I have to say, before I start, thank you so much to all my readers, hearing feed back only gives me motivation to write more
Disclaimer: I own the books.... the hardcover ones ;)
In other news, this is the only chance I'll have this weekend saying, all Saturday it's my dad 50th birthday, and I will be much, MUCH too hammed to every sit on the computer chair without falling over. Plus I have my cheerleading competition Sunday, woo scorpions!
My wrist better not give out backhand springing... ugh. I've already gotten rugburn on my face one too many times.
Anyways enjoy this chapter :) Please review
x
Jacob's POV
Red rock.
Brown rock.
Puddle.
Red rock.
Brown rock.
Puddle.
Uck! Mucky paw.
I shook my left hind leg furiously removing some of the mud weaved between my fur. My head felt slightly dizzy from wandering in a circle for the past 15 minutes.
What?
The only time I did have my own thoughts was when I was in human form, and truthfully, being frustrated in human form sucked. What was a boy – er werewolf- like me to do? At least this walking in circles keeping my eyes on the ground and naming whatever came in my field of vision kept me distracted. That way no matter who phased, my thoughts were simple, and brainless... and most of all annoying of hell.
In the end my pack would become so frustrated with my annoying thoughts and phase right back, unless they had to do patrol.
"Hey mutt face, if you weren't so concentrated on the rock ahead of you have you would've just noticed what I just got a whiff of." Embry smirked to me.
"Shut up." I snapped back. This whole imprinting thing sucked balls. If I didn`t have her, I didn`t have anyone. Well I did, my family and pack and all, but I couldn`t keep my mind straight, I was agitated and truthfully just an ass towards them. In the last little while since I heard Bella and Edward talking about the night they got engaged, I had pushed everyone close to me away.
But most of all, I was completely disregarding my position in the pack as beta, even when my rightful place was as alpha, pack leader. I wasn't ready to be an alpha when I didn't have what mattered most to me, Bella. I wouldn't be held responsible for my packs safety in this state of mine.
I shot my head in the hair inhaling scents for miles mixing the starchy flavours together with the pine forest texture.
Embry was right, there it was.
That addicting scent that drove me wild lingered in the air.
The pull coming over me like withdrawal from a drug it was powerful, raw and needy.
But then I smelt that nasty bitter after breeze, of him. It was like the wasted white powder in the line, so fake, bitter and useless me.
"Oh Bella..." My minded groaned, the scent already taking over my possessive instincts. I started to gallop in a desperate craving for her.
"Ew, Jake." Embry muttered in our heads absorbing my lustful thoughts of anything Bella reluctantly.
"Sorry, can't help it." I said easily, my mood spontaneously lifted. The wind pulling back my slobbery lips quickly sobered me from my drunken, possessed state over Bella. I was heading just so fast, so frantic, I didn't want to miss her. Billy hadn't let me use the phone to call her, disliking the fact I was so desperate and didn't have control of my instincts. Of course Sam had told him everything that I and the rest of the pack were going through.
Especially now in the peak of mating season he thought it was a necessity for my father to know about my hormone seized mind.
But he didn't understand the feeling.
I stopped on the outskirts of the forest and phased back throwing on my shorts. I jogged over to the small old fashioned house my head held high.
Bella's old red truck stood solidly in my driveway, raising the now evident adrenalin even more. I could feel my blood pulsing in my ear, my heart slamming against my chest.
Boy I missed her, my Bella.
Within mere seconds of focussing I could hear their conversation for a quite a distance away, "Okay, I'll let him know you on your way, Bye Bells," I heard Billy's voice, waving her off like normal, only agitating me more. He must have known her scent would've driven me here like a rabid wild fire.
"Bye, Billy." Her melodic voice said faintly, she sounded so discouraged, so crushed. I couldn't let her leave, I spirited now, at my unbelievable supernatural speed. I didn't really care at the moment if anyone around me saw, as long as I saw Bella.
"Wait!" I cried out now opening our screen door seeing her beautiful brown liquid eyes.
"Jake!?" Billy exclaimed.
