Chapter 6

I used to live for my dreams. For the past few weeks it seemed that was the only time I had to spend with Edward... But seeing him again was the perfect antidote for my aching heart. And now, I felt hope. We went to the same school, so I wouldn't be desperate for sleep to overcome my brain, now I was only desperate to be awake, to see him again, to hold him in my arms again.

School the next day after meeting the Cullens was both good and bad. It was good because Edward was back at school, but it was also bad for the same reason.

When I saw a silver Volvo in my driveway the next morning before school. I skipped over to the car to see the Volvo full. I slid into the back next to Alice. No one talked on the way there, but that was fine with me. Edward was driving, Emmett was in the passenger seat, which left Alice and I in the back. When we got to school, Edward hopped out of the car immediately after taking the key out of the ignition, and ran over to a group of pretty dumb-looking guys. He's probably just excited to see them after the long summer, I told myself in my head. My heart felt kind of strained though with the separation between us. He hadn't even said "good morning" to me...

Lunch wasn't as fun as it had been yesterday, but it was still pretty entertaining. Emmett kept the party rolling while he picked unceasingly on Jasper for some girl that was wearing too-short shorts and a too-tight cami who came up to him during their gym class, asking him to go to dinner later tonight. Jasper of course said no because he doesn't need or want anyone other than Alice (which caused Alice to squeal and peck her boyfriend on his nose), but the girl evidentially wouldn't give up with Jasper. She progressed to bend over in front of him, trying to force Jasper into seeing what exactly he was missing.

"And then, right as she was bending over trying to show off her tail-end, her shorts ripped! Yeah! They ripped open in the crotch!" Emmett was booming with laughter. "And her underwear! They were Disney Princess panties!" Emmett was literally crying from laughing so hard. Everyone else joined in, except for Jasper.

Emmett made kissy noises at Jasper and batted his eyelashes at him. We were all banging our fists on the table.

Even Rosalie helped to add to the positive tallies for the days. She gave me a semi-uncomfortable smile, but it was a start. I wasn't expecting to be her friend right after she confessed how she was really feeling about me. But at least she wasn't glaring daggers at me anymore.

Edward was no where to be seen during all of this, but I knew it was only a matter of time until I saw him in biology. I was jumping up and down in anticipation, glancing at the clock every few minutes. Hurry up! The bell finally rang.

I was the first one in the classroom because I was so excited to see him again. I hopped into my seat and fidgeted in my seat while I waited impatiently for Adonis himself to walk through the door.

He walked into the room right before the bell rang that signaled the beginning of class. He sunk mortifyingly slowly into the seat next to me, but didn't say anything, or look at me, or even acknowledge I was sitting next to him.

That annoying girl, Lauren, was in this class too. Great. Why hadn't I seen her yesterday? Oh, I was wallowing in my misery from the reminder of Edward. She was turned around away from the front of the room and the teacher and was looking straight at Edward.

Edward looked at her and smiled. What? No! Edward did not just smile at her! Get a grip. Get a grip. He's just being nice, right?

I focused on the teacher and his lecture, taking my notes and writing down everything the teacher mumbled, no matter how important it was. I pressed down really hard though, I was still distracted by Edward and Lauren's exchange. They had started texting each other now, too. I knew they were texting each other, and not someone else because whenever he sent something, she would cackle and turn to look at Edward, who would smile back. I'm sure a frown was plastered into my face, but I was so numb, I couldn't feel it.

I'm just overreacting, right? They are probably talking about their summers or something. When I saw from my peripheral vision, Edward was opening his phone to look at the new text message, and I glanced down to read it over his shoulder. I know it was wrong to snoop at his private conversations, but I was going crazy over here!

So you want to come over later tonight? My parents won't be home, and we could test out the new hot tub... ;) I almost gagged when I read that. Edward wouldn't fall for that.

The next four letters sent knives into my heart. Sure. Why Edward? Why are you torturing me?

I think Edward felt my gaze, and he looked up to me. His face was calm, but his eyes deceived him by looking guilty. They were quickly blocked off when mine began to dew up with water. I turned my gaze back to my notes, and prayed the bell would ring soon.

Edward turned back to his phone to continue texting. I wasn't interested in seeing what else Lauren and he were planning to do tonight. I can't believe I fell in love with a two-timing slimy prick! My first love has to break my heart. My first love has to drag my body over a sea of knives and razors, and then after my body has been torn and cut in every possible place, he stomps my corpse into the dirt and mud.

Saved by the Bell. The bell rang shrilly throughout the classroom, and I gathered my books before I turned to run out of the classroom into my next class; away from this one, away from the pain, away from my life, away from Edward. My clumsiness took its toll. I tripped over one of my shoelaces, and slammed into the floor. Damn! I tried to pick myself up, but a pair of hands helped me to my feet.

