A/N: Hey guys! I'm sorry this one took me so long. My muse just abandoned me as soon as I started it and I had to wait for her to return… I hope you enjoy it, all the same.
Big thanks to my lovely beta, CassandraMello and her magic skills! You rock, Cass!
Disclaimer: I do not own these characters, but I do love them and nobody can blame for that!
Chapter 12 – Waiting For The Night To Fall
EPOV
It's almost four in the morning and I finally get to rest for the first time since my shift began, the day before, at 8am. Having the next day off and a date with Sookie to look forward to is what's keeping me running at this moment. And though my pager may go off at any minute, any sleep is worth snatching. I'm coming to the end of a 12-day rotation, during which I have been on duty every day, including one 36-hour shift with no break. But that's all about to be over; in just four more hours, I can go home. That's the bright side. Well, not exactly, but you get the gist. On the not-so-bright side, I have to rest in one of those ridiculous bunk beds they have in the on-call room. I'm too big for these damn things. Fucking dwarfs bunk beds.
As I lay here in the semi-darkness, the bed squeaking as it takes my weight, my feet dangling out of the mattress, my mind's eye brings forward every memory of her. There aren't many given that I met Sookie only twenty days ago; nevertheless, the thought of her continues to taunt and amaze me.
It has been almost two weeks since we last saw each other and I find myself missing her terribly, which is rather disturbing as far as I'm concerned. But disturbing or not, I miss her luscious, full lips molded perfectly to fit mine, her gorgeous, tanned legs wrapped around my hips possessively, her expressive blue eyes shaded with lust, her generous breasts stirring under my hands, her insanely alluring scent, and her dazzling smile... I miss all of her. For fuck's sake, I'm tired of sporting wood just from the thought of her at this point. No other woman has this effect on me; it's daunting and amazing at the same time. And for the first time in my life, I am at a loss when it comes to women.
I asked her on a date on that fatidic Sunday night. I couldn't control the desire that took hold of me to see her again. I didn't think of the implications a single date with her would entail at the time because there are implications, plenty of them. When I take a girl out my main purpose is get her under or on top of me; I'm not looking for a long-term relationship. But she isn't any girl. She's different. She's the one you take out on a date to start a relationship, not to fuck her senseless and never call again. That's what it meant when I asked her on a date, that I wanted to know her better, to start a relationship with her. A relationship? Am I serious? Am I willing to have a real relationship with someone? Not someone. Sookie. Am I willing to have a relationship with Sookie? I don't know.
I like my life the way it is. I have my residency in internal medicine that consumes my time immensely and a little girl to raise and care for; it's a struggle just to make time for her. That's why I am never tied down to any women more than for a couple of days; it saves me from a lot of headaches and emotional bonds. There is no one to bitch about my erratic work hours or depend on me for her sense of fulfillment in life. I can do whatever I want without having to consider anyone else, other than Ann. It took me a great deal of time and effort to find the right balance. I have created a somewhat lonesome but safe path in my life, which happens to be awfully convenient; it keeps Annika unscathed from deceitful aspirants looking to take up the role of mother and perfect wife, and things are just easier for me to deal with in general. Well, until Sookie came into my life and all my practicality and tried and true methods went to ground.
I suppose I have to take the risk eventually; I can't live this way forever. Annika wants a mom, no, she needs a mom. Although she's surrounded by people who love her, she needs someone she can respect, trust, and love like a mother, and I understand her need, I really do. But I also have to protect her from the Sophie Annes of the world; it's my job as a parent after all. Fuck. Why does it have to be so hard? There is so much pressure for me to handle it all alone and it is getting harder as time passes. Hell, I could use some real affection, companionship, and support in my life right now. I know I need it; everybody needs it. Why do I keep denying myself of those fundamental things? I'm not afraid of getting hurt; I'm no coward. Annika is four already; I can stop being overly cautious now, can't I?
"Grr, this is so frustrating," I grunt to myself.
I'm not one to sweat over the circumstances like this. I should listen to my guts and take this chance with Sookie. It's clear she is not a Sophie Anne by any means. Pam would know, and I have feelings for her, whatever they are. Furthermore, Ann is already very fond of Sookie and Sookie seems to reciprocate the feeling. But things can always go wrong. I need to be sure we're the real deal before involving my daughter in this. Take things slow, she said. That's exactly what I'm going to do.
