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I hope you enjoy this next chapter, and for those of you who want to know, this is a link to a picture that I found on the web that I think represents what I think Alice Swan looks like: .com/file_thumbview_approve/2817557/2/istockphoto_
Enjoy!
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Chapter Six
I swirled the last of my martini and watched it settle before knocking it back. I placed the glass on the bar and said, in my best imitation of a woman under the legal blood alcohol limit, "Hit me again, Tony."
He raised an eyebrow, "You sure about this Bella? This'll be your fifth."
"I've got the cash. I'll make this my last, I promise." After school that day I had skipped a staff meeting, claiming that I was ill, and arranged for Alice to go home with Frankie for a sleepover with Colin in order that I could drink myself into oblivion. Alice had plenty of clothing stored at Colin's house 'just for emergencies' already. This was definitely an emergency. I came here, to Tony's bar because his father had been a friend of mine before he handed the business over to Tony. He would understand. And he did. And I drank myself into exactly the state I wanted to be in.
I didn't remember anything of the last twenty four hours, I didn't remember Eagle Rock Reservation, I didn't remember Edward's tortured face, I didn't remember almost kissing him in the hallway…I didn't even remember my own name. And that was the way I liked it.
After I downed my third martini I still remembered, and Tony was forced to listen to me cry my heart out about my immortal soul mate that had left me twenty-seven years ago and come back exactly the same as he had been and was currently in my English class. Good thing I'd had three martinis, he was sure that I'd already been drunk and was making things up. And then I had a fourth and was starting to forget. After my fifth I was laughing so hard that I thought my spleen would break. And what was I laughing about? Tony's bar had three uneven scratches on the wood and I found them hilarious. He got up to call a taxi for me. But I made it clear that I would do it myself. I got up from my stool and tipped for a moment before righting myself with one hand on the bar counter. I flipped open my cell phone and dialed the number for the local taxi company. But I did it wrong and had to try again. On my fourth try, Tony took the phone from me and was about to dial the number himself when there was a knock on the door.
He handed me my phone and made me promise not to move. I heard a sweet little voice outside of the bar, and Tony was talking to her, "Sorry honey, as much as I'd like to have you alone with me, we're closed."
She said something. Tony responded my opening the door wider and saying, "Oh, she's still at the bar. She's a family friend, that's why I let her stay."
I was laughing at the uneven divots in the counter again when Alice's head slid into my field of view. "Hello Alice." I said. I wondered how she got here, and then I remembered: Alice could see the future! "I'll bet you had a vision."
She looked at me like I was crazy, "Yes, Bella." She told me, "of course, now come with me."
"Okay." She supported me with a shoulder and handed Tony four twenties.
"Thank you for taking care of her, Tony. You're a very lovely gentleman."
"Why thank you."
The next thing I remember, I was being helped out of a yellow sports car by Alice and then picked up by Emmett. "Hello Em." I said.
"Em? You've never called me that before."
"Okay." I was totally fine with everything they wanted me to say. I didn't care.
But then, suddenly, I did care. Emmett carried me into the house and I was laughing hysterically that someone could pick up my and my fat self. When we got inside, Emmett placed my carefully on a pale couch and covered me with an afghan, provided by Alice. I was still laughing, and a couple of Cullens came down the stairs to see who had invaded their home with drunken laughter. Rosalie turned on her heel and went right back up when she saw me. Esme looked more than a trifle shocked, Carlisle was examining me closely and looking at Alice quizzically – somehow at the same time – and Jasper was chuckling, obviously reacting to my own euphoria.
There was one person missing. "Where's Edward?" Alice looked unnerved and motioned to Jasper to go upstairs. I laughed at myself, "Stewart." I said in an undertone, but of course they could all hear me. Carlisle winced. How funny. I laughed at him.
"Edward is upstairs." Carlisle said.
"Okay." I seemed to be saying that a lot… I heard a crash from upstairs, and then raised voices.
"Let me see her!"
"Edward, she's sloshed. She can barely see straight!" I was insulted. I could see straight! I told Alice so. Alice seemed to get smaller if that was even possible.
