of thing. It will be my pleasure to help you clean," I vibrantly remarked.
"But, are you certain you can do household chores now?"
"Yeah. I'm fine now. There is no need to worry."
The old mister and I cleaned his small cabin inside out. After a moment, I remembered something I thought worth asking.
"Mister," I said. "-if you don't mind my asking, who is the girl on the portrait?"
"It will all be answered, young Avatar," he replied, facing the ground and continuing to sweep the dirty pathway outside.
Then after some time, we were done. He told me that it was time to go inside and have dinner. I agreed with my stomach still feeling a little hungry. "So, this is what it's like to skip meals." And in time, we finished eating. The food was tasty and fulfilling. And from the small space for dining, we moved to the living room. It was tidied out. The books were properly filed and so were the many papers. We both sat down on the couches. Finally, he started narrating.
"You wanted to know why I stopped, right? And you wanted to know who the girl on the portrait is. Then, let me tell you our story," he stated as I listened deeply to every word. "You see, I was a teen and I studied just like the other youths of my time. On a sunny day, I went to a play with my friends. It was then that I discovered my passion for writing such acts.
And so, I began writing. Unfortunately, I could not finish any of the early plays I wrote. I start one and then lose track of what I'm writing. But, everything changed when the girl on the portrait came into my life. Her name was Ada. I liked her at first sight. It was a rainy day when I first saw her beauty – under the gloomy ambiance of the afternoon; under the raining skies, her face glowed like a bright star. It was then that I knew that I had an infatuation with her.
I cultivated and grew my infatuation, though, I knew she was the farthest catch. With every day that we grew up together, I found her growing even more captivating. My teenaged infatuation soon turned out to be love. With that, I set off writing more plays. This time, I had been going far. I had the chance to brag about my stories with my friends. They loved reading them and teasing me for the themes. My closest friends were there with me to see me mature in writing.
Sometimes, they would even be mad because I spend too much time writing rather than hanging out with them and indulging on recreations. But, soon enough, I made it up to them and the cycle continued until the day came that I could no longer hold my feelings for Ada.
I remember exactly how she looked like during that very rainy afternoon when she became the most beautiful person in my whole world. I tried portraying these through words, but, never have I succeeded. Then, on another rainy afternoon after almost two years, we were once again met on the same place – the main street of town where we were about to cross to go home.
I looked her at the eyes as she looked at mine. Then, she crossed the street and got near me. She smiled at me as she was about to pass me by. I did the same to her. I lacked the courage to tell her, but after she got farther and farther from me, I ran to her and held her hands. Then, I told her how much I have loved her for so long. She blushed and was speechless, giving me something to anticipate. But, soon enough, she rejected me and told me that she doesn't feel anything for me. It was then that I realized how wrong I was to even expect that some day, she and I will feel the same way towards each other.
And for the next days, I stopped writing. My friends were disappointed after I told them that. They so much wanted to read how the story of mine will end. And through their persistence, I carried on to write. My happy beginning turned out to be a sour ending. There was no happiness for me to write about. There was no joy for me to describe. Rather, there was only tragedy to pave way for.
And so, I finished the play and let them read it. My stories have been quite a focus of talks throughout our school during the time. As everyone read, they were moved by the bitterness that embraced the end they wanted to know. Some were disoriented and some were disenchanted. But, on one day, someone from the theatre on town discovered my play. He met with me on person and asked if I would want to have my story played on the coming Sunday.
I did not have any second thoughts. I quickly agreed. Soon, there were posters of my play across town. The townsfolk did not know what to expect from me. So, some didn't want to go and watch. But, fortunately, some did. And on the day of the play, everyone laughed and cried as they watched the story get acted in front.
After that, my name was known all over town as the youngest dramatist. The owner of the theatre offered me a lucrative contract to write more plays for him. I couldn't say yes because I still have my studies to focus about and writing acts takes time. He understood and kept his mind open if I have a change of heart.
