A/N: Hey guys! This is my longest chapter yet. I hope you enjoy it. Let me know your thoughts.
A huge amount of thanks to my beta extraordinaire CassandraMello, who sent this one back to me in no time. Thanks, Cass!
This chapter is my present to LindsayK for her birthday. Happy birthday, Linds! I wish you all the best! And thanks for your collaboration on this one. I hope you like it!
Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters; I'm just having fun with them for awhile.
Chapter 11 – Let It Be Me
I should have known I couldn't escape the inquisition for too long. I'm only surprised that they didn't wake me up earlier. When I open my eyes this morning, the first thing I spot is Amelia and Pam, lurking around my bed with expectant eyes. I squint at them grudgingly after the prior start. Pam even has a cup of coffee in her hands to blackmail me. Smart girl. I would never spill any information without a cup of coffee in my hands; at least they got that right. After lingering for a few minutes longer on my bed, wickedly enjoying their anxiousness, I slide out of bed and stretch my arms lazily. I put my robe on and accept the cup of coffee from Pam's hands, offering her an innocent smile in return.
"Thanks, Pam. Hmm… just the way I like it," I say, taking a long sip. "So tell me, to what do I owe such a warm invasion from both of you?"
"Don't play the dumb blonde act, Sookie. You know exactly why we are here," Pam retorts, eyeing me impatiently.
"Yeah, spill it, girl." Amelia shouts by her side.
"Sorry, but I don't know what you guys mean," I repeat with smiling persistence. I'm having so much fun teasing them. They should be thankful that I woke up in high spirits today; otherwise I'd be nailing their asses for breaking in my room at this moment.
"Oh, come on, Sookie. Stop fucking around and tell us what happened last night," Amelia pleads restlessly.
They look so eager. I can't hold it anymore; I burst out laughing, "Geez… Nothing happen, I just tended to Eric's wounds… and he tended to mine," I suggest, giggling.
"I knew it," Amelia shrieks excitedly. She high-fives with Pam and I look at them amused. "How was it?"
"From the look on her face, it was pretty damn good," Pam states, smirking giddy.
I blush. "He kissed me, okay?" I start to say. "And I might have kissed him back a little." A little my ass. I stiff a giggle and keep my best poker face on.
"It's definitely a good start. And did you like it? Is he a good kisser? Why do I think it was more than that?" Amelia probes, grinning. Pam snorts, obviously deeming her brother as a great kisser. I couldn't agree more.
I ignore Amelia's questions by saying, "Anyhow, I have to take a shower and get ready. We have lunch at my parents' house, remember Amelia?" I really don't want to think about how good kisser Eric is. That brings up too many frisky memories and I'm not going down memory lane right now. I'm not ready to put my mind into it just yet, maybe later? Hell, yeah.
"Oh, I had forgotten that," Amelia says a bit disappointed.
"Would you like to go too, Pam? There is always room at the Stackhouse's home."
"Thanks for offering, but I have to go to my mother's house today," Pam states expressionlessly.
"Oh, good luck with that, roomie," I tell her while going for the door.
"You are so not getting away without telling us all the good stuff? Do you hear me Sookie Stackhouse?" I hear Amelia yell as I run out through the open door and lock myself in the bathroom.
"That was close," I say to myself, letting out a sigh of relief.
I turn on the shower and strip off my robe and nightgown. I step in the warm water with great delight. As I wash my hair and body, my mind begins to wander, as it usually does. And when I let my mind wander long enough, chances are my thoughts will drift towards nonsensical things such as – had Eric gone to bed in my Mickey Mouse T-shirt? If a manly guy like Eric could look cute in something, it was in that tee. Maybe he would come by later today to bring it back to me and my tee could still have his scent fixed on it. I shudder at that prospect.
I make a mental note to go check his sweater as I get out of the shower in case he does show up. I wrap myself in a towel and dry my body. I hear it then. The hum. It is soothing and melodic. And it sounds just like my favorite song. I then realize that it's I who had been humming. I probably did it through the whole shower. "Who the hell are you and what did you do to me?" I ask myself, staring at my reflection in the mirror. I haven't woken up this happy since… well, since a really long time. I still have that radiant expression from last night, my body seems to know what it needs better than me. I sigh, resigned. I don't have time for this; I have a lunch to attend.
