A/N: Hey! I'm sorry for the delay, guys. I had a few problems with my muse over the past week. She just left me, and then when she decided to come back I was off for the weekend; I hold no grudge against her though. Huge thanks to my awesome beta, CassandraMello; she is like the last ice-cold coke in the desert.
We are back to the present time and here is a little Eric for you. Truly hope you enjoy!
Chapter 5 – Beneath The Surface
Present Time
I wander through the streets alone for an indistinct amount of time, without particularly noticing as things pass by. Everything around me appears foggy, hazy through my glazed eyes, as if I am in an induced trance. Only thoughts of him linger in my head. Where I'm going I don't know, it escapes my mind; I couldn't seem to come to a lucid conclusion for all I'm worth. I glance at my hand and perceive I'm holding my car keys, but somehow I continue walking, leaving my car behind. Given that my feet decided to stroll of their own accord, and I'm not functioning exactly right, it's probably for the best.
My stomach growls loudly and I suddenly remember I went out to buy food, but I couldn't make up my mind as to what I should buy or where to do it. I just feel dazed, utterly lost, thinking of hypnotic blue eyes and strong hands caressing my soft skin. I probably should call that "The Eric effect," this most likely occurs with every single woman that lay eyes on him. Great, just great, I'm officially nuts.
I mentally kick myself, twice, and stop moving aimlessly to take a good look at where I am. I'm not too far from the apartment, just a few blocks away. That's good, and how lucky am I? There is a diner at the street corner. I go there relieved to finally be able to do something other than waste time thinking about that irritating beefcake. I quickly decide on three different types of sandwiches, coke and some bottles of water, in the hopes to please everybody. I wait patiently at the closest table while my order gets ready. My somewhat low-blood-sugar-affected brain uses the opportunity to remind me of Pam's brother's blessed existence on this Earth again.
I shake my head, trying to break loose the glamor he putted on me. It works; I'm finally able to have a clear thought. Eric is leaning at the kitchen counter, eating the sandwich I bought for him. His tantalizing blue eyes holding mine while he bites it successively. The sandwich seems so incredibly delicious in his tight grip, but it has just a little too much sauce, I observe amused. I lower my eyes, taking in all of him and to my sheer delight he is wearing absolutely nothing other than his alabaster skin. I gasp at the sight; he looks like a god, a stunning frickin' god with the most perfect body ever made. His hands are so impressively huge, just like his other parts. Nevertheless, he can't hold the sandwich skillfully enough to avoid the ketchup that slips over his lips and chin, onto his beautiful chiseled chest, when he gives it a big hungry bite. He glances at the mess hastily, and slowly lifts his devious cerulean eyes back to me, accompanied with a sly smile. Before I notice, I'm reaching for him, his warm skin, his seductive lips, his rough chin, eagerly licking all the way down to his perfect torso. He growls under my touch; I moan in response. He feels so good, so right. I pinch his hard nipples, sucking them, teasing as he taps on my shoulder… Wait, taps on my shoulder? What the hell?
"Miss, your order. Miss?" The waiter taps on my shoulder one more time, offering my order in a bag; successfully waking me from my sweet dream. I scowl at him for destroying my fantasy bubble, prior to my awareness of the predicament I put myself in. I was in a room full of unknown people and everybody was watching me as I had a naughty daydream of Eric. Oh My God… I didn't make any sounds, did I? I blush instantaneously at the thought, quickly getting up and apologizing to the guy, who is looking at me like I'm some mental case. I take the bag and head out through the double doors, almost hitting my face, adding more fuel to the whole crazy woman scene. I make a mental note to never go back to this place again. Oh God, so embarrassing... At least he woke me in time. I consider how mortified I might have been there if I had my way in that reverie for a little longer. I giggle inwardly at that.