With every day of my life as a teenager, I was met with recognition and respect. And of course, I was also met with melancholy. In that year that I became famous, Ada got engaged with a boy from a rich family, just like hers. Maybe they were betrothed due to social status. Indeed, it was a time of great pain and dullness for my life. And I kept writing tragedies and satires. And they brought many things to the community. They engaged my peers in reading rather than pulling pranks or fighting each other. They made the adults think about the way others perceive them. They also made me some good enemies.
But, it was a matter of time till I, my friends and Ada finished our studies. My friends were off to work, and so was I. I worked on the morning to help my parents and to earn a living. Then, I wrote on the evening. I worked hard and sometimes neglected myself due to it. There were times that I forgot to take a bath, and times that I intentionally skipped meals."
"So that's why you knew what happened to me," I remarked to the old playwright.
"Yes, Avatar. And it wasn't because I was working hard. It was because I was afraid to face the truth that, soon, Ada will get married and I was scared to live my life seeing her get wed to someone rather than me, thus, rendering me imprisoned. Even by that time, I still was terribly in love with her. Even if she had given me this horrible rejection. They do say 'Love is blind'.
Time came and it was finally her wedding day. I did not attend the wedding. She was a fool to have even invited me. She knew it was hard for me, and yet, she still had the courage to do so. All our classmates attended and they all questioned me why I did not after the ceremony. They never knew I had loved Ada so much. And I never told them too.
And so, I told myself at the time that I had to continue my life; that my life has to go on. And so I lived writing and writing more bitter stories. I depicted a lot of sadness and angst. There were some where I showed how much a person could be blinded by emotions. And there were also delineation of the social differences. More and more people read them, liking them and some cursing them.
I never was able to move on. All the pain; all the hurt… But, I used them in my advantage. I used them as my inspiration with my writing. With them, I finished many acts which were soon played on the town's theatre. I gained more recognition through them. However, my friends soon turned as social climbers. I got depressed and was disappointed. After more days, my bitterness grew as my parents passed away from an epidemic that spread through town.
Everything was in disarray. I learned to get by on myself. Till one day, someone made a ruckus on the front door. I was lying down on the couch where a disastrous pile of books and papers were scattered. I stood up and opened the door only to find that it was Ada. She was crying. Then, she dropped her two big bags and embraced me. I did not know why but I immediately pulled away. She asked if I could let her in. I thought hard and gave myself reasons why I should and why I shouldn't.
But in the end, I decided to let her in and so she told me why she came. She said that her husband was hurting her and that he never loved her at all. All he wanted was the money of her family. And so, she ran away from their house. I was the only one she could think of to get help from, although, she thought twice if I could ever accept her or not.
She told me that she was looking for a new home and asked if I could help her find a place far from here. I could not answer. That she noticed and she apologized for before. She said that it shames her to even wish for me to do favors for her. But, I stopped her from talking. I told her that there was nothing to forgive and that I'll be glad to help. And so, I offered this cabin where I lived all my life. She refused and said it's too much. But, I insisted and kept on doing so until she said yes.
And from then on, we lived together. I told her not to go to town and just stay home. I made it a point that if she's found, she will be returned to the house of the wretched man whom married her for her wealth. We were happy together. She brought meaning to my life as I brought meaning to hers. But, all these came to an end.
The same epidemic that killed my parents had spread throughout the town again. She got sick and died. It was then that my life came to halt. My whole world was destroyed. There was nothing and no one to live for. All I could wish for was to have died along with her. And from then on, I could only write my misery on a piece of paper. But, after her death, the source of my writing was gone. I fail to write anything at all. Just like how I started my early days of being a playwright. And until now, I have never written anything like I used to.
However, you and I came across each other. You reminded my essence how it felt when I was bound in plaintiveness over misfortunes. And what it was like to be in heaven. You reminded me how my mother or how Ada would take care of me at times that I broke down from negligence of my health. You gave me a whole new will to finally be able to portray how beautiful Ada was, and, how she'll always be. And I am very thankful, Avatar Aang."
