Crawl (Carry Me Through)

She had gone through so much. She had been broken more times than once. And every time she had to try to put herself together again. Like a child, Claire felt as though she was crawling again. And then upon meeting Skye, she learned how to walk again.

By Adaelie

Author's Note; Yes, I am casting a bit of a darker side onto Claire. But when have I not? Anyway, I've finally got me a challenger! Ah, the song used is "Crawl (Carry Me Through)" by Superchick.

"How long will this take?
How much can I go through?
My heart, my soul aches
I don't know what to do
I bend, but don't break
Somehow I'll get through
Cause I have you"

How long would this take? Blue eyes full of hate and despair, she looked on. She stood uncomfortably in the crowd, blonde hair covering her eyes. How many weddings had there been already? How many weddings had she had to suffer through? How many times… how many times did she have to see to make up for all the people she hurt? All the people she had run down in her mad dash for something that didn't even belong to her. The love of another. She knew this was going to happen sooner or later. She knew it all along. She often regretted leaving the city, especially now. For she knew that at this moment, there would no longer be any bachelors left in Forget-Me-Not Valley. The girl contemplated leaving, moving on to somewhere else. Where there would be fewer scars, less pain. It would have hurt less if she had left earlier. Her heart ached as she watched sadly from the sidelines as Rock was being married. To be honest, she wasn't really sure she loved him. But what chance did she have now? Claire would be alone. That was how it was meant to be, wasn't it? At any pace, had she left now; her farm and everything she worked for would have gone to waste.

They were never meant to be.

She never loved him, did she? She just didn't want to be alone. The blonde girl had nearly forgotten to breathe, but her heart had felt as though it finally stopped. As though it finally gave up. She didn't know what to do anymore. People left the beach, following Rock and Lumina to the reception. She didn't know what to do. She wasn't sure why she held on. But, if she denied herself even this glimmer of a relationship, what hope did she have? She would just fall. Who would be there to catch her? She felt as though she were a piece of metal beaten at too many times. Bending, contorting itself into something unmistakably dark, nothing that anyone would recognize. It would never break though. Much to Claire's despair. Thoughts of suicide were no stranger to her, but perhaps that was a darker part of her mind.

She shook her head, as tears came flooding to the edges of her eyes. The girl could feel her knees buckle as she fell to the sand, hands engulfing her face as she cried. "Fair maiden, what evil had come upon you to make you cry so miserably?" The blonde haired girl lifted her head from her hands, as she lifted her reddened eyes to return the thief's emerald gaze. "It's nothing, it's nothing at all." She mumbled, taking in a sharp breath to regain her composure. "It didn't seem like that from what I had seen, my lady." He held out his hand, while the other rested on her shoulder. Claire took his hand gratefully, pulling herself onto her feet.

She hadn't realized night had fallen. Had she been crying for that long? Claire had nearly forgotten that night fell much faster during the fall, and she stifled a little giggle. Her chest hurt, and she was certainly not in the mood for laughter. Her legs quivered, as though she were going to fall apart at any second. "It's nothing…" She answered now, although he gave her another glance; not believing her lie for a second. Claire bit her lower lip again, trying to hold back the tears before falling her head onto his shoulder and crying. Just crying.

The thief looked almost surprised as she cried into his shoulder. He had half a mind to run off, but a gentleman would not leave a young maiden crying all to herself. Especially at this time of night. "It'll be alright, my dear. It'll be okay. It'll be okay." He whispered into her ear, patting the girl gently on the back. "I'll be here for you; it's going to be okay." Such a bold promise to be made. But something inside him, something compelled him to say such a thing. Something about her was so intoxicating; it blurred his senses and made him feel like he had to do whatever he could to please her. To make her happy, to keep her from crying the way she did. "I'm sorry, I'm so… so sorry." She sobbed into his shoulder.

Claire could imagine how selfish she was being. Crying over lost loves that she had never even loved in the first place. Where had it started? And where had it ended? Where along the line had she finally lost her place? Had the idea of love been nothing… but a dream? Something that she could only hope for? "You'll get through this, dear. You'll get through this."

"How do you know? How do you know I'll be okay?"

"Because you have me."

