Kennedy sat down and exhaled deeply, I took a seat across from him and waited for him to say anything. "Britta," he started "no matter what happens I want you to always remember how much you love me right now." Though I knew those words wouldn't be followed with anything I wanted to hear, I still took the time to breathe it all in, I knew I loved Kennedy more than anything and I just lived I that moment trying to leave it imprinted on my heart. "Okay," I whispered "Now what's going on?" Kennedy cleared his throat, "I…I don't know how to say this." He crossed and uncrossed his arms, and then drummed his fingers on the edge of the table, "Britta," he finally spoke. "Yes Kennedy?" I replied a little shaken. "When I went back to Arizona, something happened." My insides started to burn, "something like what Kennedy?" I asked my neck tensing and my heart pounding. "Well I was at my moms and I had to go to the store for her, and while I was at the store I ran into an old friend." My bottom lip started to quiver, "and old friend Kennedy or an ex-girlfriend?" Staring at the floor Kennedy stuttered, "Gabi, I…I ran into Gabi." The tears started falling, "Kennedy you didn't" I pleaded through my teeth. "We…we slept together," he started "but it was a mistake and I wish I could take it back." I quickly flew out of my chair, "oh don't even try and tell me this was a mistake Kennedy!" Still staring at the floor Kennedy lilted ", it was a mistake the last thing I wanted to do was hurt you." My hands clenched into fists and my tears weren't sad tears anymore, they were pure angry tears, "Well it's a little late for that huh Kenny?" I spat the words at him, "and no it wasn't a mistake Kennedy, the only mistake was me thinking I could trust you." With that I stormed to the bedroom, grabbed the rest of my stuff and glared at Kennedy as I headed for the door, I didn't have time to cry or get upset, the only thing I had time for was to yell, "by the way, we're FUCKING over" and slammed the door behind me.
Flashback OVER…
That was the last time I ever spoke to Kennedy, I wanted to hate him more than anything but I knew I couldn't I still loved him. And every time I'd listen to 6 Months by Hey Monday, I couldn't help but tear up and remember that it was playing the first time I told Kennedy I loved him. But that part of me was gone.
We pulled up to my New Jersey beach house around 2pm, I followed Eric out the passenger side door and let out a groan as I finally got to stretch my tired limbs. Britton and Nick did a double check of the trailer and we finally all settled inside. My beach house was more "urban" than one would think of as a beach house, it was brick and actually had a lawn and stone steps. I opened the door and the scent of vanilla candles wafted in my nostrils, looked like my best friend Sam had kept her promise and looked after my house and cat Trixibelle like she promised. Leaving Sam at Seton Hall was really hard for me, we had gone to college together, to be together, but when I told her I was going on tour with my rockstar boyfriend after meeting him during my internship at Fearless records, she understood. She stayed at my house when she wanted to get away from dorm life, and sometimes in the summer. I attempted to give the guys a quick tour but they said "they got it" and "it hasn't been that long" so I gave up and retired to the couch. My house had enough rooms for Eric and I to have my room, Nick and Justin could share a room and Andrew and Britton to split the guest room. After everyone knew where they were sleeping and got slightly unpacked we all ended up in the living room. Eric joined me on the couch and quickly snuck a kiss. "Well sir," I said gripping the collar of his favorite leather jacket, "somebody's being sneaky." We kissed again as Justin walked in the living room, "oh jeez, get a room" he teased and fake covered his eyes. "It's my house, so you go get a room!" I replied and kissed Eric again. Justin chuckled and grabbed the remote and soon Nick came around the corner into the living room. "Well the shows not until 7 and we don't have to be at should check until 6, so…" he explained as he flopped down in the recliner. "So, what do you guys want to do?"I looked around the room for something to do, my eyes landed on my tall rack of DVDs, "want to watch a movie?" I asked. Everyone looked around and read each other's expressions, "sure" Nick shrugged, "I'm down." "Down for what?" Andrew asked entering the room. "Watching a movie trick," Nick replied laughing. Andrew joined Justin on the sectional. I got up off the couch and picked out a few movies and lay them on the coffee table, "pick one guys, I'm not really in the movie mood, I think I'm gonna go lie down and get some rest" I explained grabbing my cell phone and iPod off the table. Eric got up off the couch, "I'll come lay with you until you fall asleep, I sure I won't miss much with the movies these characters choose to watch." I smiled and grabbed Eric's hand, "okay," I replied. Leading Eric to the bedroom I heard the guys making kissy noises behind us, "really funny guys," I called back, "except we're actually probably going to sleep." As we reached the top step of the stairs Britton was turning to go down stairs, "hey guys," he exclaimed, "thanks again for letting us stay here Britta." I waved my hand in the air, "no problem, you guys needed a place to stay and I had one, you're practically my family now you know that." Britton smiled, "really thank you," he said starting to descend the stairs.
