Summary: He thought she hated him. She thought she was just bragging rights. He kept missing his chances. She was running away scared. A story of love that follows Lily and James from 6th year until graduation. R/R!

Disclaimer: So no one sues me, I'm not JKR, I could never compare to JKR and you all know that. She is the almighty goddess of all things Harry Potter/magic. Her riches are not mine. Enjoy!

May…

"…so if you two would kind of look out for it and tell me how you like it, that would be great," James said.

Remus quirked an eyebrow. "Wait a minute," he said, "the only reason you drug me and Peter out here was so you could make us watch a new Quidditch play?" He scoffed. "I was studying with Aurelia!"

"And I was eating!" Peter chirped.

James rolled his eyes. "You always eat Peter, and Remus, I think you're more upset about having to leave Aurelia than studying."

Remus' face turned bright red, but before he could retort, Rita walked to the three boys standing at the stadium seating entrance.

"All right guys?" Rita asked once she reached the top.

"All right, Rita," they chorused together, Remus a little grumpily. "Funny you show up…" James said cheerily.

Smiling a little, Rita replied, "Actually, it's not. You see, I'm apart of the Gryffindor Quidditch team and, according to my calendar; we have practice in a few minutes."

Smacking her slightly, James said, "No, I meant it was funny because Remus here was just discussing – "

At that moment Remus pulled out his wand and pointed it directly into James' face. "If you say one more word," Remus said dangerously although there was a mischievous twinkle in his eye, "I swear you will never live to see another day."

Giggling and holding her hands up defensively, Rita said, "As long as it's not about me."

"Oh no," James said, waggling his finger at Rita while still keeping his eye trained on Remus. "Oh no, this is about a certain friend of yours – "

" – and Remus' feelings about her!" Peter said, unable to contain himself.

Remus' wand was now pointed at Peter's face while James turned to Rita. "He's never been terribly clever," James said, nodding to Peter, "but at least he gets to the point, eh?"

Before any more of them could say another word, Sirius suddenly appeared, flying over the stands and landing smoothly on the ground. "Guess what gentlemen? And lady," Sirius nodded in Rita's direction, seemingly not realizing Remus ready to jinx hostages held at wand point. "I have officially broken up with Parul."

There were "Congratulations!" passed instead of the usual "Oh no" 's or "I'm sorry" 's when someone recently breaks up with their significant other. "What knocked the sense into you?" Remus asked, stowing away his wand.

Grinning and shaking the hair out of his face, Sirius replied, "I don't know mate, it just hit me, you know? Like, did you ever notice how whiny, self-centered, clingy and annoying she is?"

Sarcastically, Sirius' fellow Marauder's cried, "No way!"

"Yeah," Sirius nodded and laughed. He turned to Rita. "Well? You've also told me how much you disliked her, what do you think?"

Rita had not joined in the joyful cries, but had stood back, watching Sirius through somewhat teary eyes and a slight smile. She shook herself quickly and said, "Well, if you're happy about it then I am."

Sirius scanned her face for a moment and took a step towards her, but before he could proceed with whatever he was about to do, Gina arrived and blew her whistle. "Potter! Black! Garbunkal! Why haven't you been in the air? Move!"

"I still can't believe we were pulled out here to watch them practice," Remus said as he and Peter settled on a top row bench.

Snorting, Peter said, "You just want to sit around and flirt with – "

A burst of white light followed by a bang caused Peter's legs to dance wildly and a few Quidditch players to crash into each other.

The whistle sounded again. "IF YOU ARE GOING TO BE A DISTRACTION YOU CAN LEAVE!" Gina screamed and Remus and Peter cowered, gave her a thumbs up sign and sat quiet throughout the rest of the practice.

"…and if she doesn't stop leaving her clothes all over the room, I swear…" Aurelia trailed off crossly, curling her legs on the couch more comfortably.

"Don't start trouble," Lily said warningly, fanning herself with a nearby pamphlet advertising careers for 5th years. "What she's doing isn't wrong, she's a perfectly nice person. Goodness it's hot!" Lily pointed her wand at the fire and the flames went down to slightly flickering embers.

Sighing, Aurelia said, "She needs to stop gossiping about every little detail in everybody's lives."

"Me and you do that! Rita does that!" Lily said indignantly. "You can't say that's annoying about Calypso when we do it too, that's being a hypocrite."

