SSD: (Paces in cell) Damn it, we're in this situation because of you, ya know.
AAF: (Slaps SSD)
SSD: OW! What the hell was that for?
AAF: Well don't blame me for ACME's obsession over you! (Points at SSD) Now let's settle down and take our pill- WHAT THE HELL, THERE ISN'T ANYMORE!
SSD: (snaps head around to face AAF and snatches pill bottle) WHAT? NOOOOO!! Now what are we going to do?
AAF: (Pulls SSD's hair) WILL YOU SHUT UP NOW! WE GOTTA GET OUT OF HERE!
SSD: YOU DON'T THINK I KNOW THAT! (Pulls at bars covering window) Now would be a good time for HER to show up!
AAF: WELL I'M TIRED OF HEARING YOUR VOICE! (Pulls off the bars of the cell door) Wow cool! (Randomly pulls off the other bars in the cell)
SSD: (SLAP!) Snap out of it, we to stick to stay sane as long as possible…WITHOUT OUR BELOVED PILLS!
Hayate: Uhh…what happened to my love? (Gulps as he hesitantly walks out of the jail.)
Go: Yikes. (backs away slowly) Uhh, evacuate from the psycho ladies immediately.
Shin: (reluctantly follows Go)
M-Sasame: (weirded out by AAF's unusual behavior)
SSD&AAF: Oh no you don't! (Goes ahead and begins to drag them away as Shin follows)
Guard (Who happens to be Kakashi): Huh? Oi, how'd you get out? Those bars were resistant to any effort you could use, SSD.
SSD: (pulls out secret weapon) I didn't want to do this, I was saving it so I could purge myself of HER lusts, but desperate times call for desperate measures. (Whips out a little orange book) The latest in the Icha Icha Paradise series, personally autographed by the author and isn't due to be released til next month.
Kakashi: (eye widens and tries to grab book. SSD keeps it out of reach)
SSD: Promise to be quiet?
Kakashi: (serious) Not a soul will know. (Takes book and begins to eagerly read.)
SSD: Good, do the disclaimer for us.
Kakashi: Wha? Oh, sure. (continues reading)
Disclaimer: SilverSerpentDragon and animearlinefreak do not own Pretear Inuyasha or any other anime character that appears.
(SSD, AAF and Company leave while camera focuses on Kakashi, an evil glint in his eye)
oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
Shippo charged into the camp with a furious Hayate quite literally on his tail. The kitsune kit attempted to duck behind Kagome's prone form, but the wind knight snagged him painfully by the tail. The orange haired young demon struggled in his grasp and tried in vain to escape his clutched. Inuyasha, curious as to what the commotion was, decided to make his presence known.
"Oi, fem-boy, what'd the runt do this time?" The gruff hanyou asked.
"Hayate and Himeno were-MMPH!" A large hand clamped over his mouth and the blue haired knight glared at the kitsune in his grasp.
"Say a word, and I have me a new fox fur scarf." His sky blue eyes had grown dark with anger and embarrassment. A small pink tinge crossed his cheeks as Himeno wandered in.
Miroku glanced between the pretear and knight, sensing the tension between the two. A knowing look crossed his face and he nodded to himself. 'Those two have a lot of issues to work out. Now to Sango,' Miroku began to leer at the taijiya.
Sango noticed this and her hand twitched over Hiraikotu's strap, but she remembered the beads of subjugation. "Roll over, Miroku."
Kagome had awoken due to the racket caused by Miroku's back hitting the ground, but had been succumbed to Kouga's loving attack.
"Kagome are you okay? Is there anything you need to help you sleep tonight?" Kouga snuggled against Kagome's bosom as the poor defenseless miko sat frozen in her place.
A growl was heard from the left side of the campsite as a very irritated hanyou marched up to the wolf youkai, snatching the dazed miko, whom was speechless. The blush on Kagome's face brightened, when her beloved's arms wrapped around her waist.
"What the hell are you doing with MY KAGOME?" Inuyasha's rage grew with the last words spoken, unknown that he revealed a secret he wished to remain silent.
