Hi, there. Welcome back. This story needs fluffiness, no? My exact thoughts. Let's see if I can pull it off.
Full Summary: In the uncertain world of adults, Sora and Riku attempt to patch together their shaky relationship after almost 5 years apart. It's about love and hate and lost trust, set in a world where the magic has run dry and the boys see each for who they really are. The tension doesn't last for long, however, as both men fall into a routine that they both know very well. Along the way, they become reacquainted with the old qualities that brought them together, while familiarizing themselves with the individuals that each person has become.
Warnings: Language, Riku taking initiative, Evann's other face, Good Ole Smut, Memories of teenage fooling around
Disclaimer: None of the characters within this fanfic belong to me. If it did, this would be a full length movie with all smexy-slashy-yaoiness I could legally fit onto a single DVD. Kingdom Hearts is a lovely invention of Square Enix.
Hypervigilance
Chapter 11: Insecurity
-
It was the fifth out of seven rent-controlled apartments Riku had been shown over the weekend, and by far his favorite. From the back, through the two-story windows, there was an incredible view of the ocean, one he couldn't wait to show Sora once he got around to moving in. He could pull the vertical blinds open and they could watch the sunset together over the horizon, which would eventually lead to careful affectionate touching, and all the other things that went along with romantic evenings. The thought was nicely lifting to Riku's mood.
The sound of Sienna's smart, pinstriped power heels—matching clutch included—echoed charmingly off the paper mache white walls, the large, bare expanse of oak floor that, at some point, bled into a Bay Rum berber carpet. She dumped her clutch and keys on the white granite countertop of the island dividing the kitchen and the living area, the thud of thick glass ringing dully as she swung a rather large bowl from underneath her arm, looking relieved to finally be able to put it down.
"Your housewarming gift." Sienna announced with a unimpressive flourish of her hands, digging through her tiny purse with the tips of her manicure. She retrieved a paper folded letter-style and opened it up, spreading it across the counter.
Riku inspected his "gift", staring straight down inside the bowl, the sloshing of the water inside revealing little more than a dark blot at the bottom. He lightly fingered the surface of the water, the blot propelling itself lazily in a circle away from the disturbance.
"It's a...fish." He said finally, watching the egg-shaped mutant wiggle in circles, its large, bulbous, protruding eyes blinking placidly at the inside of its too-small home.
"It's called a Black Moor goldfish. Ugly fuckers. Ex-boyfriend bought me one a year ago." The woman explained, reading her paper, flipping through a few pages. The golden walnut at the back of her head was exceptionally high today. "Dropped the boyfriend, kept the fish." She shrugged. "Best friend I ever had. The fish, I mean, not the boyfriend."
Riku smirked, eyeing his newfound pet. It swam and stared, and not much else. "Ah."
"Sign here." Sienna instructed, pushing the paper and a pen across the counter, long nail indicating the line. It was a lease. "Exciting, isn't it?" She added as Riku picked up the pen, curling his fingers around it in preparation to write. Her smile was lacking its usual vicious ambition, leaning more toward girlish happiness again. Riku found he quite enjoyed this new side of her; it made her much more approachable.
"It is exciting." Riku scrawled his quick, tight-lettered signature, and his manager folded it back up, stuffing it back in her purse.
"There. All yours." The woman said, snapping her clutch closed. It all felt a little too quick, and for a long second Riku just stood there and glanced around. At the high ceilings, the black iron spiral staircase leading to the loft above. A very minimalist fireplace tucked away in the wall. It was such a cliché artsy apartment, and it was all his.
The window on the far side of the room was propped open, the sounds from the street five stories below just loud enough to hear. There was a festival or something, some kind of celebration of summer, Riku recalled. It was a mainland tradition for as long as he could remember. And Sora's favorite.
As he reminisced about the last festival he and Sora went to together, Sienna toed her power heels off, padding barefoot across the oak floors to the window, to lean out and see the sizable parade below. Her toenails were painted navy, like her eyeshadow.
Sora was sixteen. Riku could remember the sheen of sweat on the back of his neck, the color of his skin as it grew to healthy tan under the mid-summer sun. The brilliance of his eyes, the same shade as the festival banners. The dip of his collarbone, the long lines of his still-defining arms. He could practically envision the slenderness of his waist, the feel of his hair, warm and soft under his palms. Between his fingers.
Sienna turned in the center of the floor, her bare feet keeping her steady. She turned, holding her arms up and out in front of her as if she were with a dance partner. The music from the festival slowed, playing an elegant melody that Riku vaguely recognized.
"I had a boyfriend who taught a ballroom dancing class." She told Riku, moving backwards and to the side, and forward, all in one fluid circle. "You dance, Rikki?" She asked him, her arms reaching for Riku now. He admired her navy blue fingernails, the feminine hands they were attached to.
"Not a lot." Riku admitted, taking her hand. It nearly disappeared in his. He hadn't had a whole lot of experience holding a woman's hand, so he had never really noticed the significant difference in size before. Nor had he really noticed the height difference much either. Sienna only came about to the middle of his chest. He placed a hand on her back, hers on his neck.
Riku could clearly remember the curve of Sora's lips, the taste of all the sugary festival treats on his tongue. The smooth bumps of his teeth that bit lightly at Riku's fingertips. He laid the younger teen back in the grass far from the crowds, all of them too distracted to notice two boys expressing their as-of-then still unknown love for each other.
"One, two, three..." Sienna counted quietly under her breath at first, before they came into the rhythm of the song and Riku noticed for the first time the woman's eyes are a light hazel. They turned and spun to the festival music, dancing. "You're my first success story, Rikki." She confided, long nails idly playing in the strands of hair hanging around his ears. They stepped and turned, dancing in a kind of spinning square, the familiar box-step of the waltz. She smiles. "I'm so proud of you."
The tiniest creases appeared at the corner of her eyes when she smiled. Riku would never tell her, but she reminded him a lot of his mom.
In the deserted corner of the park, no one noticed when Riku pushed up Sora's sweat-damp t-shirt to his solar plexus, running his palm flat down the tightened muscles of his abdomen. He could remember exactly how Sora gasped in his mouth, how he dug his fingers in the grass, tearing huge clumps out at his sides. How he arched and pushed himself up and spread his knees apart. How his hardening arousal felt slick and hot wrapped in Riku's hand. It didn't matter that they were in public.
"All the good men are gay." Sienna said at some point, smiling at his shoulder. "I find that completely unfair." Step, step, turn.
"We're not all good." Riku assured her, spinning her out away from his body and back again. Some of us are adulterers or incredibly selfish. Or confrontational. Or insensitive.
"Don't tease me." She muttered good naturedly, lightly smacking his arm. Step, step, turn.
Sora shivered despite the heat, his fingers curling at his sides. His lips were parted, and his eyes uncertain. Riku only had to tell him how beautiful he was to reassure him. Reassure him that he didn't just get him off in public for some twisted sexual thrill. He did it because he loved him. Riku could clearly remember how Sora blushed, somehow managing a shy smile through his embarrassment.
The song ended and Sienna stepped away, soundless from her lack of shoes. She let down her hair and returned to the counter, seating herself on the cool stone surface. Minding the ugly fish beside her, of course. "How do you feel about blind dates?"
She'd asked him this question before. Several times. And always, Riku's answer was something along the lines of, "Fuck that."
