Cast in order of appearance: Al, Wrath, Ed
Al: See anything yet, Wrath?
Wrath: I need my glasses.
Puts two glasses of water on his eyes
Wrath: Hmmm, it's the mail truck!
Al and Wrath: Our package!
Both start dancing and hopping
Ed: I didn't realize it was Happy Hopping Moron Day.
Mailman: Alphonse Elric?
Al: That's me!
Throws a very big box next to Al and Wrath
Ed (watching out window): That's a big box!
Al: Thank you.
Still dancing and hopping
Wrath: Hey Al, when do we stop hopping?
Al: 30 more seconds, Wrath.
Ed: *scoff* He probably ordered a lifetime supply of bubble soap.
Al and Wrath pull out a big/screen TV
Ed: Huh?! A brand-new television?
Al: Easy...easy...
Throws the TV onto a trash-can
Ed: Just when I thought they couldn't get any stupider.
Al and Wrath laugh then jump into the box
Ed comes out side
Ed: Let me get this straight, you two ordered a giant screen television just so you could play in the box?
Al and Wrath pop out of the box
Al: Pretty smart, huh?
Wrath: I thought it wouldn't work.
Ed: Uh-huh, that's quite a plan there. Oh, but wait, there was something else I wanted to ask you two. What was it? Oh, yeah, yeah. Don't you two have any brains?!
Al: Ed, we don't need television. Not as long as we have our... (makes a rainbow with his hands) ...imagination.
Ed: Wow, I never thought of it that way. That's really something…. Can I have your TV?
Al: With... (makes a rainbow with his hands) ...imagination, I can be anything I want! A pirate! Arr! A football player! Hutt!
Wrath: A homunculus!
Ed: Wrath, you're already a homunculus.
Wrath: See, Edward? It works! You try!
Ed: Okay, let's see. I'm imaging myself watching TV (points to the one on the trash-can) And there it is! Can I have it, Al?
Al: Sure, Brother.
Ed: Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy! (Ed pushes TV into house)
Al: Okay Brother, but if you change your mind, we'll be in this box!
Two close the box back up
Wrath: Let's play Mountain Climbing Adventure!
Al: Let's go for it! Gloves!
Wrath: Check.
Al: Hats!
Wrath: Check.
Al: Underwear!
Wrath: Uh… check!
Al: Okay, Wrath, climb up there and secure this rope.
Wrath: You got it!
Ed hears noises of someone climbing a mountain coming from the box
Al: Wrath! Wrath! Wrath, you're going to high!
Ed (to himself): I hope they put some air holes in that box….
Ed goes inside
Al: Take it easy, Wrath, you've got to acclimate!
Wrath: I'll be easy when I'm dead! I'm standing at the gate! Woo! Excelsior!
Ed comes back out
Ed: Now where's that remote?
Wrath: I am the lizard king! Woo!
Al: Wrath? Wrath? Wrath! I think we should keep our voices down! We might start an avalanche!
Wrath: What?
Al: I said, I think we should keep our voices down in case of avalanches!
Wrath: What should we keep down?
Ed: Morons….
Al: Our voices!!
Ed: Will you two shut up?!
Ed kicks box
Loud avalanche sound from inside
Al and Wrath screaming
Ed: Al?
Ed touches box, another avalanche sound and Wrath and Al crying
Wrath: Hold me.
Al: Hang in there buddy, the chopper is on the way!
Wrath: Al! My legs are frozen solid! You're going to have to cut them off with a saw!
Al: No Wrath, I can't do that!
Wrath: Why not?
Al: Because I already cut off my own arms!
Wrath: No!!
Ed panics and opens the box
Wrath and Al sitting calmly inside
Ed: What? How were you two making that noise?
Al: *laugh* What noise, Brother?
Wrath: We could only hear the sound of our laughter.
Ed: Yes! But those sound effects: the avalanche, the, the, the…!
Wrath: Don't forget the second avalanche.
Ed: …Forget it. I don't know why I'm wasting my time out here when I could be watching my brand new television.
Helicopter sound from inside the box
Man (Inside Box): Attention climbers, please hold on! The saws are on the way!
Al and Wrath cheer
Ed opens box
Ed: How are you two doing that?
Al: First we establish a base camp at 15,000 feet-
Ed: The noises, how are you two making those noises?
Wrath: That's easy. All you need is a box.
Al: And... (makes a rainbow with his hands) ...imagination.
Ed: Are you trying to say that I have no imagination? I have more imagination... (tries to make a rainbow with his hands but fails) ...in one automail finger than you two have in your whole bodies!
Wrath: That's good. Now all you need is a box.
Closes the box as Ed walks back to his house
Several minutes later
Ed: I'll show them!
Looking for another box in closet
Ed: There's got to be one in here!
Finds a small, round green box
Ed: This hat box should do nicely.
Pulls out a sombrero
Ed: Why haven't I worn this yet?
Ed gets in the box he is too big for and sits there staring at his watch
Ed: Forget it!
Kicks box
Sirens
Police Man: Attention! We have you surrounded! Come out with your hands up!
Ed (suddenly nervous): What do they want with me? What did I do? (looks at box) I must have violated some new box kicking law!
Ed walks out of house with the green box held in front of him
Ed: Looky officers, everything's Okay! I won't do it again!
