All characters mentioned from the Bloody Roar series are copyright their respective owners. The play Antigone is by Sophocles and I take no credit for any lines from it presented here. P.S. If you haven't seen Antigone, GO SEE IT! Ganesha's joke belongs to Gabriel Iglesias, the loveable fluffy comedian.

All night the only thing I could think about was every scary movie I had ever seen; every horror movie where someone got chopped up onscreen; every character I'd seen ripped to shreds by zombies, and how none of those scenes could be worse than whatever Jane would have done to me if Uriko didn't have such amazing timing. Jane's stare was emblazoned into my memory even as I woke up the next morning, realizing I was twenty minutes from being late for school.

I sprang from my bed near the top of the hour,

Eating my breakfast while taking a shower.

Like a flash I got to class on time

And realized I left my backpack behind.

Today in particular was the wrong day to do so, as I had forgotten my English book and today the class was reading Antigone, which meant that I would have to hear yet another classic work read by a group consisting mostly of vacant pop culture leeches who couldn't pronounce "Sophocles" to save their lives. The second I heard the girl reading for Antigone say, "What hat? Not Crayon de-stained our brothers", I knew this would be a long class. I was reading for the part of the Guard from Alex's book and Uriko, by virtue of most of the class being too sleepy to read, volunteered for the part of Creon. We were at the part where I had to come in and Uriko, who had until this point been reading just as half-assed as everybody else, looked up at me and winked before my cue. What was she going to pull?

"My liege," I began less than enthused, "I will not say that I come breathless from speed, or that have plied a nimble foot; for often did my thoughts make me pause, and wheel round in my path, to return." The whole time I read my lines I had one eye on Uriko, who was grinning evilly.

"And what is it that disquiets thee thus?" Uriko said as she leaned forward in her desk slightly.

"Well, this is it.-The corpse-some one hath just given it burial, and gone away,-after sprinkling thirsty dust on the flesh, with such other rites as piety enjoins."

At this point, Uriko stood from her desk. "What sayest thou? What living man hath dared this deed?"

She's getting into it. "I know not; no stroke of pickaxe was seen there, no earth thrown up by mattock; the ground was hard and dry, unbroken, without track of wheels; the doer was one who had left no trace. And when the first day-watchman showed it to us, sore wonder fell on all. The dead man was veiled from us; not shut within a tomb, but lightly strewn with dust, as by the hand of one who shunned a curse. And no sign met the eye as though any beast of prey or any dog had come nigh to him, or torn him." Uriko was now slowly walking over to my desk with her book in hand, glaring at me coldly, even though when Uriko glares it's more so funny than threatening. "At last, when all our searching was fruitless, one spake, who made us all bend our faces on the earth in fear; for we saw not how we could gainsay him, or escape mischance if we obeyed. His counsel was that this deed must be reported to thee, and not hidden. And this seemed best; and the lot doomed my hapless self to win this prize. So here I stand,-as unwelcome as unwilling, well I wot; for no man delights in the bearer of bad news."

There was a short pause as the guy reading for the Senate leader had dozed off. Not bothering to let him read his line, Uriko was now standing right next to me and leaned down toward me as she spoke. "Cease, ere thy words fill me utterly with wrath," She said in a harsh tone, "Lest thou be found at once an old man and foolish. For thou sayest what is not to be borne, in saying that the gods have care for this corpse."

Oh, she's REALLY getting into it. Well, two can play at this game. I stood and backed away from her slightly. "The doer vexes thy mind, but I, thine ears."

"Ah, thou art a born babbler, 'tis well seen."

"May be, but never the doer of this deed."

"Yea, and more,-the seller of thy life for silver."

I exclaimed, "Alas! 'Tis sad, truly, that he who judges should misjudge."

Uriko got right in my face and said, through clinched teeth, "Let thy fancy play with 'judgment' as it will;-but, if ye show me not the doers of these things, ye shall avow that dastardly gains work sorrows."

She then went back to her seat as one of the few students who was awake yelled, "DRAMA QUEEN!"

I didn't see Uriko again until lunch, and it was just as well. Her stunt in English was more than enough action for my entire day, let alone one class.

Alex held a table in the back corner of the lunch area, securing a few chairs with his legs and his bookbag.

"So you're finally saving me a seat now?" I asked as he removed his bookbag.

"Yeah," He answered, "I was getting tired of hearing you whine about not having a seat."

"Shut up," I muttered as I slapped my sack lunch on the table. Through a distant window the glare of a car pulling into the parking lot glimmered, causing me to jump in my seat and jerk my head towards it. For just a split second, I thought it was her.

"Paranoid much?" Alex joked, poking at what appeared to be green beans.

"When Jane, or Shina, or whatever you call her gives you a death glare, yes."

"Death glare? What ever for, Shina fan number one?"

I was hesitant to tell Alex because I knew he would have enough jokes for the next five years from it. Just then, Uriko and Kenji arrived with their trays.

"Thanks, Alex!" Uriko beamed as Alex removed his legs from the chairs.

"Hey you two," I mumbled.

Uriko gave me a concerned look. "Wow, Scott, you look terrible. Did Jane really get to you that much?"

Oh crap, she's going to tell them isn't she?

"I mean," she continued, "what's the big deal? So the two of you were locked in the basement for awhile. Big whoop!"

Alex spat out whatever he was attempting to eat, as did Kenji.

"You were what!?" Alex exclaimed, his face somewhere between surprise and laughter.

"You were where with who!?" Kenji was just surprised, thankfully.

"Oh yeah." Uriko grinned mischievously. "They were locked in Alice's basement for an hour or so. Who knows what they were up to down there!"

And the floodgates opened. Alex burst into uncontrollable laughter, drowning out my yelps that nothing happened except my near-death experience. Kenji's brain seemed to have gone on vacation, as he hadn't moved from his wide-eyed stare in some time.

"Wait, you were there! How did you not-"

"I left early to finish my Physics project!" Alex cut me off, able to speak amazingly well through his laughs.

I will never live this down.

I wasted no time driving home after school finished. The recent wave of unseasonable warmth made the roads much easier to drive on, which meant I could spend an extra two minutes debating whether or not to see a shrink.

I left my bookbag at the front door, walked into the family room, and flopped onto the couch, grabbing the nearby remote and flipping on the TV. It was on some random news channel that my parents find interesting (somehow). Just as I was about to change the channel, though, I read the banner across the bottom of the screen:

NEW GUBERNATORIAL NOMINEE

The news, however, was not as stunning to me as the person it was attached to. Standing at a podium in a suit and tie was none other than Xion in all his pale, soulless glory. With the flick of a remote I immediately changed the channel, only to be greeted by Ganesha doing stand-up.

"Trust me ladies, when I go to a dance club I can tear it up hardcore!" He said, "That's right, for a good thirty seconds!"

I would have changed the channel again had I not feared coming across something worse, like Uranus in a sailor outfit singing classic opera while doing the Charleston.