Third Instar
And then it happens again: apathy, paralysis, pain. The others approach at times, macabrely curious, while I remain stagnant.
A skinny boy picks up a large chunk of dead skin that's fallen off of me. I am indignant--it's mine. He tries to throw it to somebody else, but it disintegrates in the middle of the air.
Nobody sees me, but I gloat. There's nothing else to do.
Once I am finally blessed with energy again, I run around the compound until I am tired. As I relax, trying to regain my energy, I look down at myself. If I am bigger than I was before--I feel bigger--maybe I'll do better at the games.
But when I try to look at myself, my neck hurts and my eyes blur. I try to remember how I was before, but I had no reason to look at myself them. There is little that I remember; the past never seemed like the past. Only one moment of the present and another moment of the present, in order. There was never a reason to think about it when it was going on.
In the end, it doesn't matter. When the nurse comes to give us food, she leads me out of the compound. I do remember having come from a different compound, yet I have a feeling that I won't be going back to the place I came from. Somehow, I'm right.
The boys are here as well, however, and other children that look different from the others. It's as if I can see them coming from farther away, and know that it's them. If I knew what familiarity was, I would have known that that was it.
The Great One who comes for me, though, I could recognize anywhere and do follow, somewhere beyond my understanding.
When he comes for me, he has nothing for the first time. No food and no toys, but I come to understand that he wants me to go with him. Trustingly, I follow.
He leads me outside the compound, but not down a path. Instead, I see what look like small toys in the distance, brightly colored. Eagerly, I run towards them.
But as I do, they grow. They are larger than me, larger than either of us! Fear makes me freeze, but he gently progresses, and I nervously continue.
He approaches a black one, and opens part of it up like it was a gate, than does something strange. He disappears, no longer standing on the ground with me. The thing is still there, and he is...part of the thing.
He makes a noise, and rematerializes, grabbing me. I squirm in fear, but he drags me...into the machine. I remain there and real, however, and so does he.
Then the machine begins to move very quickly over the ground. I am thrust against its back wall, but remain within it as we accelerate.
It is nothing like anything I have ever experienced before. If I had control over something like this, I would dominate over all the other children. But I could not control such a large machine; that is the job of the Great One.
I have eaten my last meal of the day by the time he comes, and am tired by the time we arrive. The machine stops moving, and as I relax, the Great One leaves the machine, moving confidently towards a colossal structure. I try to follow, but can't extricate myself from the machine. Nervously, I wait until he enters the structure. Part of the machine is made out of a material that allows me to see him as he goes, but once he is inside it, I can't see him anymore.
Yet he returns shortly afterwards, letting me out. I walk around the machine, trying to reorient myself, but he quickly leads me towards more machines. If the ones I'd seen had been beautiful, these were dazzling. Most are bigger than the one we'd come in, although he leads me towards one of the smaller of those.
There is another Great One already there, and both of them make high-pitched whines as the one that comes for me leads me up a ramp, into the big machine. He puts a protective hand on me, and then...
We are moving! Very quickly, but not in a direction I have ever been before. Towards the sun and the stars. Nervously, I skitter around the machine, but I lose my grip on the almost-ground as I do so. I try to propel myself back towards the others, but can't get any of my legs under control. They flail as I float helplessly, not knowing enough to stop trusting.
But at last we all fall towards a new opening in the machine. The Great One that I know pulls himself through into a different place, then reaches in for me. I follow him through round hallways in soft metals until we can go no farther. But he finds an opening and puts part of his body inside, blocking it from me. There are noises, low and broken staccatos. Then he moves all the way in and turns, beckoning me.
It looks like a night, with stars everywhere. There is smoke in the room, and Great Ones. Woozily, I lose focus, and I feel myself being hoisted aloft. Each of my legs is raised towards the glorious sky.
A lady approaches us, the largest person that I have ever seen. She makes a lot of sound. Had it not been for the distractions in the air, it might seem important. The noises that the Great Ones made when they were together never matter before, but whatever the seer has to say would sound meaningful under other circumstances. But it's just useless prophecy, nothing more.
Only when it is over do I miss it. Only after the Great One helps me return down the hallway, into the transport ship, to the spaceport, the compound, do I crave the sky once more. Some prophecies fulfill themselves; the old teach the young by making a past so powerful it forces them to think of the future.