A/N: I'm trying to make the characters into objects based on 2 things. I've tried to match personalities. The personalities and past of the actual -man characters to objects and to the personalities of people like Lumière, Cogsworth and co in the movie to what I made them. Have I succeeded? Pray tell. There is just one that has nothing to do with either. Leverrier. I hate that man, in my head I call him the cockroach man. Need I say anymore? I put the translations next to the words because I can't stand having to reference the end of a story. Please review otherwise I have to create people in my head to tell me what they think of the story and when I talk to myself people get the funny idea that I'm insane. (Can you believe it?)

Disclaimer: ok today we are going to have an exercise in common sense, the author of -man is currently on Hiatus, I quite obviously am writing. You do the maths. Beauty and the Beast came out in the year I was born, you can either think I was a really amazing foetus or realise I don't own beauty and the beast.

Waking

Lenalee woke in a strange room, she was in a four poster bed with a lacy white spread and blue details. Beautiful, ornate, gold fittings decorated the room and it was well furnished to boot. An old fashioned wardrobe and a grandfather clock were what caught her attention most though she wasn't sure why. A cockroach scrambled across the floor. Instinct took over and she slid on the slippers next to the bed and stood on it, pressing down with all her weight.

"I wouldn't bother," came a voice from near the wardrobe: "we've been trying to kill him for ages. Leverrier is worse than most cockroaches, virtually impossible to kill, unfortunately."

She walked round the wardrobe peered under it then scratched her head. She couldn't seem to find the source of the voice.

"I'm talking you half wit."

She screamed and hastened backwards till her back met the grandfather clock. The wardrobe could talk! It had a face and everything and it was addressing her. That was definitely not right. Then she realised that the clock was clearing its throat. Apprehensively she turned to face it.

"G-g-g-good morning, Kanda-san wanted to talk to you when you woke up."

"Who the heck is Kanda? What am I doing here? Scratch that, where is here. Where's my brother?"

It seemed that was not the best idea, the clock promptly had a nervous breakdown.

"I have upset you, I am so sorry; I am useless, I am so sorry."

"What Miranda is trying to tell you is that you are in the 14th's palace. We, the inhabitants, are cursed and exist outside of time, Kanda is half the reason we are like this is in the centre of a forest. Your brother is where ever Kanda left him."

Lenalee's resolve returned and she stormed towards the door.

"Where exactly do you think you're going" demanded a voice on ground level.

"Do us all a favour and throw him out the window." The wardrobe said.

Lenalee obliged, pests were not on her list of favourite things and ones that were not just bugs but annoying too were pretty high on her list of things she hated most.

"Where ar-are y-y-y-you going L-l-l-lenalee- chan?" the clock asked between sobs.

"I'm going to march up to that stuck up prick of yours and give him a piece of my mind. How dare he kidnap me and hurt Kumoi?!"

"Very brave, do you have a death wish by any chance?"

She humphed and closed her hand round the door knob, intent on ignoring them.

"D-don't you think Lulubell- san should get you a dress first?"

She looked down at herself, her nightie wasn't the most terrifying garment on god's earth though if her cheeks were as red as they felt she could make herself look pretty angry.

xxx

Kanda rubbed his neck and glared at his house mates, they seemed to find his predicament hilarious. He'd been shot with a dart from a blow gun by that bastard. The paralysing solution inside it seemed was not a common concoction. While his healing ability had dealt with most of the problem it still stung a little. Next time he vowed to hit the man harder. There was a knock on the door and the girl from the previous night entered. She'd been the source of all his problems but he had been highly annoyed when that foolish older brother of hers had dared to destroy his lotuses. For one insignificant, puny, useless human he'd created more problems than should be allowed. He'd even got stupid Tyki on his case for carrying the girl like 'a sack of potatoes'. They'd spent the past half hour arguing about why Kanda hadn't carried her bride style.

"I'm sorry but which one of you gentlemen is Kanda?"

"The one on the left with the mean look on his face sweet heart"

"Baka usagi!" (Japanese stupid rabbit).

The girl seemed to be unsure of what to think about the candlestick that was doing little short of drooling. That would be just his luck, she'd be stupid too. Then her eyes locked on him and she attacked.

"You, you, you how dare you kidnap me and harm my brother."

Years of fighting kept him from being kicked but just barely, she was good, she also had a lot of force behind those kicks.