She hissed up the stairs. "Shut up! She can hear you."
"I don't mind." I said at the same time that Edward said, "I don't care!"
"Damn, you two were made for each other." said Emmett.
"What?" I said, "Shut your face or I'll give you detention!" I started laughing again. I wouldn't ever give Emmett a detention. He was such a teddy bear. Alice cracked a smile. Emmett did not. "Oh come on big guy, I was just kidding." I threw my hands in the air. "Woo!" I shouted. I did it again, because it was so funny. I cracked up.
Emmett looked like he was going to be sick. "I sure as hell hope I did not do that when I was drunk."
I heard another crash from upstairs; it was Edward's door falling open. He was immediately by my side, "Hello Bella. Are you alright?"
"I'm great!" I said to him. "And that's Ms. Swan to you!" I started laughing again.
"What did you do to yourself?"
"I went to a bar, Edward. A lot of people do it."
"You're so drunk, though…I never thought that you'd be like this…"
Alice had a smug look on her face. "I am. This is me, Edward." The alcohol was making me lose my mind. "Now that I'm here are you going to have your way with me?"
Edward looked like he was going to retch. Alice broke into lovely little peals of laughter. "I think you should go to bed, Bella. You're not yourself."
"Yes I am! I'll always be Bella!" I tried to stamp my foot, but then realized that I was still horizontal. I sighed and fell asleep.
When I woke up, it was morning. It was three in the morning and I had a massive headache.
And I didn't remember anything from the night before, I only remembered a dream. It was a dream I'd had often before I got Alice and after the Cullens enrolled at my school. It was of the night that Edward had left me. I hoped I hadn't been talking in my sleep because it seemed that I was lying on one of the couches that belonged to them.
I tried to think back, and it all came back to me. "Oh fuck." I groaned. I heard someone laugh, "Hi Emmett."
"Hello yourself! Nice language you're using there, Ms. Swan." He exaggerated my title, trying to make me laugh at myself for cursing in front of a student. I didn't laugh. Just cursing had made my head flare with pain. I didn't want to make it worse.
"Alice looked it up online and apparently after drinking five martinis, humans are likely to have a hangover. Of course, she could have just asked me. I had so much whiskey when I was a human…" he trailed off. "Anyway, my momma had the best cure. She always reprimanded me, but it always helped me feel better. It involved several odd ingredients that were seldom found out of Appalachia, though…How about a few Advil instead?"
"Yes, thank you, that would be great."
Emmett was back in a few seconds, the perks of being a vampire: you can get a glass of water and three Advil in less than three seconds. I took the pills and stood up. My eyes had a hard time focusing. "Where's Edward?" I asked Emmett. I was finding it weird to wake up with Emmett watching me. I was surprised that it wasn't Edward. My memories threatened to overtake me, and as usual I forced them down and locked them away. I focused on memories of Alice and Jacob. The hole that had flared in my chest for a moment soon was sealed again.
Emmett registered the expression on my face and wisely said nothing. When my episode was over, I repeated the question and he told me this. "Last night, when you were asleep, you were talking quite a lot. It seemed like you were replaying a conversation from a while ago. I think Edward recognized your words and was bothered for some reason. He left hours ago and hasn't had the guts to come back."
I breathed out. What had I said? I knew that I had dreamed about the day he left me, and more vividly than usual too, but I wondered what part of the conversation I had replayed for him. I wonder if Emmett knew what the conversation was. I wondered if anyone had deduced that I had frequent nightmares about this…I wondered if anyone had deduced why. I knew. It was because I still loved him. But I knew that he didn't love me, so I had drawn up walls around my past. If I tried to remember anything from that time period of my life it was of Angela or Jessica or Jacob. It wasn't Edward.
I had long since accepted the fact that his existence in my life was over. And I had forgiven him and his family for leaving like that. It wasn't their fault that I was a weak human. I only hoped that they were having fun with his distractions, wherever they were. And that was why I had been so defensive up to this point. It was because I had already forgiven and was finally beginning to forget when he had to come back and make me remember. It felt like he and his family had come to haunt me! I hated him for it. But I also loved him. And I didn't know what to do. It was like Hell. I needed to talk to someone. That would be Jacob. I was glad that I had already reserved tickets for Alice and me to leave Montclair for a month.
