Disclaimer:
I do not own Gravitation. I do however own the poem. Still it, don't
be surprised to wake up tomorrow with your head sewn into the
carpet.
Chapter title: Kickin' the habit
Genre: angst
Rating:
PG-15ish
Chapter: 10/16
Characters: Tatsuha and Suguru
xD
Summery: Tatsuha likes doing drugs, but will it cost him the
life of Suguru?
Warnings: AU piece. Drug use. A lil' OOC
Yes this is a story
Of
how I kicked the habit of drugs
Yes
they all told me many things,
About
my corpse 6 feet down eaten by bugs
I'm so scared, so afraid and so alone. But who isn't when they're sitting in the hospital waiting room, desperate for news?
It was a simple high school party. Nothing big just some friends getting together for one last get together before we all went and did our summer things.
But then someone bad showed up. Someone with the intention of screwing up our minds. Someone with a bag of cocaine.
Yah so I liked to get a little high
No
big deal
Hell
I smoked things that made me fly
Even
if it would make me die
I
didn't care, I didn't listen
Yah
I really just wanted
A
little vacation
It was just cocaine, no big deal. We all had a little hit, no harm done. We only got a little high, just looking for a trip. But what teenager isn't? It was just a hit...just a little bit...nothing huge.
But Suguru...Suguru has never done drugs before. My boyfriend has been corrupted in many ways since dating me, but still wouldn't take a smoke or a sniff. He said it was wrong, he said it would make him sick, make him very ill; he was allergic.
But of course we all laughed and called him a wussy, to high to care. And yet still, he refused politely and just sat there as I took my next puff.
Now my baby didn't mind most of the time
But
didn't join in
Even
though I told her the greatness of walkin' that line
But
she said no
But this party was different, very different. We were all having a great time, and for one moment, I turned my back on him to grab my share of the powder. I'd always been there with him at parties, because he was always a little nervous and scared around some of my pals, but I thought that he'd be fine for one moment.
Oh how wrong I was...
As soon as I turned my back my extremely doped "friends" got to him, pushing, pestering, persisting he take a hit. Take a little sniff and he would be cool, would be in. He'd always been the object of bullying, a push over of sorts, but still he refused, didn't want to mess with something illegal.
Oh makes me feels so fine
Feels
so fine
Feels
so fine
But
now pickin out her grave
No
I'm not lie'n
But from what I was told, he wasn't given a choice. They got physical with him, slapping him around, calling him names. They said Suguru called out for my help, but I wasn't listening, I was to busy getting high.
So he did the only thing he could do, give in. It was just a little cocaine they told me, they didn't mean too...they didn't mean to send him here...
One day when I was pretty damn baked
I
was laughin' and my friends were pushin'
And
she was yellin stop for god sake
Yah
I just took my turn, took my turn
Apparently a little cocaine was enough to cause a reaction in Suguru. He wasn't making excuses when he said he was allergic, wasn't lying when he said only a little could kill him.
One of the teens who wasn't as drugged up as the rest of us called the ambulance, in which case everyone fled in fear of being caught. But I didn't. I couldn't even move when I saw Suguru lying on the floor. I couldn't breath, or speak. Something in my mind clicked, telling me this wasn't going to be okay, nothing was going to be the same.
I remember jumping in the ambulance with him, holding his hand that seemed too cold, too lifeless so be his. And that lead me to where I am now. Tired, scared and alone in the hospital waiting room, praying to god for news.
But then my baby's heart stopped
So
I opened up to have a look
But
nope not a beat
Nope
not a beat
And the sirens were a spinin'
As
the gang broke into a run
Hey
that's when I knew this wasn't fun
The doctors asked me and I told them everything. I told them about the party and the drugs. I told them knowing fully well I was going to probably end up in jail. But I assured them Suguru was forced to take it, it wasn't his fault. They didn't seem to believe me.
They were unable to get a hold of either of our parents, his being out of town and mine being asleep. Which I was grateful for, for this was a moment I don't think my mind could take any lecturing.
I watched as two doctors draped in their white coats talked quietly in front of Suguru's door. I could still hear them. However I really wished I hadn't.
"I don't think the kid will last the night."
Oh makes me feels so fine
Feels
so fine
Feels
so fine
But
now my high is die'n
And
I just hit the ground
Hey,
wait, wasn't I just flyi'n?
Despite the fact the doctor was a professional and had spent many years in schools, I didn't believe his theory. I don't care how smart he thinks he is Suguru won't die, he just can't...he just can't...
And still I'm so scared. Still I'm pushing my hands hard against my eyes to push back tears that I know are falling anyway. Still I fully understand the fact I may lose something very important.
