Hello everyone and welcome back for yet another update from me – I'm on a roll, yeah! This fic was put on the backburner for a while due to the much greater demand for updates to Job Interview. However, I really enjoy writing this fic so I going to continue updating it. Hope everyone out there enjoys it too! Thanks to everyone who has read and reviewed so far – I really appreciate the feedback!!

Summary so far: (since it's been a while) Heero has been having odd dreams to do with the war and, in particular, the Zero System. When he discovers that Duo has been experimenting with building a new mobile suit from spare parts he has found while doing salvage work he realises that he's not the only one finding it difficult to let go of the past.

He comes up with the idea of using the Zero system to look at alternative paths of action and their consequences; something that he's hoping will assist Relena and the Preventors in maintaining peace. Surprisingly, Relena agress to it despite her committment to avoiding war-like actions. However, due to the increasinly-unstable political climate, this experiment has to be carried out in utmost secrecy. Some already doubt the wisdom in reviving the Zero system but Heero is driven to see his experiment through.

Relena rubbed her hands across her eyes tiredly then glanced at her watch. Almost lunchtime...now she just had to get away. She called her secretary who reassured her that she could take a lunch break until a scheduled video conference at 2.30pm, then took out her mobile phone and sent Heero a simple message.

"Are you ready?"

It seemed stupid to be so cautious in a private message between the two of them but Heero had warned her about messages being intercepted. The reply came almost immediately.

"Level 0 Cafeteria. 5 minutes"

Relena gathered her things and left her office at an unhurried pace though her heart was going a mile a minute. Heero had succeeded in completing the fitting of the test module in record time. If all went to plan he would be conducting the initial tests with the Zero system later that day. The thought excited yet worried Relena...if Heero were right the system could prove to be invaluable to prolonging the peace...but the psychological strain placed upon Heero himself could be formidable.

She tried not to glance at her watch again as she was waylaid by a co-worker; it wouldn't do to show impatience. Relena smiled and nodded in all the right places but her mind was a million miles away. If anyone had asked her what the woman had said Relena would have drawn a blank. Eventually she managed to disengage herself and continued her journey, hoping that her politician's mask would be sufficient to disguise the excitement bubbling in her stomach. She barely avoided sighing out loud whenever she caught sight of yet another co-worker who she couldn't avoid. It wouldn't do to seem in a hurry; after all she was officially on lunch break. By the time she made it to the cafeteria Heero was a welcome sight. He was like a pool of calm among the bustle of masses of people rushing from a to b, each intent on their own errands. He sat off to one side, casually sipping at a carton of apple juice. Relena envied him his calm; very little ever seemed to fluster him. She slid onto the bench across the table from him and leaned forward eagerly.

"How is it?"

She didn't have to worry about being overheard – the tables on either side of them were empty and the noise in the cafeteria was more than enough to mask an individual conversation.

"Preliminary tests show no problems. I will run the first full test this afternoon."

"Can I be there Heero?"

He seemed surprised at her question, though Relena imagined that he would have anticipated it.

Heero hesitated. He could see why Relena would want to be there; after all she was the one with the most to lose or gain from his project. Also, she had witnessed its use during the war so was perhaps more aware the others of the psychological effects on the users. There was no logical reason for him to prevent her being there but...he didn't want her to. It was as simple as that. He didn't want her to witness the state he would be in after the Zero System had torn into his consciousness. He didn't want to put her at risk by putting her in close proximity to himself while in a mentally unstable state. It had taken him a long time to reconcile himself with simply meeting with her when he was thinking normally without seeing assassins in every shadow.

Relena was still waiting patiently for his reply, her blue eyes bright with emotions he couldn't read...or didn't choose to. It would be dangerous for him to acknowledge some of the things he could see in her eyes...dangerous for both of them.

She watched Heero's consideration carefully, trying to follow his train of thoughts by the minuscule changes in his body language. They would be invisible to anyone but someone like her who had watched him for years. She had made a study of Heero Yuy and all his peculiarities and, while she would never presume to know what he was thinking, she could make an educated guess.

Heero looked up, "You can watch from the observation module. It might not be...safe to have you in the room."

Relena didn't argue or ask him for his reasons. If he didn't volunteer them, asking would get her no answers.

He stood abruptly, "Follow me"

They walked a roundabout route so as to confuse anyone following and the security cameras. Finally Heero opened an old fire-escape door and they descended a flight of stairs to the basement. Relena noted the lack of security cameras.

"Isn't this a security risk?"