Aurelia rolled her eyes. "Its overkill, the way she does it. And hurtful…why are you even defending her?"

"Because she's been my room mate for six years, I like her and she's human! Humans make mistakes and they shouldn't be prosecuted for them unless they are intended to cause extreme pain to others."

Aurelia snorted and gave Lily a knowing and slightly superior look. "Now you're being a hypocrite. What about James all these years? And then Fay just a few months ago?"

Lily's stern gaze turned soft and vulnerable instantly. She shook her head. "Pl-please don't talk to me about him," she said gently.

There was a pause in the conversation that had previously been a bitter argument. "What happened between you two?" Aurelia asked curiously. "Everything was going so great and then suddenly – "

"Please Aurelia!" Lily asked desperately, then lowered her head and covered her mouth with trembling fingers. Talking about James physically hurt her.

Shaking her head, Aurelia stood. "Fine, but I want to talk about it at some point. Remus just walked in, I'll see you later."

Lily shrugged her shoulders a little, not giving Aurelia any real response. Groaning a little, Aurelia walked over to Remus who had just entered the common room with Sirius. "She won't tell me anything about James…" Aurelia whispered to both guys. "She's fine with any other subject, but once you hit James or anything that relates to him, she gets so weird."

"I'm on it," Sirius said, taking a step towards the sofa where Lily was sitting, her head still hanging down.

"No, Sirius, I really don't think it's a good idea!" Aurelia said hurriedly, but Sirius had begun walking to Lily after Rita spoke the first three words.

Remus smiled a little, stepping nervously closer to Aurelia. "Sirius is like a two year old, he doesn't listen."

Aurelia turned to him and blushed, noticing his proximity. "Yeah, I've noticed," she said, trying to sound normal and not nervous. "They were doing so well together, Lily and James. We need to find a way to get them talking again."

"Hmm," Remus said. He grabbed her hand and pulled her to a corner table in the common room. "Let's hatch a plan."

"Is this seat taken?" Sirius asked Lily, pointing to the space on the couch where Aurelia had just been.

Lily looked up and shook her head a little. "What's up?" she asked, but her voice cracked.

Sirius gave her a quizzical look as he sat. "Nothing…is something wrong?"

Lily shook her head and opened her mouth to instantly defend her dejected demeanor, but the words wouldn't come out. Lily looked up into Sirius' inquisitive face and wondered…he was James' best friend, after all. She could ask for his help. "Well, um," she began, her voice low. "Okay, I-I…if I talk to you, you can't talk about this with anyone, alright?"

"Promise," Sirius said nonchalantly. "What's going on?"

Exhaling deeply, Lily began. "I don't know what to do about James."

Sirius raised an eyebrow. "What do you mean by that?" he asked, irritation etched in his voice.

"It's just…well, I haven't felt this way about anyone before and it's so strange, it just sorta hit me. I might've been trying to ignore it because we're supposed to be enemies but there's just something so different about him…I'm not making much sense am I?"

Snorting, Sirius replied a little tensely, "Not really. So you like James? A lot?"

Lily shrugged. "I-I don't know. I know he likes me, well; actually, I don't because sometimes I get this feeling that he just wants to, you know, conquer me. And then if he's not and if we go out, what if it's not the way he thought it would be? What if I'm just a disappointment? And if I don't go out with him, will he be okay? Will I? I just don't know…"

Lily looked at Sirius hopelessly and was surprised to see Sirius' face harden. "I can't believe you. You actually think James is that much of an arrogant prat?" Lily opened her mouth to retort but Sirius spoke quickly. "No, he doesn't want to conquer you. It makes me sick how much he talks about you and tries to find some way for you to accept him. Yes, he can be really arrogant and he can be an arse, but everyone can. So can you, I've seen you act the same way he does towards him."

"I only thought – " Lily started, but was interrupted again.

"I don't care. Do you realize James is changing his own personality just in hopes that you might accept him? I don't know about you, but I would hate it if someone changed who they are for me."

Lily glared. "Really? That's funny, because I think James changes himself for you also. Whenever he's around you, he bullies people more just to impress you, I believe."

"Don't turn this around on me!" Sirius hissed.

