Author's Note- Okay so I know that I haven't updated in a while but I just couldn't figure out how to write this chapter. I had to set it up right and if it wasn't the next chapter would be extremely dissapointoing to you the reader and me the writer. So although this chapter is very short it is a a set up chapter so just trust me on this the next chapter will be good and long. So yeah just a quick promotional note: go read Nature9000's The Greatest Secret. Again Nature's stories never fail to be awesome.
Disclaimer- Yes I now own iCarly and Smallville and Heroes and Battlestar Gallactica, you caught me! End my dream sequence... damn I still don't own anything!
Sam Puckett rolled over on her perfectly ironed bed and reached for her purple pillow. The soft hands brushed a harder substance than a pillow, a body. Her eyes shot open and she pushed the person off her bed with force. A tapestry of curse words came from her mouth that as far as we know still hang over Lake Michigan to this day.
The body began to speak back to her warning her that he wasn't going to hurt her, "Damn, Sam. It's me, your boyfriend. We were just studying I wasn't assaulting you or anything. So cease and desist if you would please."
A giggle escaped Sam's mouth as she jumped down from her bed. She crawled over to her boyfriend and said, "Oh, I'm ever so sorry for hitting a big strong man like you."
He laughed, "Well, you should because I am extremely manly. Not that when you hit me I was hurt… pasha. I'm a man and we are ever so manly!"
At the last comment Sam pinched his leg and he let out a high-pitched scream.
"Oh your right. You are so macho it makes me shiver in my boots. Now where does it hurt?"
"No where."
"Oh, well, I thought I would have to kiss it and make it better, but if you would rather…"
"Ahh, the pain, the agony. The pure and total… I need a word that means pain."
"Suffering."
"…Suffering. Oh it hurts so bad Sam. Can you help me with your healing kisses nurse?"
Sam bit her bottom lip to prevent another giggle from coming from her mouth. With a smirk she replied, "Well you know I am the best nurse in town. What can I 'heal' for you?"
He sat up straight and said, "Oh well first there is my arms and my legs," and Sam obliged by leaving a train of soft kisses up and down Freddie's arms and legs, "and of course my neck is in so much pain," and Sam did as she was told, "and finally my lips…"
"Fredward Benson! What kind of girl do you think I am? I would never kiss you on the lips. That would be completely unprofessional and rude and…"
No more noise came from Sam Puckett as her boyfriend captured her lips in battle of passion. She quickly responded and wrapped her arms around his head as she sat on his lap to get better assess. He lowered her on the floor and hovered above her depriving their lips of contact.
"Do you love me?'
"You know I do."
"I know. Its just life without you would be completely empty and I just don't. Look, I'm no Shakespeare so I can't even begin to tell you what life would be like without you. All I can express is that I'm so unworthy of someone like you. I don't deserve to be with you and…"
"Freddie, you sound like a whiney fourteen year old girl. Leave all of the crappy spouts of love up to me, okay? And another thing, I love you. That's all that matters to me. Words are just a waste of time for people who aren't really in love.
"No, wait I'm not saying it right. What I mean is that I know you really love me because I can feel it in each touch, each breath, each look. You enchant me every time you walk in the door. So don't doubt me by doubting how I feel about you. Listen to each of my touches and each of my breaths and all of my looks. I'm yours."
Freddie leaned in to kiss Sam again when a loud thump was heard from outside Sam's window. The small sound of feet came from the other side of the bed Sam and Freddie were behind.
The intruder began to cackle softly and whisper things to themselves. Then the voice cracked and spoke softly, "Sam, oh Sam. I'm here my dear and I've come to take you away from the foulness of your world.
"I really hate kicking and screaming so come quietly and we can start the rest of our lives on an up note."
At this Sam's eyes widened and Freddie grew infuriated. Freddie stood up quickly and began, "Hey if you think this is some kind of sick jo- Jonah?"
"Oh boy!" Jonah laughed, "Two in one. This is going to be fun! Let the games begin."
Author's Note- Alright creepy Jonah and confused Freddie...awesome! So tell me what you think by reviewing and if you really what to be my favorite person you can also PM me and tell me what you want to be said between Freddie and JOnah in the next chapter. I will use some of your lines and stuff along with what I want to happen! Again review and virtual disney magic will be yours!