Full Summary: In the uncertain world of adults, Sora and Riku attempt to patch together their shaky relationship after almost 5 years apart. It's about love and hate and lost trust, set in a world where the magic has run dry and the boys see each for who they really are. The tension doesn't last for long, however, as both men fall into a routine that they both know very well. Along the way, they become reacquainted with the old qualities that brought them together, while familiarizing themselves with the individuals that each person has become.
Warnings: Language, Sexual Situations of the Conjugal Kind, i.e. Sora/Evann, Thanksgiving with the Island Kids, Meet Sora's Mom
Disclaimer: None of the characters within this fanfic belong to me. If it did, this would be a full length movie with all smexy-slashy-yaoiness I could legally fit onto a single DVD. Kingdom Hearts is a lovely invention of Square Enix.
Hypervigilance
Chapter 12: Remorse
-
Sora arched his back, raising his hips in just the right way that would give the optimal amount of leverage to make pleased whimpers release from his own mouth. The breathy moan he exhaled into the air above him was indulgent and almost exaggerated. As was the roll of his eyes that he wondered if he was really feeling or not. Even with the slick movement of tongue and mouth and delicious heat that anybody could replicate, really, Sora just felt a little bit fake pretending that it was as good as it used to be.
Despite all the shuddering pleasure coursing through his lower abdomen, during something he actually did enjoy, with the one person he was supposed to love over all others, Sora couldn't help but think something was wrong. He looked down and threaded through his fingers was hair too short, much too close to the color of sunshine than the shimmering moonlight Sora had always adored about Riku.
The bed shifted between Sora's legs, the warmth and angle changing just slightly, a harder sucking pull that made him outwardly groan and grip the sheets in his fist. It was good, really, especially with the newly added fingers playing a little lower than the mouth, but Sora wondered if it could be even better with the name Riku attached to the man giving him such incredible pleasure in a way that spoke of experience Sora would probably never know about.
It wasn't impossible to be in love with two people at the same time, it was just really, really difficult.
Lamenting his own thoughts, Sora gave a brief whine, raising his hips again, the faint vestiges of his approaching orgasm distracting him just enough that he wasn't too saddened by the fact that he was moving on, and this relationship would have to end soon. He felt the breeze of an amused chuckle brush softly over his anticipation-tight abdomen, nearly crying out at the sudden loss of the velvety warm sensation of tongue.
The saliva drying was an awkwardly cold and lonely feeling, but Evann's affectionate eyes watching him left Sora even more empty, in a way that was so sudden it was alarming and unsettling. It made Sora wonder if it was really possible to fall out of love with someone that quickly.
"You okay?" Evann asked, his sunshine blond hair falling in front of and around his eyes. He swept it back with one hand, absently licking his lips. Lips that had just been sucking him off two seconds ago. Lips that kissed him at least once a day for three years and even before that. Lips that told Sora 'I love you' first, and then 'I love you, too' almost every time after.
Feeling a pain in more than just his forgotten arousal, Sora fought back the stinging electricity of remorse behind his eyes, clenching his hands in the sheets still. He nodded, hoping Evann wouldn't notice how wet his eyes probably looked.
A smile and a light tilt of his head and then Sora couldn't help but quietly gasp out, "Fuck!" as Evann took him back in his mouth without warning, chuckling again because he probably thought it was cute.
Roughly twelve hours from now they were to board a plane and visit Evann's parents for an early Thanksgiving dinner, since they would be spending the actual Thanksgiving day at Sora's mom's house. It was a three-year tradition now, and Sora could already feel the pain of anxiety creeping into his chest at the thought. Rock and Marylynne were nice enough, they seemed to like Sora, they obviously adored their son, but Sora just really wasn't looking forward to it.
He missed his own mother, the way she could effortlessly soothe everyone and their hectic lives, allowing themselves to just relax and enjoy spending the day together. He hadn't known of anyone who could willingly and happily provide a home for three other rambunctious teenage boys and still be relatively sane. After all the shit Sora and his friends put her through as kids, especially Riku and him together, it wasn't that surprising that she could take anything thrown at her with her own motherly grace.
Sora figured if he was ever going to tell her about his waning fidelity for his marriage, this weekend would be a good time to do it. Once the festivities of the holidays died down, he could confide in her about Riku and the rekindled and somewhat newfound love they were sharing, hoping to seek matriarchal advice rather than the more deserving disapproval that he was expecting.
