~oOo~
As they lounged around on the large, faded blue quilt, Sirius was struck by two things.
One being the realization that this was the first time in longer than he could remember that he'd taken a full day to simply enjoy. Enjoy the weather, the smell of the air, the company of a beautiful woman, all without a constant shadow of judgment or regret hanging over his shoulder.
In the many months since he'd returned, he'd done a lot of catching up, and much of it was filled with sadness or tension or both. It was always something - the guilt he felt over not having been able to fulfil his role as Harry's godfather, or the stale and soured bitterness of finally getting to grieve the loss of his friends - his 'family', or the ridiculous yet no less tiring suspicion and criticism laid upon him by those who thought they knew what was best for Harry as well as Hermione. Not to mention the unhappy fact that, while the war was 'over,' there was always some new evil, some rogue group of dark wizards lingering on the periphery of life, just waiting to close in. While that last factor was the reason they were an ocean away from home at the moment, as Sirius took in his surroundings he felt a surge of gratitude at having even just one day to not have to think on it, to truly relax and breathe, and to have Hermione all to himself.
The other thing that surprised and pleased him to no end was the effect their surroundings had on Hermione. He'd watched her since they'd arrived, feeling rather frustrated with himself for having put up a wall between them. The worry and unhappiness about their circumstance had hung over her like a damp cloak, accentuated by a general sense of awkwardness around her distant relatives, and he'd single-handedly managed to distance himself so much that he'd felt powerless to comfort her or help.
Now, however, he could tell she was completely relaxed and at ease both mentally and physically, surprisingly uninhibited as they both lounged around nude in the sunshine. Sirius wondered with a note of concern if the sunscreen her aunt had packed wasn't a little more 'relaxing' than appropriate. He'd hate to think their little halcyon day was more the result of a potion than their true feelings for each other.
"What are you thinking about, Sirius?" Hermione asked lazily, although the smirk on her face belied the innocence of her tone. It was fair enough, he supposed – he'd done it to her.
Taking a breath, he answered, "Oh, I was thinking of how amazing this day has been. I think it's the first time either of us has been truly relaxed in a long time, but I'm wondering if our day here isn't almost too perfect, and I am hoping like hell you haven't been drugged into a sense of security with me that you'll regret later."
Hermione blinked at him several times, then burst out laughing. "Really? Drugged, you say! Hmm. I suppose that could be an explanation," she pondered sarcastically. "Because I cannot begin to fathom any other reason why I'd want to be rolling around on the ground with Sirius Black… Honestly, you sound like a girl, Sirius!"
Sirius rolled his eyes slightly. "Alright, alright Miss Smartypants," he waved his hand and stood up. "Here I'm supposed to be the reckless one, and the one time I get caught thinking cautiously…"
"Where are you going?" she protested, still chuckling.
"To clean up a bit. Surely it's been long enough now to let me into the water?" he asked, referring to some silliness she was apparently taught that they had to wait an hour after eating to enter the lake.
Hermione hummed thoughtfully. "Well as long as you swim with a buddy."
He grinned and held out a hand to haul her up. "Yes, I might need help with the hard-to-reach spots," he muttered against her mouth before giving her bottom lip a small bite and a swipe of his tongue. He swatted her playfully on the rump and took off toward the water at a run with Hermione close on his heels.
~oOo~
The Ross's lake was secretly one of Hermione's most favourite places on the planet. The water was always the perfect temperature with an almost unbelievably clean quality to it, especially compared to other lakes and natural bodies of water. On the handful of occasions she'd come to visit her relatives unaccompanied by her parents, she'd regularly sneak down the vague forest path by foot, not minding the hour-long walk because it would end with a swim in 'her' lake, undisturbed. Jake only liked water for fishing, and the fish in the lake were apparently too small to do any good, even if Aunt Louise allowed it, which she didn't. So Hermione would escape, swimming or just floating around for hours. It always managed to centre and rejuvenate her spirit, washing away her insecurities and outsider feelings at least temporarily.
As such, she felt a tiny wave of relief and happiness when Sirius' head emerged from the surface with a growling laugh of unmistakable pleasure.