"Well then quit insulting me!" Lily retorted. "I poured out my heart to you, hoping since you were his best friend you could help me get some insight into who he is. I can't tell what's going on with him! One minute he acts like a normal, likable person and then he does something completely disgusting that makes me believe he only wants to get in my knickers."

Sirius stood angrily. Remus and Aurelia looked up from the conversation and exchanged worried looks from across the room. "If you honestly think that then you are a bloody idiot and I can't help you."

Lily stood also. "You haven't seen him when he's alone with me. He's impossible to figure out and I just wanted your help."

"You want my help?" Sirius asked, stepping closer to her. "Then quit playing with his head. Quit acting all cozy with him and then yelling at him the next minute. Quit using him for your own personal comfort and then treating him like shit when he needs you. Use your head and live up to the saintly reputation you hold at this bloody school."

The fire had gone out of Lily's eyes and she stepped back, hurt. "I didn't think I was doing that," she whispered. "I've felt like he was playing games with me. I-I…" but she didn't finish her thought and just sat heavily onto the sofa, her face in her hand.

Sirius immediately felt like an arse, but then he reminded himself that she needed a reality check. "Listen Lily," he said quietly, sitting down again and taking her hand in what he hoped was a comforting way, "you needed to hear this. I'm sorry it came out like that, but you needed to know how much you've been hurting him."

Lily nodded slightly. "Thanks, I did need to hear that. And I'm sorry about what I said."

Sirius shrugged. "S'alright, James is just a very easily influenced person. He sort of bends to peer pressure."

"I think he's stronger than you think," Lily said, grinning a little. Sirius smiled back and squeezed her hand.

"What's this?" a voice said from the common room entrance. Sirius and Lily looked towards it and saw James standing there, broom in hand and fury in his eyes. "What's going on?"

Sirius and Lily yanked their hands apart. "Listen, mate," Sirius started, but James raised a hand to stop him from talking and walked briskly to the boy's dormitory stairs.

Lily stood, her strong demeanor crumbling. "James!" she called and James stopped in mid step, but he did not turn. "Please look at me…" Lily said quietly.

James stood still, his head looking down at his feet splitting the stairs. "I can't, Lily, I don't know what to feel about you anymore," he said, using her own words against her as he continued up the stairs.

"Alright, so…we are meeting to discuss two of our thickheaded friends," Sirius said importantly, looking at the people sitting around him in a circle in an unused classroom.

"What exactly happened yesterday?" Rita asked and Peter nodded eagerly. They were the only two who had not been present in the common room the day previously.

Together, Remus, Aurelia and Sirius explained the events of yesterday. "And it's a shame," Aurelia said, "because they were getting along so great before Lily's parents passed."

"Since they are too blind to see how much they like each other," Remus continued, "we need to figure out a way to get them together. Any ideas?"

Aurelia raised her hand and Remus laughed, turning to her, their knees bumping as they were sitting so close. "Yes Aurelia?" he said in an authoritative voice.

"My question is, why do we have to meddle in their lives?" she asked. "They're mature enough to handle it themselves."

Rita laughed. "Righhhht," she said, "And the Slytherins are going to walk into the Great Hall tomorrow and give daisies to everyone in lieu of friendship."

Sirius let out a bark like laugh and hi-fived Rita. "My vote," Sirius said, "is we find a spell that binds them together until they kiss and make up. Or just a spell that locks their lips together."

All pondered this suggestion for a moment before Peter said, "But they would figure out a way to undo it, they're both really smart."

"Good point," Remus said, "but we can still keep it on the list for an idea."

"We could send them each a letter declaring their undying love for one another," Rita suggested.

Aurelia shook her head. "Lily would know it's a joke and would probably recognize it isn't his handwriting."

"Same with James," Sirius said, but then suddenly snapped his fingers. "Got it! They can't see each other until the right moment, but – "

"I really don't get why you wanted to study in the library," James whispered, scribbling something on a piece of parchment and then turned a page in a book. "Why not the common room?"

Sirius looked at his watch for the thousandth time, tapping his quill impatiently on an open book. "Because the common room is too crowded and noisy and anybody who's below fifth year isn't taking final exams seriously enough," he said without any real conviction.

James looked at him doubtfully. "You aren't either; we've been here twenty minutes and you haven't turned one page."

"There's a lot of information on this page!" Sirius said indignantly and was shushed by Madam Pince.

