Again, opinion divided… :D So here's Byakuya. Unfortunately, my children, this is not a Byakuya-gets-tortured fic. It is, however, a Byakuya-tortures-Renji fic. Close enough? Enjoy.
Title: Signed, Kuchiki
Pairings/Characters: RenRuki (I don't even like this pairing. Why am I writing it? I don't know), Byakuya
Dear Renji,
It has come to my attention that you desire to make advances upon my sister. Desist at once.
Signed,
Kuchiki-taichou
Dear Kuchiki-taichou,
Um…I'm sorry?
Renji
Dear Renji,
Your apology is accepted.
Signed,
Kuchiki-taichou
Dear Kuchiki-taichou
Oh good.
Renji
Dear Renji,
And if you do not immediately cease all communication with Rukia, I shall be forced to take…steps.
Signed,
Kuchiki-taichou
Dear Kuchiki-taichou,
But…but she's my best friend! I can't just STOP talking to her!
Renji
PS. What kind of…steps?
Dear Renji,
Drastic steps. Need I be more specific, fukutaichou?
Signed,
Kuchiki-taichou
Dear Kuchiki-taichou,
…Desisting as we speak, sir.
Renji
Oh, you poor Renji you. Next time: Zaraki or Gin-and-Aizen?
Also, a large number of people requested Zaraki-and-Byakuya, so one is in the works.
A special note to smart. deedee...you are awesome. :D And good idea, I'll definitely use that one.
Finally, I'm running out of salutations! Here are the ones I already have: signed, yours, ttyl, sincerely, respectfully, love, dejectedly, cordially, contritely, warmly, and always. Suggestions?