I turn my head to look at the digital clock; it's almost five now and still, I didn't get any sleep. At least I wasn't requested downstairs, yet. The day after the party I was on-call as well and had been working for ten hours nonstop with fourteen more hours to go. I couldn't concentrate half of the time. I kept thinking of Sookie and making the most ludicrous mistakes over and over again. It was maddening and embarrassing. My attending gave me shit for my lack of attention and brain cells, twice. I mixed up two patients' charts, making the nurses really angry with me for quite some time. It wasn't like me to make mistakes, at least not those kinds of mistakes. I was losing my focus; all I could think of was her. By the time I went to have lunch, dinner, whatever you call it, I was crossed.
I was having my fifth cup of coffee of the day and eating a bland combination of allegedly healthy food at the hospital cafeteria, when Pam showed up, taking me completely by surprise.
"Oh, why – Hi, Pam," I greeted her stiffly, putting my meal on hold for the time being. Great. Fucking great.
"Well, hello champ," she saluted as she took a seat at my table. Watching me warily and seeing my discontentment, she grinned, satisfied with herself.
I shot her an annoyed look. "What is it, Pam?" I inquired without preambles, knowing full well she was there to give me hell about last night.
"Why are you so moody? Problems in the white fairyland?" she questioned, sarcastically and added, "I just wanted to talk with my valiant brother, is that so strange?" feigning innocence.
"Couldn't you have called or something? I have patients to attend to." I didn't have any patients to attend. I was on my break, only due back at midnight. Either way, I wasn't in the mood to talk at that moment.
"You would like that, wouldn't you?" she answered lazily, examining her nails briefly.
"What is this about? You should be watching Ann right now…" I remarked blankly, as she shifted her gaze to me, grinning. And then comprehension hit me. "Oh, I see… you can't help yourself, can you?"
"You can thank me later… How is your black eye?" she asked, sneering at me.
"Black," I retort blatantly, glaring at her.
"So I see," she remarked with a scornful grin. Leaning over the small table, she went on, "I have never seen you willing to come to blows for a girl or give a damn about any other girl, for that matter. She really got under your skin, didn't she?" she asked, holding my gaze in defiant mockery, daring me to say otherwise.
"I'm not one to abide violence against women, Pam," I quipped back, stonewalling the obvious.
"Right. And I turn into a wolf every full moon. Oh, Eric, you're an endless source of entertainment," Pam uttered joyously, her eyes sparkling with amusement.
While my dick didn't give a damn about anything and just wanted to have its way with her, my rational mind was in a constant duel with my natural instincts when it came to Sookie. There was something about her that made me lose my head and control. It wasn't like me to take part into a fight because of a girl I barely knew. I'm not the kind of guy who needs to throw punches indiscriminately to prove I have balls, but I couldn't merely watch that fucker act all possessive of Sookie, harming her like that and do nothing about it. I went blind with jealously - an emotion I had never been in contact with before - my blood boiled and my vision went red. Before I knew it, he was on me, and then he was on the floor.
I wanted to claim her at that moment and growl at anyone who dared to look at her twice, like I had won some sort of caveman scuffle. I stifled a chuckle at the memory. She awoke those irrational, primal needs within me. The urge to have her was eating me alive, like a fever, a gnawing yearning that never left me. The more I got close to her, the more I saw her, the more I wanted to make her mine. I had been attracted to many women before, but never like that, not like the way I felt attracted to Sookie. There was a disturbing increase of turmoil building inside me associated with craving her and not having her. If Pam hadn't interfered that night at her room, I don't know what I would have done. I thanked my sister on the drive home while she laughed, saying I looked plain right awful and, of course, hilarious in Sookie's Mickey Mouse T-shirt. I had to agree with her on that one.
"I'm positive you already know what happened between Sookie and I… So what do you truly want by coming here?" I asked directly, no reason to bullshit with Pam. She's too fucking smart for that.
"Aw, so impatient. I came by to let you know I left Ann with Sookie and she'll take good care of her until you can pick her up," Pam informed me with a wink. "After the way you two hit it off last night, you should go easy on her if you don't want her to run away. Though she might run in your direction from the look on her face this morning…" she added idly, tipping back on her chair.
"Thanks for the advice, Pam. I'll keep that in mind," I answered scornfully, though that last part of her statement pleased me.
"Here, I made this for you, just in case," she replied, tossing me a set of keys, before she left with a wily grin on her face.
