HAABAWABBA DING DONG! *brain explodes in the vacuum of my head* Hullo, ladies and gents! Here, as promised, is your delicious chapter of smut and gooey sappiness! But first, some more angst. Cause, clearly, that is what this fic needs. More angst. Sadly, this will also probably be the final chapter of this particular fic. BUT! Before you kill me- *dodges flames and knives* -please note that I am already bumbling YET ANOTHER idea for YET ANOTHER fic in the terrifying cavern that is my mind. Also, I'm probably gonna start "expanding my horizons" or whatever it's called. Yeah, I'm gonna write a 5/6 fic from the movie 9. It would appear that films with the number 9 in their titles are one of my weak spots, along with kittens, short, sociopathic redheads, and chocolate. BUT I'VE SAID TOO MUCH ALREADY. Wa-heigh!

PS: ZombieSmasher: DAMN RIGHT, I WANNA TRADE CARDS!

"What did he tell you?" Wikus leaned in urgently. "Chris, what did he tell you?"

Christopher blinked and looked slightly confused by his friend's reaction. "Uh- he just… told me your good news," he said with sad, false enthusiasm. "He… he said that you'd chosen a mate. He didn't know who, but he and the others seemed fairly confident that it was Burreekibakk." He finally raised his head and looked Wikus in the eye, doing his best to hide his misery and burning jealousy. If Wikus is happy, then… I will be happy for him. "He is a very decent person. Very… very handsome. He's extremely lucky."

Wikus shook his head in disbelief. "Chris," he said as he tilted even closer, "You are an idiot."

And with that, he pinned Christopher to the bed and kissed him.

Christopher went rigid with shock as they're mouths met for the second time (the first time for him; he didn't remember their first kiss). Wikus let his soft labrum slide and twine with his mate's briefly before pulling back.

The stunned prawn gaped up at the transformed human, stuttering, "Y-you… uh. I mean… this… that is, uh…" He blinked and coughed nervously. "D-does this mean you do not, in fact, have intentions of being mated to Burreekibakk?"

"You're damn fucking right it does," Wikus replied easily, slipping into the bed and laying his chin on Christopher's chest to peer into his eyes. The abused Poleepkwa reached out a hand to timidly stroke Wikus' cheek, as if afraid he would disappear. Noting the slight tremor in Chris' touch, the hybrid lifted his own arm, taking Christopher's hand in his own and pressing it firmly to his face.

"It's okay," he clicked softly. "I'm here; I'm not going anywhere."

Christopher nodded, reassured, but didn't try to take his hand away. The two lay in silence for a long moment, looking into one another's eyes. Wikus leaned forward and kissed his friend again, letting his hands slide down and explore the body beneath him. Christopher's arms hung loosely around Wikus' shoulders. His eyes closed and he moaned softly as the other Poleepkwa's mouth moved against his own and two pairs of hands gently mapped his form. Wikus was only mildly struck by the thought that all those lessons in prawn anatomy that MNU had been so careful to instruct everyone on were finally coming in handy. One of his binary limbs brushed along Chris' concave stomach, slipping down and down…

"Oh!" A surprised gasp slipped past Christopher's maxillae and he squirmed with pleasure as the small deft fingers dipped into the grooved cleft that hid his male reproductive organ. "W-Wikus- oohh…" His tiger-colored eyes fluttered and he arched up, his own secondary arms reaching out to stroke Wikus' hip.

Smirking as an idea struck him, Wikus knelt between Chris' spread legs and lowered his head.

Christopher's entire body jerked off the nest, his limbs trembling uncontrollably, moaning and whimpering as his mate's mouthparts trailed across his sensitive opening. Wikus chuckled darkly and slid one tentacle inside the tight cloaca, penetrating and lapping gently at the sides while Chris panted and begged with wordless clicks and vocalizations. When he inserted a second, Christopher screamed and sat up, clutching and stroking Wikus' antennae with desperate, beseeching movements. Wikus thrummed and the vibrations made the tormented Poleepkwa howl with bliss.

Wikus shifted a leg so that he was straddling Chris and moved his head back up, sucking at the other prawn's throat. Christopher's breathing had become heavy, his neck moving up and down rapidly as he panted. He pushed his upper body up off the bed, clinging to the Poleepkwa above him like a life preserver. Wikus chuckled deep in his throat and ran a teasing fingertip down one of his mate's antennae, making him writhe and whimper. Enjoying this reaction, Wikus used his smaller hands to coax Chris' arousal from its hiding place and pump it swiftly. He let his labrum and maxillae play along the roughened surface of the other male's feelers. Christopher groaned, his senses overwhelmed.

"Wikus," he whispered desperately, mouthing the ex-human's shoulder and chest. "Mmmore, don't stop, please-" His hips jumped involuntarily, grinding them together. Wikus groaned with pleasure and felt his erection slide out of its armored sheath. He gasped and gripped the blankets when a tentative hand grasped him and gave a long, agonizing stroke.

"Uhhn, fuck, Chris, that feels-oh!"

Christopher slung his legs around Wikus' pelvis. Guiding the member in his hand down and under until it pressed against his hidden entrance. He tightened his legs' grip, pulling his mate closer and letting out a raw, needy vocalization as the head of the other male's arousal began to impale him.

"Wikus, please, now, do it now, please, I need-AAH!"

Wikus thrust forward in one perfect, fluid motion, fully embedding himself within the begging prawn before drawing almost all the way out and plunging back in. Christopher keened wordlessly, lost in exquisitely rapturous sensation. He could feel Wikus deep inside him, the stiff organ stretching and filling and puncturing and making him hurt so good.

Wikus began to move, and Christopher fell apart.

His arms gave out and he fell back onto the nest as Wikus pounded into him in a perfect, powerful rhythm. The former human leaned down, still pumping his hips against Christopher's, and twined their mouth tentacles together again. The recovered prawn moaned once more and lifted a shaking hand to rub the smaller set of antennae atop his mates head, making Wikus cry out as well. Their mouths separated but their faces remained almost touching as Wikus ground against Christopher and let his binary hands take hold of the other prawn's aching arousal, sliding up and down its length. Chris choked, biting back a scream, and dragged his fingers down Wikus' spinal plates, finding a grip and pulling him deeper. The hybrid growled in approval, quickening his pace and making Chris wail in helpless ecstasy.

"Ahh! Ahh-Wikus- fuck, ohh, fuck harder OH oh please don't stop, please, Wikus, I-I love you-!"

Hearing those words, Wikus felt as though a miniature explosion had occurred inside him, filling every nerve and vein with liquid sunlight. Chris' insides constricted hot and tight around him as the prawn came, and less than a second later Wikus followed, shouting Christopher's name in his chainsaw voice.

The two collapsed, Wikus' arms finally giving out as he melted into a heap on top of his mate. The moment he could breathe again, he hauled himself up and kissed Christopher again, long and slow, before murmuring, "I love you too, Chris."

There was a deep, resonant, planet-shaking rumble.

"Um… Chris? Was- was it just me, or did the Earth move for you too?"

"Ship's taking off," Christopher replied muzzily, his eyelids already drooping in contented post-coital drowsiness. "We're going home."

"Home…" Wikus' subconscious told him he should probably go look out the window, watch his planet disappear, but some deeper part of him was content to simply lie on the bed next to the being he loved. Besides, it's not like I can never come back for a visit. And it's not really my planet. He looked over at Chris, who was curled at his side, and smiled. Not any more.