"It would be...if myself and Wufei didn't know about it"

Relena nodded and remained silent for the remainder of the descent. She liked the way Heero answered her questions even if they probably seemed silly to him. He never treated her as if she were stupid or weak, even after the number of times he had protected her. And she could always rely on his answers to be honest. However, he wouldn't volunteer information until she asked the right questions; he preferred to guide her along the correct lines rather than hand her the data on a plate. It was sometimes frustrating but always interesting.

Relena tried not to make her interest too obvious as Heero showed her around the room. The door opened with an ordinary key but she had no doubt that he had passwords in place upon the computer systems involved to ensure no unauthorized access. She didn't want Heero to guess the seeds of an idea which had taken root inside her head, but she watched carefully as he disabled the security systems around the room. The observation module was the equivalent of what must have been the technician's office during the room's former role as a computer suite. It was set up with a computer that would show the statistics from each of the health monitors, as well as a window overlooking the chair where the person using Zero would be seated. Relena couldn't help it – she was curious. This system was so powerful and so dangerous that the very mention of the software had been forbidden. And here she was in a room with the last remaining copy and one of the only people ever to master it. What had Heero and her brother seen while using it?

She ran her hand along the arm of the pilot's seat, beginning to wonder how it would have felt to sit there during a combat situation...

Relena looked up guiltily as Heero turned towards her.

"Relena, I..." he led her into the observation module, "I want you to stay in here for the duration of the test. Even if...anything out of the ordinary should happen."

He seemed to be choosing his words very carefully. Relena opened her mouth to protest, but Heero cut her off.

"My behaviour while under the influence of the Zero system may be erratic but it isn't safe for you to interfere."

He moved back into the main part of the room, closing the door firmly behind him and fighting the urge to lock it as well. The more he thought about it the more unhappy he was about letting Relena witness the first tests. He was weaker now than he had been when he had first encountered the system. Heero knew how easily the system could find and exploit any chinks in one's emotional armour...and he had so many more possible areas of exploitation now than he had during the war. When the war had started he had been trained up until that moment to be a soldier, by one of the people who had created Zero in the first place and even then the system had found weaknesses.

He didn't want to admit it to Relena but he was worried; would he be the best person to use the Zero system or would he be unable to see clearly through eyes clouded by guilt and uncertainty? Would the images that haunted his nightmares every night be used against him by the system?

He glanced through the window and almost, but not quite, mustered a smile. She would know there was something wrong if he tried too hard.

Relena watched Heero as he moved around the room making the final preparations, growing steadily more anxious. There was no logical explanation for her fears but she was afraid. The system seemed almost malignant.

The slight smile from Heero reminded her of the night on Libra when he had left to fight her brother, the look in his eyes...the words he had said then rang in her head and Relena fought an inexplicable urge to stop things before they could go any further. This wasn't right...the war was over and Zero was dead just like it should be. She took a breath to speak, then stopped as Heero turned to face her once more. There were so many things in his eyes, too many for her to understand them all at once but she knew that he was determined to see his experiment through. He had fought for peace every bit as much as her and, like her, he would continue fighting until his last breath. Zero could be the only thing standing between them and maintaining that peace.

She sat down heavily in the chair and gave Heero a nod. She had known for a long time that there was no chance of either of them leading a normal life and this was just the latest thing among many that they had to do.

Heero watched her take a seat and returned her nod before turning away to face the Zero System. His heart was pounding with a mixture of anticipation and dread so he called upon his training to bring his body back to normal before strapping himself in and activating the health monitors. Despite the long break, his skills had never truly left him and his body reacted quickly.

Relena's voice came through the intercom clearly.

"Everything seems to be working fine. All readings normal"

Heero caught her eyes through the glass. Someone needed to be here for the tests but he still wasn't sure if Relena were the best person...he never wanted her to see him in a state like that he had been in after his first encounter with the system.

Relena watched, her heart in her throat as Heero caught her eye for one last time before turning back to the screen in front of him and activating the system. Anything could happen now.

Heero stared at the screen in front of him flashing, 'Zero' for a second before the room around him began to fade. Then Zero took hold of his brain and he lost all track of all rational thought.

Relena bent forward to see more clearly as Heero's eyes opened wide and his body strained against the restraints. It was obvious that he was seeing things that weren't in the room with them. The charts started to fluctuate and she watched nervously as his brainwaves began to spike unnaturally. What could she do if this experiment went wrong? Wouldn't it be even more dangerous for Heero if she cut off the power? Relena's fingers dug into the arms of her chair as she watched Heero's body stiffen as if he were in pain. She had to trust him.

Heero screamed soundlessly as the world disintegrated around him and his brain was pummelled with information too quickly for him to register anything. He caught sight of Relena's face and hooked onto it, anchoring his consciousness around that tiny point of stability. It was strange; he could feel the armrests of the chair as his fingers dug into them but when he looked down at his body he could see himself floating in a dark, empty space. Was he inside his own mind? Or was it a hallucination induced by the Zero system?