"JAKE!" She sounded so ecstatic saying my name. My insides purred in victory. Her arms flew recklessly in the air then around me. She was so herself again almost instantly, breakable, clumsy Bella. Nothing has changed, not yet, I hadn't lost her just yet.
Her body crashed against mine, while I was still unprepared.
My body simultaneously ached with a want, a need like no other. This must be what the stupid leech felt, wanting to take then and there. Only my way of 'taking', would be a lot more pleasurable for her.
My body was like stone, almost harder than the bloodsucker's. But surprisingly she seemed so shocked at my reaction; I guess she likes the warm loving me. Heat once again ripped through my core, only making my already rigid body, flex. Ugh, I wanted her so bad with every cell of my body.
'No Jake, no, no, no! Control!' My mind chanted over and over, my breathing slowly returning to normal.
I mustered up enough control to speak and not attach her body clenched to mine in such a pleasurable way, "Bella?"
Her eyes seemed so threatened, so hurt. I wish I could've wrapped my arms around her as easily as she could mine. I just didn't want her to see how weak, and desperate I was for her body.
I cleared my throat, giving speech another attempt, "Bella." I stated more or less robotic finally wrapping my arms around her in return.
"Jake where the hell have you been?! I missed you so much." She gleamed nuzzling her head deep into my chest. Her head sat, inches below even my pecks, which now where quite developed. I couldn't help myself as I felt my hand naturally brush against the top of her head, smoothing out some of the standing hairs.
I cleared my throat again in an attempt, "Erm, busy, but I missed you too." My voiced sounded convincing; well it was the truth. I wrapped my arms around tighter around her, inhaling deeply.
It was self-torture...
It drove me insane, literally.
I couldn't understand how I hadn't phased by now, or throw her on the ground in front of Billy.
Whatever this self control was, I was so, so thankful. I could only hope it lasted.
But- - I could NOT take chances. I couldn't hurt my Bella.
"I'll leave you two alone," Billy said wisely then adding, "Jake, control yourself I've talked to Sam lately I know what's going on." His voice sounded so warning. He probably couldn't help it; Bella was his best friend's son too.
"Yea, sure...." I muttered hiding my eyes under my ragged hair. I had released Bella from my grasp, much to my disliking. I could tell her body didn't appreciate it either. I could even smell disappointment in her breath without our touch.
She raised her eyebrow at Billy's comment. She was too cunning, and intuitive. Just not in the beneficial ways. She always knew about the troublesome stuff, and never the stuff I wanted her to figure out on her own so desperately. That and Billy had been much too blunt with his comment, Bella couldn't help but try to guess something was up.
"Let's go to beach Bella, My garage has erm- fumes in it." She smiled at that idea, agreeing too easily. I knew I couldn't be in a house or enclosed area with her right now. Even though her scent was so pleasantly intoxicating, it was dangerous.
So technically, my stated about fumes, was right.
But these fumes were just a lot more potent and destructive than any other. It would lead to my pressing her over my rabbit and ripping her jeans down.
Ugh... What I wonderful scene that wou- -
Stop Jake, control yourself.
I was like a kid high on candy, the same hyperactive thoughts occurring over and over.
Walking side by side in silence, never once awkward as our feet pressed into the first beach sands. I waited until she took a seat at the log, our log. It was filled with so many memories from our childhood for pleasanter times where this whole werewolf vs. Vampire situation wasn't messing with the two of us.
"So, why did you come? Isn't your leech gonna flip? Your marriage is in a month." I said almost mockingly. I really could try to be pleasant right now, at least I wanted to. Seeing her reaction to the carefree Jacob- her Jacob would make my dad, but also jeopardize my control over myself.
"Don't mention the wedding please." She interjected curtly. Her eyes burned into mine screaming the uncertainty with the upcoming event.
I nodded trying to relax the hard line my mouth had formed.
She shifted her eyes from mine taking a deep breath to help her continue.
