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Insecurities: Galen

Galen sighed as Keller all but fled the room. He hadn't meant it the way she had taken it. He hadn't meant it anything like that at all. But the damage was done and now he would have to fix it.

He realized a little belatedly that he probably should have stopped her. Should have made her understand what he had meant before she had gone ahead and made assumptions. But he had, for one moment, been caught in the bitterness of her voice as she had agreed with him that she ought to go with the Wild Powers.

And now he wasn't sure if she had agreed because she wanted to go herself or because she thought that's what he had wanted.

It would drive him insane if he continued thinking like that of course.

He couldn't bring himself to think that Keller actually wanted to leave him. He had been in her mind more than once and never had anything like that come up. But at the same time he couldn't come up with a logical reason she should think he wanted her to leave. She had been in his mind, too, after all.

He wandered out into the hallway and started trying to think through his best options. Which meant he had to come up with all possible variables.

What if she didn't love him anymore? What if she had decided he didn't love her anymore? What if… what if… what if…

He went into his room and sat on the end of his bed. There were so many possibilities, so many variables, so many… for lack of better word… issues.

When it came to Keller everything was day to day. It was something he both loved and hated at the same time. One day he would think she had finally realized how desperately he loved her and the next it was like she believed the opposite.

He wouldn't have been particularly insecure about his relationship with her except… if she thought he didn't love her, or if she decided she didn't love him… she might leave him. And he didn't know if he could live through that. Keller was like the air he breathed. Her presence was both intoxicating and alerting at the same time.

And soon he wouldn't be able to fix this. She would be gone to who knows where and he might not hear from her again for months… years… ever. The thought made his head spin. He couldn't handle it.

And through his open door he watched as Quinn walked out of Rashel's room carrying several boxes and a suitcase.

"Are you going with the Wild Powers, then?" he asked, leaping up.

"No."

"Then what are you…?"

"Rashel isn't going either."

Oh. "Not to be nosy or anything but… does Rashel know she isn't going yet?"

"No. She has not been made aware of this fact. But I heard her tell Thierry she would go and I won't allow it."

"Oh, well…" he paused. "I'll just let you go through this on your own. I'll assume that in the end you'll do the right thing."

Quinn glared. "I'm doing the right thing now." And he walked off.

Galen decided, upon seeing the threatening glare, it was in his best interest to not bother with Quinn. He had faith that Quinn would ultimately do what was best for his soul mate.

Galen walked out of the room trying to come up with a plan that would accomplish his ultimate goal of letting Keller know he loved her and seeing her as often as possible without hindering her from what she needed to be doing.

He didn't want her to look back and regret anything because of him.

He saw Rashel walking into her room and almost stopped her to tell her where she could find her things but thought better of it. Sometimes it was necessary to let things be worked out on their own when it came to soul mates. And if he got involved it could break a very delicate balance.

He walked on by Rashel. He started to walk past Iliana's room but he heard Keller's voice from behind the closed door.

"I'm not like you. I don't deserve it. I don't deserve Galen," he heard. And his heart stopped and then it shattered.

Keller, his Keller didn't think she deserved him? It was the other way around. He reached out toward the door, wanting to grab hold of her. He had never been a violent person but he suddenly wanted to shake her and yell at her and make her understand.

"Galen would be heartbroken to hear you say that, I think," he heard Iliana murmur. Heartbroken? No. That didn't even begin to describe it. Crushed, destroyed, horrified, traumatized, anguish. These were words that could be used to describe how he felt.

And, he realized, it was how Keller felt too.

It came to him in a sudden burst of genius.

He would fix this.

He had to.