Title: I'll Always Be Right There
Author: AbayJ aka Ashley Marie
Rating: T
Disclaimer: I own nada, Never Say Never belongs to the Fray.
Genre: Drama/Angst/AU/Romance/Songfic
Fandom: Journey
Summery: Nothing could bring her back, at least that was she believed but that was before she read the headline.
Author's Note: The next chapter in this. This time it's from Jason's POV. We've seen how Courtney is dealing with this, I've decided to give you a peak at how Jason's dealing with all of this. And a few other characters, besides Courtney & Marky, appear in this chapter. Sam, Carly, Sonny, Elizabeth, and the Satan spawn, oops, I mean Jake make an appearance. (To anyone who is a Liaison fan reading this, sorry. Not a fan, but I hope that doesn't make you angry, just joking.)
Author's Note Two: I would like everyone to check out my homepage, I have a poll going as well as my new updating schedule which I am going to keep. I am working, going to school, and have a demanding boyfriend but I will try my best to keep this schedule cause I think I have been a horrible Fan Fiction author. Also, STILL looking for a beta who can work with me on a WIDE range of genre's, check out my story list to see. If interested, PM me!
Part Four: Never Say Never
There's some things we don't talk about
Rather do without
And just hold the smile
Falling in and out of love
Ashamed and proud of
Together all the while
I entered the hospital, Max fast on my heels. He had been following me around, mostly out of necessity for weeks now and it was starting to get on my nerves. I wasn't used to be looking after, I looked after people instead. Shaking my head, I reached up to run a hand through my hair but with no feeling, I knew it would give me no comfort. "Dammit." I cursed beneath my breath.
I was dealing with this, the lost of my hands. Deal with maybe never holding a gun again, never tuning up my bike, and never holding my son again. The reason I was here. I was dealing with all of that and I thought I was doing a pretty damn good job at it, but it wasn't easy. Only thing easy about this had been seeing her, she had made my life bearable for the past few days. And she had made me feel things I thought I never would. Not after the ringer Sam had put me through and after all the push and pull Elizabeth and I had done. She made me feel alive again, and it shouldn't be so surprising. It wasn't the first time that had happen between her and I. It was actually almost funny how similar our start was to what we were doing now. Even the hiding bit was the same.
Shaking my head, I walked to where a group of people were standing. How Carly, Sam, and Sonny had all found out about Jake surprised me. And then I heard the arguing. I wanted to dodge it. I wanted to avoid at all cost, so I did. I walked behind the back wall out of their eye sight line and found Robin standing at the nurses station. She gave me a smile. "Hey, here to see Jake?" She asked calmly, her eyes going to my hands before looking at me.
"Their okay Robin and yeah, I am. Do you know what room. I'd like to avoid a scene." I mutter, glancing over my shoulder to make sure no one had noticed I was here. Glad they hadn't lifted their head from the bickering they were dealing with. "Why are they all here?" I asked her. Wondering if she had any clues. I was wishing the one person who wasn't here was. She gave me a sense of calm. Except where her lips were on mine, then I was anything but calm.
Once again I shake my head. Getting the image and feel of her lips out of my mind. Robin's voice broke through and I let my focus fall back to her. "Yeah, I do. Jake was brought in by his babysitter and we couldn't get a hold of Lucky, because he is out of town doing something for the FBI. Then we couldn't get hold of Elizabeth, so the nurse went down the list. Sam's actually a contact, Lucky put her down a few weeks ago for when he was out of town. Then Elizabeth got our message and this started the first fight of the evening between her and Sam. Carly showed up later, I guess Sam told her about Jake in hopes she could reach you." She said and I sighed. Knowing even more I didn't want to get in the middle of it.
You can never say never
Why we dont know when
Time and time again
Younger now than we were before
"Thanks." I mumbled quickly, part of me guilty that this was taking place in the public. Knowing it was partly my fault. I shake my head again and took a deep breath, giving Robin the best smile I could. "Do you have Jake's room?" I asked and she pulled out a chart and nodded. "1302. He's alright by the way. Just a little bump on the head." I let out a long breath I hadn't known I was holding and nodded. Walking past the nurses station but staying on the far wall out of all their sight, I find his room.
I stood by the door for a moment as the nurse fussed over him and then laid him back into the crib. She looked up at me after she was done and I gave her a smile as well. "He's alright. Just a little bump. He's probably more sick from getting so upset then the pain actually." She said and as she past me, she looked at my hands and then back at me.
"Do you want to hold him. If you want to sit down, I can put him in your arms for you." She said, I looked down at her. Glad to see there was no pitty in her eyes, just understanding. If it had been the former, I would have told her know but instead, I nodded.
"Thank you." I said and she nodded.
"You're not the first father to have this problem, sometimes it's the hands, most of the time it's the leg. But you are the first to accept my help without thinking it's pitty." She said with a large smile and I almost felt a blush tinge my cheeks. Almost.
Don't let me go
Don't let me go
Don't let me go
Walking to the chair, I sat down and she brought Jake over to me. He had gotten so big since I had seen him last. She laid him in my arms and I looked down at him. A swelling of pride infusing me. He was beautiful. I leaned my head down to kiss his softly. After a few moments, I looked over at the nurse, I didn't want to be seen with him to long. Lucky was his father now, I was just a part-time in the closet dad.
The nurse walked briskly over and reached for him, giving me another smile, and I lifted myself out of the chair. "Has his mom been in?" I asked.
"Oh yes, she just went down to speak to her Grandmother."