"Why else do I come? I wanted to see you Jake, since when was it a crime. Were you busy today or something? If so I'll just go home." Bella looked over, her captivating eyes catching mines. Her voice tapered off sounding hurt at the idea of leaving. That was everything but what I wanted her to do.
I just had to love like this.
So full of complications, and twisted meaningless words.
"NO!," I almost shouted, "I mean, no." I finished regaining my vocal cords. She grinned at my disposition. Her lips curving only the slightest as her cheeks filled with colour. They were so rosy and alive; I couldn't stand for her to die- or change into a dreaded bloodsucker. The colour in her cheeks belonged there permanently.
"Okay good."She smiled sweetly taking my hand to pull me down beside her.
"I really missed you Jake. You... should've answered all the calls it's been too long." She was right; it had been too long, months at that. Sadly though, I spent every day with some thought of Bella and I dancing along my mind.
I was dying, eating the words out of her hand.
"I- - Bella, you can't keep saying that. You're getting married." I almost growled. I hated my attitude right now, but I really couldn't help it. She had no idea what this was really all about.
"Why not...?" Her eyes beamed lightly. She seemed so innocent and clueless, and she knew much better.
"Because you seem to enjoy making this harder on me..." I mumbled unconsciously not reviewing my words tumbling through my mouth. It was so hard to lie to Bella, my imprint. Some things just flew out through my mouth without a second thought. I was thankful I was able to hide the fact she was my imprint for so long now.
That kiss, so long ago in which Bella punched me in the face.
Then the one at the battle of newborns, her lips actually giving into mine. It was the most amazing rush that had ever coursed through my body.
Her face crumpled at that comment, "Jake, nothing's changed I'm sorry, you know I don't want it to be this way."
Yes she did, she wanted to keep up the facade. She thought she still wanted the perfect life as a perfect rich vampire with the bloodsucker. It pained me that she was so fooled.
"Well it is. At least there's always pleasure in misery. You're at least happy." I sneered trying to eliminate all body contact with her. Her body cringed again. I hated myself purely for my thoughts, and words.
She didn't deserve this.
She was being pulled back and forth like a ragdoll. I was going to be guilty when we-Edward and I- tore Bella's arm off. She would be broken again.
"Jake..." She sighed, her hand creeping over to my hand holding my long body up against the wood. My body quivered at her cold hands. I didn't move mine, even though mine now craved to touch more of her.
"Jake," She stated this time a little more firmly, "What did Billy mean earlier?"
Fuck.
No.
Don't go there.
Bella.
Damn it Billy.
"Nothing." I muttered darkly.
"Liar, tell me. You always do. Is it something the Cullens should be worried about?" She instantly started questioning. Her body seemed full of fear now.
"No... Bella I i-"
No.
She had to realise it own her own, you promised yourself.
My hair hung over my face, now hiding the tears coming to my eyes. If she kept doing this, I would end up telling her and that would tear me apart. That was the one thing I didn't want. She needed to have a choice regardless if she made the wrong one. No one deserves to be told they won't be happy unless they do something against their will.
"Bella," I tried to sound angry, "I think you should leave now and god damn leave me and this tribe alone. You're one of them now, a filthy blood sucker. Things haven't and will never change."
Her face twisted in agony. My heart snapped. I couldn't stand to look in her eyes; they were too warped in misery. I couldn't stop mentally kicking myself for the words that fell out of my mouth.
"Jak- - b- ." She couldn't make out any words. They only choked out with her tears.
"Just go." I said ripping my hand from hers and lurching up. My stomach felt sick with a twisted nausea, my eyes burning with now evident salt tears. I turned to leave.
"Bye." I finally breathed walking away, refusing to turn back in hug her, refusing to look back, refusing to even inhale her intoxicating scent. If I did I was a goner, I would cave and give into to everything I had promised myself I wouldn't.
x
That should be good I think.
Yea, I'm horrible but it's worth it :)
Either way, I'm exhuasted from cheerleading today, so leave me lots of sweet reviews ;)
PS: I did my hand spring woooooooooooooooo who's the champ ahahahah!
Review lovelies!
Love laurs xo!