"I'm...not single." Riku said finally, with some difficulty, unimpressed with the surprise on her face after he said it.
"You're not?" Sienna blurted in almost like disbelief, pausing as she snapped open her purse. Her manicured fingernails stopping just above the clasp. Her hair fell over her eyes, making her look like a younger version of herself.
"Not really." He attempted to clarify, failing when he couldn't think of anything else to say after that. How does one explain that there was a line just to be with his boyfriend? That he had to wait behind another man before he confidently say that Sora was his and only his?
"So...you're not really single?" The woman resumed searching for whatever she was trying to find. Pulling out a little white compact, she studied her face in the tiny mirror. "Or not really not single? How's that work?"
"I'm not really not—I'm seeing someone. Kind of." He tacked the words on the end reluctantly, finding he was making this conversation more complicated than it had to be.
"Sounds difficult." Sienna muttered, wiping this circle-shaped pad on her face.
"It is."
"Sora?" She asked, knowingly. Who didn't know that he was forever infatuated with Sora?
Riku sighed, resigned. "Yeah."
"Good for you." Sienna smiled, replacing her compact and now uncapping a light pink lipstick tube for reapplication. "Sora's a total cutie. You're lucky." She wiggled her navy painted toenails and Riku couldn't help but think something was considerably different about his usually abrasive manager. He just hadn't figured it out yet.
"Yes." Riku smiled despite himself. "Yes, I am."
–
"It is nice." Kairi complimented, admiring the high ceilings. Her lips were dyed red by her cherry snow cone, making her look a bit like one of those collectible figurines with the painted on lipstick.
Sora nodded in agreement, following her gaze up, spooning dark purple-colored ice in his open mouth. It was only appropriate that they enjoy the summer festival before heading upstairs to the apartment, and the heat wave that was plaguing the mainland lately made it imperative to purchase sugary, over-sized snow cones. Riku ordered cherry, same as Kairi, except with a splash of lime in the center.
While Riku making a comment about the new added bonus of air conditioning his apartment had now, Sora made a pitiful attempt at being inconspicuous, trying to steal a spoonful of cherry while Riku wasn't paying attention. He laughed, smiling cheekily when he was caught.
"Fatty." Riku muttered humorously, poking at his lean side with the back of his plastic spoon. Sora made a noise of protest, his mouth too full to form actual words. Though he knew he really shouldn't, especially in their present company, but Riku couldn't help but want to kiss him, he was just so nostalgically adorable. Just a light press of his lips to Sora's slightly grape snow cone colored ones, quick, but just lingering enough to be properly affectionate. Not long enough to taste though, but Riku imagined they were very sweet.
Sora shivered a little—from the ice or the kiss, Riku wasn't sure—his eyes narrowing in a way that almost made Riku do the same. It was one of those looks, hot and sexy and passionate, conveying more than just his usual playfulness. It reminded Riku that it had been a considerable amount of time since he had last felt him up and pushed him against something hard, fumbling in an attempt to rip through his clothes. They just didn't have a quite enough moments like that.
"Just 'cause I know about you guys doesn't mean you don't have to hide it anymore." Kairi spoke to the ceiling, giving it the pointed look of disapproving anxiety that she didn't have the courage to turn on them.
Sora at least had the decency to apologize, though not as sincerely as he could've. He stole another spoonful of Riku's cherry-lime ice, only instead of eating it himself, he offered it back, holding in level with Riku's mouth instead. He smiled and waited, expectantly holding his hand out a few inches from his face. Riku liked this side of him, when he could just be happy. Flirtatious, even.
Sora was paying so much attention to Riku's every movement—waiting to see if he would actually allow himself to be fed—that it was practically bordering on perversion. It was a little hard not to notice how enraptured he was watching the way Riku leaned forward, his lips parting, tongue stretching out unnecessarily far to cradle the bowl of the plastic spoon and guide it back to his mouth. His eyelids dropped down to a look that held so much lust, it was sinful. Riku offhandedly wished they had a little less Kairi hanging around so they could play with their snow cones in a more creative, albeit stickier fashion. Something that involved no clothes and licking grape-flavored juice off of various parts of Sora's body.
"Like that?" Sora asked, his voice mildly teasing.
"Bet you'd taste better." Riku managed a husky murmur, licking his lips clean. Sora shivered again, jamming his spoon in his mouth, worrying it between his teeth. Cute.
"Seriously. Stop." Kairi said, finally able to work up the nerve to actually glare at the both of them. There was no intensity in her eyes though, just a fear that she hadn't let go of yet. She'd told Riku how nervous she'd been since their lunch date, constantly afraid to hear that Sora and Evann were really getting divorced. Why she was so upset about this, Riku had no idea, but he figured it had something to do with the fact that Evann was most likely one of her friends now. Still, she was his and Sora's friend first, so...forget him, right?
"Sorry, Kai." This time, it was Riku's turn to half-heartedly apologize. Kairi looked less than amused.
He couldn't blame her though. She wasn't the only one nervous here. Riku was only hiding it much better, the anticipation that was growing more and more intense with every chance he got to hold Sora in his arms. Each kiss was like he was gradually stealing him away from his husband. It was only a matter of time. Especially with the 'present' he going to unload on him today, but Riku didn't want to think about that too much—he'd probably just end up panicking and losing his nerve.
Sora laughed innocently around the plastic in his mouth, sliding from the stool he had been sitting on, moving to the other side of the granite countertop. He removed the spoon, clicking it against the glass fish bowl, failing to startle the dreary creature swimming placidly around the bottom.
"Ugly, isn't it?" Riku muttered, leaning an elbow on the counter beside the almost spherical bowl.
Still tapping the glass, Sora said, "It's not that ugly." Watching the fish wiggle and bob around in its confined living space, he peered at Riku through the bowl. "What's his name?"
Riku shrugged. "It's just a fish."
"So?" Sora raised his head, frowning. "It still deserves a name." He insisted, his voice oddly righteous sounding despite the topic of their discussion. Riku couldn't figure out why it mattered that much.
Riku considered this for a second, considered the fact that he really cared very little for the poor thing. He hadn't even sprung the frivolous amount of munny it would take to buy it a bigger tank yet. "You name it then."
Sora grinned, ducking down to stare into the side of the deep, rounded bowl. He pushed his hair behind his ear, looking very thoughtful. His diamond earring sparkled from the other side of the glass, the new tattoo of crawling stars barely visible beneath his collar. Riku figured if it was that important to him, Sora should be the one to give the droopy little thing a title. Because Sora looked pleased at the opportunity to name his pet. Their pet?
Kairi gave him a look that really could've meant anything, just a brief flash of eyes and an ever-present frown. Then she smiled, a small one, because she can't hold that disappointed face for too long, joining Sora in staring at the black mass of fish.
It was unanimously decided after much deliberation that its name should be Pudge. Sora said it was very fitting. Truthfully, Riku thought it was a little useless to name a fish, but for Sora's sake he didn't say anything. As long as he was happy, it didn't matter what Riku thought.
He absolutely refused to call it Pudge though. Out loud, anyway.
–
"Wow," Sora breathed, crystal eyes alight with all the wonder and amazement that someone of his age could muster without seeming like a five-year-old, leaning on his palms out the open window. Heat and humidity and jaunty festival music swirled up from the street below, leaving Sora in a kind of a wind-swept awe, his skin glowing like warm, café latte silk in the sunlight. "Look, Riku. The ocean looks so big from up here, doesn't it?"
