DISCLAIMER: The setting and characters belong to CBS, a production company or two, and pretty much anyone who isn't me; I do this for fun and not profit and I only really own Sam, Ellie, and others not associated with the show, along with the story. Well, that and a new addiction to 'Moonlight'. ;O)

'Thoughts'

"Speech"

Summary: Sam is now in a situation where she is forced to tell both Mick and Josef her closest held secret. Will they believe her?

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COMPLICATIONS

Chapter Five - Secrets

It was with a heavy heart that Sam started recounting the events that led up to the situation she now found herself in. It was not a story she liked telling; in fact it was unusual that she had to.

Most people she met were satisfied with "my brother and sister-in-law died in a car accident"; everyone else she knew already knew the story – well, the basics anyway.

But she owed it to the two men before her to tell them the whole truth; they were her friends and she had to ensure they knew their secret was safe with her.

"Amanda, Ellie's mum, was a nurse; she'd finished a late shift and was on her way home. It was late, she'd been held up and the weather was atrocious; snowing hard and freezing. She decided to cut across the park that separated our area from the more up market part of the city and where the hospital was situated."

Sam sighed and rubbed a hand over her eyes "it was nuts. The park was fine in the day; but at night it was so dangerous, people were regularly attacked. Muggings were commonplace; and you couldn't always guarantee they wouldn't kill you anyway, even if you gave them what they wanted. But she wanted to get home quickly, so she decided to chance it."

Sam's gaze took on a far away look "it's so surprising how one little decision can affect the lives of so many people." Shaking her head she continued "she was attacked – during the assault the man bit her."

Josef and Mick both looked startled; Sam nodded "ah I see you're already joining the dots. Good, it saves time – she begged for her life, said she had a little girl. She was dying she told us afterwards, she could feel it, but he stopped what he was doing and began to apologize. He said he'd help her……..that's when he turned her."

"What?! Why?!" Josef was horrified "didn't he know the damage she could do?"

"Oh yeah, but I'll get to that – he felt sorry for her; figured it was the lesser of two evils. She was too far gone to just leave alone; but his conscience wouldn't let him leave her to die, and a child motherless – so he turned her" Sam shrugged "He had good intentions."

"Yes and we know what the road to hell is paved with, don't we?" Josef growled.

Sam nodded "if I'd known……I might've dealt with her" she shook her head "but vampires? It's not like it's your first guess when a family member starts acting weird. "Oh it's alright, great aunt Maud's been turned into a vampire; don't worry, just don't cut yourself shaving!"

Mick stifled the smirk; he felt it wouldn't be appropriate, but she had such a sharp wit. "Didn't her sire help her?"

"Yes" Sam nodded "Frederick turned up the next day; we were worried sick about Manda. The hospital had insisted she was fine, but we could see she was anything but. Then the following evening this distinguished looking man arrived and said he had information about Amanda's attacker."

Sam's mind could picture that evening as if it'd only happened yesterday "it was a surreal evening; that afternoon all our lives irrevocably changed forever. We'd fought her off as she tried to bite us, tried to stop her going out; she kept being sick and then saying she was so hungry but she didn't know for what. By the end of the night though, we believed Frederick – how could we not? He took Amanda away for a few days and when she returned she seemed calmer, more controlled."

"Sires have to teach those they turn how to control their urges to feed and where to get blood; otherwise they can go rogue and that is not a good thing." Mick murmured.

"I know, Frederick told us. I have to say that Manda was never really right again. She'd always been highly strung, given to mood swings; but after she was turned she went a little……..weird."

Sam gave a shudder "when they came over here, sometimes she'd just appear behind me in the kitchen" she gestured behind her to her little kitchenette "as if she was trying to frighten me, you know. It worked, but I never let her see she scared me; something told me that would be bad. Like showing a hostile dog you're scared; if you do, it bites."

Mick nodded "bright move. Sometimes being turned can mess with someone's head; makes them unpredictable, dangerous."

"Now we come to my brother." She heaved a deep breath before continuing; this was the tough part. She'd adored Jamie, and talking about the events up to his death always hurt "he adored Amanda with a love that's rare. I don't say that for melodrama, it's true; if ever soul mates exist, she was his.

So when it was clear that Frederick was not some mad man and that his wife really was one of the 'undead', he couldn't imagine his life not running with hers. Her life would go on for generations after he died, after even Ellie died. He didn't want her to be alone like that; he didn't think she'd cope.

He told her to turn him and she did; Frederick and I were horrified. He seemed happy enough with his decision, but Fred wasn't. Although he hadn't turned him, he took Jamie under his tutelage too as he said Amanda didn't have enough experience to help him.