I still have to go to the grocery store, though. We had absolutely nothing to eat at the apartment. I turn around and walk back home, remembering a grocery store in the way back. I easily find it and do my shopping real quickly, buying everything I think Pam and I'll need for the next couple days. We could go to Wal-Mart later and buy the other things we surely were going to need. Perhaps we could even throw a housewarming party? I ponder for a minute, deciding it would be real fun. I head home pleased with my progress; especially because I did it without thinking of Eric all over again.
It's almost 4pm when I knock at the door; my hands were full of bags and I couldn't open it with my own keys. I hear heavy steps approaching the door and then it's opened abruptly. I stare at Eric wide eyed, mouth slightly open, incapable to speak or move. Why does he have to be so fucking hot? He gave me the once over and shakes his head with a chuckle. "Here, let me help you", he says, taking all my bags at once. He lightly rubs his arms against mine, while I'm still gaping at him. Before I'm able to protest his unnecessary help, I feel that same burning sensation pass through my entire body and almost come undone. Nonetheless, I'm able to identify the look of surprise that comes across his features for the briefest of moments; he feels it too. Good, I'm not entirely crazy then.
This is all that I'm able to realize. And yet it is enough. I'm done. I refuse to indulge another second of this school-girl-with-a-crush behavior. I'm better than this. I had my share of fresh air and now I'm gonna conduct myself like an adult woman. Yes, he is a god, a frickin' Adonis, an improved Brad Pitt, for Christ's sake. But I'm a smart girl and smart girls keep their head functioning, because it's all we have. I struggle silently for thirty painful seconds, suppressing my giddy hormones, until I regain control over my body. Then I start to act like my normal self for a change.
"Thanks, Eric," I utter in a steady voice.
I follow him to the kitchen, benefitting from the view of his well-toned butt in action, without falling into that nerveless state again. I glance sideways at Pam as she waves at me from her bedroom door.I hear her bright laugh echo throughout the room. Oops! There goes my secretly ogling of her brother's rear. I chuckle softly, shaking my head.
"Women…" Eric mutters oblivious as he puts all bags over the counter top with one effortless movement and turns to lean against the wall, crossing his arms, exactly behind me. I choose to ignore his comment and figure it's for my own good.
"I'm sorry it took me so long, guys. I bought sandwiches and coke for us. You can choose the one you like most. I brought one turkey breast, one sliced chicken, and one roast beef and steak. And I went to the grocery store and bought some groceries too, even a bottle of wine for celebration. But I'm afraid we'll need more things…" I babble as I empty the bags at the counter and store the groceries neatly in the cabinets and fridge, while Eric watches my every move with disturbing interest.
"I heard someone say the word celebration?" Pam comes off her bedroom and move towards the kitchen, with a curious expression on her pretty face. I sense some movement at my back at the same time as she enters the room. Someone is feeling agitated… "Oh, roomie, don't be silly. You did very well; we can go to Wal-Mart later if we need something else. But right now, I'm starving." It was exactly what I had thought; I beam at her approvingly.
Pam grabs the turkey breast sandwich and asks, "Anyone wants the turkey one?"
"No, you can have it. What about you Eric? Which one do you want?" He's by my side now, drinking the bottled water, I see. He seems so thirsty. I watch him from the corners of my eyes, beginning to get a little thirsty myself.
"Yeah, sure. It's yours." He nods in agreement, dabbing his wet lips and chin with the back of his hand. The luscious water hoists to the surface of my mind the prurient images of my daydream, which would otherwise still have been suppressed by my prior resolve. I decide for my own sanity, to move my eyes away from him once more; the last thing I want is to keep having flashes of that disconcerting reverie. You just wish it was real. Shut up!
"Do you prefer chicken or roast beef?" I ask for a second time. He's succeeding at pissing me off with all of his sex appeal by now. I'm not in a condition to resist this kind of allure; it has been months since I went out with someone.
"No, you can choose first, Sookie. I don't mind," he declares courteously, while pouring his coke, no, my coke in a clean glass and handing it to me with a smirk.
"Ok, I'm gonna take the chicken one, then. Thanks." I give him a small, almost shy smile to show my appreciation. I take my sandwich and glass and go straight to where Pam is. She's looking outside through the living room window contemplatively.