Endless. Infinite.
"Yeah." Was all Riku managed to reply, and he snuggled up behind him, his hands on his slender hips, moving downward, backward, forward. It hardly mattered, each direction on Sora's body took his hands somewhere they longed to be. Whether it was in the front, caressing underneath his sun-warmed shirt to touch the flat, tightened abdomen. Or the back, in between them, to cup his firm ass in an indulgent squeeze. The closeness was everything to Riku.
"How far do you think it goes?" Sora mused, reacting appropriately to Riku's advances by reaching a hand back to tangle his fingers in pale, luminescent hair, bringing his head back to rest on Riku's shoulder.
"Don't know." Riku muttered against his neck, less concerned about where the bounds of the ocean went than where he could take the small affectionate exchange he was being allowed. There weren't very many options without the necessary bedroom furniture, but Riku figured with the right amount of leverage and persuasion, they could manage.
Sora must've been ignoring the light presses of lips on his neck because he wasn't really saying anything, just staring languidly out the window, pondering the edges of the world. And Riku really couldn't have that. Especially when he was fervently trying to work up a better reaction than the soft petting fingers in his hair. Not that he didn't enjoy the petting. No, he loved that.
"Lot on your mind, Sora?" Riku inquired softly, watching Sora's profile morph soundlessly from peaceful happiness to a look of equally peaceful contemplation. The little frown on his lips was a shame though. Riku missed his smile.
"Mm." Sora hummed quietly, his fingers tightening just slightly in his hair. He watched the ocean, the waves growing smaller the farther out in the ocean where he was looking, making the water resemble a large pane of rippling glass. "Every thing's going to change, isn't it?"
Riku sampled the soft skin behind his ear, liking the fact that it got Sora to jump a little. "You've asked me that before, Sora." He pointed out, finding that his hands had been immobile much too long, taking a newfound interest in the dip of muscle where Sora's hips met legs, and all the sinfully warm skin attached to it.
"Did I?" Sora muttered finally, sounding just a bit too breathless for someone standing still. From his profile view, Riku could see that his eyes had closed, almost fully, but not quite, leaving a thin strip of hazy blue to stare at the nothing before him. "And what did you say?"
Riku experimented with his hands, varying from teasing, trailing fingertips to the press of his whole palm against the flat of his stomach, right where the bumps of his ribs ended. "It has to."
"It has to." Sora repeated several times as if playing with the sound of the words, how different it sounded coming from his own mouth. He grabbed one of Riku's hands as it made a second passing up his side appreciatively, over his ribs, lightly massaging his chest. He laced their fingers together, holding their entwined hands at his his hip. "You're going to save me this time?"
Riku snorted. "This time? I don't recall you ever saving me."
"Plenty of times." Sora concluded, his voice quiet and not tired, but comfortable. And that was important. Riku needed him to feel comfortable. Just enough to relax him completely, and finally let down the guard he probably thought no one could tell that he had.
Sora turned in the embrace that was just loose enough to allow him movement, readjusting their hands so their palms were closer and pressed firmly together. It was this small gesture that caused a slow grin to form on Riku's face, Sora reciprocating his enthusiasm with his own beautiful smile. There were very few things on the planet that could honestly compete with how gorgeous Sora could be without even trying. At least, that's how it was in Riku's opinion, anyway. Sora was perfection.
Warm from the sun and just plain body heat, Sora sneaked a light brush of his lips against Riku's neck as he leaned in, their chests pressed flat together. Riku gently touched his back, running his palm from his shoulderblade to the narrower small of his spine. Fingers lingering above the waistband of his jeans. It would be so easy to just slip under the fabric. Some well-practiced movements and Sora could be little more than a puddle of warm, lazy happiness in his lap.
"Sorry..." Sora muttered in the space between Riku's collarbone and chin, burying his forehead there in some kind of defeated slump.
"For what?" Riku managed, breath catching a little as he was sure that was Sora's tongue that just momentarily flickered over his throat.
"Making you wait." He said eventually. His eyes seemed kind of lost before he found a place to settle them, deep in Riku's, staring back. There were a million words of love that they both could speak right then, cheesy phrases, heartfelt promises. "I missed you."
But rather than inquiring after any explanations of what exactly Sora meant by that, Riku only grasped the back of his neck so he couldn't apologize anymore. He seemed a little surprised by the sudden movement, faltering for a few frozen seconds before he realized that Riku meant for him to kiss back. His mouth was soft, slowly moving into a oddly hesitant rhythm at first. Rubbing firm, yet encouraging circles at the base of his neck, Riku loosened Sora up enough to push the little soft kiss into something deeper and hotter.
Riku was aware of how well their mouths fit together in such a tight embrace, so close. The way his lips moved was electric, always with the whisper of tongue just waiting there behind his teeth. Every kiss with Sora was this way, amazing, even the small ones. Sora's mouth pressed, pulled back with a brief breath of warmth, then pressed again, softer. Then harder. Something was different about how he moved, there was a minuscule amount of caution in every little lingering touch.
Riku tried not think about that too much. There was an urge to move to get Sora against something—not that it was impossible to properly make out without being a complete male and pinning Sora against a counter or a wall, Riku just found it more comfortable. He could get closer that way. And closer almost always meant good.
"...Sora." Riku began, unsure of what to say after that. He just felt the need to say something, anything. Sora's name was the most familiar thing he could think of. He flailed mentally for a second, his mind much too preoccupied in chocolate brown and the taste of grape and cherry, in skin both hot and slick, and goosebumped for no apparent reason, to think about the amount of strength he used to push both of their bodies to a surface more sturdy and vertical than open air.
"M-Man." Sora managed to breathe out, his voice a little muffled by t-shirt, by the way he slumped to bury his face in Riku's shoulder. Knowing Riku's luck, he wouldn't be surprised if he knocked the wind out of the poor kid.
"Shit...You okay?"
"Great." Sora chuckled, probably for Riku's sake, failing to hide the smallest cringe afterward. "Hey." He leaned his head back, pressing his lips lightly to Riku's, with enough pressure to encourage more than idle standing and contemplating the bump he may or may not have inflicted on the back of Sora's skull. His hesitance and caution dwindled, becoming something that was just pushed to the background, forgotten. It was clear they both wanted more of what they were doing before the impact with the wall, falling easily back into their respective grooves. Sora between the charming taupe paint and Riku's chest. Riku leaning slightly over him, arms snaking around his torso. It was more convenient that way.
Sora smelled vaguely of the hickory smoke from the all the grilled food at the festival. Riku wouldn't be surprised if he smelled the same, but still he breathed deeply at the skin of his neck and softness of his hair, nostalgic already. It was a strange habit of his, but sometimes Riku just really liked the scent of Sora.
His mouth found a familiar spot that he often used to make Sora all keyed up, his body locking and his lips pressing together in a tight line. He clenched his jaw to hold in sounds Riku just knew he couldn't resist making for long, eyes rolling just a little behind half-closed lids. Between the tiny whimpers that were surely embarrassing to Sora's masculinity and subtle jerks of his lithe hips at the briefest touches to his hypersensitive areas—the corners of his abdomen, where the junction of his leg and hip formed—it was clear that Riku picked an appropriate room to mess around in.
