Rating: T
Comments: Short. Sakura reflects on the past.
I Will Smile
Sakura
Life hasn't been so bad.
Not when you stop and think about. Not when you hear the stories out there.
That's why, sitting here, staring up at the clouds, I can be happy. I've missed opportunities. I've lost those precious to me. I have done so much that I would give the world to change.
But life hasn't been so bad.
All I have to recall is a delicate face, with large opaque eyes and a smile to ease the world of its worries. Her father's eyes. In her, he lives on - giving me the strength to grapple with memories bittersweet.
Oh, how I love her. Waking up in the morning, tiptoeing to her cradle to smile gently at her, to watch her so peaceful in sleep. He was the same, so silent and calm, his brow smooth and free of his problems and regrets for those few moments. He, too, would have that little quirk to his lips, an optimistic tilt that always had me leaning forward to brush my fingers against his mouth, feeling his breath brush against my skin.
I loved those moments with him. Short moments.
But they were wonderful.
How we would laugh at the thought of having children. We laughed, because it was easier than crying - easier than facing the devastation that war had brought to our home. Our friends were always away, on missions... or permanently taken from our lives.
It was reality.
I hated it.
He had given me a haven, a fantastical place I could hide. In his arms, I was free, I was ecstatic, I was flying through the skies - soaring with the freedom that he had fought so hard for.
Until bitter truth had broken apart my little shell of denial. Until he, too, disappeared; nothing more than a name carved on rock - and with a legacy in the blood of the daughter he never knew he had.
My Neji, my love. A father in his last moments.
I can still recall Kakashi's steps as he entered the hospital room, his eye dark with fatigue and a dread that I knew. I knew, before he spoke. I knew the moment I saw him.
How many tears have I cried?
He has shouldered them all, embraced me through the storms. He bears with the constant questions, the fretting, the anxiety of a new mother.
A child should have a father, I would always say. How can I raise her alone?
And he would simply smile beneath that mask of his, and gently remind me that we are a team. The only members of the team surviving, but still with bonds that could not be broken.
Naruto, Sasuke... would you be proud of me now?
I often wonder if you can gaze upon my life, and if you would laugh and scorn my road. A Chuunin, a mother, a teacher. One with perfect control and perfect knowledge, but no outstanding skills in the field.
But oh, I have the memories.
I still remember when Naruto truly became strong in my eyes.
I remember when Sasuke left me on a quest for strength.
I remember them coming home to me.
I remember greeting them with tears.
I cried then, too, didn't I?
You never liked my tears, Sasuke.
And Naruto, you hated to see my sadness.
But now... now, despite the sadness, despite the tears, I have laughter, joy, purpose. I have my daughter, I have the duty to uphold the Hyuuga bloodline. She will be the next head of that family.
Neji, I swear to you that there will be no penalties to a younger son. I will change the fate that you so railed against.
And while doing all this, I will be happy.
For you all, I will smile. My heart will warm with your memories. And I will live, live with your thoughts with me always. My daughter will hear of your stories - the child who was determined to become a Hokage, who gained strength through sheer force of deed; the boy who had thought himself an avenger after the destruction of his family, then realized that his true mission in life was to find love; the one who fought against fate, who became strong despite the ties binding him.
It is here, in the body of a child, in her heart, in her mind, that all your dreams will come true.
I promise that.