I told you my updates would come!
Thanks for the reviews guys, on the definitely really short previous chapter. This one will be more worth. Still very angst-y, but stick around for the ride. If you want immediate relief please check out "Cover your eyes." you'll enjoy ;)
Disclaimer: If I don't' own the characters, can I still own the little birthmarks I put on their naughty parts :D?
So I come home with my boyfriend, cook him jumbo hot dogs, and make him strawberry milk, and he leaves me write so he can watching 'boxing'... nice.
I love his hairy ass anyways, enjoy this chapter, please review!
x
Bella's POV
"So what do you think Bella?" Alice started turning to face me. I slumped naturally in the kitchen chair preparing myself for another of her extravagant plans. She held up two pictures of cars much too expensive for my wallet.
Not for the Cullens though.
"Ruby red Lamborghini, or a pearl Porsche?"
The getaway vehicle, of course it had to be fancy. They're family was just too extravagant, especially my Edward. It was something I was going to have to get used as much as I loathed it.
"Alice I- -"
She cut me off quickly, "Edward likes the Porsche, he says it was less expensive and you'd probably find that a perk." I rolled my eyes. Yes I did, not that it really mattered when you were comparing cars that I and no one else in the small town of forks could afford.
"Couldn't we just have some old vehicle? White and old?." Like I really knew the names of old vehicles, or really any vehicle ever made. But I wanted something nice, simple sweet, like Jacob's Rabbit. A lumped formed in my throat, and my stomach twisted in a knot at the thought of his name. I hadn't seen him 4 months, and it was killing me. I knew I mumbled his name in my sleep almost everything night. I was dreaming about him every night of what could've been among other more disturbing things. Edward had questioned me recently if I was really happy. I thought I was, I really did, but the days creeping towards the wedding were bringing my doubts.
It must be just cold feet.
I just reassured myself, I loved Edward. I wanted to be with him forever, and that was my choice. It was over and done with. Yet the same dreams kept reoccurring every night, or should I say nightmare.
It started with the perfect scene, me and in a beautiful old wedding gown covering in white lace. Edward laid me on the bed, ready to take my life, and bring me into his. There was no going back after that. His teeth dug into my malleable skin on my neck and Jacob yelps his echoing howl. He enters the room with tears streaming down his face muttering "My Bella, please come back, no Bella, it's not too late." Then all I can remember is Edward ripping my Jacob to shreds. I shivered at the disgusting thought.
Edward would never do that, and Jacob would never be around for the scene, so I knew that it was completely ludicrous. Jacob wanted nothing to do with me, he had started the separation early, I was one of them already to him.
It was too late, my choice was made and my wedding was in 4 weeks.
4 weeks.
After that point I'd never see Jacob again, or at least never in pleasant terms. Not that it would be very pleasant lately, with the constant reminder that I was Edward's, Jacob was hard to face. With both had troubles feeling that simple easiness that use to thrive between us. I'd called him at least once every two days, only receiving Billy's aggravated statements on how he was out, or busy or just didn't want to talk. I guess Billy was just helping Jake move on; it was the right thing to do for his son.
I just wanted to talk to him so, so bad.
Not that it made much of a difference.
"But you would look so pretty in these...." Alice moaned gleefully. I had given her permission to take over our wedding. She had full reins and I was only here to do her bidding. I really didn't want any more stress hanging over my shoulders. I really wouldn't have done this without her. It would've been Vegas in and out.
So much easier, without the need or time to worry about cold feet if that's what you wanted to call what this feeling was.
"Fine," I gave in with an exception, "As long as that's all the planning we're doing today."
"Why?" She piped in curiosity. Edward was out of town hunting, and of course she'd be asked to occupy me so I wouldn't feel like he would leave me again. It was really nonsense that he thought of me as that needy. Maybe I liked some time on my own, I hadn't had much recently. Edward was with me every night, and almost every second of the day, between preparing for college and the wedding I barely had a second to breathe. To add, Charlie and Renee were badgering me about anything every second of the day far too excited about college and the wedding. I never had a night just to stretch out on my bed, all alone. Of course I would never tell Edward I wanted that, because I wanted him to wrap his protective arms around me just as bad.
"I'm in a need of a nap Alice, badly." I stated honestly, leaving the future attempted phone call to Jacob out.
"And Jacob?"