An awkward silence hovered over the gang in a thick fog. It was later disrupted by the laughter that broke after a few seconds. The poor half demon blushed at the embarrassment he was faced with, as well as the lecture he would be hearing by a certain monk about how much of a baka he is. Everyone laughed at his stupidity, even his brother wore a devilish smirk on his face as he thought of blackmailing his little brother in the future.
Hojo stared at the scene that was taking place before him. He was appalled by what turn of events were taking place one after the other. 'Damn it, first I arrive in this strange and exotic land, then I have this monster trying to steal Kagome away from me, and now this pointy eared beast wants her too! Hmm…I need to fight back or else I'm afraid to see what the outcome might be for me.' Without another word or long ass paragraph, he took the already red tinted face girl away from the red faced teenager.
"DON'T TOUCH HER!!!" Hobo heisted when all different shapes and sizes of eyes were staring into his scared brown eyes. He gulped as he tried to regain his composure. "I mean, she is still injured after all from the accident."
Another silence occurred for the rather strange group. A snap of a twig in the distance was a signal for the three males to latch onto any part of the girl they could get a hold of. Hojo had a hold of Kagome's left arm, Inuyasha had a hold of Kagome's right, as for Kouga he had a hold of Kagome's right leg. The unfortunate fifteen year old, year was hurting in new spots now. Now the young priestess understood how Laffy Taffy felt when it was being stretched out.
The battle for capturing Kagome was set aside when a very temperamental sound knight strode over to the trio of boys, pulling the frightened girl away from the dog fight. Giving the boys a glare that would send anyone crawling under a rock, he searched through Kagome's overstuffed bag for a special kind of jewelry. About ten minutes of searching he emerged from the faded yellow bag with black pearl beads and white fangs.
Every male in the group, except for Sesshomaru, cringed at the innocent looking beads, which weren't so innocent once they were around a victim's neck. Sasame grinned evilly at the pale faces. Turning his back to the ones he wasn't interested in, his violet eyes stared at a pair of medium shaded blue eyes.
Kouga froze when he saw that Sasame was staring directly at him with an evil glint in his eyes. Slowly, he backed away from the sound knight when his back hit against a tree. Sweat beaded his forehead as a scream burst from his tan lips.
"NOOOOOOOOOOO!" Birds flown out of their perches from the tree Kouga was up against, as a cry came soon after. Slumping over in defeat, he stared down at the spot where something new was placed.
The beads of subjugation reflected back at Kouga with mockery. He narrowed his Copenhagen blue eyes at the smirking sound knight. Sasame's smirk widened and sealed Kouga's fate with six words.
"Kagome, care to do the honors?"
"Down, boy!"
WHAM! echoed through the forest. The wolf prince dazedly looked up at the stars, a throbbing pain spreading through his back. The silence was broken by Inuyasha's maniacal laughter.
"BWAHAHA! Look who's eating dirt now, wolf boy!"
Feeling the spell wearing off, Kouga launched himself at the gleeful hanyou. "Urusai, inukuro!" He landed a solid punch to Inuyasha's jaw.
"Damn you! Take this! Sankontessou!" Yellow blades of energy streaked through the air from his claws. Their fight was cut short abruptly by Kagome uttering the dreaded words.
"Inuyasha, osuwari! Kouga, lay down!"
WHAM! WHAM!
"Grumph mrph kagrne!" (translation: What the hell, Kagome?") Inuyasha grumbled around the dirt in his mouth.
"K-Kagome, why do you torment me so? Isn't Inukuro enough?" Kouga groaned as his back exploded in pain again.
The group around them chuckled, minus Sesshoumaru. Sesshoumaru, on the other hand, was not amused. Their stench was starting to irritate his sensitive nose. The taiyoukai decided that it was prudent to inform the two that they needed to bathe. He cleared his throat to gain his half brother and the wolf prince's attention.
"Your stench is becoming a problem; there is a hot spring nearby. Use it."
The girls exchanged secretive glances and grins. Himeno and Kagome readied the cameras behind their backs as the other men decided they should bathe as well. Kagome opened her backpack to gather the bathing materials and handed it to the guys.
