Full Summary: In the uncertain world of adults, Sora and Riku attempt to patch together their shaky relationship after almost 5 years apart. It's about love and hate and lost trust, set in a world where the magic has run dry and the boys see each for who they really are. The tension doesn't last for long, however, as both men fall into a routine that they both know very well. Along the way, they become reacquainted with the old qualities that brought them together, while familiarizing themselves with the individuals that each person has become.
Warnings: Language, A Great Deal of Riku/Tidus over-friendliness (hint, hint), Alcohol Consumption, Sex, Mild Violence
Disclaimer: None of the characters within this fanfic belong to me. If it did, this would be a full length movie with all smexy-slashy-yaoiness I could legally fit onto a single DVD. Kingdom Hearts is a lovely invention of Square Enix.
Side Note: Also, if you can't see this ending badly, you haven't been paying attention.
Hypervigilance
Chapter 8: Recovery
-
When you're an adult, you began to realize all the little things you used to obsess over and build up and place on a pedestal so high above your head are so very small and unimportant. When you're just a kid and your only problems consist of relationships and term papers and the pop quiz you just know the teacher is going to give next period, or during the summer when you're wondering how high the sky is or the best way to get sand out of your shoes, it's very likely that the last thing on your mind is a conspiracy to break up your best friend's marriage. No teenager is laying awake at night, wondering why they feel the need to be drunk all the time or why they can't form a steady relationship with anyone because the thought of falling in love again is more frightening than death.
It's likely that kids never imagine their first time to mentally scar and emotionally cripple them from wanting to touch another person again. It's likely that they never see themselves single handedly breaking everything that they once cared so much for.
In an attempt to reconnect with the past, because really, it has been too long, Riku invited Tidus back to his apartment and they're talking and drinking and for the first hour or so, it's actually a lot of fun. Tidus has so much to say about the past 5 years of his life, and it turns into a rather incredible conversation. Riku discovered that a few of his assumptions are true, Tidus was a senior in college and belonged to a privately owned frat house of which he attempted to teach Riku the alma mater, unsuccessfully because uh...no.
Tidus laughed it off though—he didn't really expect him to do it anyway—and delves right into all the 'really good stories', apparently keeping the boring stuff to himself because Riku heard very little about school and classes and more about the drunken antics of his college friends, one story in particular following the kidnapping of a butterfly koi fish from one of his more unsavory professor's backyard pond and spending the night in jail for burglary and trespassing.
But it isn't until Tidus revealed that he's majoring in Marine Biology that Riku started to see him in a different light; he began talking about the future and how much he's always loved the ocean. There's a different emotion in his eyes, it's not childish and playful, but enthusiastic because this is what's really important. Where the word career begins to replace gig and summer job, that's where he was right now. And in a matter of seconds, Tidus isn't that kind of spastic and gangling kid Riku used to ignore anymore. He's kind of an adult now.
It was somewhere between the third and fourth beer when Riku noticed Tidus was leaning on him, the hand on his leg was halfway between his knee and his hip, and for a second he's just reaching for something on Riku's other side. There was a half-formed thought that has been rolling around in Riku's mind for a while, something about the meaning of life, and suddenly Tidus' opinion on the matter is very important. So he tried to mold the thought into some type of coherent question when--
Oh.
--he realized that the hand on his leg wasn't an accident and there's nothing but empty space on his other side, and Tidus has very soft bangs and they were tickling his forehead. A protest was right behind his teeth because his question was gone before he ever figured it out, and the palm on the back of his neck was very undemanding and gentle. One last hesitant exchange in which Tidus licked his lips, and then his mouth was warm and a little sticky with saliva but it's good, better than he expected. Riku closed his eyes and stopped thinking so much because it really was good and when he tilted his head, there was a wet whisper of tongue against his lips, and Riku was not entirely opposed to see how it tasted.
The couch shifted as Tidus curled his legs up on the cushion, pushing himself up on his knees and his hands were hot and on either side of his face and they don't break the kiss for a second. Riku turned in his seat, and his back was pushing against the armrest and he wondered what kind of signals he was giving off to make the blond want to jump him as he attempted to get one leg on the other side of Tidus' body, eventually just giving up because his foot was stuck and he was much too lazy and too buzzed to care.
Riku's hands were on Tidus' hips—he couldn't figure out a better place to put them—feeling the rough material of his jeans under his fingertips and the urge was there, to take them off, pull them down, to see if every inch of his body was as healthily tanned as the visible parts implied.
It was a strange moment, when Riku realized he had his thumbs hooked in the belt loops of Tidus' jeans and if he tugged each one independently, then they wiggled down just far enough to expose a teasing trail of soft blond hairs and a seamless tan that kept going down farther than he could see. It's a strange moment because it's obvious what the goal was here, but Riku couldn't figure out if it was the intended goal all along. At that moment, he replayed his own words over in his head, trying to remember if he really did invite Tidus up to his apartment because he wanted something to happen, or was it simply happening because Tidus wanted him to, and through not fault of his own, he was just going along with it?
Tidus' eyes were just a little too desperate, giving him a million pleading instructions at once. Touch, touch, touch, please touch. It's almost automatic, the way Riku lifted his shirt up over his head and slid his hands back down over his sides. His torso was athlete-gorgeous, all tan skin and hard muscle and Riku felt a little lost right as his fingers return to his jeans. It's still Tidus, just an older version. His mouth was missing its cheerful smile, replaced by lips far too easy and desirable to kiss. But, it's still Tidus.
"Uh..." Riku breathed, eyes a little wide as he comes to terms with his realization. The question is back, except in a much less complex format; something along the lines of 'What the hell are we doing right now?'
"It's okay. I want this." Tidus smiled, apparently hearing whatever couldn't put into words, and leans in, his nose lightly bumping Riku's cheek before their lips meet again, and it's so bizarre because there was a gorgeous, beach-bum tanned, 22-year-old college kid straddling his lap, practically throwing him every proverbial green light in the history of sexual body language, and all Riku could think about was the scrawny boy whose ass he kicked on a daily basis as a kid.
It was all very nostalgic. Not to mention ironic as hell.
Amidst all the tumultuous boy hormones, Riku was working up a pretty solid hard-on and deeply questioning the immorality of boning his childhood friends, while trying not to wonder if he's sating some type of older brother complex.