The doctor who predicted my boyfriend's fate noticed me sitting in the chair and calmly came over to the door that connects the patients' rooms to the waiting room, and closed it.
For hours I sat out there, waiting for news. Every time that door opened, my head shot up and a feeling of nausea swept over me in fear of the person being a barer of bad news.
But no one came to me; I went for so long not knowing anything, nothing at all.
What if he really died? Oh please whatever god that cares to listen; please don't let him die...please...
So her heart that stopped beating
Pointed
and laughed in my face
Yah
the throb called me a disgrace
But really it was true
I
knew I had to stop soon
And another rack of sobs courses through my body and I can hardly keep myself silent. I can't seem to control myself anymore.
At around one in the morning, the door opened yet another time and in walked two men. One a police man and another man much taller, dressed in a suit. The two middle aged, chubby men made their way over to me in the empty room and sat in chairs across from mine.
"Uesagi-san, my name is detective Scott Robertson and this is police officer Aaron Smith (1), we have a couple questions concerning this situation to ask you." Said the man in the suit as though he had said that line over a million times.
I nodded in acknowledgment and wiped my tears, folding my hands in my lap.
But I still was high
Still
was high
Waiting
for her to revive
But
now it was gods turn to spit in my face
So
I kicked him which made me the basket case
And
man oh man was god pissed
So
he took her soul, didn't allow me a goodnight kiss
"Now son, I'm sure you understand how much trouble you're in, you and your friend. But if you are able to provide us with the persons who brought the drugs to the party, and a list of those involved with the drugs and the host of the party, we can arrange a deal so that both your slates are clean."
Oh yes, the tough part. Ratting out on my friends was never going to sit well in my stomach from here on out. But honestly, anything that would help out with Suguru I would gladly do.
So I gave them everything they wanted, I also retold for the billionth time that Suguru was forced into participating in the drugs. After taking many notes, digging deep into the story, and re-asking questions to make sure I had a straight story, they nodded and gave me their cards, telling me they would need to talk to me again in the future.
And yet when I asked them for news on Suguru's condition they shook their heads and left, leaving me to more tears and agony.
Oh makes me feels so fine
Feels
so fine
Feels
so fine
Wonder
which color she wants her casket to be
I
like the red wine
Finally, another doctor entered and motioned for me to come towards him.
"Fujisaki-san is requesting your presence. Later I shall discuss with you his release, he can go home tonight on a few conditions."
At that moment I felt almost stunned...was this guy fucking with me? But obviously not, for he led me out of the waiting room and to Suguru's room.
There he was...smiling at me weakly. I hugged him tightly, never wanting to let go.
Yeah this stuff makes me feels so fine
Feels
so fine
But
it's this good stuff I should have declined
"Tatsuha?" he whispered as I pulled back from him, holding tightly on his hand.
"Yes Suguru?" He sat up slowly, gazing at me with weary eyes.
"Please Tatsuha...promise me you'll quit? I don't want to lose you..." I don't think I've ever received a weirder question in my entire life. Here he was, the one who was ill from the drugs, not I, the one in the hospital bed, not me, and he was saying he didn't want to lose me?
"Suguru this isn't about me...it's about you...I'm so sorry I turned my back for one minute, I-" He looked at me with an angry, yet desperate glare, squeezing my hand tighter.
"Damn it Tatsuha! The only reason I am here is because you wanted the drugs so you left me alone with your "pals" to get them! If you really want to keep better care of me then here's a plan, drop all the drugs or I'm never going to be with you again! Understand?"
So bye-bye my baby
And
bye-bye high
I'm
not getting high anymore
For
now my favorite drug
Is
6 feet close to the core
His voice was cracking despite the power his words held. Knowing him, it was a decision he would make, for in his mind it was for the better. He knew that my guilt would be enough to stop me, but adding on the threat of leaving me made me cave in.
"Okay...I understand...I quit." He smiled at me, worming his arms around my waist for a hug.
Being scared shitless is a one step program; you don't need rehab or therapy or any of that when you spend one night thinking you may never see the person you love again.
So that's why I quit drugs.
Yah makes me feels so fine
Feels
so fine
Feels
so fine
But
my baby's dead heart begged me to stop
But
I just couldn't bring myself to let it go
So I made my heart skip a beat
Now
I'm sittin' on the devil's seat
End Chapter
(1)Don't tell me you expect me to know Japanese names extremely well, American will do.
Wasn't that the weirdest poem ever? Oh well, I'm still proud of it
R.I.P. James and Braden. If only someone would have pulled their head out of their ass sooner you might still be here.