Sirius grinned. "Oh, this is heavenly. You've been keeping this a secret," he teasingly accused.
"Damn right I have," Hermione shot back, swimming a relaxed sidestroke around him. "This is my lake, and you have to earn the privilege of swimming in it."
"Is that so?" Sirius slowly began moving towards her.
"It is," she answered, steering herself just out of his reach.
He smirked and disappeared beneath the water, stealthily reappearing next to her, slipping his hands around her waist. "So… what exactly did I do to earn that privilege?" he asked in a suggestive tone.
Hermione gasped softly at the seductive feeling of their legs brushing against each other in the slightly cool water. Sirius heard, and his eyes narrowed as he pulled her closer, his fingers sliding up her body.
"You made me feel," she whispered, closing her eyes as he cupped her breasts. Her insides melted like honey in tea as he closed in to trail heated kisses along her shoulder and neck. She grabbed his shoulders as her legs drifted around in the water while he was tall enough to touch bottom. The gesture pulled her flush against him, and she could feel his hardness bobbing against her mound.
Suddenly needing him more than she thought possible, Hermione wrapped her legs wantonly around Sirius' hips. He stared into her eyes hungrily and a muscle in his jaw twitched, but no words were spoken. With a slight undulation of his pelvis, he was positioned at her entrance and they both gasped at their sudden readiness. He held her gaze and thrust, wrapping one arm around her back, his other hand holding her hip for leverage.
Hermione curled her arms around his neck, the buoyancy of the water creating a completely new experience as Sirius guided her over his hardness.
They went slowly, so slowly at first, taking full advantage of just being able to enjoy the feelings they were creating in each other. When she began gasping and wriggling impatiently against him, however, Sirius grabbed both her hips and rocked her against him to show her what to do, then simply let her take control until she found her completion, her muscles twitching around him as he rained tender kisses over her face. And still, he didn't stop. With more self-control than he ever imagined he possessed, Sirius slowly pumped in and out of her until Hermione was begging him once more. Again, that word, that sweet murmured heartfelt plea from her lips tore his resolve and he took her, grinding and thrusting and again she shuddered around him, crying his name as he sucked and nipped the tender flesh of her breast until finally, dear gods, her body was milking his cock for all he was worth and he came, his vision blinded by a flash of light, it was so fuckinggood…
They were floating, drifting. Dark blood red nothing at first, until Sirius realized it was the bright light of day pressing insistently against his closed eyelids. Did he pass out? Arms around his waist, precious body bumping against his… Hermione. He squeezed at her, and she squeezed back.
Squinting in anticipation of too-bright afternoon light, he slowly opened one eye, then another. Getting his bearings, he straightened his body and touched the sandy bottom of the lake. He glanced down at the brunette witch in his arms to see her squinting in the light, looking just as disoriented as he felt.
"Did I fall asleep?" she mumbled.
"I don't know," Sirius answered. "But did you feel that?" he asked, remembering with awe their joining.
Brown eyes met his, huge and comprehending. "Yeah," she whispered.
Glancing down, Sirius noted with dismay the pink telltale signs of sunburn blushing through her chest and shoulders. "Come on," he said. "Let's get you out of the water and covered a little better."
After gently coating her with more sunscreen, they lay on the blanket, sated and wordless for the second time that day as the sun drifted in and out from behind an increasing number of clouds.
Something about Hermione's silence this time felt different, though. Sirius pulled her against him. Planting a tender kiss on her shoulder, he asked, "Are you alright, love?"
Hermione turned with a wry smile tinged with sadness and took a deep breath in preparation for more truth. "Not exactly," she answered.
Sirius gave a concerned frown and sat them both upright. "What is it?" he asked, bringing her knuckles to his lips in a gesture that was quickly becoming one of her favourite endearments.
She sighed, knowing he meant well but still feeling slightly manipulated by the effects of what she was certain now was the iced tea. They had both taken full advantage of it throughout their lovemaking as well as the times between, but the more difficult topics caused her ire to flare at their secret potion-maker.
