Starting over – chapter 5

Alex opened her eyes when she could no longer ignore the brightness of the light seeping in through the curtains. Groaning, she turned her head towards her alarm clock, the bright red numerals telling her it was approaching 10 am. Shit. She should be – oh. Flopping back onto the mattress, she remembered she didn't have to be anywhere at all. The ache in her side had faded from a sharp stab to a dull throb, itching slightly, but the docs had told her that was a good sign, and she smiled, hoping she'd soon be back to full fitness. Then her eyes widened as she remembered something else.

Turning her head carefully in the other direction, she frowned as saw nothing but empty space. She hadn't imagined inviting him to spend the night, had she? Dragging herself to full wakefulness, she realised she could make out the sound of water running in her bathroom. He was in the bathroom. He was in her shower. Something fluttered in her tummy but she ignored it, pushing herself from the bed and peeling off yesterday's clothes, quickly pulling on her robe as she heard Gene turning off the water.

Not wanting him to find her in the bedroom, she headed for the sitting area but paused at the door as she saw him heading towards her, towel slung around his hips, yesterday's shirt hanging open across his shoulders. His hand went to his shirt fronts, pulling them together. "Thought you were asleep," he mumbled. "Used your shower. Hope you don't mind."

She shook her head, swallowing. "Course not. Make yourself at home." Waving her hand in the direction of the bedroom, she stepped back to make room for him to pass. Not enough room, though, as he brushed against her in the doorway. Murmuring apologies they shuffled around each other until Gene reached the safety of the bedroom and Alex could relax as she heard the door click behind him.

Flopping down on the sofa, she closed her eyes and flung back her head. She could still smell him, a blend of her lemon shower gel and his own unmistakeable scent, and it should have been ridiculous but knew from the flipping of her stomach that it wasn't. Nor was the sight of damp tendrils curling around Gene's open collar or the expanse of chest beneath his open shirt. Not ridiculous at all.

In the bedroom, Gene sat heavily on the edge of the bed, buttoning himself into his shirt, trying to catch his breath. He doubted she'd meant to reveal quite so much flesh at the collar of her robe, nor quite such a length of shapely, elegant leg, but that didn't make the images any less eye-catching. He ran a hand through his hair, determined to stop thinking about Alex's mussed up hair, her sleep-dimmed eyes, trying to remember her bullet wound instead, the wound he'd been responsible for inflicting. It wasn't as easy as it should have been.

Telling himself to stop being such a soft flaming jessie, he finished dressing and wandered back out to the sitting room. She didn't look any less desirable. He cleared his throat, stuffing his tie in his trouser pocket. "Need to get home for a change of clothes, then over the road. I'm already about two hours late – phoned Ray while you were asleep, told them I was chasing up a lead. He knows better than to ask too many questions, but I can't stay out too long, need to remind them I'm still their boss." He looked at the floor for a moment. "I'd stay if I could."

She nodded up at him. "Course, yeah. Of course. They need you." He was patting his pockets, ready to leave. "Breakfast, though? You've got time for something?" Hopping off the sofa, she vanished into the kitchen, head in the fridge as she looked for provisions.

"I really should go, Alex."

She popped her head around the doorframe. "I've got bacon and eggs." Opened the carton, frowning. "One egg. It's yours."

He should leave, could only get away with being out of the office for so long, but she looked so vulnerable standing there, eyes pleading with him even as her face remained neutral. And there was bacon. "Thanks. Better make it quick."

It took her less than five minutes to fry the bacon and egg and make them into sandwiches, which she served up alongside mugs of strong tea. He liked watching her cook for him. Was this the first time she'd done it? They'd eaten together more times than he could remember, but always out – Luigi's, the canteen, a greasy spoon while they were on a job – never anything she'd made herself. He liked it.

She sat opposite him, making quick work of her own butty. She liked watching him eat. Why was that? Not just here, but whenever they ate together. He had such unabashed enthusiasm for food. Hearty appetites. What did that say about him? Or about her?