"Ah..." A small noise was released into Riku's mouth, Tidus pulled back, and then a gasp and shuddering sigh. His body was rigid and it took Riku a long time, after marveling at the ecstatic emotion on his face, to realize that, at some point his own hand had popped open the button of the blond's jeans and was buried deep in the warmth of his boxers, no barrier between his palm and hard, velvety flesh.
And that was Tidus. Hot, and hard, and cupped in his palm, Tidus.
"No. No, no. This can't—no." Riku was way out of his comfort zone. Tidus sat back on the couch, back in his original spot except he was still turned in Riku's direction. His pants were unbuttoned and boasting more soft golden hair under his navel, his shirt was laying somewhere forgotten, and he's biting his lip in a totally prepubescent fashion that would've been completely hilarious if Riku wasn't thoroughly freaked out already.
"What's wrong?"
What a question. The problem seemed pretty obvious to Riku. Tidus was his friend, granted, not his best friend like Sora, but the pattern here was so blatant that it was unnerving.
"This is just, kinda stupid, don't you think?"
"No." Tidus answered candidly. He sat back on his heels, jeans wiggling down lower on his hips and for a whole five seconds, Riku's mind was like, Fuck it, just do him. "It's a golden opportunity. Stop wasting time." He crawled forward across the cushions again and they were seriously one kiss away from a final decision and Tidus becoming completely naked, exposing all that taut, tan skin. A few more short moments of contemplating potential repercussions as well as orgasms, it was clear that sex was putting up a much more convincing argument.
Fuck it, just do him.
Tidus' skin was excitably flushed under his hands, and his tongue tasted vaguely like warm lager. His jeans were pushed down, all the way down, just kind of lazily hanging on his ankles. They bunched up and slipped off once Riku got him turned around on the couch, and then swiped on the floor, forgotten. If Tidus noticed he was the only one fully naked here, he doesn't make a comment, surprisingly. Riku was sure a complaint of some form was coming his way.
"God, you're slow." Tidus muttered, experimentally slipping a saliva-slicked finger inside himself. The visual certainly is stimulating, but the comment kind of killed the sexy breathlessness the intrusion affected his voice with. Only a little.
"Shut up, Tidus." Riku said, finished rolling on the thin non-latex condom Tidus shoved in his hand earlier, saying something along the lines of, 'before you kill me'. Riku balked at the time, but now he was sure he was referring to an allergy of some sort, and not some ludicrous sex slang.
There was another smart-ass comment there, Riku could hear it coming, but whatever sarcastic little gibe Tidus had waiting died in a soft groan in his throat when he entered him. And thankfully, he took Riku's advice once things start to move along, and he stopped talking so much and lets himself just enjoy the fucking moment.
Tidus gasped sharply, curling his fingers tightly as the depth and rhythm of each thrust became a little harder, a little faster. Riku paid an extra amount of attention to his breathing and each tiny moan and noise that he made, inexplicably reminded of his first time with Sora. It always disturbed him that he never noticed that Sora was in pain. It scared him so much, he wouldn't touch him for weeks afterward. Looking back now, it was more obvious where all the tension stemmed from in their relationship.
"Riku..." The moan caught him a little off-guard, slowing his movements to a near stop. The muscles in his shoulders flexed as Tidus leaned forward on his elbows. He looked back when Riku wasn't moving as fluidly anymore, his eyes begging a million things again. Riku knew his own motives here, but there was no way to tell what Tidus was thinking, his hips rocking back with an urgency he voiced in quiet gasp, his gaze darkened and pleading.
"Turn over." Riku instructed, those tortured eyes never leaving his face as he sat back, allowing him room to move and flip over on his back. He adjusted his legs, spreading them wider apart; Tidus groaned appreciatively as he sunk into him, hands gripping at his shoulders. Riku never asked what that look meant, never tried to figure out why he seemed so lost in pleasure and so troubled at the same time. He imagined Tidus had his own demons to deal with, and it wasn't his place to wonder.
–
Tidus shivered in his sleep, crossing his arms over his chest. The blanket Riku had laid over him earlier was slipping off, half on the floor, half still barely clinging to hips. Riku transferred his cell to his other ear, holding it in place with his shoulder as kneeled to retrieve the blanket and tuck it more securely into the couch. Tidus groaned quietly, but otherwise didn't wake up.
"Hey! Riku! 'Sup, ma--" Riku deleted the message before it finished, vaguely recognizing the voice as someone who probably annoyed him at some point. He figured now was a good a time as any to clear out his voicemail inbox, having accumulated 30-something messages that he hadn't bothered to listen to yet.
So far, it was going in the order of : Kairi, Kairi, Quint, Kairi, Some Asshole, Kairi, Sienna, Quint, Kairi. Just a whole lot of two second listening and much more deleting.
Riku finger combed his hair in front of the bathroom mirror, grimacing when it failed to yield the desired results and just using a real comb instead.
"Call me back, you selfis--" Kairi again. He really did plan on calling her back at some point, it just never happened. He dialed her back, this time hopefully refraining from hanging up on her. He still felt kind of bad for doing that.
"Hello? Riku?" She answered, sounding a little breathless like she had been running only moments before. "Don't you dare hang up."
"I wasn't planning to." Riku couldn't help the little smile on his lips at her tone, feeling only a tiny bit guilty.
"You idiot. What're you trying to do to me?" She laughed, a relieved sound, her voice reminding Riku of soft chiming bells.
"Sorry, Kai." He said. "I've just been—"
"You don't have to explain." Kairi assured him, and he can almost see her shaking her head. "Everyone's worried about you."
Riku selfishly wondered if that 'everyone' includes you-know-who. "Yeah, I know. I'm okay though. Still breathing and everything."
"That's good."
There was a silence afterward, not an awkward one, but it gave Riku a minute to listen to everything neither one of them were saying and it's a strangely comfortable feeling, just hearing the quiet phone noise.
"I saw Tidus yesterday."
"Oh, really? He's in town?"
Riku imagined her sitting at the kitchen table or on the couch, girlishly twisting her fingers in her hair. "Yeah, in a grocery store. He looks different now." He tried not to think of him naked and sleeping on his couch.
"Of course, he's got all those muscles now." Kairi giggled. "He used to have the biggest crush on you, you know." She said this teasingly, not knowing how true it was.
"Really? Wow." He pretended not to know for her sake. Let her have her joke. "I'm starting to think everyone does."
Kairi snorted. "Nice ego."
"I try to keep it considerably well-groomed."
