Haha, sorry for the cliff hanger from the last chapter.

I know I said I wouldn't, but I had to. The story needed it =)

Anyway, thanks to the flood of story/author alerts and reviews that came in. I feel so loved =)

This chapter's inspirations are:

Chance to Say Goodbye – Pete Murray

Feeling Sorry – Paramore

Haunted – Kelly Clarkson

If Today Was Your Last Day – Nickelback

Since You Been Gone – Kelly Clarkson

That's the Way I Loved You – Taylor Swift

Unwanted – Avril Lavigne

Anyway, Please Enjoy!

Disclaimers: I don't own Twilight, but I am the owner of this story =)

Chapter Eleven: Equinox

"Bella." He said simply.

I stared at him, not moving.

He looked down, horrified with himself. "Bella, I am so sorry. I just… I can't put how sorry I am into words."

I retained my silence.

"I know I've hurt you so badly," he said quietly, barely moving his lips. "And I don't expect you to ever forgive me."

"You got that right," I muttered. This was the first time I'd ever truly felt anger towards Edward.

He nodded. "I couldn't live without you, Bella. I just… couldn't. I love you." The last words he added on burned me.

"Bella?" He asked. I was quiet again.

I stared at him coldly.

"You left me!" I screamed at him. I wondered where this anger had come from – I wasn't ever this angry. "You told me you loved me, and you left! You broke me Edward, you ****ing broke me!"

He shuddered, like I'd caused him pain. Good.

"And now you're back," I continued in the same, hysterical screaming. "And you've messed everything up! Damn it Edward! You told me you weren't coming back, and here you are! I have a life now! I don't want you here, 'cause you've just screwed everything up! ****ing hell Edward, why?"

He nodded mutely.

"Answer me!" I screamed. "Why, Edward?"

His face was suddenly emotionless. "I thought I was doing the right thing," he said in a monotone. "But I was wrong."

I shook my head. "I already know that. I mean, why do you want to talk to me?"

He looked away, downcast.

"LOOK AT ME!" I screamed, louder than before.

His cobalt black eyes locked onto mine, pain in them, before flickering back to emotionless.

"Because I love you." He said. "And I want another chance. I love you, Bella."

Well, that was a shocker.

So he loved me, big deal. He always had, up until over half a year ago. He'd woken up to himself and decided that he didn't want a stupid, insignificant human loving him helplessly, so he'd cut his losses.

And, in doing so, cut me out of his life.

But then, I'd found someone who wasn't ever going to leave, who would love me more than Edward supposedly had.

Have you ever heard of the phrase, 'if you love somebody, set them free'?

Well, you're not supposed to take it seriously.

"And what do you want me to do about it?" I asked, copying his emotionless voice, minus the soft velvet.

"Do you still love me?" He asked quietly, his musical voice suddenly mysterious, beautiful. His scent was somehow closer to me now, clogging my nose. How the hell was he dazzling me?

I cleared my head. Emotionless was the key when he did this to me.

To love or not to love, that is the question. Did I? After everything, did I love him?

No! He broke you, Bella, and that's unforgivable. He left you, he told your that he didn't want you anymore. He lied to you! He went back on all those promises, all the trust and love you had for him. You don't love him, Bella! You can't!

But, he was here now, saying that he loved me, prepared to repair me.

"I… I love you," I said. His eyes filled with relief, and he started to move forward. I held up a hand to stop him.

"I love you Edward… I did… but not like before. I still love you just as much, but I can't forgive you. Not yet. I can't bring myself to trust you right now."

He nodded frantically. " I know, and I'm sure you can come to trust me again. We can work through this, I promise-"

"No!" I said, interrupting. "That's the thing, Edward. Promise. Your promises broke me, because you broke them."

"I'm sorry," he said simply.

"Don't be. I don't want your sympathy."

"But do you want me?"

He'd found the opening to the hole he'd made months before. That question that had been lingering for to long. Yes, I loved him, more than he deserved right now. But, was I ready to jump back into a relationship like nothing had happened?

"And what about Jared?" I asked. "You can't expect me to just leave him Edward. I love him, maybe more than I love you."

He nodded sadly. "He imprinted, didn't he?"

"Yes, but even without that, I wouldn't leave him."

He sighed. "I believe we have an impasse."

Oh, well that was great.

He growled lowly. "And I believe my three minutes are up."

At that, Jared loped back into view, followed by the rest of the pack. They stood on the edge of the clearing, bunched together. Paul and Sam looked furious, and I only hoped it wasn't directed at me.

"Time to go, bloodsucker," growled Sam. "We had a deal, remember?"

Edward nodded. "I'll go… unless Bella has anything she wants to tell me?"

I stared at him in horror. What did he expect me to do, make a choice? He couldn't do that, that was so unfair. I wasn't ready.

"Bella?" He asked. "I'll leave, and this time forever," he lay stress on the word, and I knew he meant it. "Do you want to come?"

Jared let out the most menacing, angry sound. "She's not going anywhere with you, bloodsucker."

"Let Bella make her own decisions, pup." He responded in the same, angry voice.

The two locked eyes, black on black.

"Stop it!" I yelled, getting as angry as they were. "Honestly, you two had better stop acting like three year olds!"

Jared broke off Edward's murderous gaze, walked over and placed an arm around my shoulder.

"You okay?" He asked, whispering into my ear.

Due to the uncanny hearing abilities of everyone in the clearing, I bet I wasn't the only one that could hear that.

"Fine." I said, louder. What was the point of whispering anyway?

I sighed. "I don't want you to go, Edward, but I'm not leaving Jared."

All eyes locked on me, confused. It was hard to tell who was the most perplexed – Edward or Jared.

"I can't live without either of you, and both of you can't live without me. But I only really love one of you, but I still want the other around."

I turned to Edward. "I'm so sorry, Edward, but I can't love you like you want me to. I need you, but not as a lover."

He nodded blankly. "I get it, Bella."

He glanced over at the pack. "I'm sorry for causing so much trouble here, and I can say that you'll never get it again, from any of my family."

He paused, staring directly into my eyes. "Goodbye… Bella."

And then, he was gone.

Just like before.

Too close to before.

Life, love, meaning, it wasn't completely over.

He was gone.

He loved me.

I didn't love him.

I had Jared.

But I needed Edward.

He was gone, gone again.

I had Jared, and that would be enough to get me through this new moon.

The balance had come, the equinox, and this time, it would be the right one.

Thanks for reading this chapter….

Not much to say, other than thanks,

Little Miss Illusional