I gaped at the old playwright with no words to say, his lengthy narration now done. His story was moving and I found nothing to utter and remark, but partly, able to relate myself with him. And so, we found ourselves on a pause, so dumb that we won't even dare disturb silence. But, one of us still has to talk.
Our quiet was ended by the playwright. "I have told you my life," he said. "Now, why won't you tell me yours?"
I stuttered with the words to say. But, I knew it was disrespectful to decline. So, I reminisced about the past, trying to put them all together and recount them through words. "Okay, old mister," I told him. "I'll tell you my life." He seemed very much interested and enthusiastic. Maybe just as I was after I asked him to tell me his story.
"My life all started with the death of another. That is when Avatar Roku died on his island. It was during a volcanic eruption. Many of you Fire Nation citizen never knew for it was kept secret. But, during that night, Avatar Roku was doing all he could to duel the forces of nature, though, it was most difficult. Soon, his old friend, Fire Lord Sozin, arrived to help him. They both battled the volcano. And even together, they still can't win and had to retreat.
Avatar Roku was kind; too kind and Fire Lord Sozin took advantage and betrayed him on their way out of the island. The Fire Lord left Roku to die with his dragon. And that's when I was born with the Air Nomads.
I grew up to be just like every normal kid. The monks taught me great lessons about life. They taught me how to be free and how to live my life detached from the world. I made many friends on the Air Temples, and even the whole world. Until one day,
I was summoned by the monks to reveal one very special thing – they revealed that I was the Avatar.
I didn't believe at first. I didn't even like it. But, after it was made known to the public, my friends started avoiding me. No one would even want to play with me like they usually do.
Life got hard for me during those days. All that had happened left me devastated. I felt that Monk Gyatso was the only one who cared for me and how I was feeling. It came to a point that I wanted to escape my being as the Avatar. And so I did. I wrote a note, telling the monks that I left. I ran away and took off with my sky bison, Appa, towards the sea. Unfortunately, a storm was forging and it caught me and Appa.
My bison and I was hurled into the waves and violent winds. After that, I never knew what happened until two Southern Water Tribe siblings discovered me on an iceberg. I thought that it has just has been awhile since the storm, but, I soon learned that it has been already a hundred years. Moreover, I soon learned about what had happened to my people, the genocide of the Air Nomads, which was Fire Lord Sozin's doing.
I felt guilty for what took place. If I haven't ran away, their death could have been avoided. But, life has to go on. The siblings who found me soon became my friends and helped me accept being the Avatar. And together, we were chased all over the world by the banished prince, Prince Zuko. It brought us many undertakings. And on one visit to the Southern Air Temples where I hailed from, I and my two friends found a flying lemur. It soon became part of our group. The five of us now even went to the North Pole so the younger of the siblings and I can study waterbending.
As expected, Prince Zuko was there to follow. And by the time, the Fire Nation Navy was with him and was on their way for a siege. The battle lasted for quite some time with us winning. And from the north, we carried on to travel for the Earth Kingdom so I can study earthbending. We were headed for Omashu to meet with my very old friend, Crazy King Bumi. However, we found out that Omashu has been taken over by the Fire Nation and King Bumi was held captive. We tried to rescue him, but he didn't want us to.
I told him that I needed to learn earthbending so I can defeat the Fire Lord. Sadly, he told me that I had to find another teacher – someone who waits; someone who listens. And so, we left Omashu empty handed. But, we kept on looking for someone who could be my earthbending teacher and it soon turned out to be a person who will be of great importance to me.
In a desperate search, we came across a magical swamp which showed visions about life. There, I saw a little girl, running and was with a pet flying boar. I never knew her, but in a matter of time, I soon had the feeling that she was the one Bumi had mentioned. The one that could teach me how to bend earth.