I get out of the bathroom and go straight to my room. Amelia is there waiting for me, and before she can say a word, I tell her to go take her shower, in view of the fact that we're already running late. She grumbles some ugly words and shoots me an annoyed look as she strides away complainingly. I close the door behind her chuckling; no more unannounced visits for me today. I put on some underwear, comfy denim shorts, a white tank top, and an orange cardigan over it to cover the bruise Alcide left on my arm. Thanks, Alcide. I tie my hair into a ponytail after blow drying it. I put on just a hint of make-up and flat sandals.
Amelia gets off the shower and goes to my room to change. I head to the kitchen to pour myself another cup of coffee and prepare a couple pieces of toast - a cinnamon raisin bread that I love. I eat peacefully for a moment, which I find surprisingly odd, wasn't there supposed to be a very nosy individual cornering me for information right now? Only then, I notice Pam's absence. She must have left while I was still in the shower. I clean my dish, feeling lucky, and wait for Amelia to get ready.
A few minutes later, she comes into the kitchen, still brushing her hair. She looks good in her khakis, white embroidered tunic, and golden, flat sandals. I offer her some toast as she pours herself a cup of coffee. She accepts it, offering me a sly smile.
I frown slightly. "What?" I demand, pinning my eyes on her dark ones.
"Nothing," she replies warily, sipping her coffee. "I don't think we'll have enough time to come back to your place later… so I'm gonna put my bags on your car just in case."
I don't insist, judging it wiser to play along, "Yeah, it's a smart idea."
"I thought so," she answers, finishing her coffee. Her plane ticket to New Orleans wasn't scheduled until later this afternoon, but wouldn't hurt to be prepared in case we get back too late. She goes to gather all her belongings, while I go brush my teeth. As soon as she is all set, I grab my bag and keys, and we are off in no time.
"Can you tell me what happened now, Sook?" Amelia asks, startling me with her dulcet tones.
"Um, yeah. I suppose I don't have another choice, huh?" I offer hesitantly. I begin to tell her a lighter version of what happened between Eric and me. I would be completely embarrassed giving more details of what took place in my room last night. "…though I'm sure he only kissed me in the first place because of the adrenalin rush after that whole wrestle madness. Yeah, it was definitely an adrenalin-charged kiss," I conclude sheepishly.
Amelia grins, ecstatic. "Oh, stop second-guessing this, Sook. You should be euphoric right now."
"I'm surprisingly happy, I simply didn't want to think it through, you know? I know if I start thinking, I'm gonna regret it sooner or later and I just wanted it to last a bit more…"
"Aw, sweetie. You don't have to regret it. You just kissed the guy you like, you did nothing wrong, Sook. You two are both single and into each other, nothing more natural than a little kissing," Amelia says supportive, waggling her eyebrows.
"Ah, you made your point. But it's merely an infatuation what we have, Amelia. No feelings involved," I state with my stubborn tone.
She snorts. "Your nose just grew five inches, you know."
I turn my face to look at her, chuckling in defeat, "Okay, maybe a little?"
Amelia laughs, shaking her head, "You bet."
We stay in comfortable silence for the rest of the ride. I catch myself wondering if things would change between Eric and I after last night. Well, of course they would. One can't make out like we did and forget all about it; I certainly couldn't. Maybe I should forget it. Maybe I should act like nothing happened when I see him again. And I would see him again; there is no way I can avoid that. Oh God, I shouldn't have let him kiss me. But then again, I shouldn't have kissed him back. But how could anyone resist to a kiss like his? Besides, I had been attracted to Eric since the first time a saw him, at my doorstep in a black tank top, holding a box. And though I had acknowledged it and had fought it, one kiss from those gorgeous, skillful lips and I was gone.
The more I think about it, the more bewildered I become. It all happened so fast and when I least expected, but I'm well aware of the fickleness of life. I had everything planned. I had a life to attend; a reasonably good and safe life I had built for myself. I was satisfied with what I had. And then I looked past that door one day and my life, my deep-rooted fears, the wall I had so carefully erected around me, everything turned upside down when our eyes met.
The little voice in my head told me my life would never be the same and it was right. Without even noticing, I allowed him to enter a small corner of my heart. He grew on me, more than I care to admit. Yet I don't know if I'm ready to offer more. It's too early to know. I'm still healing.
We get to Bon Temps in less than forty minutes. My parents are having a barbecue this Sunday. I'm aware now of how much I missed them and my old home. Mostly I missed my cat, Tina, who comes over immediately to rub her fluffy form against my feet, purring contently to see me. I reach for her and pick her up, going into my parents' old house, with my own key. I call out my mom, letting her know we arrived. She yells, "In the kitchen, hon." And I hurry towards there with Amelia striding right next to me.
