Disclaimer: I wonder how many times I've written about not owning something …?
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x
Jacob's POV
I hadn't spoken a word to anyone since after I had spoken with Bella, but phasing once was all it took for the whole pack to know every detail. I laid in my bed my hand through my thick dark hair, a deep frown never leaving my face.
How could I hurt her like that?
You did exactly the opposite of what you wanted to do, yet urgh
Idiot, idiot, idiot.
I chanted smacking my head repeatedly.
Seeing Bella's angelic eyes crushed like that, it killed me. All I wanted to do there was kiss her, again and again then tell her I really did love her more than the world. Also tell her that soon she would feel the same way, and wouldn't be able to resist me-well I hoped, a lot. But what was the point of that, people are supposed to fall in love, and stuff isn't just supposed to be told and done. Regardless how well I knew we could only fight against the attraction for so long, it just wasn't something I wanted to experience.
What if it did stay this way...?
My heart snapped once again having the doubt.
What if I did tell her?
And she just told me it didn't matter. I know she'd feel guilty, knowing I would be alone for the rest of my life. In all truth, she would feel that way too. Edward may make her happy now, sweeping her off her feet, but there will always be a place in her soul empty without me; that was how imprinting worked. Until she realizes and accepted that, were stuck, in the middle of this love triangle. One bonded by Bella's god damn luck, and fate.
Not to mention weird attraction for danger.
Gur ,DFLjkdfn....
...
My stomach.
I rolled to my side embracing the fact I hadn't eaten since before I said those nasty words to Bella. At that, I had said that yesterday and it was now about 11am the next day. I personally kicked myself again for that nightmare. But the important thing at the moment was my high temperature body needed some nutrients, or I'd really burn up to a little skeleton.
I sighed again; Bella was such a good cook. What I would do now a douzen of her perfect fried eggs, mhmm.
....
JHB fcdsmncalh....
My stomach rumbled again to my frustration.
Sure Emily could cook worthwhile, but putting up with that crowd of people, constantly nagging fighting over scraps wasn't worth it. Right now, I'd settle with a biggest bowl of cereal to escape the group of gangly werewolves. With that I threw myself up sauntering to the kitchen, passing the living room with Billy sitting in his old wheel chair watching some game. I didn't bother focusing even though I could hear the illustrators ranting on.
Step one: grab the salad bowl.
No need to even stretch for the top shelf, saying I pretty much was the top shelf.
Step two and three: Grab cereal and fill bowl.
I topped off the large salad bowl to the rim with golden grams, filling partially with milk. With the biggest spoon in the draw, I began to mow down the crunchy snack walking back to my small room and bed.
I sat in my bed shoveling the food into my mouth with satisfaction.
SMASH!
I jumped back slightly startled at the lamp laying shattered on the floor, and my friend hanging off the window.
What the fuck!?
Quil was crawling through the partially opened window.
"What the fuck, you just broke my lamp." I snapped.
"Ahh, just shut up and help me in." He smirked still struggling through the small half open window. I placed my bowl of cereal on the ground yanking Quil with ease- and his discomfort- through the window on to me floor.
BANG!
He lay splattered against the floor, starring angrily at me.
"You're an ass hole, and the stupidest fuck I've ever met." He growled sitting up facing me.
"Shut up." I barked.
I really didn't have the patience for anyone right now. Especially Quil, who now was attached to him mate- especially because of mating season- Claire every second of the day. Not that he was horny as fuck like me. It was just being away from her at this time made him feel uneasy.
I knew that feeling....
"No seriously listen." He hissed.
"What could you have to say that is so important and relevant?" I rolled my eyes with agitation.
"Well maybe if weren't so obsessed with not taking down Bella at the moment you'd have a clear thought in your head." He exclaimed, bringing my anger to a boiling point. If he didn't realize, that very request was not exactly possible with all Bella's pheromones rubbing their sweet asses in my nose. I snorted loudly at his comment.
He grabbed my shirt around my throat pulling me up to his face.
"You didn't see her after you left her on the ground there." He snarled loudly. My stomach dropped. He saw her...?
I sat in silence my eyes pooling with darkness.
My Bella... what did I do to you?
A smile grew on Quil's face, amused at my reaction.
"Show me." I snapped back. No wonder he was the only one not phasing last night. He wanted to hide this from me.
"Why should I?" He smirked. He knew he couldn't say no to my actions, but it wouldn't stop him from questioning.