I nodded, that made sense, Audrey was a large part of Elizabeth's life, as well as my son's. Glad that I didn't have to deal with another push, pull, angst moment with Elizabeth I quickly ducked out of the door and headed for the hallway.
Don't let me go
Don't let me go
Don't let me go
"He's my SON! You and Sam have no say on how I raise him. Jason is TO dangerous to allow him into my son's life. I called him, and when he shows up, he will be allowed to visit him. You, Sonny, and Sam should not. It would raise to many eyebrows and people could put it together." Elizabeth's voice carried as I got closer and closer to the elevator.
"C'mon on Carly." I heard Sonny's voice trying to calm his new wife, for the seventh time around, down.
"You're a hypocritical lying bitch. I'm glad Jason's washed his hands of you." She spat as she allowed Sonny to drag her towards the elevator. Mumbling more curses to Sonny under her breath about Elizabeth. Shaking my head, I wanted to reach up and run my fingers through my hair once more but I paused. Stopping myself. It was hard to remember that no comfort, like it used too, would come from the simple gesture.
Once Carly and Sonny had taken one of the elevators, I peeked to see if Sam or Elizabeth's eyes were focused this way. "I have a right to see Jake, he will be my step son soon." Sam said, her voice oddly calm.
"Over my dead body will you ever be alone with my son. You WATCHED him get kidnapped."
"Haven't I paid for that sin yet Elizabeth. I lost the love my life, his respect, and I nearly lost Lucky." Sam countered and I almost agreed with her. She had suffered a lot, all of my doing, and I forgave her.
"No, you will never pay enough for that sin." Elizabeth said coldly and walked off. Shaking my head, I decided to take the stair way. Glad to have missed that scene and all the others. With Max still behind me, being quiet and following my lead, I let him open the door.
Picture you're the queen of everything
As far as the eye can see
Under your command
I will be your guardian
When all is crumbling
Steady your hand
"Everyone seems really worried about Jake." He says as we take the stairs and I just nod. "Where to Jason?" He asked as we reached the landing of the parking lot staircase.
"Courtney's." I say simply. Letting him open the passenger side door once we reached the car and leaning back in the seat. Letting my eyes drift close. Glad my son was okay and looking forward to feeling okay too.
"Sure thing boss."
You can never say never
Why we dont know when
Time, time and time again
Younger now then we were before
CPOV
Don't let me go
Don't let me go
Don't let me go
Pacing the floor was not something I THAT often. Well, maybe I did but I tried not to do it in front of my son. He was perceptive and would be able to tell I was worried. I didn't want my children to feel like Michael or Morgan, to worry about their parents. Taking a deep breath I sat at the desk, I had some papers I needed to sign for the charity, so new renovations to the orphanage in Spain. It was one of the largest of the many orphanages my charity worked with. In the heart of Barcelona in an old abandon Catholic church, which most people didn't understand. Barcelona was a large city and already had so many orphanages, why would I choose there, when there were so many other countries could use it. It probably was because I had planned on having a fresh start there with Jason and I wanted to give others their start as well, in memory of my dreams with Jason.
I had been foolish to think I was ever really over him. That orphanage was a shrine to our dreams and memories. Growling in frustration, I leaned my head down and banged it on the desk.
"Mama?" I jerked my head up, not releasing I had banged it so loudly, loudly enough to make my son notice and abandoned his TV show.
"It's nothing baby, c'mon, time for bed." He had already ate a dinner at the Metro Court and had his bath, now it was time to tuck him in.
Shuffling his feet towards his room, he hopped into bed and pulled the cover over himself. Walking towards him, I flipped on the TV on my way to his favorite pre-school channel, and tucked the covers over him. "Is Jason coming back?"
Don't let me go
Don't let me go
Don't let me go
He asked and I took a steadying breath. "I'm not sure honey but I'm sure he'll say goodbye before go back to Paris next week."
He nodded and flipped over on his side. Kissing his forehead I turned out the light, knowing the sounds and the light of the TV would be enough to comfort him. He had gained that terrible habit from me, I had to have the TV on when I went to bed at night, made you feel as if you weren't so alone. Nick at Nite was my channel of choice of course. Closing his door softly, I headed for the mini bar. Grabbing the small bottle of vodka, I poured myself a glass and added orange juice with some ice. Needing a drink to calm me down after his question. It was the reason I had never let a man get close, he would start to care of him and I was never sure if it would last. Jason had the same effect on both of us though. Cause I wanted him to come back as much, if not more, than Marky did.
Taking my drink and the remote to the couch, I curled on the end of it, flipping it to Nick at Nite, glad to see the Nanny was on. It would keep my occupied for now.
After the first two episodes of Mr. Sheffield not getting the hint about Fran being in love with him I was about to turn it off, tired of waiting for the knock at the door and calling my self ten kinds of a fool, when it happened. The knock. Biting my lip, I place my glass down on the coffee table. It would be stupid too go open the door, and even stupider to let him in, but then again stupid is as stupid does and I was walking towards the door before I even knew it. Opening it before I could stop myself. And looking into those blue eyes before I could slap myself.
We're pulling apart and coming together again and again
We're growing apart but we pull it together, pull it together, together again
"Jason."
As soon as I breath his name his lips were on mine and I was right back to where I was this afternoon. In love with him.
Don't let me go
Don't let me go
Don't let me go
Don't let me go
Don't let me go
Don't let me go
Author's Note: Also, please read my homepage, got some important info being posted there! :) And as always, feed my addiction because rehab is REALLY expensive!