"Hey, mom," I say, putting Tina down and giving my mom a kiss on the cheek. She scrubs her hands clean on her apron, giving me a tight hug next.
"Hi, darling. I'm so glad you came," she says with a flash of smile. "I have been missing your help around here. I'm too old to take care of this house all by myself... Oh, my back is killing me." She missed my help, not me. I overlook this, knowing she didn't mean it that way. She has a tendency to act like she lives in a soap opera drama and swings between flimsy to slightly hypochondriac often. I love her regardless.
"It's so good to see you, Amelia," Mom says, giving Amelia a quick hug. "Please, take a seat. Do you want something to drink? I made a delicious sweet tea –"
"Ah, my Sookie is here. I missed you so much, sweetheart." My dad comes in abruptly, cutting my mother off.
I hug my father warmly and say, "I missed you too, dad. How is everything around here? Where is Jason?"
"Everything is great, honey. Nothing changed. We missed you. Jason is setting the griller outside; he'll be here in a minute," Dad explains, smiling at me adoringly.
"Why don't you go and start on the potato salad, Sookie? Everything you need is in the fridge." My mom tells me, making a face to my father. I chuckle. It's good to be home.
I nod to her in agreement before exchanging an accomplice look with dad. I let go of his embrace and walk over to the fridge to grab the ingredients for the potato salad. I set everything on the kitchen table, taking a seat, and begin to skillfully chop the ingredients. Amelia gets another chopping board and knife with my mom and soon enough we have everything chopped. I fix the potato salad and place it in the refrigerator. My mom washes the lettuce leaves, setting them to drain while Amelia prepares a special dressing she knows. I go tell Jason to set the table outside, since he didn't come in yet.
"Hey, J." I greet him with a smile, leaning on him to take a look at the backyard. My dad is grilling the steaks, with a big smile on his face.
"Hi, sis. Missing me already? I guess you couldn't help…" he says, smirking, "How is life in the big city?"
"It's great, J. Maybe you could visit someday? I'd like that. Just give me a call so we can set things up, okay?" I speak sincerely.
We chat a bit longer as I help him set the table. We go back to the house and find other tasks at hand needing our attention. With all of us working in unity, lunch is ready in no time. We take our seats at the table my dad placed under the oak in the backyard, make our plates, and begin eating and talking animatedly. I love having outdoor meals, the comforting familiarity at my old home, the flawless sunny day at the end of the summer, my mom bickering with my dad over the silliest things one can imagine, Jason's funny, sardonic, and narcissistic comments, Amelia laughter every now and then, and little Tina nesting on my lap while I eat. It is a quite pleasurable lunch with my family and friend, but somehow it doesn't feel quite complete, there is something missing. I imagine what, or rather who I'm missing.
"Everything was delicious, mom," I say satisfied, glancing at her from across the table. "And those steaks were just perfect, dad."
"Thanks, darling. I've been up since seven o'clock preparing this meal for you all," my mother says meekly.
"And we all appreciated it, my heart," my father replies.
He and Jason stay behind to clear up the backyard. Amelia helps me carry the empty dishes to the sink. I wash them clean and she dries. Mom stows the leftovers and soon enough, we all finish cleaning. Amelia and I spend a few more minutes enjoying their company before we freshen up, saying our farewells and getting back to the car.
The trip back to Shreveport is fairly quiet. Amelia and I stay silent most of the time, especially because she dozes off as soon as we hit the road. I take her directly to the airport, given that her flight leaves in less than two hours. We get there just in time for her to do the check in and we say our goodbyes.
"Thank you so much for coming, Amelia. I don't know what I would do without you," I utter meaningfully.
Amelia offers me her brightest smile, and, looking me straight in the eye, she says, "It's always a pleasure, my friend." She takes my hand in hers and goes on, "I want you to let yourself be happy, Sook. Don't let this irrational fear you have fettered to your heart prevent you from living, Sook. Promise me you're going to try with Eric, at your own pace, but that you're gonna open your heart again."
I gape at her for a moment, unable to speak. I clear my throat before protesting, "Don't you get it, Amelia? I'm not afraid of love per se. I'm terrified. I'm terrified of loving and losing the one I love again. I couldn't endure that, not for a second time..." I give tongue to my darkest fears for the first time; the inevitable tears pooling in my eyes.
