Tears of blood
Naminé sat next to Roxas' family in the waiting area outside his hospital room.
No one was talking. No one knew what to say.
Naminé twiddled her thumbs, secretly wondering if his parents were blaming her if he died. They should, this was all her fault.
Why did everything have to be her fault?
"Hey, wanna come with me to get something to drink?" Sora asked Naminé, trying to break the uncomfortable silence that had settled between them. Naminé nodded, standing up from the hard plastic chair and following behind him.
"I need to show you something," Sora began as he slid his dollar into the vending machine slot. "That is if you even want to see it. I'm not expecting with everything that's happening that you'll forgive Roxas."
She didn't say anything. She wanted to know what Sora was going to show her, because she didn't think she could wait or be patient any longer. She was sick of not knowing anything, and even though she knew everything that was happening had something to do with her, she didn't want to start placing the blame on herself.
Oh wait, she already had.
She winced as he pulled something out of his pocket. He held it out to her, waiting for her to grab it.
She didn't want to grab it, it was covered in blood.
"It was his suicide letter." Sora said, trying to clear up any confusion she might have.
She hadn't really had any.
Hesitantly, she grabbed the note, unfolding the creases so the dried blood cracked into tiny pieces and dropped onto the floor.
--
I'm sorry. I'm sorry for everything. I know no one believes me, and I don't want you to believe me. If you believe me after reading this, then you just ruined the whole point of this suicide.
So don't believe me. Don't forgive me. Hate me with everything that's left of you. I want every single time someone thinks of me, for them to cringe with disgust.
But whatever you do, know that I'm sorry.
I'm sorry for screwing with you all. I'm sorry for making you guys come across as nothing but objects.
Especially you Naminé. I love you Naminé, I really do. It was never a joke. You were never just a goal for me to reach. You were my everything. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you.
I don't think I can express in a letter how much I needed you; how much you meant to me. You were my everything.
And yes, I was jealous of my brother. I was jealous because my brother had the most amazing girl in the world, and I was willing to go to any extent it took to get you from him.
I ruined your happiness, and I'm sorry.
And then I got you, and you were just as amazing as I imagined. You were everything I wanted, even though I was the exact opposite of anything you could ever want.
I guess my friends were right, I really am a pussy. You changed me in more ways than you probably noticed, and I'm happy for that. I think I was slowly starting to become a better person.
Maybe I … scribbles covered the rest of the sentence so she was unable to read it.
I'm such a disappointment to my family. I love you Sora, Mom, Dad. I was a shitty son, a shitty brother. I was throwing away the life you guys had worked so hard to give me, and I didn't appreciate it at all.
If I were to live through this, I highly doubt that would change, but I want you to know that I still feel that way.
Sora, you forgive too easily. I wanted you to at least hate me so I could feel better about myself. Of course, being my perfect brother, you had to forgive me.
I'm sorry about everything.
I love you. Forgive me.
P.S. - Kairi is a bitch, and you could do so much better.
P.S.S. - Naminé, forget me
--
The dried blood mixed with her tears, skewing the ink across the paper, and making misty red droplets that dripped down onto the floor below.
-x
LAMELAMELAMELAME
I'm sorry for the late update :( please forgive me!
ONLY FIVE CHAPTERS LEFT! *gasp*
please review and let me know what you think :)