We reached my room and there was a note on the door I guessed was from Sam it read, "My dearest best friend Britta, I hope you're having an amazing time on tour with your new rockstar boyfriend Eric. I tried to keep the house as nice as it was when I found it and Trixibelle is doing fine, still a bitch though. I miss you a bunch and thank you for getting me this AMAZING internship, I owe you my life. Professor Markowitz missed you to HA! Well I got a new number so call me! I love you, Sam." Her new number was written at the bottom of the note; I took it off the door, folded it and put in my pocket to remember to call her later. As soon as I opened the door to my room memories came flooding back, my first night of college away from home, the first time Eric told me he loved me, and losing my virginity to Eric all happened in this room. Eric took his jacket off and placed it on my papasan chair, I stripped down to my tank top and leggings I'd wore under my jeans. My claves were sore and I really needed to rest, I lay down in my bed and the pillow top mattress hugged me just the right way. Eric lay down next to me and put his arm around me, I grabbed my iPod off the table and placed one headphone in each of our ears. Putting it on shuffle I quickly put my iPod on hold and lay it down before I realized what song it was, 6 Months by Hey Monday. I felt the lump start forming in my throat and before the tears had time to fall I quickly grabbed my iPod and changed the song. "On Your Side" came up next on shuffle, I smiled and looked up at Eric who was now smiling too, "I love this song," he said. "Me too," I sighed and let the emotions and tensions I'd felt before slip away. "It…it's about you, ya know that right?" Eric whispered. "What?" I looked up into his eyes, "I wrote this song about you," Eric explained, "about that day, you know the day you found out about Kennedy. You were so broken, "he explained, "and I wanted to fix everything, but I knew I couldn't make it better. The only thing I could do was be there for you and love you. That's what the songs about. Remember that night?" Of course I remembered that night, I remembered everything and most of all I remembered Eric saving me, again… Back to Flashback…I stepped off the bus, tears streaming down my face. I hated everything and everyone in this world. I rounded the corner and made a B-line for my car, I didn't know where I was going but I knew I had to leave. I reached the hotel and quickly ran up to my room, as soon as I sat on the bed the reality of what just happened finally hit me, and hit me hard. The room started to spin and I couldn't feel my legs, I thought I was going to die. Soon my stomach turned and the sobs turned into dry heaves, I ran to the bathroom and kneeled over the toilet, but nothing came up. I cried harder, spit, and flushed. As I stood up I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror, I was so broken and disgusted I didn't recognize myself. Basically crawling back to the bed I collapsed and screamed another cry into the pillow, I couldn't believe the one person in this world who I loved and trusted the most could just throw us away like that. I immediately thought of Eric, and how I'd stopped him last night because of Kennedy. I reached for my phone, my hands shaking and texted Eric, "I need you." and hit send.
Soon my phone vibrated in my hands, Eric texted back, "I'll already on my way." Holding my phone close to my chest I tried to just breathe while I waited for Eric but I couldn't get my mind off Kennedy. I hoped Gabi was happy, she got her wish, and she could have him because there was no way we'd ever be together again. But my heart ached for him, and so the sobs wouldn't stop. A light knock came upon the door, crawling out of bed I dragged my feet to the door and pulled it open. There was Eric, looking flushed and concerned, he exhaled deeply and gave me that look, the same look he gave me last night before he held me and gave me a change of clothes. My bottom lip quivered, "I was wrong," I whispered. "What?" Eric asked motioning for me to step back into the room. He closed the door behind him and turned to face me again, "I was wrong Eric," my voice cracking from crying so much. "What happened Britta?" he asked this time holding my hand. "Kennedy, he he cheated on me, when he went back to Arizona Eric. I...I was wrong; he's not the one for me. I was wrong." "Oh my god," Eric breathed and then held me in his arms; I cried harder and dug my head into his chest. "I'm so sorry," he whispered, "I don't know what to say." I led him to the bed and just lay there, his arms around me, crying and hiccupping and trying to catch my breath. "Britta, this isn't your fault you know that right? Any guy would be lucky to have you; Kennedy has no idea what he just lost." I took a deep breath, "I really thought he was the one for me Eric. I guess I'll never know who my 'one' is" Eric sighed, "You'll find him, I promise." Cuddling up to Eric's chest again I lay there for what seemed like an hour, slowly my mind started to clear and the only sound I could hear was Eric's heart besting fast in his chest. I realized I'd stopped crying and everything was...okay, and I realized what I should have a long long time ago. Pulling away from Eric's hold I looked up into his eyes and whispered, "It's you," it felt like time stopped, "it's always been you." Closing my eyes I slowly kissed his perfect pink lips, and that was it, I knew from that moment on, Eric James Halvorsen was the one for me, and nothing else mattered.
Flashback over…
I woke up alone with my iPod headphones in my ears playing a Colbie Caillat song. Eric must've stayed with me until I'd fallen asleep and then gone down stairs to watch movies with the guys. I couldn't tell what time it was, the sun in the sky had changed a little, but it couldn't have been 6'oclock already. Reaching for my phone to check the time, which was 4:45, I noticed Sams note and decided to give her a call to her new number. I punched in the number and waited for her to pick up on the other end, soon the phone stopped ringing and all I heard was distant whispers for a few seconds and finally a voice spoke, but it wasn't Sam, "Hello, I'm assuming you're calling to talk to Sam, but I'm sad to say she's not available at the moment. But as her boyfriend I am obligated to take a message for her, so who's this and what's up?" My neck started to tense, my heart sped up, and soon it felt like the room was spinning; I'd recognize that voice anywhere, it was Kennedy.