Sode no Shirayuki was limp in her palm, very loosely held as she watched his Zanpakuto spin in a pinwheel motion before her. Her heart ached, as the blood ran down her cheek and dripped onto her shihakusho. And the water spun around his blade, transforming the sealed Zanpakuto into a grand trident. From normal and bland into Nejibana, with only five words.

"Churn the waters of heaven."

The transformation was done and he repeated the Zanpakuto's name, only solidifying in Rukia Kuchiki's heart that this...this could be her Shiba Kaien. No, not hers. She did nothing more to have him than take his life in the cold rain, so he was never hers. But this Kaien was cruel, and toyed with her viciously while wearing his carefree smile. This was not her Kaien. This was not Kaien at all. She hoped it wasn't.

"Prepare yourself, Kuchiki."

And with that, the battle began. She wanted to believe it wasn't Kaien, but everything said that this was him. The characteristic stance, the moves focusing on the rotation of his wrist, the trademark waves crashing down all around her that would either crush her or cut her in two, this was all his work. There was doubt that she was trying to hold onto, but that doubt was slipping out of her fingers like silk, doubt as thin as spider's webs. And as she danced away from his attacks, as she blew open the roof and revealed him for what he was, Rukia Kuchiki could only think of why she was here, could only remember how it had all turned out like this.

Rukia Kuchiki could slip back into the time that she could forget.

She really did love him. In a way.

When Rukia had actually gotten with Ichigo, after Inoue had been kidnapped, it started out so well. Ichigo was kind, sweet, and though he didn't smile too often, she was the one that recieved most of his smiles. Byakuya wasn't too happy about her choice in men, but said nothing about it and in fact pretended that it didn't exist at all. Ignored it completely. That was great, actually. She would see him when she could, and they were happy.

It didn't last. Not nearly long enough.

He left in a hurry after graduation, moved to Kyoto without so much as a word to anybody, didn't tell her where he had gone for the longest time. He isolated himself. Ichigo Kurosaki vanished.

It didn't last. Not nearly long enough.

Rukia spent her time without Ichigo pining away, wondering where he went. She wanted to see him. She really did. Because when she was with Ichigo, in his arms, even in his bed, she didn't have to think about things. Rukia didn't have to think about why she was fighting, she didn't have to remember Renji drinking himself to death every night, she didn't have to remember that she was the one that made him that way. She didn't have to remember a princess locked away in Hueco Mundo completely alone, probably being tortured by Ichimaru and ravished by hollows or something just as nightmarish. She didn't have to remember kneeling in the dark red mud on a rainy night, a warm but cooling body laying against her and a corpse thanking her for his death.

She didn't have to remember.

She needed him so that she didn't have to remember.

And all of a sudden, he contacted her again through a patrolling shinigami near wherever he was. He wanted her to come to see him again. And Rukia jumped at the chance to come and see her Ichigo, so that she could start forgetting again. But when she showed up at the small apartment, she knew something was different, something was wrong. His mannerisms were identical to how they had been, but there was...something different. His eyes were exactly the same, but at the same time, they weren't. His smile was just as warm, but it was so much crueler. He was Ichigo, but he was...he was something else.

Rukia found out (very quickly) that she was right.

She found out relatively slowly as he revealed more and more to her. He had a hairtrigger temper at times, and at other times, he had the paitence of a saint. He could be kind, and at other times, he could be downright cruel. He could be charming, and he could be downright vulgar. He could whisper sweet nothings into her ear and he could also hiss venomous words into her face. He could tell her that he loved her, and he could tell her that he was the only one that did.

He could be Ichigo, and he could be a monster. And Rukia found out that he could switch on a dime.

This wasn't Ichigo. She told herself that it wasn't, but her doubt was merely a sliver. A sliver that she held on to so tightly. He was violent, he was crude, he was evil. And she was still with him, for one reason.

Because she still didn't have to remember when she was with him. That was it. She was using him, a parasite sapping comfort and the thick white veil that blanketed her and hid her from her crimes and her guilt. It was pathetic. It was horribly pathetic. But it was the truth. And this not-Ichigo was happy to let her forget if she would pick him back up after a party, if she let him use her. So she did. And anybody believe it or not, she was happy with that situation, even if there was no real kindness in his eyes, even if his voice was slicker, crueler. Even if Ichigo Kurosaki was now a monster, she could live with that and she could be happy with it. Just as long as he'd let her get another hit of forgetting, as if she were some junkie hooked on not remembering what she'd done and who she'd hurt in her life.

Then Renji snapped her out of it, even though she told him not to show. She told him not to come to save her, because she didn't need saving. Rukia didn't think she needed a savior, and the faux Ichigo told her she didn't. But Renji showed her the bruises, and told her that she didn't deserve that. And she opened her eyes again. Renji let her cry on him, was so kind to her. But he couldn't help her forget, not when he smelled of alcohol and cheap perfume and sex. He only reminded her. And even when she was against him, crying her eyes out, and he was thinking that she was crying because of Ichigo, she was really crying because of him.