Around James' shoulder Sirius saw Lily's bright hair swing into sight, carrying an armful of books. Rita appeared a second later behind her, waving frantically at Sirius. "James!" Sirius said loudly, cringing a moment later. He looked over James' shoulder quickly but it didn't seem that Lily heard the mention of James' name. "I need a new book!" Sirius continued. "Lets go!" Sirius pulled a puzzled James up and heaved him to a row of books far from Lily.

Sirius contemplated what to do next. He would need to keep James away from Lily until 10:45 when Remus and Aurelia would have ushered all other people out of the library. He had already cast a spell on James' watch to make it move much slower so it was about half an hour behind. "Sirius!" James hissed and Sirius jumped. "What book do you need?"

"Er," Sirius replied intelligently. "Something about advanced Charms…"

James rolled his eyes edgily. "The Charms section is on the other side of the library. Come on – "

"No! Not Charms!" Sirius said in a panic. "Er, actually, about barns!"

"What is with you?" James asked angrily. "First you're getting cozy with Lily – "

"I've already told you," Sirius interrupted with gritted teeth. "We weren't doing anything, just talking."

James snorted and crossed his arms, looking up at the ceiling. "Funny, I don't believe talking requires holding hands and gazing at one another wistfully."

"How poetic," Sirius said scathingly, looking at his watch again. 10:47. "I'm sick of your attitude, so I'm just going to go. Don't bother following me."

Proud of the ready made escape that presented itself to him, Sirius "stormed" out of the aisle of books, Summoned all his things and walked out of the library. He was immediately faced with Remus, Aurelia, Peter and Rita. "What took you so long?" Rita asked.

Grunting, Sirius said, "I'm just two minutes late, I got into another fight with James about mine and Lily's secret romance."

"You have a secret romance with Lily?" gasped Peter genuinely.

Sirius rolled his eyes and didn't answer Peter. Instead he took his wand out and pointed it discretely at Madam Pince through a crack in the library door. He muttered a few words and Madam Pince's face became momentarily dazed and, a second later, snapped back into her usual sharp intensity.

They watched carefully as Madam Pince turned the lights low in the library and gathered a bag. A moment later she walked out of the library, leaving Lily and James alone. "Okay, me and Aurelia will lock these doors," Remus instructed, "Sirius and Rita, lock the other ones. Peter, continue keeping watch over the hallways, yeah?"

Peter nodded as Rita and Sirius walked briskly to the other doors, casting spells that would keep the doors locked until three in the morning.

Inside the library James and Lily noticed the light dimming and down and both wondered if they had overstayed their welcome. Each put down what they were working on and walked out to the main part of the library where the checkout counter was. Both spotted the other at the same time. "What are you doing here?" they asked simultaneously.

"I'm studying," Lily replied first. "Can't imagine what you'd be doing in a library without me to grope."

Immediately after she said it, Lily winced. It was exactly what Sirius had warned her against – treating James like he was disposable to her.

James looked sour at her comment. "I actually am studying, I'm not as all knowing as you like to boast to everyone."

Lily glared. "I don't boast."

"And I'm not an idiotic pervert." There was an agitated pause. "If you treat me like an irksome fly then I'll do the same to you."

Sighing, Lily shrugged and said, "I'm sorry. I don't know why I treat you like that. It's just…we've hated each other for so long I can't seem to break the habit when we were becoming friends."

James gave her a piercing look. "I never hated you, Lily, I made fun of you because I liked you."

"Well, not hated per say…" Lily began, but she didn't know how to make what she said less hurtful. Lily tapped her fingers on her hips anxiously while James put his hands nervously in his pockets. "So, I take it you noticed the lamps dimming too?"

Nodding, James asked, "Doesn't that only happen when the library closes?"

"I thought so…maybe we should leave," Lily said.

They gave each other a long look, then walked to where their belongings sat and gathered them up. They met at the nearest doors and James pulled on the door handle, but it wouldn't budge. James jiggled the door handle a few more times and Lily fumbled for her wand. "Alohomora!" Lily said, but the door did not click open. "Strange…the doors are never locked…" Lily muttered, staring at the handle.