"You're in good mood." She pointed out, and Riku was surprised that he didn't notice it himself. He was significantly happier than he was earlier, but he figured that was just post-orgasm happiness.
"Guess I am."
"Ooh, is it a boy?" Her voice was so playfully juvenile, Riku couldn't help but laugh.
"Something like that."
There was sounds of movement from outside the bathroom and Riku briefly forgot about his conversation as the door opened without any kind of knock, and then there was a half-asleep Tidus wandering in, jeans still unbuttoned, but at least they were on.
"Uh, hi."
"Morning." He muttered, yawning. It took a second for Riku to realize what he was doing, before he remembered that he is in the bathroom, standing in front of the mirror and talking to Kairi on the phone.
"Do you want me to—okay." Riku turned back to the mirror because Tidus seemed to be just ignoring the fact that he was there and it's not like he really wanted to watch what he was doing.
"Who are you talking to?" Kairi asked, reminding Riku that she was still on the phone.
"A boy." Riku jumped a little when Tidus nudged him to the side to wash his hands, their eyes meeting in the mirror.
"Oh, the boy." Kairi laughed into the phone. "Is he cute?"
"Very cute." Riku added, gently ruffling his already sleep-mussed hair. Tidus smiled.
"Well, you have fun with your boy." She said, standing probably. Shifting could be heard in the background. "I, however, have to make breakfast."
"That sounds fun too."
Kairi scoffed. "Yeah, right. Not the same kind of fun, Riku." She laughed. "Bye, babe. Don't be afraid to call me."
"Yeah, I know, Kai. Bye."
"Kairi? Wow, I haven't talked to her in a while." Tidus said, shaking his hands dry.
"Yeah, maybe you're the one who, 'like, dropped off the fucking planet, man'." Riku mimicked his lazy way of talking, flipping his phone closed and shoving it in his pocket. He'd clear the rest of his voicemail later.
"Shut up. It's not my fault campus is, like, 30 minutes away." He frowned right after he said it, like he could hear how pitiful an argument it was.
"You can use the shower if you need to." Riku offered, stepping around him to get to the door, still sitting wide open since Tidus came in.
"Thanks. Hey, Riku." He stopped him before Riku could leave, leaning against the door frame. "Um, thank you."
"You already said that."
"Yeah, no, not for the—but for...last night. That was...cool." Tidus grimaced at his own words, rubbing down his bangs against his forehead.
Cool? What was this, ninth grade?
"No problem." Riku smiled, chuckling when Tidus apologizes for being hungover. He tried to shut the door and was stopped once again by another 'Hey, Riku'. "Yeah?"
"You need a date? Or, want a date, 'cause I'm free tomorrow, and-" I want to go with you, his sheepish smile finished for him. He's holding the door in one hand, still leaning on the door frame. And he's reasonably attractive even hungover and half-asleep and still smelling like the totally shameless sex they had on Riku's couch the night before. And even though he only looks about seventeen, it wouldn't be such a bad thing to have someone at the opening with him, especially if that meant showing his face in front of Sora.
"Yeah, sure. Sounds good."
It wouldn't be such a bad thing to have Tidus as a date because somehow, he knows there's no obligation to love or to hold, to do anything more than laugh and joke and talk about the past with a sunny little smile. Their attachments are solely left as friends and nothing more. Here, in this quiet bubble, where one-night stands meant absolutely nothing and people could just fuck whoever they wanted with no consequence. It wouldn't make sense not to go with him.
–
Sora was right there. Right in front of him. Less than four or five feet away. He was smiling and talking and laughing right in Riku's immediate vicinity. For 20 minutes, he'd been standing there and he hasn't said a word to Riku past 'hello.' Not a single fucking word. And no one has seemed to notice besides Riku himself.
He didn't ask how he was doing, he doesn't make small talk. If he's even noticed the fucking splits on his broken fingers, it doesn't show. In a way, it really was kind of a relief to be so throughly ignored. Tidus' fingertips lightly brushed the back of his hand, and Riku felt slightly reassured that at least one person was paying attention to him that night.
The night's only just starting and Riku was already severely annoyed. Not by the obnoxiously large turn out of people—he had a pretty solid hunch that Sienna had promoted the hell out of the event by announcing his attendance—no, that was mildly bearable, especially with Tidus at his side occasionally making very obvious passes at him. It kept the potential creepers away, and there were quite a lot of them, just staring from the sidelines, their comments becoming a dull hum of background noise.
No.
It was Sora that was putting him on edge.
More specifically, it was Sora's husband. He was too nice and incredibly charming and impossibly likable. So much in fact, that Riku couldn't make himself hate him entirely. It just wasn't fair. At least give him the dignity of hate, then maybe he could channel his aggression more effectively. Right now, all that malice was just becoming a rotten little thing in his gut.
Even having Tidus there as his date was becoming a bit of a disadvantage once he started doing less of the shameless flirting and more animated talking with Sora about, what else, but the game they just had to finish.
It was funny, in a way, how everything worked out. With Sora and Tidus splitting off into their own conversation, and Kairi oh-so-conveniently excusing herself to the restroom, Riku was stuck talking to Quint and the impossibly likable Evann. Riku cursed her pregnant bladder for making his life harder.
There's waitresses circling the room at a steady rotation, each offering a different type of drink or tiny speck of food that's neither appetizing nor fulfilling to anyone who actually bothers to eat it. Riku took a flute of champagne and the waitress smiled at him, heels clacking rhythmically on the marble floors and he's reminded of Sienna, who's thankfully kept herself scarce for the evening.
Each waitress was painted with pounds of glitter and make-up, made to look like harlequin dolls with rib-cracking corsets and tiny chiffon skirts that barely covered their asses, and four inch platform heels that made them taller than most people there.
Riku couldn't blame the straight man for looking, even if he was Kairi's husband.
"These models or something?" Quint inquired. The waitress raised the serving tray up higher and strutted around him. All ass and legs and a coy smile. Flirting.
"No." Riku smirked a little at his expense and the attendant who's clearly teasing him. Evann chuckled softly behind his glass, and Riku wasn't the only one in on the joke. "It's a man."
He gave this incredulous laugh, a bark of disbelief. "You're fucking with me."
"No, that's a man. They all are." Riku motioned toward the room as a whole, prompting Quint to inspect every sparkly bit of glitter-painted harlequin doll that passed, tiptoeing lightly on their over-sized heels.
