Cast in order of appearance: Ed, Envy, Al, Wrath
Ed enters holding a large piece of paper
Envy jumps from nowhere
Envy: PIPSQUEAK!!!!!
Ed jumps
Ed: AHHHH!! Envy don't ever do that!
Envy: But it's too much fun!
Ed: … Palm tree head.
Envy: What was that?
Ed: Nothing.
Envy: So why'd you what me to meet you here.
Ed holds up paper
Ed: It's Hohenheim's will.
Envy: Dude! He's dead?!
Ed: Read the top.
Envy (reading): "If I should ever happen to be shoved through the gate by Dante, separating my body, mind, and soul I leave this will to my sons." What a rip off.
Envy throws will back in Ed's face
Ed: Well he left something to all of us, but I couldn't find my brother so I'll just tell him later.
Envy: What'd I get?
Ed (reading): "To my oldest homunculus son I leave my shoe closet and all its contents."
Envy point to door
Envy: This one?
Ed: *nod*
Envy: Alright! Let's see what's in this thing!
Ed: As if there was ever any question.
Envy: Well ya never know!
Envy opens door
Al: Hi Envy!
Envy slams door
Other side of closet door: Envy?
Envy opens door again
Envy: Who is it?
Al: Me.
Envy: Why?
Al: Hohenheim left me to you as your personal slave.
Envy (looking around Al): Anything else in here?
Al: Nope just me.
Ed: Man I hate that guy.
Wrath runs in and clings to Ed's arm
Wrath: What'd he leave me?! What'd he leave me?!
Ed: Wrath for the last time! He did not know you!
Wrath: No fair! No fair! Izumi would've left me something!
Ed: Izumi is not dead!
Wrath: So what, she will be in the movie.
Ed: Then go hang around waiting for her to die, would ya?!
Wrath: I'd rather stay here.
Al (still telling Envy his policies): I work weekends and weekdays, but no time after eight. I can cook and clean, but I won't wear a flowered apron.
Envy: No seriously, anything else in here?
Ed: Drop it Al, you're not going to work for Envy.
Al: Oh but I have too.
Ed: …Whatever.
Envy: What'd he leave you pipsqueak?
Ed looks down at will
Ed (reading): "To my middle son-"
Envy: And least favorite.
Ed: …. *continues reading* "I leave my wide assortment of hair products." …. Okay now it's official, I am his least favorite.
Envy: At least I got a servant.
Al (still rambling): I can buy my way from service to you by whatever price you set, but only if working conditions are poor-
Envy: Anybody got duct tape?
Al: I have duct tape.
Ed: Why?
Envy: Good.
Takes duct tape and puts a piece over Al's mouth
Envy: He left me you… what am I gonna do with a kid-servant…? Wait, I know…. Gimme your clothes.
Thirty seconds later
Al (standing in his boxers): I feel a draft.
Envy (in Al's clothes): Not bad, you have a nice style.
Ed throws Al his cloak
Ed: Wish I could say the same about you. Okay, and *begins reading* "To my youngest son I leave all the contents of my second shoe closet."
Al: Oh boy!
Al runs to the second closet and opens it
Al: … Brother… um….
Ed walks over
Ed: What's in here-… oh my god!
Envy: Dude! This must be the shoe closet that was left to me!
Al: No way! This is the second one!
Envy: Says who?!
Al: There's a big number two on the door!
Ed: Well I guess we know who Hohenheim liked best….
Inside: *racks of jewelry and gold bars*
Envy (thinking): If I'm mean enough to pipsqueak's brother, he'll have to buy his way out of indentured service to me…!
Envy: Hey Al.
Al: Yeah Envy-? *hit over the head with a frying pan*
Envy: Do my laundry.
Al: Ow! Envy that h-! *hit again with frying pan*
Envy: Do the dishes.
Al: Stop it Envy-! *hit again*
Envy: Make me a sandwich.
Al: Just take it!
Envy: Thanks!
Ed: You can't do that-! *hit over the head with a rod iron chair*
Fin
Hi guys, a little gag for everyone out there! Please review (reviews are better than ice-cream)
Kentucky: You lied.
Did not!
Kentucky: You said the last one would be the last chapter.
Well I just decided to do another, sue me!
Kentucky: Don't worry, I already have my lawyer on the phone.
………. RUN!