He could tell that it was a mistake to focus on Relena's face almost as soon as he did it. The Zero system had never failed to take advantage of his weakness towards her in the past and he was sure that it would have no hesitation in doing so again.

She was standing in the sight of his beam rifle and turned slowly to look at him as he pulled the trigger...Heero tore his mind away forcefully and tried to think of anything but Relena. He would not watch her die by his hands again. He already saw that every night in his nightmares.

Heero felt a faint sense of panic as memories he had locked away began to flood back to him. He could feel the overwhelming presence of the Zero system pressing in upon him malevolently. The Zero system had never just been another operating system – it had always had a kind of awareness, almost a consciousness of its own.

Suddenly he was standing on the supplies deck of a large spaceship. It reminded him of Libra but a few seconds of observation reassured him that it was not. Wherever he was it wasn't trapped inside an old memory.

The lighting was oddly dim and Heero strained his eyes into the shadows at his feet. A man lay there, a pool of blood spreading out steadily around him. Heero stepped back, wary, and unwilling to let the pool of blood lap at his toes. The man had no unusual features that could have served as identification. Heero knelt quickly to check for signs of life but he knew already that he would find none. The pool of blood spread further and Heero stepped back once again, unease growing in the pit of his stomach. So many things about this scene were ringing untrue that his intuition was screaming at him to get out. He stepped back again and felt his back come up against the cool metal wall. There was so much blood...how could the human body hold so much blood? It was black in the semi-darkness and he began to doubt his own eyes – was it really blood after all? As he bent closer, the flood beneath him rocked and he was thrown to one side by a nearby explosion. It lit up the scene in shocking colour, leaving no doubt that it was blood spreading across the corridor floor. Heero landed neatly, instincts taking over and shook his head to relieve the ringing in his ears. But there was no ringing, in fact there was no sound at all nor had there been since he entered the vision. There was another flash of light from the end of the corridor but this time he felt no accompanying shock wave. In the flash the entire area was lit up and he could see blood dripping from every surface...his back came away from the wall slick with blood. He closed his eyes slowly and willed the scene to change.

When he opened them again he was the observation deck of yet another ship...or at least he assumed it was. It disturbed him that he couldn't identify the ships he was on, particularly because the Preventors kept a tight hold upon who could manufacture or own a spaceship. If a warship like the one he had originally found himself on did exist, things were already more advanced towards war than he had feared.

He glanced around the observation deck, pausing as his eyes lighted upon Relena. She had her back to him and was gesturing wildly as she appeared to argue with someone in front of her. Heero strained his eyes again but he couldn't see who she was speaking to, or hear any of what was being said. Light caught on a ring sparkling on her left hand...on her ring finger and Heero's interest sharpened. Was Zero showing him possible futures? Heero watched as Relena turned and ran past him out of the room, tears pouring down her cheeks. She passed so close to him that he could have reached out and touched her if he had so desired. As she passed him he turned and felt his foot catch on a step that didn't exist. But before he could rationalise his response he was falling. He landed heavily, his head colliding with the ground and everything dissolved into unconsciousness.

Heero woke with his face pressed against the control panel of Wing Gundam. Several of the sensors were beeping loudly to warn him that he was in a combat zone. He appraised the situation quickly and set to work. Unlike in his dream, the Gundam reacted just like it should. Heero felt a wild joy surge up inside him and he laughed as he dispatched the last few mobile dolls around him. He hadn't felt so complete in years...he and Wing were the perfect team! He was rocked forward in his seat as a shot connected with the back of Wing. He turned to fight but already his vision was disintegrating into whirls of colour. He felt the loss of his Gundam once again as sharply as though it were a physical separation of one of his limbs. The malevolent presence he had recognized as Zero retreated and Heero slumped forward into unconsciousness once again.

Relena was so tense watching the test that she was barely resting on her seat at all. Several times she started up, determined to step in and stop the experiment but Heero's warning was fresh in her mind. It might not be safe for either of them if the test were aborted early. She glanced at the timer on the screen to her right, willing it to go more quickly. For the initial test Heero had set a timer, after which the system would automatically power down. It was designed so that he would have an idea of how long had passed in the real world while he was using Zero and, in this case, so that he could work out the optimum length of exposure for information gathering and sanity preserving purposes. Relena jumped as Heero's laughter filled the test module; it was maniacal and cruel, owing nothing to mirth. She shivered slightly and glanced pleadingly at the clock once again...not long to go now. The brainwave monitor began to beep dangerously as the patterns displayed spiked more violently and Relena wrung her hands together feeling more helpless than she had in years. What could she do to help? When the system powered down she froze for a second watching Heero. But he didn't move. Relena shot from her seat and tore the door of the observation room open, slamming it against the wall in her haste. Was Heero okay?