"Seriously?" The 'girl' at his side nodded with a silent smile—paid not to talk—hooking a finger under her high collar and pulled it down, revealing a pretty manly Adam's apple. "Holy hell."
"I had no idea you and Sora knew each other." Evann threw this little comment out over his champagne flute. His gray blue eyes were watching Riku with mild curiosity pausing on his injured hand a couple times, but he didn't ask. Kairi came back from the restroom a few minutes before and Quint drug her off to show her the secret of the waitresses, leaving him with one Evann and no buffer for awkward conversation. "He's never mentioned you."
Riku shrugged. "We weren't that close." For some reason, this lie backfired on him, and the words have a sting to them that Riku couldn't quite figure out. He knew it wasn't true, but still, it felt that way.
"I thought you were his best friend." Evann's voice was as patient as any normal person's would be while conversing with a stranger, but his words were bitingly retaliatory in Riku's ears and suddenly he was yearning for adolescent blitz ball chatter.
"I guess I used to be." Riku sipped at his champagne and diverted his eyes at something to his right, pretending he's leisurely scanning the crowd, while practicing a few mind-clearing exercises in his head. There were too many things he could say, right now, inappropriate things, life-shattering things. He could break that fake little smile in a second, and Sora would be devastated, but it's not like he doesn't fucking deserve it, psycho mind-fuck that he is.
Evann frowned a little and Riku nearly sighed in relief when Sora finally drew the attention back to himself. It was almost awkward, that Sora won't even look at him—not that he cared—it just seemed kind of glaringly rude. Riku took this opportunity to surreptitiously check him out, see what was so damn remarkable about him that Sora just won't leave him already.
Evann was a slight man, smaller than Riku expected. He's about the same height as Sora, having a very similar build, slender. His hair could only be justly described as angel blond, so pale, it's almost white. He's attractive enough. You know, if you're into the whole scene kid look. Riku imagined him wearing tons of eyeliner and safety pins and rainbow colored hemp bracelets and slip-on tennis shoes as a teenager.
"So, you must be pretty excited, huh?"
Riku blinked, too disoriented by his own thoughts to notice he was being included again. "Oh, yeah. It's...pretty great." He attempted a smile, aborting and favoring his champagne instead when it just felt too weird. He ran out of his prescription earlier that afternoon, the very last of the painkilling drugs fading from his system. His hand throbbed dully. "So, how did you and Sora meet?"
Just making conversation. He was already telling himself he didn't really want to know, but his mouth kept consistently contradicting him though. There was nothing worse than talking to someone you really weren't familiar with and, in all probability, would never end up liking. The mouth tended to spout the most banal things when under pressure to be polite.
Evann laughed and waved his hand. "It's not a great story, really. See, we met in a bathroom."
Riku raised his eyebrows, and noticed the tiniest creases at the corners of his eyes when he smiled and wondered how much older than Sora he was. Younger than 30, but definitely older than 22. Late twenties, Riku guessed.
"It's not as perverted as it sounds." Evann assured him, sweeping his gold hair behind his ear, revealing a little diamond stud much like the one Sora has. There are marks along the cartilage of the shell of his ear where other piercings would go. It was hard to imagine that much metal on him. "Things are much better than they used to be." He nodded, apparently assuming it was obvious what he was referring to. His eyes lingered on Sora, and Riku pretended to be surveying the room again like he doesn't notice.
It's Riku's turn to start again, but all he could think about was laying in the couple's bed while Evann was at work and the 15-foot painting of Sora overlooking them. He tried to imagine the man on the other end of the phone when he called the clinic awhile back, the first time he had officially talked to the blond. He tried to imagine him with that venomous growl in his voice when he declared Sora wasn't leaving him for anyone.
"So, you're a lawyer?"
"Paralegal, actually." Evann corrected him, his voice matter-of-fact. "I'm in school to become a lawyer, though. Civil rights, mainly, that kind of stuff."
Riku found the word 'stuff' oddly out of place in the conversation, tilting his glass back to sip at his champagne. The civil rights thing was a little expected though, and Riku was vaguely reminded of Sora's pride tattoo.
"And a paralegal is an...assistant, basically?"
"Glorified researcher and secretary, yeah." Evann laughed. "Whole lot of reading case files and organizing written reports and drafting contracts. It's honest work though."
Riku sipped his champagne and feels about 15-years-old when he's done, and for a second, regretted not giving college a try back when it still mattered. What do you do for a living? I paint.
Any two-year-old could do that.
"Sounds brutal." Riku said.
"It can be, if you let it." He smirked and lifted his glass, and Riku's attention was drawn to a red star on the inside of his forearm, the dark silhouette of a thick letter P just underneath it showing as his sleeve pulls back. Just like Sora's. Riku didn't comment on it, though, downing the rest of his drink.
Speaking of Sora, he was still thoroughly ignoring Riku's existence and simultaneously stealing Evann's ever-loving devotion back to himself, making some kind of excited little comment to the blond who was giving him every shred of his avid attention span. There was a gesture made to the area behind them and then Sora was dragging him off, barely letting Evann say whatever was appropriate when one was being abducted away.
The fact that they're holding hands when the brunet excused his husband and himself from the conversation was an image that Riku would have to drink considerably to forget.
Yes, he was annoyed. Yes, he was jealous. And Yes, he was aware of how unflatteringly bratty that made him seem.
Tidus bumped his shoulder with his own and offered this cheesy smile, and Riku nearly laughed at how incredibly unorthodox he looked wearing such nice clothing. "Drink? I'm paying." He added, motioning to the bar and Riku was suddenly infinitely grateful that he invited him.
–
"You're very broody tonight, huh?" Tidus drew the smallest sips from his glass as he leaned his elbows on the bar, holding onto the contents as long as possible. To Riku's mild surprise, turns out he was not much of a drinker, further discouraging the stereotype Riku set him up to have. He turned his head and his eyes shone dully from under his long eyelashes.
Riku scoffed, but didn't say anything. Even if he could think of a response, he's sure it would sound either very self-conscious, or very egotistical. Or pathetic. There's a war waging inside of him and right now it's an epic battle between 'Grow the hell up' or 'Move the fuck on' and they're pretty equally matched.