Tickets! The flight to Seattle left in exactly seven hours. I had to get Alice from Frankie's in four, and stop off at home before then in order to get the luggage. It would take about an hour and twenty minutes to go home and then to Frankie's and then to Newark airport. I would have to get out of the Cullen household in three and a half hours. Had I handed in lesson plans? No, I hadn't, but I couldn't do that until 7:00am at the latest, in four hours. I'd drop the plans off on the way to the airport. I knew that I had to leave the house of the Cullen's by six. But then I realized that I didn't have a car!
Goodness. I could not believe that Alice (Cullen/Stewart) had come to get me and bring me to her house last night. She must have known that I was going to get a taxi to my own apartment. What had prompted her to do that? And how come she hadn't told anyone but Emmett and Jasper? I needed to talk to this girl.
"Emmett?" I said again, "Where's Alice?"
"Hunting with Jasper."
"Oh no!" I couldn't believe that she had brought me here even though it would cause her husband physical pain to be in the house with me. That even furthered my question, what had prompted her to collect me even though I was just a bother?
"What's wrong?"
"I'm sorry, have I bothered Jasper?"
"No, he's gotten better at being around humans. He's tried extra hard since he had you as motivation." I remembered that he had almost bitten me all those years ago. I had long since forgiven him. "I think they left because Alice didn't want to be here until you were fully awake."
The Advil hadn't kicked in yet, I was glad that Emmett was keeping his voice down. Obviously he had been the one to keep watch over me because he had had hangovers before. "Thanks for taking care of me Emmett, but I'm no longer a teenager. I'm fine. Let me wander please?"
"I don't think so."
"Excuse me?" I sat up.
"I said, I don't think so."
"I know what you said, but I don't understand why I can't move around the house."
"I don't think Edward would like it."
"So? What does that have to do with me? He has no claim over me anymore." I hoped that Emmett didn't hear how my throat choked up when I said that last sentence. But of course he did.
"Are you alright."
"I'm fine." I said, a bit more harshly than necessary.
"No you're not. You miss Edward and Alice and me. I know you do. I may act like the big tough guy, you know, but I have feelings too. I understand."
"You have no idea. Believe me." He didn't know what it felt like to have to go through what I went through. My soul mate couldn't even stand to be in the same room with me! He had Rosalie living in the same room with him! "Do you know what it was like? Do you understand at all what I went through?" He cocked his head, not sure of what to say.
"When you left, I didn't eat or sleep for weeks, I went to a psychiatrist but that didn't help. I couldn't talk to her about you, if I had, I would have been institutionalized. I didn't talk to anyone unless asked a direct question. I couldn't watch TV or listen to music without the pain threatening to overwhelm me. I couldn't think about you, because when I did, I couldn't breathe, and I certainly couldn't try to find you. I was told that you went to LA, I knew that you couldn't go there, but where would I begin to look?"
I took a breath, "I was completely catatonic for close to five months. I was forbidden to remember, but absolutely terrified to forget. When my mother came to change my scenery I almost died. I couldn't leave Forks, then how would I know if you were even real? And then I discovered that I could hear his voice when I did something reckless or stupid. Do you realize how scary it is when you realize that you are having hallucinations? I was having a constant breathing problem, Emmett. And it was only after I almost drowned that I realized that I had to start getting over him.
"And so I locked him and the rest of you away in a vault that had been sealed shut with my daughter. Alice. And then when you all came back that vault came undone and I could feel everything. All of the hurt and fear and…I came close to ending my own life back then, did you know that? You have no idea. None at all." A few tears leaked out of my eyes before I realized how stupid I was being. For all I knew, Emmett really did understand my problems. I looked up at Emmett and was going to apologize for my outburst when I realized that he wasn't looking at me. He was looking sheepishly at the door, or rather the person who had just stepped into the door. It was Edward.