"I'm fairly certain I'm going to get hurt, you know," she said, grateful his question was worded vaguely enough to not pull further details from her. When he opened his mouth, she pressed her fingers to his lips. "No questions," she pleaded, shaking her head. "Sirius, you have a world full of beautiful witches at your disposal. I'm sure I'm not the last one you'll be with, and since you asked, the truth is that I know it's going to hurt eventually. I'm flattered that you wanted to be with me, and I am so, so very grateful that I got to experience this. But as for how you feel – what you feel in your heart…" She drifted off, shrugging hopelessly.
Frustration welled within him. Once more his carelessness and reckless reputation preceded him. It was his own fault, but he would not let it win this time. He'd finally found the one thing he never realized he'd been missing all along, and he could feel his soul clawing desperately to keep it from escaping.
"Why don't you ask me what I feel?" he said with forced calm.
A small melancholy smile touched her lips. "Because I'm scared - scared I won't like the answer, and it's too much – I don't want to pull that from you unwillingly, no matter what the answer is."
"I think I'm in love with you," Sirius blurted.
He heard the tiny hitch of breath in her throat before she whispered, "Is – is that true?"
"No," he answered involuntarily, wincing slightly at her expression before continuing. "I don't just think so… I know - I am in love with you, Hermione. I have been for quite some time now." Sirius took a deep breath. "I only got around to realizing it once you'd nearly gotten yourself killed-" His voice cracked slightly and he paused, running a hand through his hair before meeting her gaze. He had absolutely no experience with this, never really having had a chance to fall in love before. Once he'd gained his freedom, Sirius had been quick to make up for lost time with the opposite sex the only way he knew how, and that was not by falling emotionally for them. While he knew of his feelings for Hermione for some time now, when he woke up that morning, he sure as hell didn't expect he'd be spilling his guts to the beautiful witch by that afternoon. And yet, here he was…
"Look," Sirius continued apologetically. "I know this seems like an awful lot all at once, and for that I am sorry. I don't expect anything in return, and I wouldn't blame you if you wanted to get as far away as possible. I certainly did, at first. Because - when you were lying in that hospital bed, and no one was sure what curse hit you or whether you'd come back to us, I felt like the bottom dropped out of my world. I could barely breathe, Hermione, and…and at the same time there was everyone else, fretting over you and worrying as well, and I realized just how fucking insane I must be. I was certain I had no business thinking or feeling the things I do for you. So I tried – I tried to stay away, but damn it, woman - "
He broke off with a frustrated huff and shook his head hopelessly, forcing a bitter smile of his own. "I just… don't want you to feel sad for the wrong reasons. I know what my reputation is like – so I want you to know you have no reason whatsoever to… to think it's like that. You see, if anyone has to worry, it's me," he rambled. "Because I'm the hopeless old fool who's besotted with a witch young enough to be his daughter. And who's to say that eventually she won't get bored and move on to some younger, more handsome wizard?"
When he finally ran out of words, Hermione sat in shocked silence. 'Sad for the wrong reasons' - ? 'Besotted'? Her pulse had increased with nearly every word he'd spoken. She scanned his face for any signs of teasing or insincerity and instead found an uncharacteristically insecure Sirius, staring at a spot of blanket as he fidgeted with it. Oh gods, she thought, overwhelmed, searching for the right thing to say without throwing herself at him.
Finally, with a small throat-clearing sound, Hermione answered simply, "Me."
When his grey eyes looked up at her with a cautious question, she repeated herself. "Me, Sirius. I'm to say that I won't get bored or any of that other rubbish. Honestly!" she added in a failed attempt at a joke about the whole iced tea debacle. When he didn't laugh, she wrapped her arms around the older but utterly gorgeous wizard's neck and climbed into his lap, wrapping her legs around his hips. "It's not an awful lot all at once," she whispered, gazing into his silver eyes and feeling as though her heart would burst. "You were all I looked forward to, for months, really. I thought it was just that ridiculous adolescent crush coming back to haunt me, but I – it just wouldn't leave me alone. Ever since you came back, Sirius, every conversation and every moment with you…" she broke off, shaking her head in disbelief, then shrugged. "I love you," she said simply, kissing him deeply and smiling against his lips as she felt him hardening against her. If this was Sirius as an 'old man,' she was certain she wouldn't have been able to keep up with him in his younger days.
~oOo~