We left immediately the swamp and got to a town called Gaoling. It was there that I first tried bending earth. And it was there that I found the girl on my vision. My friends and I first saw her in an Earth Rumbling Arena where she fought under the name 'The Blind Bandit'. I challenged her to a fight in that arena so I can talk to her. But, she wouldn't listen. She lost and walked out without even letting me talk to her.
I still was persistent and found ways to find out more about her. Our search brought us to a rich family in Gaoling – Bei Fong family. And it was in their mansion where we saw the blind girl whom I fought just the other night. We tried to talk to her once more, but, she still wouldn't listen. I kept my determination and found, yet, another way.
We paid a visit to their mansion as guests. There, we were showed hospitality by everyone else except that very blind girl we were after. But, afterwards, she apologized for the rough time she gave me. And then, we had a talk outside on their big garden. She told me her life as someone who was never known to the world. She said that she was being kept a secret – all because she was unsighted and thought to be fragile.
And perhaps the most unbelievable, she mentioned her aptitude in 'seeing' through earthbending – just like the badgermoles. So, even sightless, she could defeat opponents easily through waiting, listening and acting upon their moves.
From that moment on, I felt a connection between me and her. However, our patter left us open and we were kidnapped by the participants in the Earth Rumble. They were accusing us of cheating which neither I nor her committed. Eventually, we got out of the dilemma. However, she wasn't allowed to teach me earthbending by her parents.
We were about to leave Gaoling when she came running towards us, saying that her parents changed their minds and has gave her the consent to go with my friends and I. Soon, she became part of our group, teaching me earthbending and giving me self-confidence. Since then, I never lost the feeling of connection I had with her. Even if we ran into more troubles than before.
The six of us carried on to Ba Sing Se, where another impending doom was in front of us, to deliver crucial information which could promptly end the century old war. We made it through but I was badly beaten by Prince Zuko's sister, Princess Azula. I nearly died when she shot me with her lightning. But, thanks to one my friend, I still survived.
From then on, the whole world thought I was dead. My friends and I used it as an advantage so we can secretly plot an invasion which would be set on the 'Day of Black Sun'. The date was set and plans were made. And so we carried on, traveling covertly along the Fire Nation islands. It was then that I grew feelings towards one of my friends – my earthbending teacher. She became the closest to me. And together, we matured so quickly as we spent those days and weeks, trying to end the war. And my feelings grew even more each day. I knew I was falling in love with her. But, I could only wish the same for her.
Days passed and the invasion came closer. As more and more day came to pass, I was met with more and more difficulties. I found it hard to deal with the pressures of being the Avatar. But, my friends were always there, especially her. They supported me and helped me gather my thoughts. And on one night before the solar eclipse, I had tried to tell her how I much love I have for her, but failed.
And as we all waited, the 'Day of Black Sun' came. It was then that I managed to finally tell her that I love her. It was a moment to savor and remember. In fact, I can remember how it felt; how it lasted; how it set our hearts ablaze; I can remember perfectly how she told me that she has been in love with me too. Undoubtedly, the connection between us grew. I brought it to the battlefield, using it to strengthen me; to fuel my drive for victory.
However, the Fire Nation Army was ready to face the force we've amassed to invade the capital. We were met with traps and ran out of time. Soon, we found ourselves retreating to the Western Air Temples. We lost. We failed to defeat the Fire Lord when we had the upper hand. However, we lived to see, yet, another day.
But, our group was met with a surprise when the prince who has been hunting us all over the globe shows up, saying that he has changed and wants to help us defeat the Fire Lord, his father. It was hard to believe, but soon, we accepted him in the group and he became my firebending teacher.
All of us were aware that Sozin's comet is about to arrive. We planned to wait for the comet to pass since the Fire Nation has almost won the war from conquering Ba Sing Se and defeating the Solar Eclipse Invasion. But, in three days before the comet's advent, Zuko told us of the plans of his father – a plan so cruel and so evil. It was then that we finally had to end the war. Because, if we don't do so, there will be nothing to ever fight for.
