Selfish
Fake; [feyk] adjective: designed to deceive or cheat; not real; counterfeit.
Kenny shouldered his backpack, then paused. It was so damn heavy… and school only had a period and a half left. He'd been dead most of the day… He sighed, and dropped his bag. Not like school was really helping out his life anyway.
Kenny shook his head. No, no, no. I have to go. If I have too many absents, I'll get kicked out of homecoming, and Kyle will explode. Christ… With that, he picked it back up, and ambled off the few blocks toward school.
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"Hey, Kenny!" Kenny looked over upon hearing his name, and saw Kyle waving him over to his lunch table. He cocked an eyebrow. Wasn't Kyle supposed to be still mad at him or something? Grudges and stuff, right?
Well, apparently not, since he was very enthusiastic about it. Kenny started over, when he noticed Stan enter a door out of the corner of his eye. He was about to wave him over, too, when something extraordinary and very, very strange happened.
He almost lost his balance when he was rushed at and tackled into a very over-zealous kiss.
Of course, Kenny being Kenny, he was no stranger to kissing and the like. But he could almost feel his brain shutting down when he realized he was receiving this particularly violent kiss from Kyle.
Before he could muster the cognitive ability to respond to this situation in any way, a very, very embarrassed and flustered voice whispered, "Please, please, just play along!" in his ear.
Kenny was also no stranger to deals. And he recognized a damn good one when he heard it. So Kenny pushed forward into the kiss, as if it had been completely expected.
Hm. Not so bad, kissin' a guy… He thought idly, and pulled back with a smirk plastered on his face. He wasn't sure why, but it was there. Stan's eyes squinted, and he came closer cautiously.
"So…" He said, drawing out the syllable, "You two are…?"
Kyle nodded vigorously, answering the question that continued to confuse Kenny to no end.
Stan nodded very slowly, keeping his eyes on Kenny the whole time, until Kenny felt like tiny little holes were going to start fizzing up and smoking on his head.
"Um… that's…. cool…. I think…" He said cautiously, then hastily excused himself and made his retreat, glancing backwards until he was out of sight. Kyle continued to smile as if everything was hokey-dorey until he was absolutely sure Stan was gone, then he turned, face very serious.
"How much." He stated plainly, as if Kenny knew what the hell he was talking about.
"I um… what the… the hell?" Kenny stammered finally, confused.
"How much do I have to pay you to play along with this?"
"Play along with what? What the hell did you tell him?"
Kyle bit his lip and averted his eyes, "I… um, well… I sorta panicked when he sorta panicked… And I said you said you were taking me to homecoming and then… I, um… How much?"
Kenny pulled the drawstrings of his hoodie, "No way. No way in hell am I gonna cart you around like my little boyfriend for a whole week."
"Oh, come on! It's just so I can see if he gets…" Kyle paused, reaching for words, "Y'know, jealous-ish."
"Jealous-ish?"
"…Jealous-ish."
Kenny shook his head, "Ugh… I don't really do together. Hit-and-run, y'know?"
"I'm not going to dwell on that, but come on! I know you're broke again."
"Nor do I do guys."
Kyle's face flushed. It did that a lot, didn't it? "Shut up, asshole. I just wanna see if it bothers him, y'know, like that. I'm assessing the situation. If he gives a shit, then I ask him out. He doesn't care? Well, I'll deal."
"Kind of a coward's way out, isn't it?" Kenny made a face.
Kyle sighed, "I'll give you fifty bucks."
Kenny thought about it. "Fifty bucks…" He thought some more, "Make it sixty."
"Deal."
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Kenny did not miss the constant wary stares he received from Stan all through his last period. Kenny, though, didn't really mind, and simply stared ahead, attempting in vain to appear as if he were paying attention. He wasn't, but he felt guilty if he just fell asleep on his desk when he'd made the effort to drag himself here in the first place.
The thought was followed by a mental sigh when he realized that dragging himself here had earned him a temporary boyfriend. And sixty bucks, but still. Boyfriend… Weird. Very weird. Kenny never thought he'd end up doing anything as weird as… boyfriend.
But he really did need the money, and so suffered past the idea of it to think about what he was actually supposed to do.
Did that mean he had to go to conspicuous places and make out? Hold hands in hallways, or- or-
He halted his thoughts. Better just to ask Kyle what he was supposed to do. Don't dwell upon nasty thoughts.
And finally, finally, the bell sounded. Kenny was out of his seat and to the door at record speeds, when Stan stopped him.
"Hey," Stan nodded at Kenny, "Can I talk?"
Kenny shrugged, "Sure."
He slowed his pace, and they both turned to the railing of the upstairs crosswalk.
"When did you two… um, y'know, hook up?" Stan asked awkwardly, "And… why?"
Kenny shrugged nonchalantly, shitshitshit! Craaaaap, say something! "The other day, after that big fight. And, well… you know. Kyle's cool."
"But, I mean… Come on. Kenny, I've known you since we were three years old. I've never met a kid more obsessed with chicks in my life, you've never had a steady girlfriend based on anything but sex, and you expect me to believe you suddenly fell head over heels for Kyle enough to go against everything you've ever done? Really? Even I'm not that stupid."
"I… I … uh…" Kenny floundered for words, "Yes. Yes I do."