She snapped out of her daydream as Gene pushed his plate away, slurping down the last of the tea. He slapped his thighs. "Right then, Bolls. Ta for the grub. Best get back before they forget to be scared of me."

Smiling, she rose with him and trailed him to the door. "They're not scared of you, Guv. They just let you think that because it's easier than letting you know they like you."

Gene spluttered, "Like me? It's not the bleeding Brownies. Don't want them to like me. Want them to fear me."

"Well, they don't. But they do respect you. It'll have to do."

Sniffing, Gene nodded. It'd do fine, if true. He wasn't sure though, not since the shooting. Not sure of anything. He opened the door and was half way through it before he turned back towards Alex. "I'll, er, see you later, then, shall I?"

"Still not really ready for Luigi's, Guv. But you could come back here, you know. If you want to."

He sent her the slightest of smiles. "Kay. Yes. I'll do that. Make sure you're all right."

"I'll be fine. No need to fuss. But come round anyway."

Nodding, he reached out and gave her upper arm a squeeze. She swayed towards him, tilting her face up, her eyelids fluttering closed as his head dipped to hers. In a moment of indecision he wasn't sure where to aim, bumping against her nose as he finally managed to settle the kiss somewhere near the corner of her mouth.

"See you tonight, then, Guv," she smiled as he drew away.

"Have a good day, Bolls." He left abruptly, clicking the door closed behind him, pausing in the stairwell to wipe his hand across his face before hurrying down the stairs and into the Quattro.

On the drive home, his mind strayed back to the previous night, lying alongside her as she slept. Her face had been relaxed, free of the tension she'd been wearing so often lately, her breathing gentle and regular. She'd slept soundly, in stark contrast to him. He'd snatched an hour or two here and there but kept waking, unable to ignore the presence of the woman next to him.

The first time he'd awakened he'd tuned carefully onto his side, taking in her profile, the bump on her nose, the soft, slightly parted lips. Her hair was spread out across the pillow, close enough to smell, and he'd turned his face into it, eyes closed, breathing in.

Later, he'd awoken to find her curled into his side, her hand over his heart, one knee lying between his. He'd barely been able to breathe. Her body had been soft, warm, and it draped over his like silk. For a moment he'd just lain there, drinking in the feel of her, until he slipped one arm across her, pulling her closer in. She'd stirred slightly, mumbling something he didn't catch, her fingers moving gently against his chest, then she'd relaxed against him again. Swallowing hard, he'd ignored the surge of blood to his groin, opting instead to drop the gentlest of kisses on her forehead before carefully disentangling himself and rolling away. He wanted desperately to hold her while she slept but not like this, not while she was still carrying her injury, while he still felt guilty every time he looked at her. He'd closed his eyes tight, pulling the sheets high around his shoulder, and forced himself back to sleep.

His body had betrayed him, though, and he'd woken again to find himself lying on his side with Alex spooned into him. His arm had been dropped around her waist, his face against the back of her neck, his erection pressing hard into the soft curve of her bottom. Before he could stop himself he'd tightened his arm, flexing his hips into her, pressing a kiss against her shoulder. His hand had pressed against the flat of her stomach, sweeping gently upwards, cupping her breast, stroking across her tightening nipple. He'd heard her sigh in her sleep, mumbling his name, and the sound had been enough to bring him to his senses. Allowing himself one more kiss, dropping it behind her ear, he'd whispered that she should go back to sleep then rolled away from her once more.

Sleep after that had been hard to find, guilt competing with lust, neither emotion able to strike the knockout blow. He'd eventually opened his eyes to find it was well into morning and he'd eased himself out of the bed and into the shower, horny and tired and miserable. He still couldn't believe she'd forgiven him. For the shooting, maybe, but the rest of it? Coming back to the present as he pulled up outside his house, he shook his head.

~ o ~

Rolling her eyes, Alex wondered whether listening to the Jimmy Young programme on Radio 2 was a bad sign – surely she wouldn't be listening to this rubbish if she was back at full strength? She'd take Jeremy Vine any day. She was relieved from the tedium at the sound of a knock at the door and was only slightly disappointed to see it was Shaz.