Those remaining days before the comet were testing and arduous. I had the most difficult time because everyone expected me to kill the Fire Lord which I refused so much. Because, as an Air Nomad, I am against killing and taking lives. I only used violence for necessary defense. And that is why I didn't want to take the life of the Fire Lord. Because, even with the cruelty and malevolence he has, he is still a living person and I just couldn't slay him in battle.
I got angry with my friends and went off alone. Then, the next day, I found myself alone on an island and only my flying lemur was with me. There, I had the time to commune with the past Avatars. But, they didn't understand what I was going through. They all wanted me to end the Fire Lord's life. And as night fell, I have already accepted that I must slay the Fire Lord till the morning came and I learned that the island where my pet and I found ourselves was a giant lionturtle.
I asked the lionturtle for wisdom, then, he taught me a way on how to defeat the Fire Lord without killing him. And it was then that Sozin's comet finally arrived. I was ready; I was waiting. And then it came.
The battle between me and Fire Lord Ozai finally took place. In time, I defeated him, taking away his firebending. And after, I was reunited with my love and my friends. We stayed at Ba Sing Se for a week or two. We were blissful, but soon, I was told by my past selves that I must travel the world and perform my duty as the Avatar. It was a difficult choice for me. I didn't want to leave her and my other friends. But, they couldn't all just go with me around the world. They had families which they needed to be with. I was even jealous because after the war was judged, they had somewhere to go. But me, I had nowhere to go to.
And so, I decided to leave them, even my bison which was supposed to be my lifelong companion, and mostly, her. I did not plan to let anyone know. I just wanted to leave secretly. Again, I wrote a letter to say that I've left and was about to run away again, deciding to escape and take the easy way out. However, the siblings found out that I was leaving. But, they did not bother to stop me. They said that they'll support me in whatever I choose. And I chose to go alone.
We cried during the last minutes that we were together. Then, I finally flew away from them; I flew away from her, hoping she'll understand what I'm going through; wishing she, still, will love me as she always did when I come back to her.
Since then – a span of two years, I have never seen any of the friends I made during my journey to end the war. I have kept in touch though, sending them letters every once and awhile. Everyone else has replied except for her. I know she's blind and all, but still, I find it hard to tell myself that she just couldn't read and write. I know there's more to it than that.
I traveled long distances and I'm very far from where I last saw her. And this morning, your path and mine converged. And now, we sit inside this small wooden cabin, telling each other our stories in life.
And that was mine, mister," I finished with my tears nearly falling from imagining what I made her go through when I left her.
Toph seized my thinking. I felt awful for once again running away. I don't know why I have the tendency to abscond from the most painful truths of reality – Just like the playwright's inattention with himself. Both of us were afraid to take on the verity of our struggle. But, I only thought of what's best for her; I only thought of what's better for everyone else. And that's the path I chose. "But… is this really what's best?"
… … … …
So deep that it didn't even bleed and catch me
I'll be just fine, pretending; I'm not
Notes
Times
-Started: 8:47 AM
-Ended: 22:24 PM
-Current
Locations
Somewhere in Fire Nation
Characters
Avatar Aang
Katara
Sokka
Chief Hakoda
Gran-gran
Master Pakku
Appa
Momo
Hawky
Zuko
Suki
Toph Bei Fong
Lao Bei Fong
Poppy Bei Fong
Lei, the Playwright
Phoenix King Ozai
Ada
Avatar Roku
Fire Lord Sozin
Crazy King Bumi
Xin Fu
The Boulder
The Hippo
Azula
Quote(s)
All That I've Got
-Sang and Composed by Used, The
-In Love and Death
-Post-Hardcore, Emotional Hardcore, Punk, Rock, Blues, Pop