"Do you realize we have hundreds of sunsets and sunrises waiting to be witnessed for us through this very window?" Pam states dreamily, not sounding like herself at all. Unexpectedly I feel a tight pain in my chest that I have every time I remember him. He uttered almost the same words to me a couple years ago.
I was thinking of Bill. No one really knew what he meant to me, not even Amelia or Claudine, who had been there when everything happened. Bill had been my first love, my true love. He had loved and cherished me like the most precious thing in the world. Bill. For a moment I saw him very clearly in my mind's eye. There had been no other love. Bill was part of my very being, part of my soul. I knew I could never, would never, forget him whatever the circumstances.
I take a deep breath and eventually the pain in my chest begins to subside. Lifting my eyes, focusing on Pam, I remark almost casually, "Yeah, no matter what the sun will rise again tomorrow..."
"Sookie? Are you well? You look… hm… pained, lost…" She asks worried. I lingered to answer more than would be appropriate, it seemed.
"I am not lost, just wondering..." I say flatly, but she keeps staring at me with concern in her eyes. "Oh, don't worry, Pam. It's just my empty stomach making me delusional." I laugh, a little uncomfortable. It doesn't happen very often anymore. I don't think about him as much as I used to. The thought of Bill pains me as a closed, but still sore wound whenever presented to my weary brain. Her statement triggered the thoughts, obviously. I sigh, feeling bone-tired all of a sudden.
I turn away from her and sit on the couch to finally eat my meal. As I enjoy my chicken sandwich, I sense a pair of eyes following me, drilling holes in my back. I instinctively turn around, furrowing my brows, to find Eric's piercing eyes aimed at me, like he was trying to see my very soul beneath all the superficial layers. I don't know what he finds in my eyes, but the look on his face, a mix of bewilderment and compassion tells me everything. I try in vain to maintain the color in my face, distraughtly thinking that getting pale is much worse than getting red. It certainly confirms conscious guiltiness, I'm afraid. I feel somehow violated, horrified, and amazed at the same time that he could see so much of me with only one glance. I lower my gaze to elsewhere, somewhere safe and inconspicuous, my sandwich.
Pam sits on the couch by my side, glancing at me every now and then. We stay there in comfortable silence for awhile, just eating. After we finish our meals she strokes my knee gently and says, "Sook, we are almost done here. Why don't you go and take a shower and get some rest? You sure look like you need it."
"Nonsense, I still have plenty of stuff to do," I declare, getting up, stretching out my arms lazily, driving off all weariness. "Also, I didn't tell you about this great idea I had…" I grin somewhat excitedly, leaving the sorrowful memories behind, where they should be.
"Are you sure?" She asks uncertainly. I promptly give her a reassuring smile, remembering what Amelia likes to call me when I start to act like this, The Queen of Contradiction. I chuckle, feeling better already.
"Okay, what is this great idea of yours?" Pam inquires in defeat.
"We should throw a housewarming party! It would be so fun, we could show our new home to our closest friends and maybe register a gift list at Target; I heard somewhere it's the newest trend." I ramble animatedly, waiting for her answer. She looks at me surprised, which is a massive reaction from someone like Pam.
"I knew you were more than just a pretty face, roomie." She smiles smugly, contentment evident in her voice. "It's a very good idea, Sookie. I'm glad you thought it. We could have some finger foods, cocktails, music… I didn't know about the gift list thing, but if you say its common manners, we should do it." I nod in agreement, grinning excited. She shifts her gaze towards Eric, who is, to my surprise, crouched down on the floor setting up the TV while we talk.
"What do you think, Eric?" He doesn't answer at first. She tries again. "Ahem, Eric?"
"Sorry, did you say something?" He looks at her confused, getting up and turning the fabulous flat screen on; it works perfectly. Well, the man knows how to turn things on, that's for sure.