James looked up at the ceiling and closed his eyes, groaning lightly. Lily gave him a curious stare. "Sirius, Remus and Peter are behind this," James muttered, rolling his head forward until it hit the wooden door with a loud thump. "They've been whispering together for a few days and every time I came close to them they stopped immediately. I heard them mention the library a few times."

Lily looked bemused. "But what's the point of this? And why am I here with you?"

"Probably some sort of ploy to – " James cut himself off, realization dawning.

"A ploy to what?" Lily asked, but James shook his head.

"I dunno…"

But he wasn't convincing and Lily continued to scrutinize him. "Well, whatever it is I'm sure the doors will only unlock at a certain time, so we might as well make ourselves comfortable," James said, walking a little ways away from the door. He pulled a random book of a nearby shelf, waved his wand across it a few times and it turned into a pillow. "D'you want one?" James asked.

Lily looked at James doubtfully. "Can you change it back?"

"Sure, no problem," James said with a shrug, taking another book off a shelf and transfiguring it into a pillow also.

They found a spot to sit against an unoccupied wall where they could prop their pillows up to make the stone more snug. "You are really good with Transfiguration, you know," Lily said after she had settled herself comfortably.

James shrugged, trying decide if he could scoot closer to her without her noticing or getting upset; he was already barely a couple inches away. "It just comes naturally, like you with Potions and Charms."

Lily gave him a small smile. "I suppose. But whenever I do manage to transfigure something I can never change it back to its original state."

Laughing, James nudged her a little with his arm. "Well then, I guess you'll just have to always keep me around and handy to fix that."

Lily grinned and nudged him back, feeling a small thrill every time she touched him. "I really should just give up that subject, but I need it to be a Healer."

James looked over at her in surprise. "A Healer? Really?" he asked.

Shrugging, Lily said, "Yeah, you need N.E.W.T.'s in just about everything." She stretched her arms over her head and then rested them on either side of her body.

James cleared his throat nervously. Her hand was so close to his, practically touching. At that moment he wanted more than anything to just hold it. "Why did you decide on Healer?" James asked, his voice low as he worked to keep it steady. Why did she have this effect on him?

"Hmm," Lily said thoughtfully, tilting her head upwards. "I don't know. When I was little I used to want to be a veterinarian. Then my – " she paused and took a deep breath. "My mother became a nurse and since then I wanted to be a doctor. Since there aren't any 'doctors' in the Wizarding World, I suppose Healers were the closest thing."

Lily looked down at the floor to her left, determinedly away from James. He supposed she had tears in her eyes. Still resisting the strongest urge to touch her, James said, "That's cool, very motivated. I know you'll make a great one."

Wiping her eyes discretely, Lily turned to James and beamed. "Thanks. And what about you? What do you want to be?"

James looked skyward also as if the answer would be written there and gave a low whistle. "Good question…I'm not really sure. Something with stealth would be great since I'm already good at sneaking around," Lily laughed and James smiled, "but I would also like to do something with Transfiguration involved…I don't know, I suppose I'll just see how things go after school."

They talked about their futures, their goals and what imprint they wanted to leave on the world. The discussion carried them for an hour and they fell into a comfortable silence. "What time is it?" Lily asked, her head lolling tiredly on the wall.

James looked at his watch to see that it had only moved ten minutes from the last time he checked it when Sirius was with him. "Damn Sirius, he did something to my watch," James muttered. "No clue what time it is."

"That's a pity, I don't own a watch…" Lily said, yawning. "I'm tired."

Looking down at her, he smiled. "Yes, I can see that."

Lily went to smile back at him, but stopped at the intensity of his hazel gaze. "Do you want to play a game?" she asked uncertainly. "I don't want to fall asleep in the library and be woken up by a bunch of people pointing and laughing tomorrow, a game would keep me awake."

"Sure," James said, "but what game? I don't have any cards with me…"

Energy suddenly radiating through her, Lily swung around to face James instead of sitting next to him. "Okay, put out your hands face down."

James looked a little frightened. "Why?" he asked nervously.

With an impish glint in her eyes, Lily gave him a crafty smile. "You'll see, just do as I say."

Heart racing at just how sexy Lily looked when she was up to something, James put his hands out, keeping his facial expression to look suspicious rather than lusting. Lily slowly settled her hands palms up under his, lulling him into a false sense of security. "So now what, do we just sit here holding hands?" James asked, giving her a playful grin.