Riku wondered if it had fully occurred to Sora yet, that he wasn't just showing him the apartment in a "Look what I got" fashion. It was more along the lines of "Look what I got for you, baby. Don't you just love it? Can't you already imagine us living here together?" Yes, it was a bit desperate, but Riku wanted him to feel like it was his already; he wanted so badly for Sora to feel like he was home, here in their seaside apartment with the spectacular view of the ocean that was only a 15 minute walk away, here in his arms, pressed against the wall in the room that would conceivably be their bedroom.
Reacting to his wandering hands, Sora arched his back, solidly pushing forward, his body undulating in a way that was just amazing.
Exercising what little self-control he had left at that point, Riku managed to disentangle himself from Sora and all his lovely, attractive warmth, despite every natural instinct in his body drawing itself back. He needed to tell him everything now, before he got too caught up to remember why he brought him to the apartment and this particular room in the first place. He had something very important he needed to say, and then they could get back to kissing and whimpering and touching each other all they wanted.
"...What?" Sora questioned, sounding a little lost as Riku pulled himself away. His hands were still reaching forward, touching nothing as if he were still caressing and grasping like before. He frowned, hair looking windswept, and shivering despite the heat from outside creeping in. "What's wrong?"
"Nothing." Riku told him, his smile more confident than he was. When they were still pressed together and groping each other, everything seemed a lot more conceivable to him. Sora was warm, happy putty in his hands and there was very little risk of rejection. But now that he wasn't, instead wearing a perturbed frown, arms slowly floating down to his sides as he waited from for an explanation, Riku wasn't so sure. He made a mental note to never do that again. "I wanted to, um, give you something."
Sora arched a eyebrow, tonguing the corner of his now lonely mouth. Seriously. Never do that again. "What is it?"
Leave it up to Sora to make him feel cheesy. "Close your eyes first."
The corner of Sora's lips quirked in a little smile, Riku couldn't help but wonder about the conclusions forming in his head. He didn't ask why, surprisingly, the brilliant blue of his irises disappearing behind his eyelids.
"Hold your hand out."
Sora snorted, his little smirk stretching into a full smile, making Riku's heart jump pleasantly. "Seriously?"
"Yeah, seriously." Riku watched Sora's closed eyes, imagining that if they were open, he'd be rolling them.
Shaking his head, Sora held his hand out, palm up. His eyes were still closed obediently, his face calm, smile dropping back into a smirk. He stood and waited expectantly, though maybe a little impatient as the seconds began to wear on. He fidgeted on his feet slightly, frowning as he had yet to receive anything yet. Riku really wasn't trying to torture him, honest. The whole exchange was a lot crueler on him. Indecisive, he spent the longest time just staring at him.
"What are you doing?" Sora asked finally, a laugh in his tone. This, of course, caused Riku to laugh as well, if only to quell some of the chaotic fury his stomach was unleashing on the rest of his body. Sora's eyelids twitched as if to open before squeezing tighter, his own resolve winning out. "Are you gonna give me something or not?"
"Um, yeah." Riku couldn't figure out why he was so fucking nervous all of the sudden. The first time was easier. The first time, he just blurted it out and everything was fine. It was just Sora. Best friend Sora. Lover Sora.
Temporarily emboldened by his own thoughts, Riku simply threw all caution to the wind, taking Sora's hand in his own, noticing a quick tremor pass through his body at the unforeseen contact. Sora breathed in, pursing his lips in his own anticipation. Riku wondered what was going through his head. He couldn't know what was being given to him, but he still seemed very tense, like he was expecting this. Or fearing it.
Riku banished his damning thoughts. He had come this far now, he couldn't very well lose his nerve now. Positioning the metal in his hand, Riku actually felt a small wave of relief pass sweep through his frozen chest as he finally slipped the ring on his finger. It was as if he were passing on some great burden for someone else to deal with.
Sora tensed noticeably upon the telling movement, frowning as he wiggled his fingers, feeling it with his thumb. He opened his eyes, staring directly into his palm. He then blinked, turning his hand over. His eyes flicked up, momentarily finding Riku's, then returning to his hand.
"It's a...key?" He said eventually, watching the shiny gold-plated hunk of metal dangle from his knuckles. He pulled the ring off, holding it in the air between them.
Riku smiled a little, his relief passing on rather quickly, since now he had to wait on an answer. That was even worse than giving it to him. "Yeah. You know. For you." He coughed in his hand, hoping that would make Sora stop staring at him like that.
Like he was an incredible idiot.
"You dork." Sora snorted, inspecting the key hanging off the keyring fondly. Riku bristled, scowling without much anger to give him enough conviction to be properly offended. Sora's smile disarmed him though. That, and the fact that he hadn't flat out said no yet. "This is for me?" He asked, indicating more than just the key, gesturing to the whole room around them, the apartment it was attached to.
"Yeah." Riku said finally, curling his fingers nervously. He was acknowledging it. That was a good sign. He wasn't making faces. No jokes, no angry voices. Just a smile, and a—yes? Maybe?
This was much harder than the first time.
"So," Sora played with the key in his hands, jingling it a little on its silver ring. "What does this mean, exactly?" He looked up, fisting his fingers around the metal, making it disappear in his palm. "That I have a key to your apartment."
Riku couldn't tell if he was just being coy, or if he really couldn't tell what a key was supposed to suggest. He tensed again. Sora just looked at him and he tensed up, all words and sound holding back specifically for his answer. His head felt something close to a typhoon, complete with heavy wind and freezing rain.
Sora smiled, gentler this time, his hand rubbing Riku's forearm. "Relax, already. It was a joke, okay? I know." He continued his petting, eyes lightly taking in the empty room around them, the sunlit window to the small uptown part of the city. Riku never realized how intensely he watched Sora's mouth when he talked. "It is beautiful."
"You like it?" Riku finally found his voice, clearing his throat to make it sound less timid.
"Of course." Sora said, his light tone making it easier for Riku to forget why he was so nervous in the first place. He said he liked it. That was an even better sign.
"Yeah, it's not bad, is it?" Riku managed to shake off his unease long enough to sigh in relief and survey the blank expanse of wall beside them. It wasn't bad. In fact, it was very, very good. A step in the right direction, Riku told himself.
"You wanna watch the sun set?" Riku asked abruptly. He wasn't sure where the question came from exactly. From that deep, buried place every one has where all their romantic urges come from, he supposed.
"I can't stay that long." Right. Of course not. At the very least, he seemed apologetic. "We could still mess around though. You know. If you want."
Uh, yeah. Like he really had to ask.
Sora spun the key around on his finger, retrieving a mass of metal from his pocket to join it to his keychain. While he was busy with that, Riku was furtively glancing around, seeing what he had to work with. The room was basically empty besides a few abandoned painting supplies, and it's not like he really had any objections to the floor, it's just, Sora probably wouldn't be too comfortable, and that was important.
"You just think of everything, don't you?" Sora's voice was right next to his ear, a low sound that electrified Riku's nerves into a heightened state of awareness, accompanied by a quick breath of warm. Sora leaned against his side, glancing down at the tarp Riku had found in the painting supplies, laid neatly on the floor in front of them and folded in half for extra comfort. It wasn't much, but it could work. "Very romantic."
"It is, isn't it?" Riku smoothed a curl in the corner of the tarp with his shoe, smiling at his own ingenuity.