I had to think it was providence or Pam pulling the strings, probably a combination of both. I was glad I would get the chance to see Sookie again. I didn't know I would end up that glad though. That night I went after her once more - the way my body had wanted right from the beginning. I couldn't resist the appeal of her voluptuous curves so close to me, yet not close enough, anymore. And how right it was. If only I had time, I could have enjoyed the feeling of her soft, warm skin against mine longer. Her mouth saying she wanted to take things slow, though her body screamed the opposite. But I had to go, Annika was waiting for me and it was just wrong. Hell, this woman is going to drive me insane, I muse, realizing the unsettling truth with a smile threatening to creep on my lips regardless.
I shift on the bed restless, looking for a better position. It's five-forty-five now. My thoughts keep me awake, despite my weariness. It bugs me that she can infiltrate my head like this even when I'm physically drained. I close my eyes, trying to catch some sleep, the thoughts of Sookie slowly drift away to the back of my mind. The accumulated exhaustion of so many days on duty finally takes hold of me and I fall fast asleep. I'm only dimly aware at the time my beeper goes off and the phone rings in unison, rousing me from my stupor. I roll out of the bed and reach for the phone first, rubbing my eyes absently.
"I'm here," I answer the dreadful thing, my voice sounding gruff.
"Dr. Northman, we have two ambulances arriving and the intern on duty is really behind. Would you come down and help out?" a voice says on the other end of the phone.
I curse under my breath. "I'm on my way."
I put on my shoes and hurry down the hall to the elevators to receive the incoming ambulances on the ground floor. I push the button, impatiently running my hands through my hair, smoothing it the best I can while waiting for the damn thing to arrive. As I step in and push the button, I glance at my watch. I'm surprised to see I had been asleep for more than an hour without interruption. I step out the elevator and dash to the ambulance landing area; I could already hear the sound of the sirens getting nearer.
I rush to the one that is backing up toward the landing first. As the ambulance stops, I reach for the door and twist it open. The ambulance crew had been performing artificial respiration and cardiac compression on a red-haired man of about sixty. He wasn't breathing and his heart had stopped since they picked him up, about ten minutes ago, the crew informs me. I complete all the routine procedures and declare this a simple case of DOA – dead on arrival. I absolutely hate when this sort of thing happens on my watch, when I can't do anything for the patient other than pronounce him dead. It's a horrible helpless feeling, one I'm not used to yet. The other ambulance pulls in and I go straight to the door, swinging it open.
The second patient is a young man, in his early twenties, who had gotten stabbed in a gang fight. Oh, the types we get here in the ER late at night... the young ones who tend to be reckless and the old ones who tend to fall like ripe fruits, the ones who just want company, the drunken ones, and every so often the ill and the injured.
The patient has a superficial three-inch cut over his upper arm, a broken rib, and a few scattered bruises. Since he doesn't have a private physician or means to pay for one, he's admitted as a staff patient and I or one of the residents has to take responsibility for his treatment. I knew full well that I am the only one available. Everyone else on the night shift is tied up in cases at the moment. I examine and treat him thoroughly. By seven o'clock, his laceration is sutured, his bruises and broken rib are treated, he's medicated, and his discharge papers are signed.
"Dr. Northman, while you're here," Indira, one of the nurses, begins, fixing her big almond eyes on me, "would you mind taking a look at my ankle? I twisted it a couple hours ago and it's really bothering me now."
I frown, finding it odd. A sprained ankle is something she could have handled herself as a nurse, but then again, what difference does it make at this point, I'm already here."Sure. Let's see this ankle of yours," I utter resigned.
Indira points to an empty room where I could examine her. She's limping slightly, I notice, taciturn. I tell her to sit down and take off her shoe; she knows the procedure and does exactly as I say. I perch myself on a stool and examine her ankle, which is mildly swollen around the bone on the outside. She could have asked the intern on duty beforehand or any other resident prancing around the ER to take a look at her ankle. Why wait? But more important, why did she asked me? It doesn't make sense. She surely isn't making this up, I consider, starting to become wary. I ask her a few pertinent questions to determine if she has a sprain or a fracture.
"Oh, Dr. Northman, you have such a gentle, but firm touch. Oh, yeah, right there… it really hurts there," she informs me, moaning lightly as I apply pressure on her joint. I look sideways at her face and find her fiery gaze aimed at me. Oh, that is what this is about.
I refrain from smirking. "It seems like a minor tearing of the lateral ligaments, but you should have an x-ray to make sure that it's nothing more serious," I recommend in a noncommittal sort of way, allowing her to go and take the x-ray.
Though Indira is a very attractive woman, and normally I wouldn't pass up a chance with her, I usually don't go out with coworkers. It's really not worth the headache. Nor do I have the desire to have any other women right now, I realize startled. Sookie got under my skin, after all.