Lily's cheeks reddened slightly, to James' delight. "Well…" Lily began quietly and just as James was leaning in to hear her better, Lily's hands moved out from under his at lightening speed and slapped the backs of his hands hard, the sound echoing throughout the library.

"Ow!" James said, shaking his stinging hands. "What the hell kind of game is that?"

Giggling uncontrollably, Lily gasped, "It's…a reflex…game!"

Realization dawned and it was James' turn to be crafty. "Oh Miss Lily Middle Name Evans, you did not just challenge me to a reflex game."

"Lily Amara Evans," Lily gave, "And oh yes, Mister James Middle Name Potter, I did just challenge you to a reflex game."

"James Harold Potter," James gave, "And you are going down."

"I think not," Lily said as she twisted James' outstretched hands upward and rested her own face down. "You see I have an advantage that your Quidditch skills cannot master. I've been playing this game all my life and I know every trick in the book."

"Is that so?" James asked in astonishment. Lily hummed in a superior way. James declined from saying anymore, but stared into Lily's playful emerald eyes, trying to distract her from the fact that he was about to dominate.

After a few minutes, Lily said, "Are you going to try or – " and before she could finish, James slapped his hands so quickly on top of hers Lily was sure it would've only been seen by the naked eye if played back in slow motion.

"Can you beat that, Evans?" James asked.

Smirking and positioning her hands once more, Lily replied, "I know I can, Potter."

They sat still once more, boring into each other's eyes. Lily twitched her hands slightly and James yanked his away. "Cheater!" James said resentfully.

"Nuh-uh," Lily said, reaching and pulling James' hands forward, positioning them correctly. "That's perfectly legal."

James eyed her skeptically. "How do I know you're not lying?"

Lily twitched her hands again and James yanked them back again. "I suppose you'll just have to trust me."

Warily, James put his hands back on Lily's. She continued to twitch them repeatedly but James refused to yank them away. Finally Lily lifted them to slap James but he was ready and grabbed both of her hands in his. "Ha! Worm your way out of this," James said smugly.

"You can't do that!" Lily said defiantly, wriggling her hands hopelessly.

Laughing, James pushed his fingers through her struggling ones to get a better grip. "I want to see a rule book for this unnamed game and then I'll consider letting you go."

Lily rolled her eyes exasperatedly and continued to attempt to escape. "James Potter, if you don't let me go this instant – "

James pulled her forward so they were less than an inch apart. Lily stopped wiggling and looked up into his eyes. "Or you'll do what?" he asked threateningly.

They were silent and still, hands gripping each other. Then Lily came forward a necessary inch and connected her lips lightly onto James'. James mind went into a spiraling whirlwind of jumbled thoughts, yet one was screaming throughout his brain – Lily was kissing him. He stroked the side of her hands with his thumbs and opened his mouth slightly; too afraid to take control and just enjoying the fact the Lily was in charge. She deepened the kiss and untangled her hands from James', reaching around his head to pull him closer. James wrapped his now free hands around Lily's waist, pulling her onto his lap. Lily trapped him against the wall and their previously gentle kiss turned instantly passionate.

"James…" Lily muttered between kisses and James grumbled something unintelligible. He began attacking her neck so viciously that Lily knew it would be bruised, but she didn't care, there were spells to fix it. James was kissing her in ways she had only imagined. She gripped his neck hard as he battered her and she reveled in it. Their lips met again and James pinned Lily to the floor in a quick motion. Lily kissed his jaw line and he wove his hands into her long flaming hair, pulling her as close as he could.

"Is this happening?" James muttered in disbelief. "Are you really here, Lily?"

"Yes," she whispered strongly and found his lips again.

Even though James was in heaven and never wanted to let Lily go, he had to talk to her about it. They were moving extremely fast for two people who had not spoken to each other for a week. "Lily," James said, pulling away a little. Lily looked up, her face flushed as she breathed deeply. "I think we should talk about this."

Lily paused for a moment, then took her hands off of James and sat up, adjusting her skirt. "Talk about what?" she whispered, partly because she was in a library and it was just out of habit and partly because her voice was lost somewhere in limbo.

"Well, we're moving awfully fast," James said a little nervously as he adjusted his glasses needlessly. "I mean, I've been wanting to be with you forever, but we aren't even anything. I don't know if we're even friends, everything's been so…confused lately."