"Oh, Sook, everybody dies eventually, honey," she begins kindly. "You and Bill never had a chance to get to love each other. You love this idealistic vision you have of Bill, and that's because he died before you had the chance to actually love him. I know you think you'll never fall for someone like you fell for him and you probably won't, honey. Don't you see? Each love is different and special in its own way. You just have to open your heart and be brave." She says, offering me a small comforting smile.
I stare at her as the words sink in. I realize that Amelia has spoken the truth. Bill and I never had the chance to truthfully get to love one another. Although our love was pure and beautiful in a romantic way, it never developed into a real, intrinsic sentiment. It was withheld from reality through an idealist version of love, flourished by passion and tragedy.
The realization hits me like a heavy blow. Though it pains me, I can finally recognize that my love for Bill is only a sublime memory of what might had been, a wistful love beyond restrains that will be forever in my heart. And my fear of losing the ones I love is completely far-fetched, since death itself is unavoidable; a self-indulgent excuse I unconsciously use to avoid anymore heart-ache. How silly of me.
I nod, acquiescent. "You're right," I speak at last, taking to heart the veracity of her words.
She pulls me in a reassuringly embrace. "I love you and I want you to be happy," she whispers at my ear.
"And I love you, Amelia," I answer, hugging her tight.
Straightening, she says with a light laugh, "I'd better go and take my plane. I don't want to have to crash at your apartment and hear all those "Oh, Eric," again." I blush ten shades of red baffled, looking at her wide-eyed. She just laughs, waving at me and walks away.
"Have a safe flight!" I bellow, finding my voice as she scuttles her way to the gate and waves at me once more, before disappearing through the aisle.
I drive back to my place, all the while thinking of Amelia's words. As much I love Bill's memory and always would, I have to take a chance and try to be happy with someone. If this someone is Eric or not, I don't know. What matters is that I will not live fearing the inexorable any longer.
I get to the apartment about six o'clock. As I let myself in and close the door behind me, I see Pam talking on the phone with a bored-to-death expression on her face. She notices me and hold up a finger to signal she'll be done in one minute. I nod, smiling to her. Not a second later, I glimpse a little blonde head jump off the couch and come springing in my direction. I look down and to my utter enchantment there she is, Annika, looking up at me with a big smile on her lips.
"Sookie!" she calls out, clearly pleased to see me as well. "You came. Aunt Pam said you were out."
I bend down to give her a hug. "Yes, sweetie, I was. But I'm glad I came back in time to see you."
"I made a drawing. Wanna see it?" she asks excitedly.
"Of course I wanna see it," I answer, standing up and taking her hand in mine. She leads me to the living room and tells me to sit by her side. I do as she asks and she shows me the drawing. It was pretty good for a 4-year-old. I could distinguish several people, a floating house, and a big tree.
"This is daddy," she points out the biggest human form in the center of the paper. Of course. I chuckle at her sharpness. "This one holding daddy's hand is me, this is you…"
"Me? Are you sure?" I blurt out extremely surprised. "I thought it was your Aunt Pam. But I can see that you are right, it's really me. Thanks for drawing me too, sweetie. I love it," I amend hastily, giving her a kiss on the cheek. I don't want her thinking I don't like her art. I'm simply stunned that she considered including me in a drawing of her family. And I was standing by her other side, holding her hand, like a motherly figure. That gives me something to think about.
"No, silly. Aunt Pam is here, see?" she shows Pam by Eric's side, eyeing me like I'm a bit stupid for my own good.
"Yeah, looks exactly like her. But what about the others? Who is this?" I ask pointing to the form next to Pam.
"It's my granny. She gave me the dollhouse, I played there today. And this one is my nanna."
"It's a very beautiful drawing, I really love it. Well done, Ann," I say proudly; she proffers me the sweetest of smiles. I beam back at her, captivated.
Pam closes her cell phone and comes to sit at the coffee table, right in front of us, "Hey, Sook. Glad to see you're already back. How was everything at home?" She greets me, while holding out her hand to take a look at Annika's drawing.
"Everything went great. You missed a really nice barbecue."
"Maybe next time…" she says, peering at me from the border of the paper. "Listen, could you do me a favor? I have to go out to resolve a problem and it's already six. Would you give Annika dinner while I'm out?"