"Yeah." Sora teased, pinching Riku's side through his shirt. "A box of wine and a couple of flashlights for candles, and we're all set."
"It's daytime, Sora." Riku pointed out needlessly, taking his hands so he couldn't pinch any more. A little gentle persuasion had their fingers linked together and Sora relaxing against his chest, head tucked nicely under his chin.
"Still."
The light whisper of breath on his collarbone was a welcome reminder, bringing Riku's attention back to the tarp and all its boundless implications.
–
The tarp turned out to be just as uncomfortable as Riku had imagined, but not so uncomfortable that he couldn't enjoy himself. Lying on his back with his legs bent, knees up and feet firmly on the floor, Riku raised his hips a little to wiggle his jeans down. Sora seemed pretty intent on getting him naked first, and, well, who was he to object?
Sora draped himself between Riku's v-ed legs, pausing his wiggling, his jeans left kind of pulled down enough to expose the whole flat of his abdomen down to the slight bumps of his pelvis bone. He pushed his hands up Riku's chest, thin fabric of t-shirt following. The air wasn't necessarily cold but the bare of skin made Riku shiver. It was the feel of Sora's eyes on his body, the level of admiration and just, plain love in his stare that sent sparks of tremors through his body.
Sora just was hovering over him, and there wasn't quite enough touch happening, at least on Riku's end. Sora's hands were open palm-flat on his chest, rubbing warm, invigorating circles along his ribs, which was good. So very good. But it felt a little one-sided. There wasn't enough reciprocation. Riku needed to do some touching here too.
Their eyes met and Sora's smile widened a fraction, sweet and reassuring. He licked his lips and placed a moist kiss in between his massaging hands, in the middle of Riku's sternum. His heart was beating strong and racing slightly. Riku wondered how Sora's felt, if he was just as caught up in the moment as he was.
A slight shift in the movement and placement of Sora's hands and Riku hissed, his eyes nearly falling closed as nails lightly grazed his raised nipples. He'd always been incredibly sensitive there, to the point of refusing even the slightest touch. Watching through the tiny window of space between his barely open eyelids, the haze in his mind slowly registered the warmth and wet mouth and tongue, closing around and carefully kneading, and just the slightest sucking pull around his left nipple. A mix of pain and pleasure of over-sensitized nerves made everything darken and sparkle behind his eyes.
God, it was torture.
The word 'stop' was poised in waiting behind his teeth, in his throat, because he couldn't hardly stand the feeling, but all he got was a horny moan and his body pulling tight like stretched rubber. His shoeless heels dug into the tarp underneath them, fingers doing the same above his head. He was only slightly aware of the weight on his legs and abdomen, Sora, tired of hovering, lowered himself down, falling into the curves of Riku's body.
Riku found that he quite liked the feeling of Sora on top of him, the sensuality of all of his warmth covering his own, the long legs on either sides of his hips. The push and pull of his rising and falling chest when he breathed. He could just look up and Sora's eyes would right there, either staring back or closed in overwhelming passion. It was sexy.
Sora pulled back a little, his face apprehensive as he looked up Riku's chest at him, his hands placed farther down on Riku's sides, thumbs rubbing into specific parts of his stomach.
"Was that...okay?"
Riku frowned, blinking. He'd never asked him that before. Sora licked his lips, the irrational part of him zeroing in on the movement and secretly wishing for similar treatment for the right.
"'Course." Riku rumbled, his voice slightly strained from holding back strings of desperate moans. Sora shook his head as if clearing his own thoughts, smiling as he lowered himself flat against Riku's body again.
"Of course." He laughed a little. Riku would've asked, but at that moment there was more wet mouth and tongue he wasn't prepared for, his muscles locking and trembling at the intense sensations. Fuck, it was torture. Sweet, sweet torture.
Grasping the air for substance, something solid, Riku's hand found Sora's back, the lowest part of spine just above his ass and held him in place. Just a little push, a little wiggle, a soft grind of his hips upward brought them together, causing Sora to gasp, his mouth breaking from his light sucking. He whined softly, shuddered for long second that sent good signs to all the right places. The look on his face was bliss.
Riku was sure that was one of his many favorites of Sora expressions—right up there with Half Awake, and Smiling.
Both jumped at the way they ground together again as Sora moved up Riku's body, his hand slipping behind Riku's head, his fingers curling at the base of his neck as he kissed him.
Sora's mouth was soft against Riku's but not so much gentle as it was demanding and hungry, the harsh press of lips was disorienting at first then it slowly bled into something curiously hot. A slight tilt to the side and their mouths fit a little closer together, the press more comfortable without the barrier of teeth in the way. Fingers tangled in his hair, warm, slick tongue lapping eagerly against his own.
Hands found their own way under Sora's shirt, feeling all that smooth skin, the small bumps of his spine. A quiet moan in the back of his throat, whether it was Sora's or his, Riku couldn't tell, enjoying the unconscious admission of pleasure either way.
Sora sat up abruptly, skillfully wriggling out of his shirt, disposing of it on the floor beside the tarp. He laid down again, kind of half across Riku, half at his side. He stretched his leg over both of Riku's, scooting close enough to position his head under Riku's chin, lightly kissing the corner of his jaw.
Riku slipped an arm around his waist, supporting him against his side, eyes rolling at the slow sucking just behind his ear, the hot exhale that ruffled his hair. The light pressure of curled fingers on the other side of his neck.
Distracted by the rough drag of teeth on his skin, Riku almost didn't notice the way Sora cringed as he stroked his bare side, just the middle of his ribs, feeling him tense, hearing a quiet hiss of pain? in his ear.
"Careful." Sora muttered, grabbing Riku's hand and repositioning it lower on his back. "It just got that one." Riku blinked, finding that there was a small orange star right where his hand had been, one that he was sure wasn't there before. Another tattoo?
Riku decided to keep his comments to himself. He couldn't even begin to understand Sora's sudden obsession with getting stabbed repeatedly with a ink pen. Watching the little star stretch and bend over Sora's ribs as he shifted more against his side. Hand wandering, fingertips sticking where sweat began to form on his skin from the heat sweeping in from the open window. Sora sucking his bottom lip, tongue and teeth joining, teasing.
Riku's jeans were already unbuttoned and pulled down slightly, his shirt pushed up and abandoned around his underarms. The hand rubbed up his thigh, on the very height of the inside of his legs, and if it was just a little higher, a little...harder, it would feel-
Mm. Yes, right there. Of course he didn't need to tell Sora that, he knew where to touch. He probably knew them without even having to think about it. Sora kneading him through his pants, Riku couldn't help but make the sounds forming somewhere deep in his throat, letting them loose with abandon.
"S-Sora..." It was a totally undignified sound to make, his voice breaking a little in the middle of his name. Riku felt Sora smile against the corner of his jaw, readjusting himself because the floor was pretty freaking uncomfortable, and he could feel it all through his shoulders and neck. His arm still on the small of Sora's back, he rubbed unconscious circles. He brought his hand up, just an inch or two, skirting the back of his pants, feeling his belt loops. A few inches more and his fingers were second knuckle deep under the waistband. Even farther and his hand was fully cupping his ass, pushing his fingers forward, pushing in between...
It had been much too long. The last time he had touched Sora all over like this, the last time he had been inside—it seemed like forever ago.