"Because, she's my mate and I need to see ... need to see whether it was worse than when Sam found her after him." I replied harshly. I growled at the mention of what Edward had done to her. It was easier to like your enemy if he didn't go along with hurting the one thing I was living for and taking her away from me. She may be with him, but she was still my imprint. Life partners, fate, and forever were words that could only be associated with imprinting, the bond being so strong.
Quil smiled feverishly and crooked, "I was hiding the bushes when I heard crying."
"I told you, show me. Follow." I ordered.
I stormed out of my room, throwing my shirt on the floor on my way out. Quil followed my actions. We sprinted out the front door, without saying so much as a good bye to Billy. We didn't need to, he knew where we were going, and he knew we would be safe- we were werewolves after all.
We sprinted in opposite directions for a moment, for curtsy of changing matters, both meeting again in our wolf forms. The phasing felt awesome, like my insides ripped free and stretched further than pleasure took them. It was one of the only things enjoyable without Bella around.
Quil's thoughts quickly played into mine.
A sniffling was heard, of a familiar voice, someone close to the pack.
But unfamiliar.
His curiosity got the best of him, as he peaked through the bushes, seeing the brown hair Bella collapsed on her knees. Tears streamed down her face like no tomorrow, over and over wailing until her spine gave out her body lying across her knees still crying.
"I love you Jacob Black." Bella whispered, but our ears clearly heard
"Stop." I hissed phasing back, getting out his head, and the memory. I held my head still in disgust.
Throwing on pants quickly, Quil doing the same, he looked at me with sympathetic eyes.
"I know you need her, but you gotta play dirty right now Jacob. You only have so much time left before she's gone, and I don't know it will be the same once she's... one of them." Quil said gently. I nodded in agreement, still in disgust on how Bella looked. Before when Sam had found her, she looked lost like she was all alone.
But this was different.
Loneliness didn't rush through her face anymore, heartbreak did. I knew I shouldn't hide it from her anymore, why she felt the way she did. It was torture. Even if she stayed with the leech, at least she'd understand her heart to the best of her ability.
"I know I have to tell her, no more lies." I replied turning back to the house. Quil sauntered off in the opposite direction.
"Thanks." I murmured, no longer in his hearing range. If I had stayed a second longer, I would've seen the heart break I caused her. I could've shown her it doesn't have to be this way.
Bella... I love you.
I'll won't wait until that blood sucker leaves you, I'll show you, that you are mine.
x
I lay back on my bed, exhaling and inhaling, watching the rising and fall of my chest. It was now late in the evening, the moon rose in the sky hours ago. Without checking the clock, it seemed about 11 o'clock.
I had spent the rest of the day, eating all of Billy's casserole, and planning. Planning wasn't even enough to describe it. I was completely fantasizing the word I'd say to her, the kiss I'd bestow on her.
The sex.
RING!
Oh damn the sex.
I ignored the phone. Billy could get it; I was too busy admiring Bella's imaginary body.
RING!
Any other time of the year, I wouldn't be so... desperate to fantasies like this. But imaging her pale beautiful body gently placed across my bed, it was irresistible. At least Edward hadn't seen that yet. I knew, despite how long they had been together, and how many kisses and nights they spent together, her clothes stayed perfectly on her body.
I would be the first one to take those off.
Hopefully.
That blood sucker couldn't compete with the pleasure I could give her. Kissing up and down her neck, playfully teasing her nipples, then moving down to her- -
"Jacob!" Billy yelled through the house, startling me out of my pleasant thoughts.
"Coming." I mumbled darkly, it was probably Emily, or one of my sisters. Billy came into view when I entered the living room.
"It's Edward," He stated bitterly.
Speak of the devil.
I took the phone hastily from him placing it to my ear.
"Hello?" I gritted my teeth in the speech.
"Tell the leech, his calls are not welcome, I don't care if you in love with his girlfriend- erm fiancée Jake." Billy snapped looking older than ever in his anger.
His voice came through the phone line collectively, "That won't be an issue. We'll be leaving in a matter of weeks."
I shuddered, yes I only had weeks to keep Bella here or else she'd be drained of her life.
"What do you want leech?" I snarled. Billy left the room at that point.
"Meet me out side of the border; follow my scent across the river. We need to talk, it's important." Edward stated bitterly.
"Fine. When?" I replied just as coldly.