Of course now that Jamie was turned, Amanda started making noises about turning Ellie; wanting them to be the "same happy little family for eternity". At this Frederick put his foot down and so did Jamie.

My brother pointed out that being turned had been his own decision; but that Ellie was only three. To turn a child that young, who couldn't make her own mind up on something so…." She hesitated for a moment "bizarre, was grossly unfair.

Fred went once step further; he pointed out that vampires never age. The age they are when they're turned is the age they stay forever – to turn a child as small as Ellie was monstrous.

He said that she would develop enough as her mind aged to grasp that she was an adult trapped in a child's body, but that to a certain extent she would also be mentally handicapped as her brain would not grow, so any development would be limited."

She stared at the table for a moment "he painted a very dark picture of what her life would like; and worse it would remain that way for eternity. Finally Amanda agreed; but then a decision had to be made what to do with Ellie."

"What do you mean? Didn't you trust your sister-in-law with her daughter?" Josef asked with a frown.

"Not really, no; but that aside, it was a big thing that had taken place; Jamie was a paramedic, that was how he met Amanda in the first place, and as I said she was a nurse.

It wouldn't be hard for them to get onto permanent night shifts; but what to do about Ellie. She couldn't be left at home alone, but neither could I go over there every night to babysit."

She smiled briefly as she remember their indecision until the vampire sire had sorted it out "it was Fred who took charge; he said that Ellie should stay with me at night while her parents worked, and stay with them when they were at home."

"You went along with that?" Josef couldn't believe how accommodating she was being.

"Absolutely – remember I didn't really trust Manda anymore; I wasn't even sure about leaving Ellie there when they weren't at work, but at least I knew Jamie wouldn't let Manda hurt their daughter."

"What about this Frederick?" Mick was curious.

"He became a close family friend; especially for me. I could run to him when it all got a bit too insane; which it frequently did."

She saw the look they were giving her "we had mutual friends you see; they couldn't understand the change in circumstances….." she smiled briefly "I remember saying they were saving up for a really good holiday and the night shifts paid more."

"Quick thinking" Mick grinned.

"Ah well, Jamie always said I could think on my feet." She looked at them "you know there are hunters right?" Both men nodded "I didn't know you see."

"Why should that matter?" Josef had a horrible feeling he knew what she was going to say.

"Fred thinks it was hunters that got Maddie and Jamie; he said their deaths were all a little too convenient." She heaved a deep sigh "I don't know; I never felt watched – I have a sixth sense for stuff like that too. Fred always says I'd have made a way better vamp than my little brother" she smiled indulgently "says I got the chutzpah to go the long road."

Mick gave her a look "go the long road?"

"Yeah; see my brother was a watcher; I'm a doer. I fight my own battles and protect my own corner, my own family. Jamie was too soft; he never saw the bad in anyone."

"Especially his own wife" Josef said the thought out loud, but Sam nodded.

"Yeah, especially Manda. She was his sun and moon together; his day rose and set with her; it bugged Fred and it bugged me."

"Would you have finished her?" Mick was curious.

"You know Fred asked me that same question one day; she'd started the same game with Ellie that she did with me. Creeping up on her and going all facey on her."

"Facey?" Josef frowned.

"Yeah, like they say on 'Buffy' she got her 'game face' on; all pale skin, white eyes and fangs" Sam waved her hands around indicating the changes "it used to scare the life out of Ellie; I used to say it was a mask but I think she still wondered. When I would tackle Manda about it she'd laugh and say she was "only playing"."

"You didn't believe her?" Mick could see she didn't by the look on her face.

"No and neither did Fred; so one day he asked me if I had the "guts to end it?" she shrugged "I said if it meant saving Ellie, or some other innocent, of course I did."

"You think she would've harmed a human?" Josef's frown had turned into a scowl.

"I think she'd have harmed anyone one of us mortals." Sam nodded "she often used to say humanity was little more than cattle to her now."

"What?!!" both men spoke together; horrified.

Sam sighed "you don't understand; Manda was a Goth of the way outside the norm type – she bought into the whole vampire lifestyle. Oh not the everyday reality" she shook her head "that was boring; no, the mythical vampire was her role model. She thought she was so much better than the rest of us mere mortals now. I could see her point to a degree actually….."

"That's ridiculous!" Josef's frown deepened; Mick nodded in agreement with his friend, his face solemn.

"Well, look at it from your perspective – you can move faster than us, hear way better than us, see better than us. You can smell better and sense pretty much everything better than we do.