"You have a lot to grateful for, you know." Tidus began and a brief moment of cowardice was telling Riku to tune him out. "Look at all these people who showed up, just for you. You have any idea what all of this means?" Riku knew he was gesturing emphatically toward the entire expanse of the crowded floor as a whole, but he didn't look. A sharp smack to the back of his head and he was glaring, ready to hiss out a protest when Tidus silenced him. "You're like fucking famous, you know that?"
Riku scowled, rubbing down his hair in the back, previously assaulted by the careless blond on the stool parallel to his. "Not really."
"Goddammit, can't you be happy for yourself? Hap-py. You remember what that means?" Tidus was seconds away from shaking his shoulder—Riku could feel it coming—and he dodged the hand before he could aggravate the hell out him.
"Alright, I'm indeterminately and irrevocably proud of me. Lay off it already."
Tidus smirked with an undeserved sense of pride in himself. "Thank you."
The soft background music changed and there was a tiny lull in between songs in which Riku ordered another drink and sneaked a glance out at the floor. There was an unspoken direction to the organized chaos out on the floor, only from the slightly raised platform of the bar can one really notice the subtle rotation of the mass group. It was a clockwise turn, only because that's the natural direction everyone seemed to be walking in after personally viewing each painting.
The arrangement tonight was one of his more tamer showings. Usually, his art was much more openly homosexual. Riku, being one of the well known 'out' artists, it was almost a given that there's bound to be a naked man involved somewhere. It's a stereotype, of course, but like all stereotypes, there's always some truth behind it. This arrangement though, was more subtle than what the 'fanbase' was used to, mainly in the significant decrease in nudity. It's more tasteful, in Riku's opinion, for rippling, God-like muscles to be covered in artfully designed clothing rather than something as bizarre as a loin cloth or, heaven-forbid, leather underwear.
Riku picked out Sora after a few seconds of scanning the room. Evann was close by and really, it was his exuberant hair color that caught Riku's attention, not Sora's more common brown. They were not holding hands anymore, but Evann, Riku noticed, was always touching him in some way. He kept his arm around his waist, leaving Sora little more option than to stay at his side. Riku narrowed his eyes, but didn't share his observations out loud. It just seemed suspicious, that's all.
"You know what it's like...to feel like a fucking animal?" Riku muttered, his gaze so intent on Sora's face that it was almost tangible. Like he wanted Sora to be able to feel him from clear across the room, feel him looking. "I can't do anything, but I want to. And it's driving me crazy."
"No, I get what you mean." Tidus followed his woeful stare to the brunet in the middle of the room, standing in the spot where all the light seems to be focused solely on him. Sora's smile was shining, and he's the only real piece of art there. "Sora is something else." He set down his glass, still nearly full, and folded his arms around it on the bar.
"Are you still in love with him?" Tidus' voice was soft and serious and for a second, Riku had to look directly at him just to make sure he wasn't smiling or anything, just to confirm that he really was asking a serious, legitimate question.
Riku lowered his eyes to stare at the blond's dress pant clad knee, and it was jumping because his leg was jostling restlessly in front of him. He gazed at the accumulation of people again and found Sora quickly because he's only moved about 5 feet to the right since he was last looking.
"Honestly, I don't know."
"Oh," A long silence. "Sorry." Tidus apologized for no reason, his voice still very quiet. His shoulders deflated and then he was staring into his glass like it knew all the right words he was supposed to say. Apparently making a decision, he abandoned his drink on the bar, hands on the corners of the counter to turn himself.
And then before Riku could think up more in edgewise, Tidus was angled toward him on his little stool, leaning so close that he has to balance himself with his hand placed on the tiny triangle of extra seat left between Riku's legs. Then Tidus was kissing him again, and it didn't feel entirely wrong. The softness of his lips was better than nothing, and the warmth of alcohol on his breath wasn't such a unpleasant taste when he gently sighed in his mouth. A long, slow flicker of tongue and Riku was sliding forward a little in his seat, and that palm was still there, except now it was actually cupping his crotch, rubbing subtly the promise of pleasure to come if he played his cards right.
There was no shame in admitting it. Tidus was sexy. And right now, he was the closest thing to the gorgeous man that he wanted to get tonight. Why not? He was willing and eager, and didn't refuse the tangle of fingers in his hair. His body was so, so warm and inviting and his tongue spoke of a skill that anyone would readily beg for, and Riku began to wonder why he hadn't found him so attractive before.
It was a shame that all this obvious talent and sensuality had to be wasted on some drunken college kids when he could make such slow innocent kisses tip and spill into something so deep and so hot. And Riku forgot for a second that they were in public and his eyes closed and the quietest moan escaped through his parted lips. He was leaning a little forward and his breath came out a little rough when Tidus smiled against his mouth. There was a hint of triumph there and Riku felt himself flush when half-open eyes regard him with subdued amusement and raw sexuality.
"Forget him." The words he uttered promise such a simple solution that the 'Move the fuck on' half inside of him cracked 'Grow the hell up' over the head mercilessly.
Tidus was sexy. But there was a lingering of something very objectionable about the way this story was playing out, like changing the ending of an old fairytale, or switching up the lyrics of a song right at your favorite verse. Still, Riku was very aware of who was clearly going home with him tonight. And for once, it hardly mattered that it wasn't Sora.
–
It's late and Riku couldn't leave before the gallery cleared out, and it seemed like Tidus was steadily losing his grip on self-control the longer they had to wait, and it was becomng more apparent with each new kiss on the neck, the slow scrape of nails across his jugular, the hot tongue curling around his earlobe. It was all very distracting, and Riku wasn't exactly hating it. He noticed he was getting less attempts at mingling and pretentious small talk with a horny blond clawing at his chest. Tidus was making it very hard for the social elite to steal Riku's attention away from him, at least not without a few awkward throat clearings first.
It was hard for Riku to determine exactly how much time had passed—having your mind preoccupied the way his had been does that to people—before Tidus sat back on the edge of his own seat, his hands still resting firmly on Riku's thighs. He gave each a playful squeeze and grinned. Riku licked his lips and smiled back because he felt like a flirting teenager again, and he honestly couldn't remember the last time he made out for longer than five minutes, much less a whole hour.
"Gotta piss." Tidus said finally and his unscrupulous comment made Riku genuinely laugh, even though he's only buzzed on the champagne and the couple shots of bourbon he had earlier. Tidus stole one last kiss—hell, why the fuck not—before slipping off to the restroom.