"Here are some bathing supplies for your bath and-" Kagome reached so far into her bag that she managed to flash a few guys who were looking ( and earning a few "roll over" and "heel" commands in the process). When Kagome surfaced from her over packed bag there were a few guys on the ground and some with faces as red as a tomato. Ignoring the awkwardness in the atmosphere she was feeling, she approached Kei and handed him the item she retrieved from her bag. "This is for you."
Kei stared at the purple bottle in his hand. His yellow eyes lighten as he launched himself on the surprised girl. "Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you!"
"Oro?" the raven haired girl squeaked in confusion as she was practically molested by Kei. "Hey get off or I'll get the beads of subjugation out again!"
"Eep!" The light knight leaped back and hid behind Miroku who sweat dropped. 'Hmm, nice firm back—great Kami! What am I thinking!'
Inuyasha grumpily pulled himself from the ground and jumped into a nearby tree. "Well, I'm gonna stay here, you guys go on ahead."
A look of realization crossed Kagome's face. "Tonight's the new moon isn't it?"
"Huh?" The Pretear gang collectively asked.
Sesshoumaru smirked slightly, glee welling inside as he began to anticipate seeing his half brother's face when he realizes that Sesshoumaru already knew of his human night. He unsheathed the Tokijin. "Get down from there, foolish little brother." Everyone began to back away slowly from the Western lord. Rin ran up to Sesshoumaru and tugged on his pant leg.
"Sesshoumaru-sama, why are you attack Inuyasha-ji-chan?" She turned her face upwards in a puppy dog pout.
"I am not attacking him, Rin, I am merely coercing him to come down. Like so." Sesshoumaru proceeded to strike the tree with his blade lightly and sliced right through it.
Inuyasha's eyes nearly popped out of his head for two reasons. One was that he couldn't believe Sesshoumaru would do such a petty thing. The other was the pain that came with the transformation. He flailed his arms and landed face down on the ground, human. Everyone winced at the rough landing. Miroku rubbed his nose in sympathy having had his human body abused in such a way before. Shippo walked up Inuyasha's still body and poked it with a nearby stick.
"Is he dead?" Poke. Poke. Poke.
The black haired Inuyasha lashed out and grabbed the offending object. "Cut that out, gaki!" He proceeded to whap him on the head.
Kagome, reluctant to hit him after such a bad fall, whipped out her halisen. She walked over to the now human hanyou and whacked him. "Quit beating up Shippo! Go and take your bath!"
The Pretear gang gaped at all that happened in a matter of a minute. One reason was why had Inuyasha's hair changed color and why the heck was the young priestess not being as cruel as she normally would be or at least that what they thought.
"Uhh…what the heck just happened and why does Inuyasha look different?" Go questioned. The others nodded their heads as well wanting to know the whole truth about it.
Inuyasha "feh'd" as he took a towel and some bath products and headed to the hot springs without a word uttered. The Inuyasha gang sighed at his typical manner, including Kouga, excluding Sesshoumaru. They all sat down at the campfire and examined the situation dealing with the new moon, Inuyasha's half demon/half human side, and why Kagome was more particularly nice.
After the explaining everyone nodded their head as the guys stood up and walked to the hot springs near by, where the hanyou turned human took off.
Jaken squawked in indignation as Sesshoumaru lead the others to the hot spring. "Milord! Please do not leave me behind with these bra-AH!" The gama youkai was cut off abruptly by Rin pushing past him.
"Sesshoumaru-sama! Don't hurt Inuyasha-ji-chan, please!"
"Hn." The guys were soon out of sight in the bushes.
Jaken flailed and eventually managed to throw Rin's arm out of his face. "No! Milord don't leave your faithful servant behind!"
"Come on, Jaken-sama! Let's go pick some flowers!" Rin began to drag the gama youkai towards a nearby flower patch. As they passed Mannen, Rin stopped and cocked her head to the side. She smiled a happy smile "Does Mannen-kun want to come with Rin and Jaken?"
Mannen blushed lightly and slipped his hand into hers, allowing himself to be dragged along. Himeno "aww'ed" and snapped a picture to capture the moment. The Pretear quickly regained her senses and faced the other two girls.
"Well, shall we get going?"
The girls nodded in ascent and Kagome handed Sango the third camera. Just as they were creeping away to spy on the guys, a rush of wind blew from behind them. Kagome turned around and gasped in fear.