"Sure, Pam, don't worry about that. I can cook a nice dinner for her. I was planning on making dinner for us anyway," I guarantee earnestly, shooting a wink to Annika. "Is everything okay, though?"
"It's only an unexpected nuisance." I nod. She continues: "In any case, if it takes more than I estimate, I'll call Eric and he'll come by to pick up Ann."
"Okay. Is there anything she doesn't eat or does she have any allergies you may want to tell me about?" I say, ignoring the whole Eric subject thing.
"She doesn't have any allergies, but she is a picky eater," Pam informs me as she bends over to give Annika a kiss on her temple. She takes her bag and soon after she leaves.
"Do you like cooking, Ann? Would you like helping me this evening?" I ask her animatedly, jumping off the couch.
She follows my steps, gazing at me, and solemn-faced says, "Yes. My daddy cooks very well. He lets me help him and says I'm a good cooker too." I gawk at her, wanting to squeeze her tight. Oh my God, so cute.
"Oh, I'm glad you are helping me then," I say, grinning as we head to the kitchen.
I put on an apron and Annika say slightly pouting, "I want to use one of those too, Sookie."
"Sure, sweetie. I have one here for you too." I rummage around for my waist apron. I promptly find it and put it on her, tying the straps at her back like a strapless dress. I give it one turn and tie it again in a bow by her waist line. "There you go, yours in is even nicer than mine."
"Yours is nice too, Sookie, honest," she says mildly.
"Aww, thanks Ann." I give her a quick hug and set a chair for her to climb up on.
I wash my hands and take out all the ingredients for my Summer Veggie Crêpes. I prepare the filling while Annika spreads the ready-to-use crêpes over the already floured counter top. I spoon the filling in the center of the crêpe and she rolls them closed, apparently having fun with it. I top each crêpe with chive-cream sauce and serve with a tossed salad for me and chopped fruits for her. Soon enough we have our dinner all set.
"Your daddy is right, Ann. You're really a very good cooker, you know?" I tell her after my first bite; it tastes absolutely delicious.
"I told you," she answers, eating her dinner approvingly. "What is in these? I don't know, but I think I like it."
"Just some special ingredients I keep around here, like chicken, corn, ricotta cheese, green beans, and zucchini."
"Ugh!" Annika makes an ugly face. "I don't like beans and zucchini."
"Ah, you just said you liked it. I love beans and zucchini, they make me prettier," I confide, offering her my brightest smile.
"No, they don't," she retorts, with a hint of doubt in her sweet voice.
"Yes, they do. Look at my hair, it's long and shiny because I eat veggies and fruits every day."
"I like long hair… and yours is the same color as my daddy's," she says, pensive. I had never noticed that. Geez, kids don't miss a beat.
"See? Your dad eats veggies too, that's why his hair is so beautiful," I remark sincerely. Well, no need to fib here. He does have beautiful hair. I sigh, suddenly letting my thoughts delve into Eric. His silky hair, his perfect mouth, his broad shoulders, his amazing abs, his butt… Oh my… his butt.
"What is the dessert, Sookie? I finished my dinner," Annika asks, pulling me out from my reverie.
"Hot in here, isn't?" I comment, fanning myself.
"I don't know," she says, eyeing me with a funny expression. "The dessert? I always have dessert after dinner."
"Oh, sorry, yes. Do you like peanut butter and jelly?"
"Yeah, I love it," she says, bouncing happily as she claps her hands together and beams at me.
I grin at her excitement, pleased to notice that she ate almost all the food in her plate. I grab the peanut butter and jelly and two spoons. I hand her a teaspoon and open both jars. I dunk my tablespoon in it and offer it to her.
"Straight from the jar?" she asks uncertain, her eyes wide staring at me.
"Oh, yeah. It's way more fun. And you deserve it. You ate all your veggies and fruits," I assure her with a wink.
We both dig into the peanut butter and jelly eagerly. Annika and I make quite a mess; we couldn't stop giggling as we toss dessert on each other's face. By the time we finish eating, we're both messy with sticky faces and hands. I lead her to the bathroom with certain difficultly, she keeps trying to escape my grasp, running away triumphantly, giggling. When I finally grab her and am able to take her to the bathroom, I opt for a shower instead of cleaning her face with a humid towel, like I did to mine. Given the condition she is in, a shower is definitely the best choice.
"That was fun," she tells me giggly.
"It really was, wasn't it?" I answer, grinning like I just turned 4 too.