"You sir are a foul, horrible monster and I demand to be taken home immediately"

"Ne bakanda don't you think it is amazing how she understands your personality so quickly?"

"Shut up Moyashi"

"The name is Allen!"

Kanda grew tired of dodging the girl and quite simply grabbed her leg as it flew towards him and threw her into a couch. She glared at him with such utter and complete fury that he was taken aback for a moment. No that he showed it, not that he ever would. He simply moved to his quite place and glared back.

xxx

Lenalee sat up outraged and ready to have another go at the man. The look he gave her kept her in her chair. The last man in the room, the one who'd directed her to Kanda after the candelabra said to look for the mean looking one, made his way to her. He sat next her and turned her head his way. He seemed to be examining her. She jerked her chin out of his hands, still angry.

"She certainly is a beauty Kanda, quite a catch. Bit feisty you'll get on well Welcome my dear, I am Tyki Mikk. Half of the curse that binds this place was placed on me, the other half on Mr Sunshine, Kanda, the one you were fighting with earlier. The white haired gent is Allen Walker."

The white haired boy in question bowed slightly by way of greeting and the other simply made a noise that sounded like "che".

"Lenalee Lee"

"Allen lives here because his father's brother, my brother, was the one who cursed it. Your brother forfeited something when he came into the Ark. Since he tried to take that which means the most to Kanda, Kanda had to take what meant the most to him. Just one of those funny rules. It means you fall under Kanda's protection for the rest of this life, or till the curse breaks, which ever comes first."

He laughed at the look on her face when he concluded his speech. She wondered why he didn't simply call Allen Walker his nephew but then again surely his brother's brother was his brother too. Maybe it was his half brother?

"If it helps," the boy called Allen said: "Kanda isn't any happier about this than you are, would you like a tour of the ark? It'll be your home for quite some time, nothing has aged her for the past 2 centuries."

She nodded mutely, only sparing the time to shoot another glare in Kanda's direction before heading off with Allen.

xxx

15 miles away, as the crow flies, the science team was coming to. Distraught over their failure to protect Lenalee. Kumoi was trying to figure out what had gone wrong and was ready to destroy all his inventions.

"Lenalee" they sobbed.

"I have an idea for the savoir of the science team and Lenalee- chan. Its name is Komurin"

xxx

"So how many people have you met so far?"

"Err, Lulubell, Miranda and Leverier."

"Ah, I see. Don't try to squash Leverier even though he gets really annoying at times, you're just wasting your time he doesn't ever-"

"Die? Yeah I found that out. So where are we going?"

"Well the kitchen first, it's breakfast time so we'll catch a few people. Then I'll give you a tour of the rest of the Ark."

"Everyone calls this place the Ark but why, it doesn't make any sense to me isn't an ark just a chest where the Jews kept the Ten Commandments, or an oversized boat."

"Well it's actually called Noah's Ark but we just call it the Ark for short. As for the why I haven't a clue, that's what Mana always used to call it."

"Mana?"
"My dad, but he's been dead for a long time. I think he grew tired of living after my uncle died. He was very upset that he couldn't save his little brother."

"Oh I'm sorry, truly, I know what it is like to lose a parent."

They walked in silence for awhile lost in their own thoughts, through ornate halls, lit with torches and carved with marble.

"Where are we now?"

"Nearly at the kitchen, close to the South Wing I think. I'm not good with finding my way, I can get to my room or the kitchen and nowhere else really. The place is massive, just don't go into the west wing and you'll be fine."

Why is he leading me round if he tends to get lost? Out loud she simply asked:

"Why can't I go into the west wing?"
"Well it's a really big house, so you don't really need to go up there, there are so many other places to go. It's awful boring"

xxx

"Ne, Jerry, I'm hungry."

"Is that supposed to surprise me Allen? Ah who is this cute girl? Welcome my dear, I am jerry the chef, I am in charge of this kitchen, please feel free to request anything at anytime of day."

Lenalee had already decided that nothing could shock her in this topsy turvy world when a candlestick, that she vaguely remembered from when she attacked Kanda, rushed to her after shouting 'Strike!'.

" Enchante, chère mademoiselle! I am Lavi" he said as he kissed her hand. "If there is anything I can do to make your stay more comfortable please let me kno-"

He was cut off as a book entitled 'The Big Book of Panda's' rammed into him.