Indira comes back twelve minutes later with her x-ray. I set it on the view box and search for broken bones or abnormalities. It's all normal. I give her a prescription for an anti-inflammatory and recommend the standard treatment: ice, rest, compression, and elevation.
"You shouldn't be walking too much. Try to rest your ankle, if it's possible working in the ER," I advise at last, shaking her hand and promptly heading for the door.
"Thank you, but I don't need to worry about that, my shift ends in a few," she states cheerfully, accompanying me. I turn my head to nod at her, the door hanging open in my hand. She surprises me by reaching out for my forearm, motioning for me to wait. "Dr. Northman, there is any way I could compensate you for your help? Would you let me cook you some breakfast? I live really close…"
I pay no heed to her attempt to seduce me. "Thank you, Indira. But that's not necessary."
"But I insist. I took you out of bed after all," she intones charmingly, smiling at me.
"If you insist… I'd be very grateful if you called someone else next time," I retort impassively.
Indira gapes at me, visibly dumbfounded. "Oh… Oh. Anything else?" she snaps, unhappy with my answer.
"No, that would be all. Thank you," I say as walk out towards the nurses' station.
I'm completely worn out and eager to go home by now. I don't want to stay another minute past my due time like every other day. Unfortunately, I still have some paper work to do before leaving. I get on it right way and finish it fairly quickly. I meet with Chow next – the intern who would take the day shift – so I can brief him. He asks me about the rolling bet when we're done.
"Nobody hit the jackpot yet, man," I let him know, shaking my head in entertained disbelief.
My black eye and fellow bruises were the subject of the past weeks at the hospital. One of my colleagues even started a bet with some of the others interns and residents. They each put a bit of money in a pool, with all the money going to the one who guessed how I got a black eye and a brow cut over that weekend. The bet grew, and in time, even the attending physicians and nurses were participating. There were all kinds of ludicrous bets, like: I had joined a fight club, got hit with a baseball bat by an angry ex-lover, got hit with a baseball bat by an angry husband, got hit by a ball in a baseball game, was in a car accident, a bike accident, even a roller-skate accident was in the bets list. Chow bet I got the bruises in a soccer match, since he knows I enjoy playing every so often.
I don't give a shit about what they think happened to me, but it has been a source of amusement for all of us during these past couple weeks; the damn thing is still running since not a soul guessed the right answer yet. I suppose they must consider me as an overly big and strong guy that doesn't get beat easily, given that none of them could take me in a fight. And their reasoning is fairly correct; I'm no easy bait. That douchebag just got lucky, with that fag ring of his. Rasul told me later that I knocked him out good. Rasul can't put his own money in the bet, but he's having fun being the judge of it.
"Oh come on, Northman. You could tip me off, no one would know… Am I at least on the right path?" Chow pleads furtively. I know he needs the money; he's always taking extra shifts in the hospital. Unlike me, Chow still owes a good amount of money from his medical-school days. My father left me a rather munificent inheritance when he passed away, which I used to pay for med school and to provide for my daughter, until I started to make my own money.
"No, you're way off the mark, Chow," I give him a hint, the most I could do to help him in those circumstances. I smile and surreptitiously return to my notes. He nods at me gratefully and slinks off to the locker room.
I, on the other hand, leave the hospital facilities, stepping out into the morning air. It's a beautiful day, the sky is clear and there are birds – mostly doves – everywhere. I find myself eagerly waiting for the night to fall as I walk to my car and head back home. It's a quick ride, less than fifteen minutes from the university medical center to my house. As I arrive home, a little past eight, I scurry up the stairs, going straight to my room. Mrs. Öberg had already taken Annika to preschool; therefore I'd have all morning to rest without disturbances. I take a quick shower, put some lounge pants on and slide between the cool, silky sheets. Soon enough, I'm sound asleep.
I wake up feeling slightly better. Sitting on the edge of the bed, I massage my temples, willing a headache to not surface. I push myself to my feet and go splash some water in my face. I glance at the digital clock on my nightstand on the way back and notice it's three-thirty in the afternoon. My baby girl is already home, I ponder with a smile. I put on a T-shirt and sprint down the stairs.
"Daddy! Daddy!" Annika shouts as she runs to me.
I take her in my arms and give her a kiss on the forehead. "Daddy missed his baby girl!"
"I'm a big girl, daddy," she retorts with a sweet, indignant tone. "I missed you too. Were you helping and taking care of people all this time?"
"Yes, that's exactly what I have been doing, but we had dinner a couple days ago, remember?" I answer amused, as I walk towards the kitchen.