"And if I had to crawl
Well you'd crawl too
I stumble and I fall
Carry me through
the wonder of it all
is you see me through"

She was crawling. It felt like she was crawling all over again. She felt as though she was losing meaning, simplicity. It was slowly getting harder to get up in the morning. He knew that much. Every time he would wake up in the morning, often earlier than when she would wake up so that he wouldn't be caught and she wouldn't be hurt, the silver-haired thief would see her crying. And often, he was the one who had to wipe the tears away, and sometimes accidentally waking up the blonde farmer girl. He didn't understand why she was this way. He'd show up to comfort her at times, talking to her, letting her vent out her emotional pains. The more and more he listened of her hardships, he began to realize how absolutely selfish and delicate this beauty could be. He understood though.

She was in pain. And the more and more he sat there, holding her to keep her from falling apart; he grew hardened to the rest of the community. It had almost literally become a daily thing, him coming to see her; making sure she didn't try to kill herself. He had promised that he would be there for her. He had promised.

She was crawling. Claire knew that much. It was like she was falling more than she was walking. She had become like a plant growing in the dark. Broken up and twisted. But he was willing enough to help a selfish person like herself. Somehow, she would learn how to walk again. How to feel complete, without the pain she so often expected. But, as long as she was crawling; Claire was almost certain that Skye would crawl too. She'd stumble and fall onto the ground, crying out for her sanity to come back; but he'd carry her through. It was amazing, the way he made sure she got through every day. He was such a sweetheart, the way he took care of her. The way he'd go out of his way to make her feel so much better.

He had slowly become her only reason to live.

"O Lord, where are you?
Do not forget me here
I cry in silence
Can you not see my tears"

Harvest Goddess, where were you? Where were you while she cried? Where were you when you saw her breaking apart, falling to pieces… dying? Where were you? You had forgotten her, hadn't you? You had forgotten about the blonde farmer girl, the one who was working so hard to bring you here. The one who worked so hard to make you remember that she was here. But no, you let her cry in the silence; let her die a little inside every day. Even with me there, I could only try. But trying is never good enough. It's never good enough for you, is it? It never is. What's wrong with you? Leaving her there? To break apart and crumble until her insanity drove her to her death?

Harvest Goddess, where are you? Don't forget me here like you did with her. Don't let me forget her. Just please, don't let me forget her. "Isn't that the thief that's been stealing our things?!" One of them shouted, and I turned my head to look over at the angry villagers. Rain fell down from overhead as I held onto my Claire, my beautiful, selfish, angry Claire. Her blonde locks, once so full of life in the pictures I had seen of her, seemed limp and dead. She was so pale now, so cold. I touched her face gently, and she didn't react. The burn of the rope was still there around her neck, all I could do was pray to the goddess that she hadn't died yet. That I had come to her home in time. Tears slid down my face as I cried in silence.

Harvest Goddess, spare her, don't let me forget her the way I had forgotten what it meant to be in love. She had to be alive, she had to be.

But even that sad fact was doubtless now, as I cradled her in my arms; and the villagers looked at the blonde with remorse. They looked at me, and one screamed. "What are you still doing here? Run to the doctor, they could save her!" My legs wouldn't move, and I held out her body for someone else to carry her towards the doctor's. They all left one by one, and I collapsed to the ground; face held in my hands as I cried.

I loved her. And she couldn't leave me now.

"When all have left me
and hope has disappeared
you'll find me here"

"Clear!" Dr. Hardy exclaimed, pressing the pads against her chest and she reacted for a moment. Her heartbeat was no longer going. My face was pressed up the glass window in the door, and I just stood there now. My Claire. My beautiful Claire, you had to be alive. You had to be alive. All hope had left me though; this was at least the second time they had tried to bring her back. To make her alive again. She couldn't leave me now. I need her.

"Clear!" Her heartbeat started again for a moment, just a moment; and she tilted her head to look at me. With what little strength she had left, she smiled at me and mouthed the words, thank you, to me. "Claire… CLAIRE!" I screamed, but she couldn't hear me.

Beep…beep… beep…

"DON'T GIVE UP ON ME NOW CLAIRE! I LOVE YOU!"

Beep… beep, beep…

…

She could finally walk again.

Author's Note; Alright, a bit of a sad one, but I enjoyed writing it nevertheless. I'll try to come up with a more cheery one for the next few, thanks for reading! About my challenger, I'm not so sure if she's going to actually start it, but check out Shimmerleaf. She beating me yet?