–
Tidus' vision was a little hazy when he entered the men's room and he chalked it up to exhaustion because he knew he didn't have that much to drink. He picked a urinal to relieve himself at and the restroom was empty, except for one other person, and there was the faintest sound of music playing from a speaker hidden somewhere in the ceiling. The taste of champagne and Riku was still fresh on his lips and he grinned to himself.
Oh, Riku.
It's a shame how very little appreciation the man had for himself. He was so busy worrying about Sora, he won't let himself see anything else. But it's always been that way, especially when he and Sora first became a thing. It's funny how jaded being in a relationship can make a person.
The other person to his left finished and Tidus looked up, making brief eye contact and nearly laughed at himself. How he didn't realize Sora was right there the whole time was beyond him. Maybe his drink was a little stronger than he thought.
"Oh, hey, Sora."
Sora noded a tiny greeting, moving to the sink to wash his hands and Tidus couldn't help but think, 'That's it?' Man, Kairi wasn't kidding. The kid really had changed a lot. Tidus shook his head dismissively and turned his attention back to his own business.
A short beat of silence except for running water and Sora finally said something. "I didn't know you and Riku were seeing each other." He sounded farther away than he was, resigned and almost hesitant.
"Oh, you noticed that, huh?" Tidus zipped up and joined him at the sinks, eyes flicking habitually over his own appearance before he stuck his hands under the little automatic faucet. "Nah, we're not really seeing each other. Just kinda messing around, ya know?" He smirked, totally meaning it as a joke but when he glanced at Sora's reflection in the mirror, he's not exactly sharing the humor.
"Oh." Sora's eyes were kind of blank and at this point he's just running his clean hands under the water. If Tidus didn't know any better, he'd say he looked rather pissed off.
"Is that...okay?" Tidus frowned because he knows damn well he shouldn't have to ask something like that. He should not have to ask permission from Sora, of all people, to do whatever with Riku. That was just crossing a major boundary line into some weird and seriously creepy territory. Sora finally shook his head, still washing nothing from his hands.
"Sure, whatever." Shaking his head again, he finally pulled his hands out from under the faucet, drying them with a couple paper towels. "Why are you asking me that?"
Tidus shrugged. "You kinda sound like you have a problem with it." There was a flash of something in those blue eyes and this time, it was definitely hostile. Tidus wasn't exactly the greatest judge of body language, but he was willing to bet that was down-right anger.
"It's none of my business." Sora was balling up the paper towels and it was really hard not the notice the bitterness in his voice. Clearly, Riku wasn't the only one still attached to the past here.
"You sure? 'Cause I really don't things to be weird between us, Sora. I like you, you're a good friend of mine. I'd hate to ruin that."
Sora blinked, and there was a moment of intense silence where Tidus was sure the kid was about to deck him. But he didn't, to his relief. He just smiled a little and tossed the balled towels at the trash and missed.
"Of course it's okay. It's not like I can dictate his relationships." He laughed, but it's still strained, like it's taking everything he has not to fucking break something.
Tidus wanted to ask again, just make sure that it really is fine with it, but he's understandably apprehensive. Sora seemed a little drunk and it was starting to make a bit more sense why he was just washing his hands for, like, 5 whole minutes.
"Let's get you back to your husband, okay?" Tidus chuckled, making a small, half-hearted grab towards his arm, just to steer him out of the bathroom okay without stumbling into any walls, and Sora jerked away, all traces of laughter draining from his face.
Anger. Like, real anger. An emotion not typically found on a face like Sora's. And it looks just about as foreign there as every other negative emotion.
"I know where he is." Whoa.
"Yeah, okay." Tidus muttered dispassionately, seeing just about every word of their prior conversation for the utterly useless bullshit that it was. So much for things not being weird. Clearly, Sora has not let anything go yet, and it didn't look like he was going to any time soon.
–
Tidus wasn't gone very long before his seat was filled, the black dress pant clad knees of the stranger blocking Riku's aimless stare at the marbled floors. Still laughing inwardly at a comment Tidus made a few minutes before, Riku barely noticed the other person at first, blinking awkwardly when his name was spoken more than once.
A light chuckle and the awkwardness lessened enough for Riku to shake himself from his stupor and find the right words to say before he embarrassed himself further.
"Uh-hem- Hey." Flustered by his inability to form coherent, dignified responses, Riku finger-combs his bangs low over his eyes and tries to appear more sullen to avoid answering to the amused little smile on the blond's lips. He couldn't imagine why Evann insisted on talking to him so much. He thought he was being pretty obvious with his standoffish comments earlier, that he had no interest in a friendship of any kind.
"Heh, hi," Evann smiled—does he ever not?—and Riku was a little grateful he was keeping his distance, not completely seated, but his backside is more like, resting on the edge of the stool beside him. He crossed his arms over his chest and made a face, like he's uncomfortable, only it lasted just a second. "I, uh, wanted to apologize for Sora's behavior."
Riku frowned, curling his hands around his glass as he managed a questioning glance at the older blond. He began to tell him how unnecessary that was, but Evann's eyes were a little sad and it really didn't fit with the congenial personality he associated him with.
"I kinda feel like it's my fault. I mean, he was already nervous enough about coming tonight and then I just kept talking, and Sora always gets so-" He paused, realizing he was rambling and giving a lot more information than he really needed to. Grinning sheepishly, he scratched the back of his head in that totally adorable way that Sora did. Guess sometimes little habits rub off on people like that. "You used to have a relationship, didn't you?" He asked, finally getting to the point.
Riku was mildly surprised. He was sure every one had mutually decided to forget about that time of their lives, as his and Sora's relationship had negatively affected just about every person involved. Psychologically, anyway. But he had a feeling Evann had worked this one out on his own. Not that it was particularly difficult with the way they were acting towards each other.
"I figured that's why he wasn't talking to you. Sora's not usually that rude." Evann smiled, but it's a serious expression, solemn even. He eyed one of the larger paintings just beside the bar. Riku doesn't even have to look; he knew which one because he was making a point not to look at it. The image of him kissing Sora conjures up too many bad thoughts.
And he really wanted to confess the secret, just because it was killing him that he can't.
"You do beautiful work. Really." Evann commended, lowering his eyes a little and he looked at Riku's injured hand again, his fingers twitching slightly as if he wanted to touch it. Then he looked up and his eyes were benevolent and warm, and Riku just couldn't bring himself to hate him.
I've been fucking Sora.