Sora made a soft noise in Riku's ear, his breath coming in shallow bursts of warm on his neck, his body quivering with pleasure. He moaned, grinding into Riku's hip, his telling arousal becoming more apparent. He just rocked that way for a few long, breathless seconds, forward into the hardness of Riku's pelvic bone, backward into his fingers. His face held an expression of pure want, eyes half-closed and locked on Riku's face, his mouth slightly open and tongue sliding over the front of his teeth.
He was gorgeous.
The angle of the sunlight lit up his hair that perfect, brilliant copper. Hips still moving eagerly, he cried out—a little hot sound of desperation, pleading. A "God, please..." and a shuddering sigh. Then a "Fuck," and he was pushing himself up, up on his hands and knees, hovering again.
Riku's hand reluctantly slipped from his pants, fingers curling. What happened? He frowned, thinking he did something wrong, missing the warmth of Sora's body covering his own, his heart beating against his own chest.
"You're not supposed to..." Sora spoke softly, eyes lowering to a point near Riku's stomach. He frowned, looking apprehensive again, fingernails digging into the tarp on either side of Riku's head.
"...What?" Riku asked finally, his mind taking a little longer to break through the haziness of his arousal-soaked brain. In his defense, it's a not easy to be very sharp when his crotch was screaming out for attention, and right now, it was getting the better of him. "What's wrong?"
"Nothing! I mean, I—it's nothing. Just a...thought." Sora reassured him, sitting back on his heels. His hands were on Riku's chest, right back where they started.
Riku winced, shifting his weight to sit up a little. Dammit, that was uncomfortable. For one, his back hurt like hell. And on top of that, his leg was falling asleep from lack of adequate blood flow, but he could endure it, if that meant more eager touching from Sora. Plus, he was painfully hard and there really wasn't much he could do, other than talk Sora through whatever was going on his head right now, and eventually get back to what they were doing. "What about?"
Sora licked his lips, eyes low and slightly hidden behind his bangs. He positioned himself on his folded legs, hands lightly moving from Riku's abdomen, following the natural slope of his body to the vee of his legs.
"I just thought. Maybe I-I could—y'know, instead." Sora rushed out, hands stroking the backs of Riku's thighs. His eyes a little too wide and shy, he pushed Riku's legs a fraction forward, toward his chest, his face hopeful that Riku would understand so he wouldn't have to explain it.
Riku blinked, taking in the way Sora had positioned the both of them; Sora kneeled over him, on top, Riku himself lying on his back, breath catching at the slight rubbing sensations as Sora brought his hips forward, giving a small, experimental thrust. If that didn't get that message across, nothing would.
"You..." Riku clenched his jaw, eyes becoming just as wide as Sora's once things started to snap into place. "You want to?" He managed, blinking more than could be considered normal. What he was suggesting was seriously unexplored territory. Not totally without its worth of considering though.
Sora shrugged. "I dunno. Maybe." He smiled, still shy. Definitely uncertain.
And that was the last they spoke of it. Sora leaned in to nuzzle his neck, draped over Riku's chest and allowing his jeans to be partially removed. He told Riku he preferred the old way for right now. It was comfortable and familiar, something they were both just getting used to again. No need to change everything right now.
Riku held hips firmly as Sora slid down, slowly, taking him one inch at a time. It was—fuck—all he could do to keep from losing his mind. So, so tight and hot and Sora arched and moaned when he was all the way in, his eyes rolling in silent ecstasy. It had been a long time for both of them apparently.
Riku offhandedly wondered if his husband did this for him. Judging by his reaction, panting as if he couldn't catch his breath, his fingers gripping into Riku's shoulders as if this had been the one thing he'd been waiting for whole life, it was quite possible that their sexual relationship was the other way around. Riku just always assumed that bottom was Sora's preference.
Sora pulled up, pushed down in slow, deliberate intense movements, eyes closed, enjoying his moment. Little words like, "Fuck, fuck, fuck" and "Yes, yes" and "God, Riku" escaping his mouth in low, hot breaths. Hands gripping, his hips moved with impressive control, considering the amount of impatience that was forming almost tangibly in between. Considering how deep and far he was pushing himself, and then a mouth on his neck, sucking, a light scrape of teeth and hands on his chest again. Rubbing in places sensitive enough to make Riku scream in the most unjustifiably way possible.
His hips snapped up on their own accord, catching Sora a little by surprise, his voice echoing an enraptured moan off the walls of the empty room. Muscles pulling tight and rhythm practically setting itself as they both gave themselves over to complete pleasure, Sora hissing behind his teeth and crumpled over forward as—God he looked incredible—as Riku could only imagine as hot spikes of heat and energy and nerves struck through his body, his back snapping and arching in way that could only mean something amazing was happening as he had to be skirting the edge of an orgasm. He just needed a little help in getting there.
Riku fisted a hand around his arousal, feeling the heavy heat twitch lightly in his fingers, just barely keeping up with his own rhythm without breaking it. If he rolled his hips up and ground forward just a little bit, he could hit it again, the spot that made Sora cry out and become so much tighter. He hit that and it was like Sora's whole body was pulling him in. Just a little...more--
Yes.
He couldn't physically feel the spot as he held Sora's hips still and nailed him upwards, but shit, he feel the reaction. Lower abdomen becoming tight and pulling in, and pleading for deeper and harder. And quick heavy whisper of, "Yes, please, Riku..." Eyes shining and body just vibrating with pleasure. And fuck, was it good.
Sora came with a bated cry of bliss, fingers curling tight in the tarp, his whole body still jerking into Riku's hand. There was a long moment where Riku just watched him, ignoring his own need long enough to just watch. Watch his brilliant eyes disappear behind his eyelids, his body still shuddering with the intensity of his orgasm, legs clamping on either side of his hips.
It was enough. It was all he needed to feel the same thing. To feel that release that made all the little stars on Sora's body pale in comparison to the ones he was seeing himself.
Kissing the tiny mass of navy stars on the side of his neck, Riku curled his arms over Sora's back, holding him there, his own breath puffing out heavily and pleasantly sated.
It was kind of perfect in a way, despite the uncomfortable flat of the hardwood floor that Riku just knew was going to make standing up complete hell. Sora briefly shifted in his arms, and he felt himself slip out, Sora making a quiet sigh and he settled back down, legs on either side of Riku's hips, head tucked just under his chin. It was perfect. Kind of.
They could've done without the sound of Sora's phone vibrating in his discarded pants though. In a perfect world, everyone would've just forgotten they existed, then they could just spend the rest of eternity laying there in each other arms. Of course, the world never quite turned out like that.
"Fuck it." Sora muttered, burying himself in Riku's chest, his body deflating bonelessly against his side.
"You gonna answer that?" Riku craned his neck slightly, watching the inside-out pocket of his jeans shiver back and forth across the floor.
"Probably should." Sora blinked, raising his head enough to at least look like he was considering getting up. Then it stopped. "Guess not." He smiled, shrugging.
Riku ran fingers through his hair, sun warm and sweat damp and copper-colored from the light shining on them from outside. There was a building right across the street from their apartment, a few stories higher than the complex.
"Shit," He squinted to see if he could make out any people in the building, maybe some standing around and gawking. "You don't think they can see us, do you?" Riku asked, gesturing toward the rather large windows with his head.
Due the obvious lack of curtains and the angle of the sun, which was shining directly on them, one could only imagine. They probably could.