"Hello, Ma'am," Shaz announced brightly. "Guv said I could come over and see you, bring you a bit of lunch." She held up a paper bag and a can of Fanta.

"Thanks, Shaz, come in."

Shaz clinked about for a moment in the kitchen, emerging with a sandwich on a plate, an open bag of crisps and a glass of something fizzy and orange. Alex looked at it dubiously, but took it nonetheless.

"How are things over at the station, Shaz?" Alex asked. "How are things with Chris?"

Shaz looked at the floor. "He still feels badly about things, Ma'am, and people are still giving him a hard time. I wish they wouldn't. After all, if I've forgiven him and the Guv's willing to give him a second chance, why can't everyone else leave it alone?"

"It must be very difficult for him, Shaz. He's always been such a popular member of the team, it can't be easy finding himself out on the edge of things all of a sudden."

"No, it isn't. He's turned in on himself a bit. Not his usual self." Shaz sat on the edge of the sofa, plucking at the fabric of her skirt. Alex leaned over and gave her arm a gentle squeeze.

"At least he's got you. It's more than he could have expected. He cares about you a great deal, you know that, don't you? And he's been worried about whether you felt the same. Just make sure you tell him."

Pausing for a moment, Shaz sent a shy smile to Alex. "I do that, Ma'am. All the time. But…"

"What is it, Shaz? Is something wrong?"

"No, Ma'am. It's just… Well, I think you should take you own advice. That's all. Might help your own relationship."

Alex looked quizzical. "What relationship?"

"Exactly." Without giving Alex time to respond, she slipped off the sofa and carried Alex's empty plate and glass back into the kitchen. Rooting around for a biscuit tin, she called over, "Guv was looking a bit better this morning, Ma'am."

"Er… Really?"

"Yeah. He's been so upset." Her voice was muffled as she ducked down to look into a cupboard. "Ah. Gotcha." She carried the biscuits over to the sofa and took a seat next to Alex. "He's been ever so moody, you know. Even more than normal. Chris says he was even worse than when Sam died. But he looked more himself this morning. Happy, almost."

Biting on a digestive, Alex smiled and looked away. "I'm sure he's just relieved everything's back the way it should be."

"Mmmm," replied Shaz, unconvinced. "Not quite back to usual yet, though, Ma'am. How long before you'll be back, do you think?"

"Hard to say. Could be days, could be longer if there are complications."

"Only… The Guv needs you to come back as soon as you can," Shaz got out in a rush.

Alex waved an unconcerned hand. "Ray can stand in well enough until I'm fit again, and the Guv's got the rest of the team to look after him."

"Well, that's just it, Ma'am. I think some of them are still a bit suspicious. About what happened, you know?"

Bristling, Alex snapped, "But that's just ridiculous. The Guv would never hurt me on purpose. They must know that."

Shaz shrugged. "I'm sure they'll come round. They'll just do it a bit quicker if they can see you're okay, I reckon. That you don't blame him."

Alex sighed. "Well, I want to get back as soon as I can anyway. I'm going out of my mind sitting around here. And you can tell anyone who's interested that the Guv is back and they'd better get behind him or they'll have me to answer to."

"Yes, Ma'am," Shaz giggled as she rose from the sofa and headed to the door. "See you back at your desk soon."

The rest of Alex's afternoon passed slowly, with her alternately dozing and catching up with her reading pile. The pain in her side was manageable if she kept on top of the painkillers and she was already beginning to feel stronger. She'd stuffed her watch in her pocket as she was fed up of looking at it, wondering how long it would be before Gene returned. Fed up of wondering whether he'd worked out how much she needed him, whether felt the same. Hearing the sound of a key turning in the lock, she smiled and looked up at the door.

To be continued.

AN - Thank you once again to everyone who's reviewed and favourited, your comments really mean a lot to me. Hope to update soon. Lou x