Disclaimer: I don't own Southern Vampire Mysteries. But a girl can dream, right?

Chapter 3 – Never Want To Say It's Love

The next day, I woke up restless. Not even my daily cup of coffee did the trick to cheer me up. I took a shower and got ready for class. I had my Philosophy of Art course that day, which would not help me to keep focus at all. I was mulling things over in my head the entire way to Bon Temps Community College. What was all that about? I had just given Bill shit about being an idiot for falling in love with someone he never saw and hardly spook to and then I had the audacity to be all annoyed, reacting like a jealous brainless girl? I couldn't really be trapped in that situation, could I? I was not a stupid blonde, I didn't think it was possible to like someone that way when you didn't put your eyes on, touched or even kissed them… But maybe it was. Perhaps he could truly fall for Claudine… and there I was, in that awful place, stuck in between… the limbo.

It seemed more like a fantasy to me though; he loved what he thought she was, not who she was in actuality. Claudine is alluring, outgoing, funny, good-looking and has such a cheerful nature; the moment she enters a room everybody turn their heads to look at her. But only when you get to know her better you become aware of her peevishly temper - believe me, you will recognize it when it makes an appearance, and see just how shallow and frivolous she can be sometimes. She acts indifferent around people she doesn't know or doesn't like and constantly forgets to think of anyone other than herself. Bill only knew the bubbly girl side; he didn't have the time to know every part of her. If they talked to each other five times a month, it was a lot.

After obviously failing at paying attention to my morning classes I went to lunch by myself. I decided that to remove Bill from my thoughts, and possibly from my heart as well, I should try to assist him with Claudine or at least see if he had any chance with her. I wouldn't bet any money on that possibility, but I could be wrong, couldn't I?

With that in mind, I called Claudine and set up a girl's night to get a sense of the atmosphere; maybe he had a small chance and I was just being pessimistic. Well, I simply needed to find out. I came back home just in time to take another shower and put some clothes on. We agreed she'd come to my place at 8pm to watch a movie and catch up. I picked the always lovely and beautiful "The Fabulous Destiny of Amélie Poulain" and the funny "Wedding Crashers." Claudine preferred the second one, so I popped it in the DVD player and we started to watch the trailers while digging into some popcorn and coke.

"Do you know who loves this movie?" I couldn't start to probe in a more subtle manner.

"No, who?"

"JB, we watched it together once…" Well, he was at the movies that day too and I heard his laugh all the way back to the middle row…

"Hum…then he has good taste," she stated approvingly.

"He is hot… a dummy, but hot. Would you hook up with him?"

"Yes, I did too…" Claudine giggled shamelessly, implying that I also made out with JB. I did give him some chaste kisses when we were kids, more than once actually. But it stopped there.

"Andy?"

"Absolutely not." She grimaced at the thought of been with Andy; poor guy, he wasn't that bad.

"What about Hoyt?" I was getting where I wanted, without suspicion, I hoped.

"Nope… What about you, hon?" She waggled her eyebrows to me.

"I didn't hook up with either of them," I answered quickly. "What about Bill? What do you think of him, Claudine?"

"Bill? Amelia's Bill?" I nodded, rolling my eyes a little bit. "He's funny. He also appears totally hot in some of those pictures he showed, but it's not like I think about him that way… I like blondes, you know that." She gave me a heartfelt laugh. "And, Sookie, I never met the guy, it's not like you could feel attraction through the computer."

"I understand… But if you two met in person? Do you think you would be interested?" I probed a bit more just to be sure.

"I don't think so… I'm going out with Ryan, that cute blond from college, remember? Why are you asking me this? Do you know something I don't?" She asked, cocking one perfectly shaped eyebrow at me.

"Of course not, I was just continuing the list of hot guys. I had to extend it to other towns; we were roughly done with the Bon Temps list… Do want some blankets? It's kind of cold tonight."

I decided to change the subject right way. I already discovered what I wanted to know and she was starting to get suspicious. I went to my bedroom to grab the blankets for us. I came back quickly, gave her one and she appeared absolutely normal; the subject was definitely over. 'Thank God.'

We watched the movie, making some comments in the funny scenes, laughing pretty frequently. I successfully distracted myself and even forgot about the whole situation involving Bill, Claudine, and myself for a good couple of hours.

The things I should think and do from then on seemed to become clear in my mind. I tried to help him, see if he had a shot with Claudine, but that was a dead end; she was not interested. As his friend, I decided to tell him the truth; he needed to understand matters the way they were and move on. Yeah, things definitely seemed brighter to me, but not for Bill, it was a loaded "no" for him. He would be all right though, it wasn't like he desperately loved her; it was just a fling, like what I possibly had over him, nothing serious. 'Just keep telling yourself that.'

Claudine and I talked some more after the movie finished. She went home just past midnight and I got to bed right after she left. I needed a peaceful night of sleep and that was just what I got.