Lily sighed a little. "You don't know if we're friends?" she asked dubiously. "I thought we've been friends since we started studying together."

"Not really," James said and slapped himself after he saw the look on Lily's face.

"Not really?" Lily asked. "What do you mean by that? Did you not even care all this time?"

"No, no!" James said hurriedly, standing. "No! It's just, I don't know anything about you, Lils."

Lily stood also and she crossed her arms. James could see a large red spot that was quickly bruising on her neck and felt hot all over. "Don't call me Lils right now, okay?" James nodded, just trying to find some way to remedy the situation he was stuck in. "I just don't know what you're getting at, James and I wish you would explain to me what you want to talk about."

James shrugged his shoulders lamely. "Us. Where we are and what we are."

Scoffing, Lily replied derisively, "Well, we are locked in the library and we are two students at Hogwarts."

"That's not what I mean!" James shouted heatedly.

Lily raised an eyebrow. "Why are you yelling?"

"I'm not!"

"Yeah, you are right now!"

"Now you're yelling!"

Growling under her breath, Lily said, "This is getting us nowhere."

Silence rang through the library and it was slightly unnerving after the shouting. Timidly, James said, "I-I just don't want things to get out of control. I don't want to ruin this."

"You might've already," Lily mumbled.

James heard and was caught off guard. "What? What do you mean?"

Lily sighed. "It just seems so impossible with us!" she shouted a little. "When things are going great, something happens that makes me doubt everything I feel about you!"

Impatience rose within James. "What do you feel about me then? Because I never know with you! You treat me like shit and then you're all over me then your scolding me and I don't know what to think or how to take it."

"I know!" Lily yelled, grasping each side of her head with her hands. "I know and I don't mean to! I don't even know what I feel about you!"

"Why don't you give it a shot?" James hollered angrily.

Lily growled again. "I like you a lot James, I do, but then I get irrationally angry with you. Maybe it's just how we work, but it's not like anyone else's relationships. There's things I love about you and things I can't stand and I don't know what to do with it all! And I don't even know what you feel about me!" she added as an afterthought.

"You don't?" James asked furiously. "After all this time you really don't? Get it through your thick head; I'm crazy about you! I don't want just a one-night stand sort of thing; I want to be with you. And if you can't realize that I don't know what to tell you."

Lily opened and closed her mouth soundlessly, trying to get something out, but James continued before she could try to produce words. "And yeah, we're not like other people, but that's what makes us so special. Quit trying to be like everyone else and just be you."

"You don't think I am?" Lily found her voice again. "We just don't make sense…but when I'm with you it makes sense. But then I think, what will people say when they see Lily and James, loathed enemies, together?" Lily shouted, although she was not making much sense.

James slammed his hand down on the nearest table and Lily jumped. "Who cares what they say?" There was a livid and short pause before James contradicted, "Actually, you know what they'd say?"

"What?" Lily challenged.

In two long strides James crossed the space between them and kissed Lily so fiercely that she forgot who she was. But she regained consciousness and kissed back with the same intensity. Just as things were getting very impassioned again, there was a loud click and Lily and James broke apart. The library door had swung open.

Lily and James stood there for a long second, staring at the door still wrapped in each other. James was the first to come to his senses and he stepped back from Lily, Summoning his things the same way Sirius did hours before. "You just think about what you want Lily," James said quietly, "because it's too hard liking you and knowing that you don't want to be with me as much as I want to be with you."

And with that, James walked out of the library, leaving Lily perplexed and alone.

Author Notes: In case any one was actually interested in my chapter eight photobucket procrastination, the link is fixed in chapter eight author notes. I forgot FF didn't allow links.

And here is the answer to my question I posed quite a few author notes back. The television character I based Parul off of is Kelly from The Office; only I over exaggerated her haha.

And about the next chapter...a scene in it is one I wrote forever ago and I posted it on this account as a little teaser for this story while I was finishing up Hogsmeade Kiss and it's alternate ending. But since I have to spend eight hours a day outside in blazing 110 degree heat and wake up at four in the morning to get to practice...it will probably be awhile before I have the next chapter out. I start school next Thursday and everyone knows how that goes. I'm hoping to get it done and out this weekend, but I'm not sure. We'll see and please be patient ((smiley face))

R/R!