Stan let his breath out, "Come on. Tell me the truth. What are you up too? I swear to all that is good and holy, Kenny, if you hurt my friend I'll break your face." He threatened dangerously, and Kenny felt a pang of hurt in his chest. He was talking like they weren't friends. Were they anymore? It didn't really feel like it. Friends didn't threaten each other like that. Not seriously.
He laughed awkwardly, "What, aren't we friends?"
Stan glared silently, and Kenny let the tender smile slip.
"What about Wendy, asshole?"
It was Kenny's turn to blush, "Damn, man, I was hammered."
"Was she?"
"What?"
"Was she drunk?"
Kenny rubbed his nose nervously, "Well… um... I don't…"
"Kenny, dammit, was she drunk?"
"I… I don't think so, no…"
Stan made a low, curse sounding noise under his breath, "Just hurry up and give me an excuse to kill you, why don't you?"
Kenny's eyes softened sadly at the hostility, "Do what you have too. So will I."
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"Hey, so what am I supposed to do, exactly?" Kenny shifted his phone against his ear.
"I dunno. Whatever the hell you normally do with your girlfriends." Kyle said from the other end of the line.
Kenny laughed, "I don't think that's a good idea. I've never had a girlfriend I haven't fucked by the second date."
Kyle laughed, but very uncomfortably, "Um… Okay, minus that part then."
"Um… minus that part…" Keny thought very hard about it. What else was there… Oh, right- "I dunno, that mean I'm supposed to take you on a date?"
"No, we just need to play the part when Stan's around, y'know?"
"Hm. I think he might want to kill me."
"What?"
"Nothing, nevermind. I'm still not doing anything tonight, so you wanna catch a movie anyway?"
"Eh? Oh. No, I don't have any money. I had to give it all to you, remember?"
Kenny frowned, "I'll pay."
"You don't have to do that."
"Naw, I want to." Why did I just say that?
"Um… I guess if you're okay with it. Sure. What's out?"
Kenny brightened, "Saw Five!"
"…No."
Kenny sighed, "Gamers?"
"Rated R. We're still sixteen."
"Fake ID, duh."
"…I'm not gonna use your fake ID to see a movie, idiot…"
"What? No, I made you one, too…I just forgot to give it to you."
"You made me a-! Why?! Agh- no. No, no, no, I don't want to know."
"Aw. Poor sport."
"Um…9 is out…" Changing subjects, perhaps?
"Saw it already," Kenny sighed.
"There's nothing out! Argh."
"I don't have a TV anymore,or I'd offer."
"Um… I do. Wanna come over?"
"Sure. Should I nick a DVD, or do you have something you haven't seen?"
"God, Kenny… Stop stealing shit."
Kenny was taken aback, "What? Nobody ever misses the stuff. It's not like I'm doin' Grand Theft Auto or anythin'."
"Yeah, but you're gonna get caught one day."
Kenny shrugged, even though Kyle couldn't see it, "So? I die, I get out of it. Clean break."
"Not cool, man. Not cool."
"Whad'ya mean?"
"You really should stop dying so much. One of these days, you aren't gonna get back up, y'know?"
Kenny smiled grimly, despite himself, you have no idea. "Whatever. I'll see you in five, 'lright?"
"Yeah." Kenny hung up.
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Draik: Kenny, stop making fake IDs!
Kyle: Nu! I wants mine!
Stan: Did he make me one?
Kenny: Duh. *tosses ID*
Stan: Sweeeeeet.
Draik: Nooo! You're supposed to NOT want those! Cut it out! DX
Kenny: But… I made them! ;___; THEY'RE SPECIAL NOW!
Draik: They're also ILLEGAL. =_= You can't have a fake ID unless you can handle it. Kenny can handle it.
Kyle: Can I handle it?
Draik: No.
Stan: Hey, wait a minute. If we're like sixteen now and that party where Kenny was getting it on with Wendy was last year… That means she'd be fifteen right?
Kenny: Um… I though she was Bebe?
Stan: But doesn't that mean I could just report you as a sex offender if I ever get pissed at you? Seeing as the legal age is like sixteen.
Kenny: …oh shit…
Draik: *scribbling* Ohhhh! Good, good! I like it…
Kenny: YOU'RE GIVING HER IDEAS, YOU BASTARD!
Stan: oh. Didn't mean to do THAT…. D8
Kyle: …I want a bigger role in this story…
Kenny: Eh?
Kyle: Kenny's OBVIOUSLY the main character- again, dammit- and him and Stan have got a rivalry thing happening, and all I can say is 'let's watch movies and pretend we're going out so I can make the jock jealous?'
Stan: Hey!
Draik: Um… You get a bigger part in the next chapter anyway. Notice Kenny didn't get too depressed here? Nor did he sing? Trust me, you'll get to deal with emo Kenny who likes to sing in graveyards without music.
Kyle: …Do I have to?
Draik: Yes.
Kyle: ;_____;
Caturday - DEAR GOD. I'm sorry. ;___; I take it back.
Kip McBear- ...Condisering that is impossible since, despite Caturday's apparant gender (SORRYSORRY) I'm still a chick. 0_o Good luck. But... um, thank you. I think.
Broflove: OMIGOD. Thank you! Nice long review, makes me all warm and fuzzeh. X3 And how do you giggle like a money? 0.o
Emo-Nerdy-Insane-Writer - LOL shouldn't that be, I dunno, predictable by now? XD My stories aren't so original. XD Anyway, glad to see you again. :D