How do we mortals compete? We don't; and therein lay her point. If we were so inferior and she needed blood to live, mainly human blood – where did that leave us? She said we were to her as cattle were to us." Sam shrugged once again "she did have a case really."

"No – she didn't!" Josef leapt to his feet so quickly his chair hit the opposite wall.

Sam didn't even flinch "I rest my case – I could never do that; well not without picking it up and throwing it first. I…."

"What happened – are you still arguing?" Ellie appeared at her bedroom door.

Josef took in her pale face "she alright?"

Sam nodded "so Mick says – winter cold; but she's asthmatic so I have to watch her."

Josef rolled his eyes "oh and of course Mick would know - him being a doctor and all."

"Don't talk about me like I'm invisible!" Ellie was outraged; drawing herself up to her full 4' 7" and adopting her best ten year old 'do not mess with me' face, she marched over to Josef "you leave her alone – you drive her crazy, you know that?

Mick is lovely…." she bestowed an adoring look at Mick who just grinned back; before giving an innocent shrug to Josef, as the other vampire shot him a daggers look "Mick cares about her; you justbully her. Well, I don't like bullies!"

Sam shot in front of her niece "it's fine, it's fine Ellie; don't sweat it." the child was wheezing "I can look after myself alright."

"I know, I know – but I hear you muttering to yourself about him" Ellie pointed an accusing finger at Josef "and it makes me mad!"

To make her point Ellie strode over and kicked Josef in the shin with all the strength she could muster; he stared in disbelief more out of shock than pain.

He didn't see Mick appear beside the little girl; sweeping her into his arms he grinned at her "let's get you back to bed short stuff, before that cold gets worse and you miss even more school."

Ellie's face lit up "really, do you think I could be off all week? Only we've got dodgeball on Wednesday; the ball's okay but the dodging, not so much..." Their voices disappeared into her room where Mick could be heard asking where the cough mixture was.

Sam turned to Josef who was now rubbing the offending limb "she has a bit of a temper" she shrugged.

He smirked and shook his head "bit like her aunt then; but I meant what I said" he picked up the chair, placing it back near the table before he sat down again "you and a cow are not the same."

Sam couldn't help the smile "gee thanks; good to know. I am not like a cow. Though you may be right – I don't think cows can type" she waved her hands around a little "it's the hooves, they'd mash up the keys."

Josef ran a hand through his hair in mute frustration at the way she could tie him knots, just as Mick appeared "she needs more cough mixture – I'm going down to the drugstore at the end of this block." he eyed them warily "Can I trust you two not to kill each other before I get back?"

"Yes sir, I will await your return." Sam nodded solemnly "mind you once you come back, all bets are off."

"Likewise" Josef muttered, waving his friend away; Mick left rolling his eyes and shaking his head.

"Do you have a lot of vampire friends?" Josef decided to try and make conversation.

"Meh, not so many" Sam shrugged "but a few I suppose. Fred's one obviously" she smiled fondly "he's lovely."

"Oh yeah, I can see where an old vampire turning your sister in law into a female Dracula is a wonderful attribute."

Sam frowned "don't be sarky Josef. He said he was sorry."

Josef rolled his eyes "ah well, apologies make all the difference; I'll have to remember that in future. I can turn or kill as the mood takes me, instead of eating bagged blood or taking a little from willing donors, just so long as I say sorry afterwards."

Sam stood up and marched to the kitchenette "you really are the most infuriating man I've ever met."

"Just man or man/vampire?" he followed her.

"Both."

Josef grinned "cool!"

Sam all but growled, but let it go; he was totally impossible and she just had to accept it...before she killed him. Josef remembered their promise to Mick, and decided to change the subject before there was bloodshed "I notice you never call yourself human; you say mortals." He looked intently at her "why is that?"

She turned to face him "if I say we're human, then that would make your kind inhuman – you're not; there's good and bad amongst your kind, just as there are amongst mine. So, I say mortals and immortals instead."

He watched at her for a moment an unfathomable look on his face "I can't read you at all."

She grinned and arched an eyebrow as she sidestepped him; returning to the table "and that's what drives you mad the most." It was a statement; he could also sense the immense satisfaction within her.

"You think?" he closed his eyes for a moment, remembering that Mick wouldn't be pleased if he bit her...even a little bit. Turning, he followed her. Every instinct was telling him to run; but he ignored them. Why should he run; what the hell was going to happen after all?

She might be hard to read, he might think she drove him crazy; but at four hundred and twenty eight years old Josef knew that he could cover all the bases. There was nothing going to happen to him…...nothing at all.