Sora laughed. "Yeah. Probably." He sat up, stretching purposefully. Riku frowned, with very little effect, attempting to cover him with his hand. Sora wasn't exactly palm-sized though.
The sound of Sora's phone again interrupted the peace, once again, despite the loud festival music which could be heard very clearly from the street through the window. Sora got up this time, much to Riku's displeasure, glancing at the front of his phone before answering. His expression didn't change much, but Riku was sure he saw him tense a little. That couldn't mean anything good.
"Hey, babe." Fuck. Nope, definitely not good. "No, it was on silent." Sora lied, sitting on the edge of the tarp, stretching his naked legs out in front of him. Riku figured now was a good time as any to get up and find some way to clean up a little. The dried come on his stomach was a little gross, no matter how much he loved Sora. That, at least, had to come off. Hopefully, there'd be something in the bathroom to use.
"Picking up some things at the store." Sora told the phone seamlessly. He could lie so well, it was scary. "You need anything?" He yawned soundlessly away from the speaker, one-handedly pushing a leg through his pants. It took a second and some careful maneuvering, involving him jumping around in place to get his other leg inside. Riku would've helped, but at the moment he was busy trying to figure out how he managed to pull his shirt on backwards.
Some distracted readjusting later and Riku was presentable enough to start looking for his shoes. Sora talked to his husband somewhere in the background, making some kind of dinner plans Riku was really trying not to listen to. He tied up his hair, stringy with sweat and threw his bangs out of his face.
He helped Sora stomp into his shoes though, positioning them in front of him and standing there to provide support so he didn't fall over. Sora smiled appreciatively, still talking. Eventually he stopped talking—listening presumably. His hand found Riku's neck and they kissed briefly, Sora humming a lazy response into the phone. He pulled Riku back in, down to his level, mouth smoothly moving over his. A slow flick of tongue had Riku parting his lips, tasting the faintest remnants of grape snow cone as Sora's tongue twisted across his back teeth and the roof of his mouth, holding back a moan that was about to escape. It was a little thrilling, trying not to make any sound because the phone was right there, pressed right against Sora's face.
They parted, Sora licking his bottom lip, teasing like always. "Yeah, that sounds fine. I can cook tonight." Their lips brushed together again, and Riku found his eyes closing as Sora was kissing him, deeply, head tilting a little to the side. The angle pushed them closer, tongue again, slow shared breaths from one mouth to the other. It was a lot hotter than it should've been, like sharing some great secret that was in plain sight for everyone to see, but no one had figured it out yet.
"Love you." Sora said evenly, the phone still in his hand, eyes staring straight into Riku's. Clearly the message was meant for him. Hopefully meant for only him.
–
The spray paint was almost all gone from the display window now. It was taking a bit longer than Riku had expected to remove, but all that meant is he had more of an excuse to hang around Sora all day.
Sienna was trying to tie him into some complicated contract earlier that morning. She called a couple of times, but Riku expertly dodged her calls and hopefully he could miss her showing up at his old apartment later. He wasn't really in the mood for business right now. He'd been taught from age seventeen that contracts were nothing but pure evil in paper form and thus, justifiable enough to run from.
Apparently Rikku was sick or something, because the bubbly blond was missing from her usual spot, a different blond taking her place. It was his off-day clearly, the multiple piercings Riku suspected he had were glittering in his left ear, angel blond hair hanging more casually around his face. Obviously, Evann was filling in for the receptionist as a favor to Sora, sitting bored behind the desk, reading what resembled some kind of horror novel.
"Hey." Riku actually walked up to the desk and talked to him. Even he was surprised with himself.
"Hey, Riku." Evann's eyes flicked up after a brief second, smile following later out of habit, Riku assumed. He marked the spot in his book with his finger, leaning on the desk with his elbows. "What's up?"
"Rikku out today?" Riku stifled a yawn because it was still pretty early, eyes drifting off to the side, glancing at the gold plated name tag with the girl's name on it. Sometimes it was hard to look him too long. Riku told himself it wasn't guilt but...who knows?
"She had an appointment." Evann explained, Riku's yawn setting off some kind of chain reaction because he did the same thing. "I'm filling in."
Riku smirked a little, knowing how much he hated Sora's customers. "How's that working out for you?"
Evann laughed, though Riku noticed it was missing actual humor. "Turns out, I'm a pretty shitty receptionist." He shrugged. "As long as they don't talk to me, I'm fine."
Riku had glanced around at the waiting patrons when he came inside. The age of the typical customer was between early 20's and late 30's to 40's, which seemed a little peculiar considering the service being provided. Made him wonder if they were really there for a massage or something more Sora-oriented. It was this train of thought that brought him back to the 'love jar'.
"Where's Sora?" Riku asked, though it was probably obvious where he was. He was working, most likely.
"He's with a client." Evann said this as matter-of-fact as possible. The grumble was a little hard to miss though. He pushed his hair behind his ear and focused on his book. Something about zombies or vampires or both.
"Doesn't that annoy you?" Riku frowned at the several doors down the small hallway leading to the back. He didn't trust these people alone with Sora.
"Of course, it annoys me." Evann replied, his expression uncharacteristically sour. "It's not like I can tell him to quit his job either." He gave the plastic tub of Osment's Jumbo Cheddar Popcorn, or better known as the infamous 'love jar', a pointed look of scornful disgust. Riku could imagine him telling himself that it was better than the alternative.
Riku fingered a miniature model of a blitz ball that had a cylindrical hole cut in the bottom so as to fit snugly on the eraser end of a pencil. It was kind of cute, really. He idly thought about buying one for Tidus, as an apology present. The last time they talked wasn't on such good terms.
Blame it on naïve curiosity, but the longer he leaned against the counter, the more Riku wondered about that jar, the admirers, and their infatuation with Sora. Flicking black flecks of paint off his fingertips, Riku snatched a rogue note off the top of the small pile. Evann spared him a small glance, frowning but otherwise not saying anything.
Scratchy handwriting. Something definitely male about it. It was very detailed description of how the guy would honestly, truly love to lovingly tie Sora to his bed and affectionately make love to his face. In the most loving way possible, of course.
Evann only nodded solemnly at the sneer Riku just had to be making at the folded paper, cringing at the words, "love juice" and other creepier ways to basically say, "I'd rather be fucking you right now."
"That's not very poetic." Riku managed after a long moment of trying to hold his breakfast down. Suddenly the jar was looking more and more like a much better alternative. He couldn't imagine picking up the phone and having to hear this shit. No wonder Evann snapped at him that first time he called. "Are they all like this?"
Evann shrugged. "I don't read them."
Riku figured he should brave another one before passing judgment on them all. They couldn't all be that perverted, right? The second one he was reading actually sounded a little shy and confused. Seemed more like they were asking for advice than love. Apparently, he had gotten aroused during a massage session and was now questioning his own sexuality. It made sense, in a way.
"I doubt any of these guys could be serious competition, though. For you, I mean." Riku told him, knowingly because Sora didn't fall in love with just anyone, especially not random strangers who stalked him because he gave them a good rub-down. "You have nothing to worry about." Except for me. But he kept that part to himself.
"Thanks." Evann said finally, sounding less grateful and more like he didn't really believe it. Riku had no idea he was so insecure. Sora seemed to adore him, you know, considering.
