March 31 2003
Dear Diary:
Not
only am I pretty, talented and intelligent, but I also possess a
graceful sense of humor. Like, last night while I was writing on mah
death note, I decided to make a few of the criminals die creatively.
This guy that used to crap in private properties was caught two days
ago and I found out last night, so Ironically enough I wrote in my
death note that the man would crap himself to death. I believe I
invented a new illness since the symptoms I wrote on my death note
have never been heard of. Let me see if I recall properly:
Victim soils himself/herself to death over a period of 24 hrs or less.
Excrement is pink with pastel purple shades.
The temperature of the excrement is slightly over 150 degrees Celsius.
Poop comes out of the victim's anus at an approximate velocity of 200 miles per hr.
I call this illness the pink panther. LOL.
April 5 2003
Dear diary:
I am
pissed off and excited at the same time. You see, I knew that in the
back of my head I wanted a detective to chase me and try to get me
into jail in order to make my PWNAGE of the world much more
interesting, but I only wanted this deep in the back of my head !
Kind of like when kindergartners want their little classmates to die
because one of them stole their crayons! You want it, but you don't
really mean it! WTF?? CURSE MY AWESOME LUCK THAT MAKES ME GET
ANYTHING I WANT TO!
Wait… I take that back...Mmm… I wish that
at one point of our sexy battle of the wits we are handcuffed
together! That way I can have more fangirls!
Ruyk says I'm
greedy. Just because I want power, money, women, everything the
world's got to offer
and absolute power is topping the list…
damn… Ruyk and I have watched too much Fullmetal alchemist; maybe
because Ryuk Idolizes greed's sense of fashion. As for me, my
favorite character is Dante! She is so right! The world IS filled
with people full of crap and only a few skilled individuals should
have the power to control the masses and keep them in place.
Oops,
lost my original train of thought, where was I? Ah yes. L, as the
detective calls himself, dared me to a mind battle by provoking me on
what I at first thought to be an international television broadcast
that later turned out to be a local broadcast. In the broadcast a
very well dressed man calling himself L, Dared me to kill him with my
powers. He called me evil and since I am NOT evil, I killed him.
Mwahahaha. Turns out the dude was not the real L, only a decoy and in
killing him I unfortunately not only revealed that I am in the Canto
area of Japan but that I am able to kill without making physical
contact…fuck. That's ok, I'll just have to hack into my dad's
computer and steal some police files. If I work from inside, no one
will be able to cut off my number of victims, not to mention I could
do other fun stuff too.