"Yes, I did daydreamer. We're gonna throw a housewarming party. When do you have the night off?" Pam repeats annoyed by his distraction. I glance at him curious, keeping my eyes away from his, afraid of what I may see.
"I don't know, Pam. I have to check my schedule. Probably next week…" He answers nonchalantly, passing through the channels hastily, making sure the TV is properly functioning.
"It'll have to be next week or later anyway, this week would be too soon. We need to invite our guests with some notice," she states, immersed in thoughts.
As if on cue, his front pocket starts to make a beeping noise, catching our attention. He immediately takes hold of what I recognize as a pager and glimpses at it. He puts it back on his pocket while talking, "I'm sorry, Pam. There has been an emergency with one of my patients and I have to go to the hospital right away. Call me if you need something. I will see you later."
"Thanks for helping, Eric. When you need a hand just let me know, ok? Be safe."
"Sure, Pam. It was a pleasure to finally meet you, Sookie. Good luck with this one, you're going to need it," he says playfully as he rushes through us, waving goodbye and disappearing through the door.
Pam and I look at each other and shrug, smiling like partners in crime. She gets up from the couch and walks briskly to the kitchen, where she retrieves the bottle of wine I bought earlier, two clean glasses and a corkscrew. She eyes me with a mischievous grin and hurries back to the couch. As she opens the bottle and serves the heavenly burgundy liquid, thousands of thoughts flutter on my mind.
"We need to celebrate, Sook. We made it. We really made it." Pam hands over my glass beaming, holding hers high for a toast. "To our new lives!"
"To our new lives, roomie!" I repeat with a wide smile, raising my glass as well. "This is a moment I'm gonna remember for the rest of my life and I'm so glad you're part of it, Pam," I say sincerely.
"I make your words my own," she answers back.
After we had clinked glasses, we savor our wine and find it very good even though it wasn't an expensive one. Pam fills our glasses again and gets more comfortable, kicking off her ballerina flats and placing her feet on top of the coffee table. I take off my shoes and rest my back on the couch arm hugging my knees close to my chest.
"I still can't believe I got out my parents' home, it's so surreal… We have our own place, our own rules and no one to bother or boss us around. Isn't that totally awesome?" I ask Pam elated.
"You've got no idea, Sook. I can't believe either. I'm so happy right now… My situation with my mother was unbearable, you know. After my father died and Eric left the house, she just got more unstable and difficult to deal with, and her new boyfriend - oh God, what a vermin - she can't see he only wants her money. It's frustrating to say the least," she shakes her head, clearly displeased with her mother's current state. "I had to get out of there, I couldn't stand it anymore, and I'm glad I did it."
"I'm sorry for your mom, hon. I wish I could say something that would make things better for you, but I can't. She has to see things with her own eyes; there is nothing you can do… They don't usually take our words as truth as you already know." I give her a compassionate smile, "Why do daughters have problems with their mothers, anyway? Is an innate thing? I really don't understand. My mom loves me, I know that, but she's so passive-aggressive, and she acts so irrationally sometimes, like I'm some sort of competition to her. Why they're so competitive with us? It's not like we're threatening their place, is it?" I wonder trying to find a reasonable answer.
"I understand exactly what you're saying. I had a fair relationship with my father and sometimes my mother complained he gave me more attention than he would give to her. It's ridiculous how she would feel jealous over her own daughter," she scorns while sipping her wine.
"Yeah, my mom gets jealous of me and my dad too. And when I do something better than her, like cook? She always finds a way to say it's really great, but not seasoned enough or that something she can't quite ascertain what is it is missing. How completely dysfunctional is that?" I chuckle at the crazy behavior our beloved moms display sometimes. Pam joins me with a heartfelt chortle.
"Wow, I never see you laugh like this before. I take it as a good sign?" I laugh some more, amused at her high spirits.
"I don't know, but it sure feels good." She grins, taking a swallow of wine and goes on to say, "You never told me what you thought about my little brother…" I squirm at her choice of subject. Pam glances at me slyly, knowing what she just did. God help you, Sookie.