Looks around to see the noises are coming from the box Al and Wrath are in
Al: You'll never take me alive, coppers!
Man: No, Johnny! Don't do it!
Ed kicks the green box, lands in front of Al and Wrath's box
Sirens stop and Wrath and Al look out of the box
Wrath: Whoopee! Another box!
Wrath grabs box and pulls it in, sirens resume
Ed: I got to try to relax. Perhaps I can drown out their childish games with a little TV.
Turns on TV to see a box conveyer belt channel
Host: It is here that the boxes reach their final stage of assembly.
Changes channel to see a professor talk about a box equation
Physicist: The equation is illustrated here by this box.
Changes channel to a soap opera
Man: I couldn't afford a present this year, so I got you this box.
Both hold up boxes
Woman: That's what I got you!
Ed: Isn't there anything on that isn't about boxes?
Changes channel
Host: And welcome back to Championship Boxing.
Ed: Heh-heh, I guess this is Okay. I mean, it's not really about boxes.
Two cardboard boxes are going at each other
Ed: …I give up.
Man (from outside): 3...2...1...blast off!
Ed (looks out window): How are they doing that? That was the most realistic space launch I ever heard! There must be an explanation. Think, Ed, think!
Imagines of a tape recorder they have and playing real effects
Al: Brother's such a jerk.
Both laugh
Ed: Laugh at me, will they?
Runs outside and opens box
Ed: All right, where is it?
Wrath pops out of green box, much too small for him
Wrath: Here I am!
Al: Where's what, Brother?
Ed: Don't "Where's what, Brother?" me! Where's the tape recorder?
Al: *grin* We don't have a tape recorder, Brother!
Ed: Don't "We don't have a tape recorder, Brother" me!
Al: But we don't!
Wrath holds up small white box
Wrath: We have a tape recorder box.
Ed: All right, make way you two, I'm coming in.
Ed gets into box
Al: Welcome aboard, Brother! You've just set sail on the S.S... (makes a rainbow with his hands) ...Imagination. Where our only destination is fantastic adventure! Where do you want to go first?
Ed: Don't mind me, I'm just here to observe.
Al: Brother, don't you see? Waiting and watching? That's not what the box is all about! It's all about... (makes a rainbow with his hands) ...imagination.
Ed: *snap* All right, fine! Take me to Alchemist Homunculus Island! I want to arm wrestle with Mustang on the moon! Just do it so I can get back and watch TV!
Al: Okay, Ed! Alchemist Homunculus Island it is!
Al and Wrath close eyes
No sound
Ed: …Why won't this thing turn on?! All right, fine. If you don't want to show me, I don't care! I've got better things to do than pace the floor wondering how you two work this thing!
Ed several minutes later pacing the floor
Ed: How do those two work that thing? There's got to be a secret button or a switch or something! I mean, listen to that! (hears noises from box) That sounds like Alchemist Homunculus Island! Think, Ed, think! I got it! When those two go to bed, I'll sneak in there and find that button. I'll wait all night if I have to!
Night
Ed asleep, sounds of fireworks
Box opens and both get out and walk into the house, waking Ed
Wrath: I need sleep to refuel my imagination tanks!
Al: I still can't believe those Alchemists beat all those Homunculus.
Wrath: See you in the morning.
Al: Good-night, Wrath.
Both go into their bedrooms
Ed smiles (evilly) and sneaks out and into the box, still on the side of the road
Ed (sees a piece of paper on the wall): Hello, what's this?
Begins reading
Ed: "This plaque is to commemorate the brave alchemists who gave their lives to keep this box safe from the homunculus Menace. Lest we forget-" For get it!
Tears paper
Ed: I've got to find that button quick!
Looks around box
Ed: It's got to be around here somewhere. I don't see anything! It's just an empty box! Maybe it really was their imagination. Oh… get yourself together, Edward! I mean, do I really believe that if I sit here and pretend to drive a race car that I'm suddenly going to start hearing noises?
Steps on the imaginary gas pedal and hears the actual noise
Ed: What the…?!
Ed turns the imaginary key
Ed: It actually works! I can't believe it!
Garbage truck backs up and picks Ed's box up and puts it in the truck
Ed: Oh boy! This beats TV by a long shot! This is the most fun I've ever had!
Al (to himself): Listen to that. Brother finally made the box work after all. That is so great.
Garbage tuck drives away with Ed in the box, still thinking he's driving
Ed: Vroom! Only two more laps to the finish line!
Garbage truck dumps out the trash in junk yard, box speeds down mountain of trash
Ed: I'm in the lead! Out of my way! I'm almost there! Victory is mine!
Box slides down a trash pile until it hits something sending Ed flying out and into a half eaten cherry pie
Al and Wrath get up and walk outside
Al: Hey, our box is gone!
Wrath: Oh well.
Al: I know! Let's go see if Brother has enough money to buy us a new TV!
Wrath: I hope he's not too down in the dumps today.
Fin
Alright everyone! Thanks for reading! Now while you may have read Homunculus Gags, FMA Gags are slightly different. They're just random TV shows that I think would be funny with FMA, and while FMA Gags had one main character, these stories may vary in characters. I hope you like it a please review. Reviews are better than ice-cream!
:P
Tennessee