The tattoo on his forearm was actually visible now, the rainbow colored stars and black curved letters spelling out PRIDE. It was identical to Sora's, except obviously smaller. He offhandedly wondered if he had any more. Sora was getting them all over his body, maybe it was his husband that was the influence for that. Made sense. Sora had always been very impressionable.
"How did you ask him?" Riku dropped the letters back in the bucket, fingers fiddling with the tiny blitz ball again.
"Ask..him?" Evann said slowly, blinking in mild confusion. His hair hung in his eyes, making him look a lot younger than he usually did the mornings Riku saw him off to work. He was much more pleasant like this, admittedly. Much too likable for a person Riku wanted to hate.
"You know, to marry you." Riku's voice was oddly awkward, coming out as little more than a low mumble. He hated that Evann was so much more mature than he was. If it weren't for him, Riku wouldn't have even considered marrying Sora. He'd never have the courage to ask. Not for the fear of rejection.
A short blink or two, and then Evann finally realized what he was saying, a slow smile appearing seconds later. "I just asked." He shrugged, making it all sound as easy as asking a stranger for the time.
"That's it?" Riku frowned, obviously disappointed. There had to be more to it than that, right? He had already learned from experience that Sora wasn't as easy to figure out as he looked.
"Yes." It was a quick answer. His smile was still there, although a little less patient than before. "Sora trusts me." They were small words, but Riku couldn't help but think...he wasn't using them in a very friendly way.
Evann stuck his bookmark in between the pages of his novel, lightly shutting the book and pushing it aside. His eyes less cordial and more accusatory? "Why are you here?"
Riku's eyebrows rose slowly, disappearing behind his bangs and pushing him up into a full standing position. Where the hell did that come from?
"What?"
"Why are you here. Why are you always here?" Evann repeated, his expression becoming more of a scowl. It was a strange look on him. Foreign and unfamiliar. "What do you want?"
He didn't raise his voice, really. Just made it all firm and resolute, angry but soft. Riku wondered if this was how it felt for Sora when they argued.
"I--"
"If I knew I'd have to see you this much, I would've never let him go to that opening." He continued, his stare long and unsettling. It was starting to become clear why Sora and he were fighting so often now. Evann hated that he was hanging around Sora.
"That's not really your decision." Riku retorted, stating that what Sora did was his own choice, not because someone let him. It didn't matter what Evann did anyway. Considering Riku had already been fucking Sora long before the opening.
Sora didn't trust him. Sora was just using him before, when this all started. Riku was aware of all of this, appropriately resigned to the fact that there was little he could do to change it. There was nothing Evann could tell him about Sora that he hadn't already figured out on his own, or been told by Sora himself.
"He cries your name in his sleep." Evann told him, bitterly, eyes narrowed and scornful, proving Riku wrong. That, inexplicably made Riku's heart pound in his chest, painfully. He cries? "Even now. Because he misses you or something." He shook his head, finger combing his hair with a sarcastic frown.
"Misses me?" Riku questioned quietly, unsure of what that actually meant to him. Sora did say that earlier, didn't he?
"I've been tolerating you hanging around, hoping you'd just disappear on your own," Evann continued, ignoring his quiet musings, lowering his voice because it was starting to get too loud for the small waiting room. "Truth is, I'm afraid to leave him alone with you." He admitted, playing with his wedding ring.
Riku rolled his eyes, leaning forward on the desk, noticing how he tensed up the closer he came. "What the fuck do you think I'm going to do to him?" He hissed, speaking much too low for the customers behind him to hear.
"I don't know." Evann muttered, his eyes crackling with a silent fury as he met Riku's glare. The look on his face very similar to one Riku was making. "I don't know you, Riku. Kairi swears you're a good person, but I've yet to see it. All I know is that you're angry and you're selfish, and you have a violent history with Sora. That's all I need to know."
"I'm not that person anymore." Riku declared, not entirely certain why he felt he needed to convince Sora's husband of all people that he wasn't ever going to hurt Sora again. Physically, mentally, emotionally, whatever. "I...love him."
"Doesn't matter." Evann dismissed him, twisting his ring tightly on his finger. "You're the ex-boyfriend. You're the one who's mistakes I've had to pay for and fix for the last three fucking years. I don't like you. I'll never like you." Because you broke him. He doesn't say that, but somehow Riku could still hear it, in the quiet growl of resolution in his words.
You broke him and now he'll never be the same again.
"I love him." Riku repeated, more firmly, somehow keeping his voice from wavering into a pathetic sounding whine. "I still love him. I'm not letting him go."
That seemed to set him off, what thin veil of control Evann had over himself was melting away like cheap plastic in a microwave. His gray-blue flashed angrily, fingers clenching tightly around nothing, curling his hands into fists. Chair rolling backwards as he stood.
"You just don't fucking get it." His laugh was humorless and in, like, disbelief. "You think you can just hurt him and come back into his life? People don't just get over being raped." He snarled, maybe noticing how Riku flinched at the word, voice rising steadily in volume. "What you did was inexcusable."
"Guys?" The sound of Sora's voice had never sounded quite so good as it did at that moment. He frowned at Riku first, eyes then turning on Evann with concern. "What's wrong?"
It was hard not to notice how quiet the waiting room had gotten, the only sound a toothpaste commercial playing on the television hanging from the ceiling in the far corner. The eyes of the customers seemed to fall automatically on Sora as he stood there. Two women appeared at the entrance to the back hall, other massage therapists, Riku assumed.
"Nothing, babe." Evann answered first, attempting his usual smile, only it was so warped by anger and resentment that he gave up on it, plucking a cigarette from the carton he had on the desk. "Just need some air." He muttered, lightly touching Sora's hand before moving toward the door. He paused, glaring at the few customers that just wouldn't find something else to look at. "Stop fucking staring at him!" He roared indignantly, lighting up as he stormed outside. The little bell above the door screaming shrilly as it was nearly knocked across the room.
"Shit." Riku said finally, his last words seemed to just bypass his brain and fall directly into his stomach, spinning furiously and destroying all of his soft tissue and organs and everything. Until he felt hollow. Inexcusable.
Sora turned to him next, his audience no longer watching him, instead staring at the floor with interest. "What did you do?"
"Why the fuck do you assume it was me?" Riku snapped, cursing darkly under his breath as Sora narrowed his eyes at him. He really didn't need to piss off anyone else that morning. "Sorry."
Sora nodded in acceptance, eyes flicking to the door with a concerned frown. Evann was gone, from what Riku could tell. He probably wasn't coming back anytime soon either.
Riku told him he loved Sora. He'd be surprised if he ever fucking came back.
–
Three months passed quickly, before Riku knew it, and right around Thanksgiving time, Sora's mom was asking about him.
rsrsrs
I'm trying to be real impressive here, and I'd really like to get your opinions, readers! Especially in the next couple of chapters to follow because they're going to be super-challenging to write. So if you want to review, by all means, please do. That would make me a whole spectrum amounts of happy. So here goes...
Also, one of the things I kinda find hilarious about this fic is Sora's job. It just sort of came to me, but I'm not exactly sure why. Massage therapist is a normal job, but at the same time, it really isn't. I don't know why I picked it, really. Just a random bit of weirdness. lol
Re: Also, Evann. I was trying hard to make him seem realistically frustrated but not crazy, Lifetime-channel-psycho, I'll-kill-your-children-in-their-sleep angry. Hopefully, I pulled that off well. - bouncy