I looked up to see a very tall boy, almost as tall as Emmett, but very close muscle-wise had helped me to my feet. He had dark tanned skin, and a broad smile across his lips. His eyes were black, and gave away no emotion; they were empty. I was surprised to see the wide smile had no effect on them. It must just be because they are so dark.

"Are you alright?" He asked in a very deep and rough voice. I glanced over my shoulder to see Edward staring at the two of us with a very angry look on his face. I smiled bitterly at him before turning back to the boy. Two can play at this game.

"I am now." I fluttered my eyelashes at him, and smiled widely. He seemed to take this as an invitation to keep talking to me, which was what I was hoping for him to do.

"I'm Jacob," he held out his hand for me, and I shook it. "Jacob Black."

My eyes widened, and I smiled at him brighter. "I'm Bella... Your dad isn't Billy Black is it? He lent it to me for the summer, but my dad ended up buying it from him when we decided I would live here." I realized I was babbling, but I saw Edward from the corner of my eye still glaring at us, and I kept looking at Jacob, with a grin on my face.

"Billy's my uncle, actually." Jacob was still holding my hand, and he held it in his hand firmly, pulling me out the door with him.

"Excuse me, Bella, can I talk to you for a moment, please?" Edward's voice was right behind me, it made my heart flutter, but I didn't allow my face to betray me. I kept Jacob's hand in mine while I turned to Edward.

"I'm sorry, can I help you with anything?" I said, causing Edward to stare at me with obvious pain in his eyes.

"I need to talk to you. Alone."

"Well, Jacob, I had better let you get to class. I don't want you to be late. Hey! Here's an idea! Let's trade numbers!" I swapped phones with him and quickly tapped in my number while he entered his into my phone. When we returned our phones, I gave him a quick kiss on the cheek. Boy, I'm evil. That should show Edward that I'm not going to just sit back and be used by someone.

Once Jacob was finally out the door, Edward grabbed my wrist and looked at me. Oh yeah. He was mad about the kiss alright.

"Look Bella, I don't know what the heck that was, but it sure wasn't you!" his voice had too much venom in it. My eyes began to prick. Edward noticed and softened his tone, but didn't take any of the urgency from it. "Jacob is not a good guy. Please don't do anything stupid with him, Bella. He is an idiot and a big jerk." Sounds like someone else I know. I looked at him pointedly. He looked over my shoulder and frowned. I looked too and saw Jacob standing in the door frame, waiting for me.

"Thanks for the advice... But I think I can take care of myself." And with that I turned and walked out the door, taking Jacob's hand.

It turned out, Jacob had gym the same period as me, but he was with the other coach we shared the gym with. Jacob walked me to the girls' locker room, and then turned to go to the boys' to change out.

I hated being in only my underwear around a bunch of other girls, most of whom had perfectly sculpted bodies. It made me even more self conscious. I shucked on my gym shorts and shirt and tennis shoes, then power walked away from the girls.

Jacob was waiting for me again when I walked out of the locker room, and I quickly walked to his side. We didn't say anything, and the silence wasn't awkward, but it wasn't nearly as comfortable as it had been with Edward. Sigh... Edward.

We went to our separate coaches quickly so they could take attendance and make sure everyone was dressed out into proper PE clothes, and then the classes joined together to do whatever activity they wanted. Jacob and I just walked around the gym together and talked about our lives.

Jacob was really sensitive, I discovered. He was very introverted and vulnerable, but he also didn't have a big problem voicing his opinions and putting himself out there, even at the risk of being hurt. He also had a bit of a temper, but he assured me that it wasn't a problem like it used to be. His mom died when he was younger, in a car crash, and his dad died shortly afterward. Jacob thinks it was from the heart break. So now, Jacob lives with his uncle, Billy.

Something about Jacob made me want to make him happy. I wanted to make him smile. I guessed that was what I noticed earlier. He has been hurt so much that the smile never really reaches his eyes. I will have to work on that, I promised myself.

Gym drew to a close, and I was eager to leave school. Today was overall not a good day, apart from Jacob of course. I wanted to go to my sanctuary of my bedroom, I knew tonight would be filled with saltwater stains on my pillow from my tears. I also knew my teddy bear was unfortunately going to get a lot of punches thrown at him... It really did help me relieve stress, to pound my teddy, but I always hated how torn up it looked later on. The old thing was already missing one of the buttons for its eye and it had been re-sewn so many times from the stuffing coming out, it looked like it was manufactured to look like that. You couldn't travel even an inch in any direction without seeing a stitch or a patch. But I loved my teddy to no end... I smiled at how easily distracted I was, then came back to reality.