"Kagura! What do you want?" the miko asked.
Sango jumped in front of her near sister holding a kodachi across her forearm. "Stay behind me, Kagome!"
Kagura tucked her feather back into her bun and placed her fan into her obi. "Calm down, I didn't come here for a fight."
"I don't know you, but from their reactions you must be a bad guy- er, girl!" Himeno fell into a martial arts stance.
"I'm here to get away from Naraku and his damn mate. The noise is…disturbing to say the least." The wind witch shuddered in horror.
The girls joined her in a collective shudder at the disgusting thought. Sympathy was immediately found in the eyes of the teenage girls.
"Well, we were about to go to the hot springs, wanna join us?" Kagome asked.
Kagura shrugged her shoulders. "Sure, I need to get Naraku's disgusting musk off of me and my clothes."
The teens exchanged evil looks and Himeno and Sango latched onto her arms. They proceeded to drag the now startled wind witch to the springs. Rin waved good bye and went back to picking flowers with Mannen and Shin while Hajime was their mannequin for the flower crowns and necklaces. Much to the water knight's chagrin, Rin had brushed out his hair and styled it like Kagome's. Jaken bemoaned his misfortune, to be rewarded with an icicle to the butt. At that time, Kohaku wandered onto the scene and caught sight of his "maiden".
"Hajime, my beautiful maiden!"
Said "maiden" froze in fear and turned wide, terrorized eyes to the source of his fear. The last male taijiya walked up, grasped his hand in his and kissed it. Hajime stood in mortification while Mannen and Shippo cracked up behind him while Mannen tried to use Rin as a support.
"Hey, 'Lady' Hajime! Why don't you and your 'boyfriend' take a walk together?" Mannen snickered.
Hajime, still frozen in fear, could not object as Kohaku placed his arm in his and left. Now that the water knight left, Rin and Shin began to giggle. Mannen snuck behind Rin and placed a flower crown on her head. The girl blushed and looked away shyly. She noticed a butterfly and began to chase it with Shippo following close behind.
oooooooooooooooooo
Meanwhile with the girls……….
They arrived at the hot springs a bit away from the naked guys bathing. Positioning their cameras for the perfect angle, they anxiously awaited for something exciting to happen. The wind demon that was dragged along was embarrassed beyond words. The only thing she could do was drool at the handsome naked guys, especially a certain Lord of the Western lands.
The boys on the other hand were a having a conversation about the girl's personalities. At the moment they were having a discussion about women and PMS. During this time the girls were hearing the boys, wanted to give their hiding place away by beating the living hell out of them, considering how little did they know of the woman's body.
"So do you think that the girls going through PMS?" Go asked. He leaned against a bolder, exposing his light tan body, oblivious to the flashes coming a distance not to far off from them.
A few of the guys turned in that direction, when they saw the bushes move. Ideas sprang into the heads as they thought of exposing whoever was over to come out.
"Yeah, I agree. Himeno's been more bitchy than usual." Hayate turned back to the bushes as he saw the thick bushes move more wilder than the first time.
The girls tried to refrain the tulip head from launching out of the bush and killing the handsome knight of wind.
"Do you want to give away our position?" Kagura whispered not wanting to be caught spying on Sesshomaru. However another voice interrupted their arguing.
"Che, if the girls were on their rags, than Kagome must be on Menopause." Inuyasha floated on his back unknown that there was a tree about ready to collapse from righteous female rage.
"Now, now, Inuyasha, surely you don't mean to insult Kagome-sama's age." Miroku briefly dunked his head under the steaming water.
"Honestly, Inuyasha, I do not see why you bother with ningen women, even if these ningen can be as fierce as any demoness on her menstrual cycle."
The final straw broke. Neglecting their Polaroid cameras and pictures, they raced out of the bushes leaving behind a trail of smoke. Piercing red eyes flashed at the unsuspecting boys in the hot springs. Fear shown in each of their eyes and they rushed to find another location but alas, they were caught in a trap.
Several small rocks were neatly piled near the water when each girl tripped on the tiny rocks causing them to fall into the hot springs with the guys in it. Kagome and Sango cursed in their head for realizing that they were the ones that left the rocks there in the first place.