"I thought he was very helpful and polite, I wish my brother would be that caring. Also he is a doctor, impressive, huh?" I say swiftly, feeling embarrassed.
"Yeah, he's in his first year of residency. In fact, he is a very good one. As for the caring part, he is an awfully good brother, I can't complain about that. But the important thing is that he thought you were very interesting. " She smirks at me, waiting for my reaction. I sip my wine before answering her, trying to muster some courage.
"Really? If you say so…" I play the evasive one; not sure of what to say. "He is drop dead gorgeous, as you and the rest of the world already know," I remark slightly sarcastic.
"Well, well… you can drop the sarcasm with me, I saw how you two eye-fucked each other." Pam snickers, waggling her eyebrows in a provocative manner. I blush shocked by her disturbing acuity.
"Well I guess I couldn't help it, huh?" I mock defensively, laughing a bit. "But he didn't look at me that way, at least I didn't notice. You're imagining things, Pam," I counter dismissively.
"Oh Sookie, you're so oblivious with regards to your own appearance that it's kind of pathetic... You're a particularly attractive young woman, get over it," she retorts, cutting me off. I ponder what she says, staring down into my glass of red wine.
"Hm… I think I'm supposed to say thanks to that? I know I'm not ugly Pam, but compared to Eric, I'm a plain Jane, that's all… Not that it matters, anyway" I hastily add, "I'm just stating the truth here."
"Keep fooling yourself for as long as you want, Sookie. Sooner or later you're gonna realize you're more easy on the eyes than you think and not so ruined for love as well. " I give her a smile and take a gulp of wine, knowing exactly what she's talking about.
"I don't know what this has to do with my inability to love again, Pam." I narrow my eyes at her, unsure of where she was trying to get with this.
"I saw it, Sookie. You don't need to hide or feel ashamed of anything; I know something happened. Maybe it was what I said or something else, but you got that stricken look all over your face, the same look you have every time you think of Bill."
Before she could say another word, I exclaim, "This is a new start for me, with so many changes, and it's not exactly like I planned a couple of years ago, as you know, but good changes, needed changes. It has been an emotional day, Pam. That's all." I glance around the room, looking for an answer, a refuge.
"I understand, Sookie. This is a huge step and I'm happy for you, but before you know it things will feel normal again; you'll feel normal again and that black cloud above your head is gonna get smaller and smaller, until that is nothing more other than a clear sky of possibilities before you." Even though I don't believe in her promising words straight away, I deeply hope she is right.
"I appreciate the sentiment, Pam, but why don't we just enjoy this lovely wine on our first day at our new home?" I offer, taking the bottle and filling up the glasses, not wanting to ponder this any longer.
"That's sound like a good plan," Pam says with one brow lifting. I place the bottle on the coffee table and notice for the first time a beautiful frame with a picture of a little girl in it. I stretch out and grab it to get a better look. I automatically smile at the sight, an adorable blonde baby girl with stunning blue eyes.
"Is that you, Pam?" I ask in awe.
"Oh, no. This is Annika, my lovely niece. Isn't she the prettiest thing ever?" She asks, smiling broadly like any proud aunt would. I gape at her, somehow startled with the knowledge.
"Your niece? Like Eric's baby girl?" The question escapes my mouth before I'm able to control myself.
"Of course, he's my only sibling, Sookie." She rolls her eyes at my stupid question.
I shift my gaze between her and the portrait several times, stunned. Eric's baby, he has a baby girl. She is exactly like him, stunning… I thought, dazed. Therefore he must be married, right? "But I didn't see a wedding ring, did I?" I mutter to myself. Well, he must be taken. But that is good news. Isn't it? So why do I feel disappointed?
A/N: Before you all get angry with me for that last part, let me just say that sometimes we just need to wait and see how it goes. *hides behind Eric*
Why don't you guys hit that green button and let me know what you think? I would love that.
Hey, we have a party coming! ;)