I waved to Jacob quickly, then walked inside to slip back into my jeans and T-Shirt. When I finished, I left the room to see Jacob waiting for me again. I smiled to him and waited for the bell to ring that would allow us to escape Forks High School for the rest of the day. Ding! Finally.

We began walking slowly toward the parking lot. I wasn't really very interested in talking to Jacob anymore, I actually just wanted to go home, but I didn't want to be rude in the process, so I just kept pace with him. When we were closing up the distance to the Volvo, I saw Edward and Lauren walking next to each other at the same time Edward saw me walking with Jacob. I turned back to Jacob to pretend like I was listening to whatever he was talking about, when really all I was doing underneath the fake smile was trying desperately hard to hold back my tears. Edward was my everything this summer, and now all he does is act like we never shared anything together. He still had my heart, but it seems that he's already moved on... Was that kiss last night just my imagination? If it wasn't, which Edward is the real one? Will the real Edward Cullen please stand up? What does Lauren have that I don't have? She's pretty, I guess. Prettier than me at least. I'm just plain old Bella. She wears too much make up. Maybe Edward likes when girls wear make up? Her clothes are too revealing. Is Edward just looking for a hookup? Not an actual relationship? Does Edward know that I do want a relationship? Is that why he is ignoring me? So I won't get hurt? Maybe he still wants to be friends, but nothing more. I'd rather that than just be ignored...

So many questions were pooling in my head as I pretended to watch and listen to Jacob. So many thoughts bubbling into my brain. All of them were Edward.

I tried to focus on Jacob again. Jacob's eyes aren't warm and loving like Edward's were. Jacob has a wide nose and his nose bridge curves. Edward's nose is straight. Jacob has really full lips. Edward's were a little thinner. Jacob and Edward both have long eyelashes. Jacob's hair looks a little greasy. Edward's hair always looks freshly washed. And Edward's scent....

"So what do you think?" Jacob turned to me. I snapped out of my reverie and blinked. What was he talking about? What did I think?

"I'm sorry, what? My brain just froze up for a little there..." I felt like an idiot.

"I just asked if you wanted to go on a date with me this Saturday. I can pick you up and we can go have some fun." He winked at me. I could tell from my peripheries that Edward had heard Jacob's question: The dead giveaway was when Edward stood ramrod straight. He didn't like Jacob. I remembered that.

"I would love to go out with you tonight, Jacob." I smiled at him and took his hand. Jacob started leaning down toward me, his eyes beginning to close.

I had to think quickly. Usually, I would never kiss someone so soon, especially in front of so many people... But I didn't want to be the only one getting hurt. I wanted to hurt Edward, even if only a little by kissing a man he hated. Jacob was a foot taller than me; I closed the distance between us by standing on my tiptoes. I pressed my lips into his.

Jacob's lips were warm and chapped, nothing like Edward's silky smooth ones; I couldn't help but make the comparisons. Jacob was also not gentle with me at all. His fingers were groping my neck, and then he began to let them ease their way down until settling into my back pockets. Woah, there. Jacob pressed himself closer to me and leaned us into a car we were standing next to. He forced my lips open with his and his tongue was almost violent against mine. Too much. Too much.

I pulled away from him. My face was redder than an apple. Edward was staring at me open mouthed. At least I achieved my goal, I thought to myself glumly. Alice and Rosalie were staring at me, too, a few paces behind Edward. Neither looked very happy with me.

I grimaced in their direction, and turned back to Jacob. I gave him a quick hug, then slipped toward the Volvo and waited for Edward to unlock the door. I glared at my reflection in the window. What had I just done? I want to get Edward back! Not push him further away! I was cursing myself endlessly in my head, then Alice and Rosalie appeared beside my reflection. Watching me.

"What the hell was that Bella?!" Alice whispered in a tone that obviously would have been a scream if it weren't for the people surrounding us right now.

"I don't know," I said to my feet. "I thought I was just going to make Edward jealous, because that's what he's been doing all day to me... And I just thought... Maybe he deserved a taste of his own medicine... And I don't know what came over me. But I hate myself. And now Edward hates me..." I felt the tears beginning to well up. "Jacob asked me to go on a date with him this Saturday, and I said yes... I want to be his friend, but I love Edward. And obviously, he doesn't love me. This whole summer was a stupid lie. I'm so stupid. Stupid," I banged my wall against the glass of the window. "Stupid. Stupid. Stupid!" That last one really hurt. I rubbed my head and looked up to Alice and Rosalie. Both were staring at me incredulously.

"Edward is an idiot." Rosalie said. It wasn't an encouraging gesture, it was statement of fact for her.

Edward finally arrived to the car, looked straight past me (which I was secretly grateful for, I didn't want him to see me being an idiot over him) and slid into the drivers seat gracefully. I followed his lead and sat right behind his seat, and kept my face tilted toward the ground.