"Yea..." I mumbled in an almost whisper, "That too."
I forget, Alice would easily see. It sucked having a sightseeing vampire future sister-in-law.
"It's okay Bella, I understand. Take your time I'll be at home working the decor planning more." She cheered, almost too ecstatic for me to handle.
"Thanks Alice, it means a lot." I smiled embracing her cold petite frame.
"No problem." She replied.
x
Within a couple minutes Alice had left leaving me to crawl, very slowly, to my room and into my slightly lonely bed. I tumbled into the duvet inhaling and deeply and relaxing as my eyes shut. My nightmares and even the pleasant dreams were leaving me shaken and exhausted.
'Wait, Jacob.' My mind pounded.
I flipped over, grabbing the cordless phone. I dialed the memorized numbers, hope still penetrating my body. The phone rang twice.
"Hello?"
"Hey Billy it's Bella." I smiled hoping my voice portrayed the same image.
"Jacob's not here Bella, sorry." He stated nonchalantly.
What a surprise.
"Oh...," I sounded a little hurt as every time, "Well, let him know I called."
"'Sure, Bye Bella."
"By- -"
Click.
I sighed again, god damn you Jacob. Answer the phone, I miss you, I just want to hear your voice, see you, k- -
I cut myself off faster than a bullet. Missing him must have bene bringing on those other feelings I had for him. Those undeniable ones I kept bottled up until the battle of newborns. That kiss still haunted me in my dreams; he had set my body on fire and started the landslide. I burrowed my eyebrows, who was I kidding? I loved him. I was in love with Jacob, but still marrying the person I thought I loved more, Edward. He never stopped me from calling Jacob, but I could see the slight pain in his face when I did around him. Mostly though, because he could see it in me when Billy gave me the same old answer. I didn't think about going to visit because Edward didn't deserve me to run off to La Push, when I was his finance.
But...
I only had 4 weeks.
With that very statement I made up my mind. I know Billy said he wasn't there, but even so he'd at least smell me, maybe come running? Or at very least maybe call back so then I could finally let him know I missed him, loved him and I was sorry.
I knew it was wrong and selfish, but I hoped to hear the same words back from him too.
I threw on an old sweater and a raincoat as I reached the front door, stepping in my rain boots, my keys dangling in my hand. Alice wouldn't stop me, Edward would know, but he wouldn't stop me either. He knew this would happen sooner or later. Climbing into my truck I felt the cool rainy late spring weather, regular old Forks. Turning my truck's ignition, its old engine roared to life. What a great present, best one I've gotten since I came here. I personally yelled myself looking down at my wrist to the two charms dangling on the chain.
No, correction, this charm bracelet was the best present I've gotten.
Chugging along, it took all of 15 minutes to get to La Push, but it seemed like forever to force me out of the cab and waddling my way to the Black's humble front door.
I knock on the ragged screen hearing Billy's voice yell, "Come in." My knees began to shake. I pulled the old screen door open and threw the thicker wood one. Billy sat in front of me, knowledgeably in his wheel chair.
"Bella, I already told you he's not here," He sighed, more understanding coming from his eyes than ever, "You wasted your gas and your time, I'll tell him you were here and that you called okay?"
He seemed to have a semi-sincere smile eying my soaking wet coat only crushing my twisted naught in my stomach more.
"Okay...," I said quietly, "Thanks Billy, and sorry for the trouble."
"It's no problem kid; I just don't like disappointing you. You should get home, it's getting dark and it's miserable out."
"Yea and I should make something for Charlie he's working the late shift." I smiled back, a little more positive this time.
"Okay, I'll let him know you on your way, Bye Bells." Billy grinned. He's only doing the right thing I tried to remind myself.
"Bye, Billy." I went to turn around when a most welcomed voice rang through my ears.
"Wait!"
"Jake!?" Billy seemed almost half as surprised as me.
"JAKE!" I yelped wrapping my arms around him in a frantic manner.
I was expecting his arms to instantly wrap around me his warm body making me feel so complete.
But no - -!
He body stayed stiff and rigid.
"Bella?" His voice seemed forced, hiding something, something was wrong.
Something was wrong with …
My Jacob.
x
Another little cliffy-ish.
Ha, if only Bella knew HOW still she made Jake.
Please, please review if you want more-
FAST.
:D
Love laurs. xo! REVIEW!