"Now."
"I'll be there."
Time to play dirty.
Who said reading a werewolves mind was a good thing.
x
"Jacob." Edward called as I was approaching his nauseating scent. It was an often a fuel for anger, but tonight, I was able to further play in this little triangle.
"And you forced me out here... why?" I questioned bitterly
"Not for your games." He hissed hearing my last thought.
"Oh really?" I laughed.
"What did you say to Bella to hurt her?" He demanded.
My head fumed again. What do you think leech? She's with you and it kills me being by her side knowing she'll be going home at night to be besides you. Plus, I can't act normal around her at this time.
"What time?" He snapped curiously. I laughed again this time speaking at loud.
"Any time really... mostly now though, I just wanna take her away from your cold hands." I could see him flinch at the thought of Bella's hands roaming up and down my firm body like in my keen imagination.
"She said you acted different, what has changed to make you push her away now. Of all time before she's about to leave you forever. Regardless how much I hate how you love her so, and she feels the same way in return, I can't let her be unhappy. She needs to finish the life she was meant to live the best she can."
So never?
No vampire red-eyed Bella, joy to me.
She needs to live with me, her imprint.
"She won't be happy." I said darkly.
His eyes were wide with shock, "What was that?"
"She- won't - be - ha-ppy." I said mockingly.
"No wolf, your thoughts. Imprint? I thought..." He seemed in a daze at the latest information.
"You heard it clear, I imprinted on her when I first saw her. I just didn't say anything, I wanted to give her a choice. I just know now there's nothing you can do, because eventually she'll come back to me. I'm perfect for her in every way. Ways you can never compete with." I stated confidently. For the guy who didn't have the girl, I seemed pretty sure in myself.
He seemed deep in thought.
"Jacob, I am not going to fight over her like you're prepared to. But I can see your reasoning a little more clearly now." His voice remained so calm.
"I'm not fighting, but I do have to try. It doesn't always come easy. Bella's stubborn, and until you truly show her something, her mind will be made up." Edward wasn't bad, beyond the fact he had my Bella he was a decent guy. I couldn't help but temporarily understand why Bella was so attached to the well worded vampire. He was listening and respectively at that, it was more than I could ask for.
"Yes, I know firsthand. Right now thankfully she is stubbornly stuck on me." He sighed with this.
What happens when she realizes the truth?
What happens when she want what I can give her leech?
"Then I'll leave you two alone, I just didn't realize until now I only had so much time. I really did wish for eternity." I felt bad for the blood sucker, he was honourable.
"She said you're name, while kissing me. That's why I'm here; I wanted to know... if she had done something I couldn't see. I wouldn't be mad, just for her happiness sakes" He explained.
My heart skipped a beat at the thought of Bella saying my name-and the doubt he had about her loyalty.
"No... we only talked as always." I replied.
My thoughts exploded with possibilities.
Ignore, ignore.
You are perfectly fine, no dirty thoughts.
"Having trouble controlling yourself mutt?" He smirked, I knew it was ironic cause he could have what my fantasies were about.
"Shut up..." I growled.
God damn spring.
"You're not always this bad. I know firsthand how much of a temptation Bella is, so what's spring to do with it?"
"Mating season, it's hard to spend the last of my time with her right now. I don't want to upset her." I sighed honestly. It was no use hiding it, he'd read my thoughts anyways. I beyond hiding it from anymore- that was one of the biggest challenges I had endured.
"You shoed her away just to hide your worse side?" He snorted with a cocky laugh.
"Yea... But I'm not gonna let it take me away from her any longer." Bella would have to realize it, regardless how guilty it might make her feel. She deserved to know. I wasn't going to hide the truth anymore.
"I don't think a simple fact like that would change her mind. But I must go, she's waiting for me. I promised I'd be there soon." He waved turning to run hearing my last thought.
There soon?
"Her bedroom, where I am every night"
My teeth gritted.
You'll see.
Bella is my imprint and it was only a matter of time before I would have her all to myself. No more sharing or heartbreak.
Only Bella and I.
My sweet Bella.
x
I hope that was longer?
It didn't take me very long to write....
The sad excuse for a love sick plot -or notttt bwuahaha, so stay tuned.
PS: Yes.. I put golden grams as the cereal because it's my favourite... it's absolutely fantastic munchies lmao.
REVIEW, and you'll get you're Bella x Jacob fluff faster ;)