"That's so long ago, daddy," she informs me with grin, wrinkling her little nose.
"If you think so…" I reply with a smile.
"Let's play hide-and-seek, daddy. I love to play hide-and-seek with you!"
"I'll play with you after I put something in my stomach, okay? It gives you time to think of places to hide."
After a little reluctance, she agrees with my offer. I put her down and look for something to eat in the refrigerator. I find some leftovers and set up a plate for myself. I finish eating my meal pretty damn quickly; I was famished by then. I couldn't even remember the last time I ate some shit at the hospital cafeteria. In fairness, I could have eaten when I got home early this morning but I was so exhausted, that I just wanted to crawl into bed at that time.
"Okay, Ann, let's play already!" I exclaim, somewhat recharged.
I close my eyes and start to count to 20. I can hear Ann giggling as she trails off to her hiding place. "Ready or not here I come," I call out.
I don't find Ann in the first round; she reaches the home base first. But during the next one, I catch her as well as for the others after that. She keeps finding me every single time she's "it". Although saying that a 6'4'' guy playing hide-and-seek doesn't stand a chance would be an understatement, ultimately she deserves the credit. Even so, I always suspected that's why she loves this game so much. We play together for good while, with Mrs. Öberg participating in the games as well. When we're both tired, Ann and I snuggle on the couch to watch "Finding Nemo" for the thousandth time, as Mrs. Öberg prepares Annika's dinner.
"Dinner is ready, little Annika," Mrs. Öberg calls out from the kitchen.
"Come on, Ann. We can finish it later," I say, hitting pause. I climb off the couch and hold my hand out to her.
She jumps to her feet, grabs my hand and answers speaking whale, "I ammm coooomiiing, naaannaaa…" I chuckle delighted.
I walk Ann to the kitchen and leave her there with her nanna to have dinner. She asks me to stay and have dinner with her, but I patiently explain to her I can't, that I have an appointment later on. She grudgingly understands, making me promise I'll read her a story before I leave. I wish I could spend more time with my daughter, though I still have to shower before my date with Sookie and I don't want to be late for our first real date.
I called her this week, when I had a few minutes free during one of my day shifts, to set up the details of our date. I didn't have much time to talk so we just agreed I'd pick her up at eight-thirty and take her out to a late dinner. I also planned a small surprise that I think she might like, but she knows nothing about it. She seemed fairly excited over the phone. Although we decided we'd take things slow, I am antsy and eager to see her, to have her in my arms, and to feel her bare skin against mine; my pants already getting tight, as if I was a horny teenager on his very first date. Control yourself, Northman. Control yourself.
I take a much needed second shower, washing my hair and shaving this time. I put on a pair of black dress pants and basic black leather loafers. I try a white and gray pinstripe shirt, but am not certain. I try a white one, a light blue dress shirt that intensify my eyes, and a charcoal one. Nothing seems good enough. I want to look refined but not like I tried too hard.
I snort. "Look at you, Northman. All worked up over a woman," I utter, looking myself at the mirror.
"Who are you talking to, daddy?" Ann asks, entering my room with her teddy bear, Lola, by her side.
"No one, sweetie. No one. How was dinner? You ate everything?"
"Yeah, I ate all my veggies," she says as she climbs up on my bed, staring at me curiously. "What are you doing, daddy?"
"Choosing a shirt… What do you think of this one?" I ask undecided, between a white dress shirt and a navy blue one.
"I don't know, daddy... I like the pink one better!" she tells me unsure, pointing to the pale pink shirt in my closet.
I laugh, not surprised by her choice; Annika loves pink. I try on a few more and end up choosing the white dress shirt with a black blazer on top, no tie. I put my daughter on her bed, making sure she brushed her teeth and read her the story. By the time I leave home, Annika is deep in sleep. I arrive at Sookie and Pam's place fifteen minutes later. I ring the bell, feeling startlingly anxious.
The door opens, revealing her flushed and curvaceous figure in an absolutely stunning dress. I'm instantly blown away by her beauty. She looks mouthwatering exquisite.
"Oh my…" is all I'm able to say. I want her. Mine. No other thought is possible when I am around her.
A/N: I wanted this chapter to be more like a day in Eric's life and for all of you to know what it's going on in his mind. Let me know what your thoughts are on this one! I'd absolutely love that!
Next chapter is the big date! *grins*
P.S. My classes started this week, so I might not be able to update as soon as I'd like, but I'll try my best and make it work. Promise! :)