I'm glad she had the apron on, otherwise her cute little dress would be all smeared. I unfasten the apron and take off her clothes, taking her straight into the shower. I start by washing her hair; she has such lovely, babyish, blonde hair. I give her my scented, colorful soaps to play with and she seems to like them a lot. We talk and play while I rinse the shampoo out of her hair and pass her some conditioner.
"…Debbie told me her mommy works and cooks dinner for her every night, then gives her shower and puts her in bed. She reads a story too." After a small silence, she continues, "Daddy says our family is different, without a mommy. But I would like to have a mommy. Can I choose my own mommy, Sookie?"
My heart sinks hearing Annika express her wish to have a momma. I hunker down on my haunches and look into her luminous blue eyes. I don't know if I could ever say the right thing to placate what must feel like a void to her. All I could do is try, "Oh, Ann, baby. It doesn't work that way. Your daddy is the one who chooses a momma for you and he'll do it when the time is right. He'll choose the perfect momma and I'm sure you'll love her as she'll love you." She eyes my face intently, I go on, "Until then, you have all those people you put in your drawing that loves you dearly, including me, sweetie."
She tilts her head a bit, like she's thinking over what I just said. She touches my cheek with her soapy, warm, little hand. "I'm gonna tell daddy to choose you then. I like you." She pauses, shakes her head, and then she corrects herself by adding in a very convinced manner, "No, I love you, Sookie. And I want you to be my mommy."
I gasp, taken aback by this completely unforeseen confession. I stare at Annika, speechless for a moment. Then, before I can think of an answer, there is a knock on the door. I sigh, somewhat relieved. "One minute," I shout right away as I finish rinsing Ann's hair and little form. I set her on top of the toilet, gently toweling her dry, and brushing her hair. I couldn't stop thinking that perhaps salvation came in the form of this little Botticelli angel, her unexpected affection a solace to my wrenched heart, and from her father who possibly wants me, despite my emotional disability.
As we come out the bathroom, I stop in my tracks brusquely, taking in the spectacle in front of me. Eric is leaning against the counter nearby, arms folded across his chest. He has a satisfied smile playing around his mouth and a charming black eye, if that is possible. Damn, it sure is. Given that a simple pair of jeans and a classic shirt looks incredible on him, anything is possible when it comes to this man.
"Daddy!" Annika cries gleefully, running to Eric's extended arms.
He swiftly picks her up into his embrace and gives her a peck on the cheek. "How is my girl doing?"
"I cooked dinner with Sookie, daddy. And we played with peanut butter and jelly and got dirty faces. She gave me shower too. She would be a good mommy," Annika tells him - anything but subtle.
"It seems like you had a lot fun then," he says, amused, not taking her bait. "Hi," he smiles, swinging his gaze to me.
"Hey," I say, smiling back at him, asking myself how he got in; probably with Pam's key.
"Did she give you too much trouble?" he asks, peering at me. I feel myself go irremediably red in the face, as I become aware of my current state. I'm barefoot, I still have my apron on, which is soaked, and my hair is falling in my face in a completely untidy mass. Without thinking twice, I strip off the apron and try to smooth my hair, most likely making it worse.
I smile sheepishly, conveying laconically, "No, not at all. We simply had dinner and Ann got messy as she said; I did too as you can see."
He smirks, glancing back at his daughter. "Why don't you go put your clothes on so we can head home, Ann?"
"Right now?" she asks, sticking out her lower lip.
"Yes, right now. Do you need help?"
"No, daddy. I can change by myself," she says, slightly insulted that he offered. I chuckle.
He set her down on the floor and she sashays to Pam's room after picking up her bag. I watch, amused.
The instant she shuts the door, he is on me. "I see Ann is putting you in the hot spot already," he says playfully, holding me in his arms, hugging me to him. His extraordinary blue eyes overpower me in their dazzling force. I involuntary wrap my arms to his shoulders and beam in breathless anticipation, our lips only inches apart from each other.
"Yeah, I believe she is," I say with a chuckle. He stares deeply into my eyes, the expression on his face intense, like he could truly see me through them, and I am starting to believe he could. He smoothes the hair away from my face, and kisses me full on the mouth. His skillful lips are nothing like I remember; their firm warmness feels a thousand times better darting against my own than my memory lead me to believe. I savor the gentle pleasure of his tongue slipping into my mouth, inviting me to taste him. I reach up on my tiptoes to cling to his neck. His tantalizing seize on my mouth grows more avid by the second; his lips taking absolute control over mine, moving shrewdly with uncontained passion. I revel in it, offering my mouth more fully to him.