Edward was scowling out the windshield.

EPOV

Bella. The woman I loved. The only woman I loved was going on a date with the jackass Jacob. Huh. That's actually a good nickname. Jackass Jacob. Emmett would enjoy that one.

It wasn't a secret here in Forks High School that Jacob was only after one thing when it came to girls, and he wasn't very ashamed when he bluntly asked for it. All it took was a little bit of time and manipulation and then boom. He gets whatever he wants from girls. And he was planning on manipulating my Bella. My Bella.

Sure, I had seen the look of betrayal in her wide doe eyes in biology today when she saw the text message about my plans with Lauren later. But I wasn't actually planning on doing anything with Lauren. Lauren is a slut. And I don't go for girls like that. The only reason I'm even bothering with going tonight is so Lauren wouldn't cry and make a scene like she did last time...

* * * * *

I was a sophomore and there were only a few more weeks left until summertime. Freedom for the summer. I would be spending my summer in a beach house down at La Push with my parents. This summer will ROCK!

"Oh Eddie-poo!" A sickly sweet voice drifted to my ears and broke through my excitement. Only one person would be that eager to talk to me and use that annoying voice to get my attention. I rolled my eyes and turned to see Lauren Mallory standing in front of me, leaning against my desk.

She was obviously trying to expose her breasts to me in the process. She squealed when she discovered her bra cup size had gone from an A to a B, and she had bought many push-up bras to accentuate her "blossoming" into a woman. I stifled a laugh as she leaned her chest closer to my face, trying to tempt me to look.

Luckily for her, even at my age, I knew how to be a gentleman. I wouldn't look even if her body were more tempting. I kept eye contact and replied icily, "What can I help you with, Lauren?"

When I said her name, her breathing increased and she began batting her eyelashes at me, which was really not very attractive to me at all. I gagged inside my head.

"I want you to hang out with me today." Not a request. A demand. "There will be this wild party later tonight, and I want you to be my date." I had heard about this party. Every Friday night, someone would throw a wild party full of alcohol and stupid drinking games. I wasn't a big drinker, and the thought of going with Lauren made me scrunch my nose in disgust.

"No. I don't want to go, thanks." I said as politely as possible.

Lauren's eyes started to water and her face got more and more red. "WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO GO WITH ME? ARE YOU AFRAID OF ME?! ARE YOU AFRAID OF HOW PERFECT WE COULD BE TOGETHER?" she continued hurling accusations at me, and by the end of her rant, I felt extremely guilty, I had to escape before she could guilt me into agreeing to go with her. God knows what she will try to pull when she's intoxicated...

* * * * *

So here I sit. I have a "date" with Lauren tonight and Bella has a date with Jacob this Saturday. I can't ask her out myself, my friends would send me into a spiraling doom if I let them know who I really am. They all think I'm athletic and just as uninteresting as they are. I can't let anyone know who I really am. Only Bella can know. I will make her mine officially some day, please just don't let me be too late.

Please, God. Let her date with Jacob suck! I pulled out of my parking spot when everyone was settled inside, and I drove to Bella's house to get her out of my car before I could really break down. I had to put up a charade for Lauren for just an hour. Maybe less if I fake sick or something. I wasn't planning on staying there long anyway... Then, when I get home, I can go back to my room and back to locking the world out forever.

Why, Bella? Why?

DUN DUN DUNNNNNNNN.

What do you guys think of the story so far? Did I strikeout or get a homerun for this chapter?! Please! Feedback! I have a few people that are subscribing--which I am SO grateful for--but I have only a few reviews! Which is why I'm not updating the story until I have 5 reviews for this chapter alone! Evil, right? Maybe... But I need some reviews! *does Alice puppy-dog face* ....Please...? :(

I love you guys who are reading my story so far, hope you are enjoying it! I will update soon, though... Also, feel free to PM me or anything if you have ideas for me. Because I may have my general plot down, but I don't really have funny or quirky little things to add to my story. I wish there were three catagories.... It would be Romance/ Hurt/Comfort/ & Humor.... I want a funny story! Because for real--Comedy makes everyone feel happy!

I'm rambling now, aren't I. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE (Let me, let me, let me.... Let me get what I want... This time. hahaha. the smiths....) REVIEW NOW. DON'T MAKE ME BEG-- PLEASE PLEASE REVIEW! I'M ON MY KNEES BEGGING! Haha. Norman on American Idol... *silence* Oh.... I guess I'm just a loser then.... =P

Well, since I'm here... I might as well tell you I am basing my story off of some more songs soon... Artists like Jump Little Children, Muse, Anthony Green, Owl City, Nickasaur, The Used, and Train. So, good bands right? Of course! :)

I'm not gonna lie, I'm excited...