Kagome tumbled into the water landing flat on her chest and into the arms of her savior Inuyasha who stood in the warm water dazed and confused. Sango flew into Miroku and lay gasping for breath when her solar plexus hit the hentai houshi's shoulder. Himeno landed with Go catching her instead of Hayate. Hayate was mortified by the idea of his Himeno landing in bird brain's grasp. Inside his head he thought of ways to kill the fire knight later on that night. Kagura who tried to keep her balance hooked onto someone's body to keep her balance. That person was Sesshomaru. Hobo, the most ignored in the story, screamed like a girl when the girls landed.
The guys were shocked and also worried for the nasty fall the girls suffered. Sesshoumaru looked down at the woman latched onto his chest with a bored expression, though a very thin line of pink ran over his cheeks. No one but Kagura noticed and she blushed a bright pink before hastily getting off of him.
After five minutes passed in awkward silence, the girls remember exactly why they ran out of their hiding place and tumbled into the spring. Removing themselves from the guys, their bangs covered their faces as they walked away out of the water and toward the mountain part of the forest where they found a bolder two times the size of the other bolder they hurled at Homo.
Grinning wickedly at the guys, with one big heave (especially with a demoness on their side) the giant bolder rolled down the steep hill it was on as the boys stared at the boulder with wide eyes.
"SHIT, WHAT THE FUCK! I'M OUT OF HERE!" Go shouted as he tried to push the others out of his way.
Sesshomaru, being the smartest one, orbed away before the bolder hit the water. Kei and Sasame teleported away in just in the nick of time. The other men weren't so fortunate seeing as the huge rock buried them in the water.
The girls huffed as they went back to the place where they left the pictures and cameras and walked off into another direction, oblivious to the men that would later follow them, curious what kind of pictures they took.
oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
"Humph, the nerve of those guys! And Inuyasha! That was uncalled for!" Kagome raged and the other girls nodded in agreement.
"Men, they have no concept of the pains women go through," Kagura commented as she flipped through the polaroid pictures. She came to one and paused. "Kagome, why did you take a picture of the wuss?"
Himeno and Sango gasped in shock and stared at the miko incredulously. Kagome blushed and snatched the picture out of the wind witch's grasp. "It was an accident. Sango bumped into me when I was aiming for Kouga." The raven haired girl indicated to the picture that was beneath the one of Hojo. "See?"
"Hmm." Kagura hummed appreciatively. "The wolf does have a good build. And very large." Kagura began to blush and flipped to another picture. Her cheeks stained a dark cherry as her eyes took in the pale skin, red striped hips, and wisps of silver hair. "Um, mind if I keep this one?"
The three teenagers exchanged knowing glances. "Sure," Sango consented.
"Now, who's bigger?" Himeno questioned.
"Well, Inuyasha is a bit on the scrawny side, but he's more wiry." Kagome flashed a picture to the rest of the girls.
"True, so he's out. Miroku's a bit better, but not by much, unfortunately." Sango sighed wistfully.
"Sasame is pretty big, and look at those abs! I wonder if he works out in his spare time?" Himeno mused as she examined Sasame's picture.
Meanwhile somewhere nearby...
The three men being critiqued were blushing different shades of red. 'Girls are so perverted.
"Hayate is the biggest of them all. I mean, he is tall, and the body is very proportioned, not to mention well toned..." Himeno stammered and caused the wind knight to blush crimson.
'Himeno...no hentai.' Hayate thought in distress.
"Ahem, Sesshoumaru-sama is the better equipped of them all." Kagura boasted and the hidden taiyoukai's eyes widened slighty in shock and surprise. The thin line of pink made a reappearance.
Inuyasha shoved his fist into his mouth to keep his laughter muffled. A few snorts slipped out and the girls paused in their examinations. Sango pulled Hiraikotsu closer to her and approached their hiding spot. She attacked and met a head with a solid CLUNK.
"OWWW!" Go cradled his injured head and the guys knew the jig was up.
The girls blushed and identical expressions of mortification were etched onto their faces. That was when Sasame noticed the pictures. His eyebrow twitched and he pinched the bridge of his nose in exasperation.