He kisses me with such hunger that I feel myself go limp in his arms. His hands find my breasts, and stroke them with firm prowess, making me shiver with delight. He tears his lips away with a groan, suddenly hauling me up onto him. He lifts my legs in a swift movement, making me cross them above his hips tightly, while he presses my back against the wall. His mouth captures mine again in a hard, sizzling kiss. I run my hand through his sleek hair, pulling it hard as he rubs the bulge on his pants against my center, making both of us tremble with fleeting pleasure. I let out a moan, muffled by his mouth, before I draw away slowly, searching for air.
"We… need… to stop… Annika," I caution breathlessly, alarmed that she could be witnessing this whole scene. This could scar a child for life. He reluctantly set me down and surveys the room for his little girl.
"She isn't out yet," he protests, his voice hoarse and barely audible. I bite my lip, fighting the longing to jump him.
"Eric, she can come back any minute," I admonish, my own voice sounding raspier than normal.
"I'm ready, daddy," Annika calls out as she comes in. I remove myself from his embrace hurriedly, before she can spot us. I place myself strategically in front of him, to cover his enormous predicament.
Eric clears his throat, and tells her evenly, "Good. Say goodbye to Sookie, Ann. Don't forget to thank her for taking good care of you."
"Can I come back later to play with you again, Sookie?" she pleads, ignoring her father's orders, her eyes fixed on me.
"Of course, sweetie. You can come back here anytime," I say, bending down to fix the buttons on her knit swing jacket; she had missed a few holes. "There you go. You look absolutely stunning, Ann. The most beautiful little girl I ever saw." I remark, giving her a hug. She beams and hugs me back, giving me little kisses on the cheek.
"Um… we really have to go now, daddy?" She asks a bit sad, tugging at my hand as she turns her gaze to Eric.
"Yes, we do if you want me to read you a story tonight, Ann," he offers, raising his eyebrow to her.
"Fine."
"You can go ahead, little one. Mrs. Öberg is downstairs waiting for us. I'll meet you in a minute."
"Fine. Bye, Sook." She walks away discontented, thumping her feet to the floor.
"Bye, sweetie," I say as she slams the door shut.
"Where were we?" Eric inquires as he holds me into his arms once more, brushing his lips on mine.
"You should go, Eric," I utter, my voice sounding more hesitant than I would like to admit.
He kisses me lightly again, and says: "Only if you let me take you out on my next day off."
"Are you asking me on a date?" I ask surprised, narrowing my eyes at him, while giving him little smooches.
He grants me another kiss. "That is what it looks like, isn't it?" He strolls blindly aiming for the door, with me clinging to him.
"Things are happening so fast between us," I say, through a peck on his lips.
"Um hum," he mutters into my mouth.
"Let's just take it slow, okay?" I murmur on his.
"As you wish," Eric says teasingly, smacking his lips on mine repeatedly. "Date?" He eyes me, one brow quirked in an inquisitive manner.
"Maybe," I murmur against his mouth as I kiss him once more. "Yes," I amend with a fluttering kiss. "Possibly," I finish with another.
He laughs amused, glancing at me askance, "I guess I was under the impression you liked me, all these kisses... Perhaps I should keep looking for a –"
"No, I mean, yes. I like you. No need for looking," I cut him off, kissing him again. We kiss one more time before he turns to go home. "Bye, Eric."
"Bye, my dear," I lean on the door as I shut it slowly, a smile taking shape at the corner of my lips. "Shit, I forgot his sweater," I remember tardily. "I'll give it back to him on our date," I say to myself, feeling all too giddy.
I stay there for a moment, unmoving, dealing with a cacophony of mixed emotions. I had decided to give it a try. I owe this to myself. I would go out with Eric on a date and we could go from there, no pressure, no qualms intended. I could eventually liberate myself from the emotional burden, I already started. And though that are several things involved in this unlikely relationship, like his career and needs, my own career and needs, and little Ann who wants and desperately needs a momma, I find myself wanting to be there for her, for them. I could at least try. What I couldn't do was to surmount the fact that one day he would have to choose a momma for her, and the fortunate woman could not be me.
"Please, let it be me," I whisper, praying to life.
A/N: What is on your mind? I'd absolutely love to know.
Did I ever say how much faster reviews make me write? They really do. And there is an EPOV coming… :)