She realized then that she wasn't happy with remembering, but she didn't want to quit forgetting either. She was in a state of total hopelessness. And so Rukia Kuchiki acted on pure impulse. She told Ichigo that Renji was getting wise to his antics, and that he was going to need to tone it down or he might tell Byakuya. He flew off the handle, called her a bitch, told her she was worthless, and that he was the only one that would ever want her. She didn't even care, didn't even blink. And that was why he hit her in the first place. Renji busted in, and she ran off from them. Renji was hotheaded and only reminded her of her faults. Ichigo was dangerous and was only using her, though she now knew from that look of fear in his eyes at her mention of Byakuya that this was not Ichigo. And she couldn't bear the stress of being between these two men any longer, not when the mantle of nobility was stressful enough and the insignificance she felt as Byakuya's adoptive sister was just too much to bear. Not now, when she was enduring the stress of a war, watching her friends fall on the battlefield.

She wanted to forget.

This was not Ichigo. This was his hollow. She knew it. Ichigo wasn't afraid of Byakuya. But he had once jokingly told her that his hollow sure as hell didn't like her brother. Now she knew. His hollow had won, and Ichigo was gone. Her world broke. So she told Renji that she was going to leave Ichigo, which, technically, she was. And she sealed her promise with a kiss. But Rukia had another idea in mind, one that would most definitely be carried out.

She was going to Hueco Mundo, and she wasn't coming back.

Nejibana was in her stomach, as she hovered over Aaroniero wearing Kaien's face. The mass of tentacles writhed beneath them both, horrifying, disgusting. Rukia remembered Kaien's words, about leaving your heart with friends, about not dying alone. A tear dripped onto Aaroniero's face and rolled down his cheek, and he stared up in surprise at her while it ran down his face. It almost looked as if Aaroniero himself were crying.

"I'm sorry, Kaien. Forgive me." Rukia said quietly, closing her eyes. Sode no Shirayuki dropped from her hand, landing on the white immaculate floor and sticking in it upright. A moment later, she felt herself lowering to the floor and a comforting hand on her shoulder, Nejibana pulling out of her body and leaving her to hang in his hand limply.

"You're not injured to a point where you can't move. Stand up." Aaroniero spoke to her, and she opened her eyes. The blade hadn't pierced any organs, which was a miracle; it meant he wasn't aiming for her body directly, at least not in a killing blow. She moved to her feet, swaying slightly and stood before him as he had returned to the form of Kaien Shiba, her idol, the man she might have loved. He sighed, a bit, once again acting like Kaien Shiba. He was exasperated. Glancing back down to her, Aaroniero tabbed the bloody Nejibana against the side of his head.

"Well, I've got an idea. The little bit of me that's still Kaien Shiba thinks we should at least give you a last request. Oh, and don't say for me to let you go, because you're hemorrhaging from that Nejibana wound in your gut. You're going to die here, I'm just letting you pick how. Nice of me, eh?" He grinned at that last word, just like Kaien. Rukia felt tears coming on, but pushed them back so she could speak again.

"I..."

Aaroniero became serious again, watching her walk towards him and lean against him, her left cheek pressed against his chest while she looked off into the distance. At the fake sun.

"I want to forget."

She spoke it quietly, keeping her stare blank. Blood from her wound was now soaking into Aaroniero's, and his eyes became nearly sad, regretful at it all ending like this. He laid a hand on her shoulder, and she looked up at him with no expression, showing that she was serious. He nodded, moving his horrific left hand into view again. The tentacles writhed, and Rukia instinctually stepped back from them before Aaroniero pushed her forward and into it. The tentacles quickly got to work, exploring her face for a moment before heading for her eyes and down her throat.

There was no screaming. Just choked gags, gurgles, and then nothing at all. The only way to know that she was ever there was to look at the blood sprayed across the floor.

Gin Ichimaru was walking off to where Rukia had last been. The intruders were falling like flies. Was that how the saying went? Ah, who cares. He waltzed into the tower and saw where Aaroniero had battled with Kuchiki, and only saw one there. Aaroniero, toying with a snow white sword.

"Hay Aaroniero, how'd it go then?" Ichimaru called, seeing Aaroniero look up. He was in Kaien Shiba form, sitting in the shadows. With a bit of a smirk, he began to speak as his body began to shift.

"Well, it depends on how you discern victory and defeat, Ichimaru-san."

As he had spoken and reached the word 'victory', Kaien Shiba had turned into a smirking Rukia Kuchiki, now sheathing Sode no Shirayuki. Gin's smile grew, and he waited for Aaroniero to pick up his mask and walk out into the sunlight to put it on before following with a bounce in his step.