And the words died on Riku's lips before they ever got the chance to cultivate, the insult still there, all the pain and anger and frustration, it was still coiled up and hidden, spitting venom and hissing. Only it was slightly smaller now, under such compassionate eyes. And Riku began to feel just a tiny, tiny bit guilty. "Thanks."
"I know it sounds a little asshole-ish, but I think if you didn't paint Sora so much," Referring to the S-series, an extended collection of every obsessed image of Sora Riku has put on canvas. "I don't think I would've really noticed him; he was so small and scared when we met." Riku flinched inwardly, but, for the sake of the conversation, kept his face impassive. "I guess I should thank you for that."
"That's okay." Riku muttered, really wishing he wouldn't, for his sanity. He buried himself in his drink and pretended like it doesn't matter, because there was just some things he did not need to hear, and Sora's husband thanking him for getting them together was definitely not one of them.
Fortunately for Riku, Evann didn't thank him, at least, not in so many words. He did gently touch his splinted fingers though, before smiling again. Then he moved off of Tidus' seat without another word and the guilt was like acid in Riku's stomach. If the prick would've been more...arrogant or jealous or, hell, taller, he could've hated him, easy. But he wasn't. He was like another Sora. Or, at least, who Sora used to be.
–
"Hehe...I forgot how tall you are." Tidus said with an ironic smile. His mutterings were the least of Riku's concerns though, as he tried to find a good way to position his legs without getting a fucking cramp. It really was awkward, they were a little too long to wrap around his waist so they kind of just stretch past him to rest on the mattress.
"Don't...Don't talk...not yet." A shiver teared up Riku's spine at his own words, and he tried to catch his breath because it seemed to be rushing out of him faster than he could replenish it. It had been a long time. A really long time since he'd ever been in any other position than top. Like, seriously, years.
"You okay?" Tidus asked eventually, leaning his elbow on the bed beside Riku's head. His lips were warm and soft, moist but not wet. He really was a good kisser, one of the pluses that kept Riku wanting to do things for him, not just like an open relationship, but, well, he hadn't really worked it out that far. He was just aware that he really liked being with Tidus.
"...Yeah." Riku's breath stuttered as it comes out because Tidus was a little heavy lying on top of him and he when he leaned that close he inadvertently pushed all the way in. A quiet hiss and he backed off, apologizing gently.
"I've always wanted to do this for really long time." Tidus confided softly, his fingers petting Riku's bangs while he got used to being filled. Riku sighed, finally relaxing enough to continue. It was a little embarrassing having to pause so long, but Tidus was patient and the hand in his hair and stroking the underside of his thigh was comforting.
Nodding his permission, Riku shook his bangs out of his eyes, laying his head back on his pillow. Tidus smirked just a little too excitedly; it was kind of comical, his wide, bright smile. He bore his weight on Riku's elevated legs, pushing them open. His smile eased up as his expression changed with concentration. The first thrust was slow, easy, and fluid, filling Riku's body with a familiar warmth that made him groan softly behind his teeth.
Encouraged, Tidus rolled his hips deftly, pushing that warmth deeper with a ecstatic sigh. His eyes rolled behind half-open lids and Riku touched his face, rubbing his cheek with his thumb. They share a look and Tidus smiled and shifted so he could tease his mouth with his own. Riku's hand slid his fingers around the back of his head, playing with his soft golden hair. A tongue pushed the seam of his lips and he granted it entrance, sighing. His breath still tasted like champagne and it was a good taste.
Sora's indifference began to fade from its place in the back of his mind as Tidus rocked gently against him, his long fingers curling around his erection, drawing a sharp gasp from Riku's throat. He pumped him skillfully in a way Sora never could, only because he's not Sora, he never has been.
His back arched and his head laying so far back that if his eyes were open, he'd be staring at the wall behind his bed, Riku let out a totally undignified whine as Tidus' hand moved more upward, away from his cock, following the dip of his stomach, feeling up his ribs, the planes of his chest, leaving him still painfully hard and groaning pathetically.
Riku writhed slightly, hinting that he should move past all this slow caressing and start easing into the rough shit. Tidus smirked, getting the message. He pushed forward on Riku's legs, changing the angle of thrusts, making each deeper and harder.
At the first quick snap of his hips, Riku's legs trembled a little at the sudden spike of hot pleasure tearing through his core, gripping Tidus' hips and urged them forward appreciatively. His heart was beating hard in his ears and the hands on his thighs were digging nails into his skin.
Tidus groaned harshly against his neck, clenching his teeth as he tried to control his breathing, eyes closed and head down, concentrating. He's all tanned, athletic gorgeousness, the muscles of his abdomen flex and contract with each movement, making him look like one of those porn gods your never think you could actually get into bed with you. It was this moment that makes Riku forget that Sora ever existed and all that ever mattered was a boy named Tidus and his hot hands and his gold hair, his Marine Biology degree, soft breathing and the hardness buried deep, deep inside him.
All that mattered was Tidus. Him, and the rapidly approaching orgasm that was agonizingly spreading through Riku's body like slow flame.
"Shit," Riku breathed finally, flopping back against mattress tiredly, his arms spread out at his sides. Tidus chuckled and draped himself over the other side of him, tossing the condom away. "I haven't been fucked like that since high school."
–
The sound of the shower running was a low noise in the background, drowned out by the canned laughter coming from the television speakers. Riku left it tuned to some sitcom and wandered to the kitchen to find something edible. Even though he just went to the store the day before, there really wasn't much, breakfast-wise anyway.
Toast and strawberry jelly. Good enough.
Riku was just loading the bread into the toaster and pushing the plunger down when his phone vibrated in his pocket, only once. A text message. He flipped his phone open as he's glancing through the refrigerator from the jelly, reading the number. It was unfamiliar, and when he opened the message, all it said was, "I'm coming up. - S" Sora?
Two minutes later, there was a knock on the front door and Riku left the chain on when he answered it, because, well, fuck if he taking any chances. He didn't exactly live in the most civil neighborhood.
"Open the door, Riku." Through the crack in the door, one sapphire eye glared back at him, its owner shifting their weight impatiently to the other foot. Yup, Sora.
"What're you doing here?" Riku asked after a delayed moment of shock as Sora kind of just barged in like he lives there and inspects the apartment like he was expecting to see someone. Tidus was still in the shower and a brief pang of inexplicable panic and guilt sprung forward from behind Riku's stomach. "Sora--"
Sora turned around after scanning the area, hands on his hips. It was kind of funny. For a whole two seconds. "Tidus? Really?" His voice is a little too scorned for Riku's liking, and he's still trying to figure out why the fuck that's any of his business.