The next day was a sunny Saturday. I got to sunbathe in the yard and do some errands before I found Bill online while checking my e-mails. I started the chat the way I always did, friendly and warm. He didn't buy that and promptly asked me why I had run away so abruptly the other day.

(5:42 p.m.) WTCompton: "Come on, Sookie. Tell me what happened. You acted pretty weird..."

(5:44 p.m.) SSunshine: "Oh, Bill it was nothing, really. I just needed to get off of the laptop, you know? My brother needed to use it for something..."

(5:44 p.m.) WTCompton: "Ok, I'm gonna pretend I fall for that one. But seriously, if it was something I said to you that made you upset, you are gonna need to tell me eventually."

(5:45 p.m.) SSunshine: "It's something personal and I don't feel comfortable talking about it yet. But sure Bill, maybe one day I will..." How could I tell him that I ran away because I suddenly realized I liked him somewhat more than a friend? Well, that was a fat no.

(5:46 p.m.) WTCompton: "I knew it! I won't pressure you, Sook. Although when you feel you are ready to tell me… whenever it is, I'm here for you."

(5:48 p.m.) SSunshine: "Thanks, Bill. You are a great friend. But I have something else I need to tell you. I only hope you don't get too angry at me..."

(5:48 p.m.) WTCompton: "What is it, Sookie? You can tell me, I won't be angry."

(5:49 p.m.) SSunshine: "I talked to Claudine yesterday. I probed her about you without raising any suspicions or tipping her off to what you told me. Just casually, when asking her what she thought of some guys I included you at the list. Do you wanna know what she said? It's totally up to you..."

(5:51 p.m.) WTCompton: "Mmm... ok. I didn't expect that. I suppose I'm grateful to you for keeping my secret, but you didn't have to do that Sookie. It's really not your problem. But I think I want to know... what did she say?"

(5:52 p.m.) SSunshine: "I'm perfectly aware this isn't my problem, Bill. But I decided you needed help and I was in position to help you, so I did it. And it's just what it is. She said she likes you as a friend and didn't think about you any other way than that. Also she stated she couldn't possibly feel attracted to someone she never saw personally..."

(5:54 p.m.) WTCompton: "Well, now I can definitely throw any hope I had left through the window, huh?"

He seemed really bitter, but what was I expecting? Relief? Gratitude? Appreciation? Peace of mind? The hell I was.

(5:55 p.m.) SSunshine: "I'm sorry for that. But you need to face the truth and move on, buddy. Or I don't know, you could come here and visit... Maybe getting to know her in person would change things." 'Could I act more selfless? No, probably not.'

(5:56 p.m.) WTCompton: "No, Sookie. Let it be. I will forget her and everything; it's gonna go back to normal. I just need time... Thanks, anyway."

That was the hardest conversation I ever had with Bill. I held the tears back until we said our goodbyes. I was sad for him, for myself, but mostly for what I thought we would never have. I didn't want to make him feel bad or anything by telling him the truth. I tried to give him a hand with Claudine despite my own feelings. And what were my own feelings anyway? I never wanted to say it was love, but if I was honest I'd have to say that was what I was thinking of. If she had showed the tiniest bit of interest in him, I would have been more insistent, but he wasn't so lucky; nobody was lucky.

He started to appear online less after that. I understood; he needed time, he wanted space to forget. I could give all that to him and I also could use that to my own advantage. I went dancing over and over again, I watched movies, and even went camping with my daddy. I had a lot of fun while trying to let go of Bill. Things were going great; we talked less and it didn't seem too awkward when we did. I missed him, but I also needed to stick with the guys that were available and paying attention to me, and that was what I did.

After a couple months, while in class one day, I found out I would have a two day college trip to New Orleans in the next week. My professor informed us, to the delight of our classroom, that we had been chosen to visit The Big Easy, getting the chance to observe the unique architectural styles there. Our professor described them as "architectural styles which reflects the city's historical roots and multi-cultural heritage."

I couldn't believe it. I stood there wide eyed with the news for awhile. I had never been to New Orleans, so I was more than excited about the trip. What were the odds that my classroom would be the one picked to go there? 'I'm gonna finally meet Amelia and Bill personally,' I thought before reconsidering, 'Maybe I shouldn't go? Wait… why the hell not?' I deserved it more than anyone in there. I worked hard to maintain my high grades. Suddenly, I found myself thinking that it would certainly be a trip to remember.

And in fact it was.

A/N: So, what you thought? Do you guys like or are interested to know the rest of Sookie's back story? I would love to hear your opinion. And thanks so much for reading this. I can't really tell you how much I appreciate it.

Also I would love to know, have you ever found yourself in the middle of a situation like this one? The guy you liked had a thing for your best friend or the opposite, the guy she liked had a thing for you. What did you do then?