"Chests, you were talking about our chests?" His voice was strained and the other males looked shocked. "Do you realize that with the way you worded your conversation, it is quite easy to believe that your talking below the belt?"
The girls were very close to fainting from the sheer embarrassment as the remaining males nodded their heads in agreement.
"Well," Himeno decided to be the brave one and state their reasoning. "Guys seem to have an obsession with boobs, why can't we girls talk about pecs?"
There was an awkward silence and Kagome went to her yellow bag. She pulled out a bottle of sake and took a deep drink from it. She sighed and passed it to Sango. "I needed that. Now, who else wants to get drunk?"
Several hands shot into the air and Kagome proceeded to pull out a few more bottles. They were well ready to get piss poor drunk after the numerous embarrassing and humiliating events that night.
oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
SSD: YAHOO! We're free! Time to hunt down those ACME bastards and free my Itachi-kun from their evil clutches!
AAF: (Slap SSD) Settle down. WE NEED TO BE QUIET!
Hayate: WILL YOU BOTH PIPE DOWN!!! (An echo was heard soon after causing footsteps approaching them near by)
Go: Crap! Uh…where will we go? (Go's head rotates back and forth continuously)
Shin: SSD, what are we going to do? (She has tears rolling down his face)
M-Sasame: You have no need to fear, AAF, I will keep you safe. (pulls AAF into an embrace)
AAF: (Bam! M-Sasame crashes into a wall that held weapons in it) Oh, lookie here weapons just what we need! (Skips in happily)
SSD: (blinks) Well, ain't that a coinky dink? (Notices a container of shuriken, a pouch of kunai and a sharp katana) Oooh, pretty. (Takes weapons and attaches them to thigh, waist and hip respectively.) (Cackles) Fools, to leave such weapons in plain sight! They shall pay!
AAF: (looks and looks for a respectable weapon and finds a metal halisen) BWHAHAHAHAHA! (Twirls it around crazily)
Go: Oh no, she has that damn fan back!
Hayate: Only it's been upgraded.
M-Sasame: I hope she doesn't hit me with that. I'm too young and beautiful to die!
SSD: Where'd you come from? I thought that A-Sasame was the one stuck with us?
M-Sasame: Apparently, he picked up that Kawarimi jutsu you know and switched places with me.
(guards storm in Shin has the boom box with him and it's playing Orochimaru's Theme from Naruto)
Kenshin: Oro, where did he get that thing from?
Kouga: The noise! My ears!
Kamui: (bops head to the beat) Not a bad tune.
SSD&AAF: AHH! DRACULA'S COMING!
Guards: DRACULA? HELP! RUN AWAY!
(Orochimaru pops in)
Orochimaru: Hey, this is my song! (starts dancing disco)
SSD&AAF: …
Guards: …
Leafe Knights: …
SSD: Hey, where's Haschel and Lloyd?
Subaru: Apparently, AAF has a good left hook and you pack a good kick as well.
Orochimaru: (fuming) I am dancing here! Attention on me!
AAF: Shut up, you, girl FROM THE RING!
Orochimaru: (twitch) (mutter) One doujinshi, just one and that title is stuck to me. DIE GAKI! Seinei'jashuu! (summons snakes)
Hayate: (kills snakes with wind blades) Don't touch her!
SSD: Where the hell is Jiraiya or Tsunade when you need them!
Orochimaru: (perks) Tsunade-hime? Where?
SSD: (whacks Orochimaru with the hilt of her sheathed katana) That was getting annoying. Stupid Micheal Jackson reject. Now. (eyes glint menacingly) Where's my Ita-kun?
Will the guards crack under a scary and insane SSD's interrogation? Will they find the magic whistle and break the spell holding the anime characters to the fiendish ACME company's rule? And will AAF and SSD stop being so damn hyper?
AAF: Shut up! (Throws a rock at him)
M-Sasame: Ouch! But my love!!! (Cries)
SSD: Just do your job, M-Sasame!
M-Sasame: (sigh) Alas, my love still goes unrequited. Ahem. (goes into announcer mode) Stay tuned for the next installment of Pretear in the Sengoku Jidai!