"Maybe you didn't hear me. What the fuck are doing here?" It's hard to keep his voice from escalating, but this whole Sora-infidelity...thing has just gotten fucking ridiculous at this point. It was a soap opera now, silly and over-dramatic. And Sora was the diva, always slapping and calling everyone a bitch.
"So you're just fucking everybody now?" He hissed, narrowed eyes glittering dangerously with malice as stepped closer. He wasn't very tall so Riku had to look down to meet his gaze.
Riku snorted incredulously, laughing at him, laughing at the whole fucking situation. "You are insane." It was hilarious; it really was. Not just because it was stupid, but because he was married. He had no say in who or what Riku wanted to fuck on his spare time. "You're really fucking crazy, you know that? You need help, Sora."
Sora's glare was almost cute, and the fact that he couldn't even think up an insult in retaliation was even more adorable. Riku fought the urge to ruffle his hair because it really wasn't the time and place for it, instead walking over to the door and opening it for him. "Go home, Sora. Go home and have sex with your husband. I really think that's what you need right now."
"Don't tell me what I need." Sora sneered, not moving an inch, his expression still comically cute, in Riku's opinion. So non-threatening.
The shower stopped a while ago and the door to the bathroom just opened, and here Riku thought he could get rid of Sora before Tidus came out, and now he's really wishing he would've never let him enter in the first place. Because suddenly the face Sora was making was longer cute, but positively venomous.
"Get. Out." He snarled before Tidus could even assess the scene unfolding before and figure out what the hell was going on. Even from an outside point of view, you could see where this started to go horribly wrong. It happened around just about the same time Sora actually closed the five feet in between them, and everything just kind of teetered a little more when Tidus only challenged his threat.
"Uh...no." Stubborn, arrogant. Making the situation worse.
"It's been a few years, but I can still kick your ass." Sora declared, sizing him up, and it was like one of those yappy little dogs trying to take on something much larger than itself. Boys were so stupid sometimes.
The proverbial teetering turns to more violent jostling when the testosterone starts to take over and neither of them are really thinking clearly anymore.
"Yeah?" Tidus snorted derisively, his hackles prickling and arms tensing, and Riku remembered all the tan muscle he thought was so gorgeous earlier, and how dangerous this was getting for the both of them if either of them decided a fight was the only to settle this. Now was a good a time as any to step in.
Sora only just lurched forward, fist curled and ready to break something when Riku grabbed his arm and wrenched him back so hard he slammed into his chest. He didn't seem to care though, struggling forward with his other fist, eyes burning fiery electricity. Riku had to grab both arms, restraining him against his own body. Tidus never moved.
"Sora—Damn it, stop moving. What the hell are you thinking?"
Sora ignored him, still breathing hard, eyes still trained with immense hate on what used to be one of his friends. If Riku didn't already believe his past relationship with Sora was poisonous before, this little display certainly would've been very convincing.
"Ti, can you go?" Riku asked reluctantly, exasperated by Sora's constant control over everything in his life. He was giving him exactly what he wanted, for Tidus to be gone, because there was nothing else he could do. He couldn't just throw Sora out; he had a feeling Sora would just find some way to turn it back on him again if he did. "Tidus." Riku growled when the blond wasn't listening to him either. "Leave."
Tidus met his eyes for a second, his expression dark. He shook his head, scooping up his keys from where he left them the night before on the kitchen counter, muttering something about how fucked up this all was. Riku couldn't agree more.
"You're dead, asshole." Sora managed to get out once he got to the door, and Riku quickly clamped a hand over his mouth to keep him from spouting any more stupid typical male aggression and start the whole fight all over again. Tidus paused and nearly turned back, but a pleading look from Riku and he just laughed humorlessly to himself, banging the door behind him.
It was only after his footsteps could no longer be heard outside the door that Riku finally released Sora, shoving him forward so hard, he nearly slammed into the wall in front of them. He brought his arms up at the last moment to stop himself, scowling over his shoulder.
"Idiot." Riku hissed, ignoring his little temper flare. "You can't keep doing this." He declared, storming into the kitchen to get his fucking toast which had popped a long time ago and was most likely cold now. You gonna do this with every one I bring home? Huh? You gonna fight every person I've ever fucked?" He snorted at the ugliness of that statement, and how fucking true it probably was. He had no doubt Sora would eventually try to kill someone over him. "Goddammit, this isn't fucking normal, Sora. Can't you see that?"
Sora crossed his arms over his chest, leaning against the wall Riku threw him into. It's a long moment before he says anything, and when he does, Riku wished he really would've just kept his mouth shut.
"I love you."
Riku retrieved his toast, a little burned around the edges because the toaster is so cheap. "So?" He opens his refrigerator, looking for the jelly again. "It doesn't really matter much one-sided, Sora."
Sora slid down the wall and sat on the floor and Riku ignored him, making his breakfast. He licked the jelly off his fingers and returns the jar to the fridge. His toast was unappetizing sitting in the middle of his plate, cold and lonely by itself. He tears it in half and offers a piece to the brunet on the floor. Sora shook his head and Riku shrugged, putting it back on his plate and returning to the couch to half-heartedly watch whatever crap was on and eat his sad little breakfast.
Sora made a soft noise from the floor, and Riku told himself it sounded nothing like a sniffle and bites into his toast.
–
Whoo! 10,000 words! Longest chapter and personal record!
My smut seriously makes me wonder if anyone can write this stuff comfortably. I mean, smut doesn't bother me for real, but the word cock does sometimes. Makes me giggle a little.
So how did you enjoy the Riku/Tidus? I love Tidus, he just doesn't get as much "exposure" as he should in KH stories. He really is quite cute and fluffy. You seriously just wanna play with his hair all the time. So cute.
Poor Sora. He just keeps getting worse.
Side Note: Evann's name is derived from the Greek name Evangelos, meaning "good messenger". This is why he's typically described in kind of an angelic way, (ex: angel blond hair) because he's Sora's angel. (Awww...) Or is he? Hmm...think about that for a while.
Yeah, I do realize that Evann is kind of overly-perfect. It's intentional. Not only does his nature make him Riku's complete opposite, but his whole characterization is also his biggest flaw and greatest weakness. Don't ask. You'll see. - bouncy