" Good morning mademoiselle, please allow me to introduce myself, I am Bookman and the brat who assaulted you is Junior or Lavi. Please excuse him, I will deal with him. There will never be such a lapse in behaviour again."

She giggled, amused by their antics. She wondered if there was a library somewhere. She wasn't what you would call a bookworm but she certainly enjoyed to curl up with a good book from time to time. She doubted that Bookman would be very impressed if she tried to read him. Strange as this place was and upset as she was to be separated from Kumoi part of her wondered if she wouldn't fit in here like she never had at the village. She knew people thought her odd and as crazy as her brother because she read and because she had learnt kick boxing. She knew they stared at her when she went into town, she had once asked Kumoi if he thought she was odd and he'd vehemently denied it. He'd preached to her with an overly long glove puppet round his neck, his scarf on his hand and a spanner behind his ear. Threatening to kill, mutilate and torture anybody who dared to imply such a thing. Not necessarily in that order. He hadn't really reassured her. She had, however, decided that weird was a relative term.

"I'm Lenalee Lee, it is a pleasure to meet you. Could you possibly make me some bacon, eggs, toast and coffee? S'il- vous plait?"(French: please, vous is formal for you)

"Mais oui ma chère, tu peut me tutoyer!(but yes my dear. You can address me with tu (informal/ friendly version of vous)) Allen what do you want. You'll have to wait till after we've fed Lenalee or she'll starve waiting for me to make all your food!"

"Ok. I'll have bacon, eggs, two scrambled, three fried, one boiled and one poached, tempura, toast, 17 slices, mince, 10 tomatoes, chocolat chaud, dango, the

usual amount, muesli and tea to wash it all down."

Lenalee's mouth nearly hit the floor after the amazing list of food, how could one person eat that much?! He did, quite easily. He must have started eating some ten minutes after her but he finished a bit before. The thing that truly amazed Lenalee was that even though he was eating at a merry rate of knots he had perfect table manners. Not once had he chewed with his mouth open, put his elbows on the table or burped. She quickly finished off her food and was about to wash her plate when the cook stopped her.

"Oh no my dear, the tap and sink are perfectly capable of doing it themselves, besides you're our guest! I could never allow it."

"Oh would you introduce me?"

"They're animated because they exist within the castle but they were not alive to begin with. We can't introduce them because they do not have names and personalities as you understand. They do the work they were created for nothing more." Lavi the candelabra explained. "Hey, hey, hey what are you doing moyashi?!" he demanded as Allen picked him up.

"It's Allen, besides my boots are taller than you, you can hardly call me a moyashi. We're taking Miss Lenalee on a tour but if you'd rather she couldn't see…"

"No, no. that's fine, I'm a great person to take you on this tour, I'm the bookman's apprentice so I know a lot of the history of this place and when you hear about the fourteenth, that was a scary guy, I mean do you know he- "

"Fool, do not share information that was entrusted to our noble order, it is the bookman's privilege to do such." The Panda book explained after kicking Lavi, again!

"Ow Panda! At least we can make sure Allen doesn't get them lost."

xxx

Tyki Mikk glanced out the window of his rooms to the courtyard where the girl was being shown the garden. She was quite a charming creature, she'd certainly bring some life to the place. He wondered if he'd be able to use her coming to his advantage. If Kanda would try to use her to his. He doubted that, the sword's man was far too proud. Life here was not bad, they ate well, had a bed to sleep in and a warm house but that was it. He knew his family yearned to use their limbs again and he missed his gift and his freedom. He fingered his mirror, the only window he had to the world outside. Bound for centuries, behind these walls would be hard on anyone but for someone who had once been able to choose in everything it was nigh on unbearable. All for a silly family feud, he couldn't even remember what started it.

"Tyki, Tyki, I can't see, lift me up!"

He bent over and carefully lifted the doll that had once been his niece onto the window sill. He marvelled at how the enchanter had caught the essence of everybody when he changed them. Little Rhoade the porcelain doll, eternally young and playful, but so attached to those who played with her, her family, and so fragile, breakable. Frivolous and capricious too, she'd like this new girl, want to have her as part of the nursery.

"This'll be fun Tyki, look she's with Allen-kun! Can't I go play too?"

"I'm sure you can. Do you want me to take you down?"