He heart in her throat she closed the distance between them and knelt beside him. She could work out his physical condition as the health monitors slowly began to return to normal. But mentally was a whole other question.

"Heero? Heero, can you hear me?"

She gently unfurled his fingers from the armrests they were gripping and placed he hand against his forehead to tilt his head back so she could look at his face. It seemed as if he were sleeping but Relena was worried that his unconsciousness could be a result of mental trauma. Should she get a doctor? But how would she explain his condition? Maybe this whole idea had been a mistake. When Heero had initially brought it up he first instinct was to refuse...but his arguments had a point and Relena would entertain almost any idea if it would maintain peace.

She stood, running through options in her head. The only doctor within the Preventors that she knew personally was Sally and she had proved time and time again that she was a trustworthy ally. It was dangerous to let anyone else in on their secret but Heero's health had to come first. She wouldn't risk losing him.

As Relena turned to leaved Heero groaned and she spun towards him.

"Heero! Are you okay?"

Heero looked up slowly, his head splitting as if someone had hit him. For a moment he was confused about where he was, then the details of the room and Relena's concerned face swam into focus.

"Relena?" Her name was a question, but he soon remembered exactly why she was there...why they were both in a deserted storage room in Preventor headquarters. Heero looked at the computer system in front of him consideringly. He knew that he hadn't imagined the intense malevolence from the Zero system but he couldn't understand why he had regained consciousness with a splitting headache. That probably wasn't a good sign.

He was taken aback as Relena flung her arms round him.

"Thank goodness!"

She let go quickly, looking embarrassed, "I'm sorry...but I was worried about you"

He nodded, acknowledging her concern then pushed himself to his feet. He could feel Relena's eyes on him and tried not to let her see the fatigue seeping through his muscles. He retreated into the observation module and began typing up what he had seen. Things that might have seemed insignificant at the time could have an importance later.

Relena watched Heero's back disappear into the other part of the room and concentrated on bringing her breathing back to a normal rate and cooling her hot cheeks. She didn't know what had possessed her to hug Heero...anyone would agree that he was just about the most un-huggable person out there! But after what she had seen she had been concerned. If Heero was unharmed now she had no reason to stop the tests, but a nagging feeling in her gut made he doubt the wisdom of continuing them. What if something did happen whenever nobody was there to get Heero help?

She could hear him typing from the other room and jumped when he spoke.

"It's getting late. Don't you need to get back?"

"Heero, I...", she stopped and sighed, "You're right"

She gathered up her things, trying not to let Heero's dismissal affect her. She had known from the start that he didn't want her to be a direct witness or even have much involvement with his project beyond the necessary. But she knew him too well to imagine that he would take proper care of his health.

Relena paused at the door, "Be careful"

Heero didn't bother to reply, his mind still caught up in a re-enactment of the events he had witnessed through the Zero System. But he did look up at the shaft of sunlight that pierced the room whenever she opened the door. And, though he would never have admitted it, he did feel some small regret when both Relena and the sunlight were gone leaving him alone in the shadows. Still that was the way it had always been, the way it would always be...the way it should be.

Thank you for reading and please review!!

Individual thanks to everyone who reviewed the last chapter below:

Pureevil230 – Sorry for the massive delay but I promise to update regularly from now on...no more breaks like this one!! Thank you for reading and hope you still enjoy it!!!

charlie00 – I feel really guilty for not updating this fic for so long now....especially as I already have the majority of it written and it just needs typing up and editing!! Really happy you liked it and hope that you will still like it after such a long time without an update!! Oh and the chapters for this fic should remain about this length most of the way through!

Reignashii – Hope you will continue reading...I'm really looking forward to getting stuck into this story!!

Stardust Angel2 – Glad you liked it and hope you keep reading!!

IchigoKitsuneKoumori – Yup, using the Zero system is an idea that I imagine only Heero would have even entertained, let alone followed through with...just got to wait and see what happens!

Sakura123- wow, has been a long time since I updated...i feel bad now! But I wanted to say thank you for reviewing and am hoping to update soon!

Mini Nicka – Glad you liked it!

Melpomene Rose – Happy you liked it though i now feel even more guilty for not having updated in ages! I'm looking forward to updating more often, especially as I'm really enjoying writing within the original universe rather than just AU. Glad you liked Lady Une too!

Raksha – Sorry that the update didn't materialize any sooner than this...but I will be continuing! Hope you keep reading!

Once again, thank you to everyone for reading (and hopefully reviewing!lol) and I'm looking forward to seeing you soon! Next update should be in about 2 weeks!!