He really hated the word divorce. It just sounded much too final.
Sora's legs tensed, looped over his husband's shoulders and shaking just slightly as he being brought very, very close. One finger inside him becomes two, touching, pushing, rubbing. Sora never once thought Evann wasn't good in bed. Riku was good too, but that didn't mean he would ever dare to compare them. It didn't seem fair, considering the fact that they had two very different styles, each learned through two separate collections of sexual experiences. It wouldn't be fair to say one was better.
Sunshine blond hair slipped through his fingers like water as he came, his orgasm fading away much too quickly. It's a weightless, careless feeling that abruptly leaves him feeling very heavy and empty when it's gone. Sora panted softly, staring at the high ceiling of their bedroom. The picture of himself that Riku painted stared down at the both of them.
He couldn't help but be worried about the approaching holiday they were to spend at his old home. It would be the first one in a long time with Riku present, hopefully. And the last time they had interacted, Evann hadn't been in a very good mood, and he took it out on Riku. Sora really didn't want to go if that meant the two of them would fighting the whole time.
"You're not going to fight with Riku again, are you?" Sora asked the ceiling, remembering how Evann stormed out of the clinic that day, leaving him with no receptionist and not returning until later that evening with a kiss and a quiet apology for making a scene in front of his customers. Sora really didn't want a repeat of that, especially not in front of his mom.
Evann scowled slightly at Riku's name, quickly amending his expression when Sora frowned at him. "I wouldn't do that." He swept his hair back with one hand again, crawling up the bed to lay on his stomach at Sora's side. "I think I can control myself for two days."
"Promise?"
Evann smiled lightly, resting his chin on his crossed arms. "'Course."
"Good." Sora declared, stretching a little. He wondered what it was about being with someone for a long period of time that made you so comfortable that even being exposed and vulnerable like he was didn't make him self-conscious at all. "You scared me last time."
Briefly brushing back his bangs, Evann sighed, rubbing his shoulder against Sora's. "Sorry. I didn't mean to scare you."
"He's my friend, you know." Sora spared him a long stare, only to be met with a less than serious smile that he wasn't looking for.
"Yeah, I know. I don't get why, but I know." Evann smoothed his hair back out of his eyes, his smile suddenly turning more cynical.
"Evann--" Sora began to protest.
"How can you just forgive him?"
Sora's teeth clicked together with a snap as he closed his mouth abruptly, glaring at the ceiling. They weren't having this conversation right now, not if Sora had anything to say about it.
"He hurt you." Evann continued without prompt, receiving little more response than a short snort of indignation.
"That was a long time ago." Sora defended firmly, despite the actual strength his argument lacked compared to Evann's practiced reasoning. They'd had this talk before. Evann and his fucking support group talk. Those things were supposed to be all about forgiveness and having the motivation to move on with your own life. Seemed kind of ironic that he wouldn't let this go, when Sora could. "I trust Riku, okay? He's been my friend forever. I'm not gonna just..." He trailed off, shrugging. "I'm not going to abandon him now that he's done so much to change. At least he's trying."
"But what he did—it still makes a difference. I know because you didn't used to be like this."
"Like what?" Sora hissed, his hands growing tight as he sat up. "Stop talking about me like I'm fucking damaged or something!"
"That's not I meant, Sora." Evann sighed, sounding more than a little tired. Neither of them liked fighting with each other, of course, but sometimes...fuck, he could be so goddamn difficult.
"Say what you mean, then."
"You're distant." Evann shot back, pushing himself up on his elbows. Eyes narrowed and less cordial than they could be. "Ever since he came back, you've been distant and distracted. You're never at work." He turned his scowl on Sora, words bitingly venomous. "Just where the hell are you going during the day anyway?"
Sora's eyes widened, his breath coming short. Evann was already putting everything together, a collage of DOOM forming in hazy snippets in the air between them, almost tangible as it snowballed with every word he spoke. A little further prodding would bring him to the question, "Are you sleeping with him?" But he never went that far. Maybe he already knew, and was just denying it, or maybe Evann just generally wanted to drop the subject because it was stressful and accusatory and hurtful.
The scowl fell uneasily from his expression, leaving him looking more fatigued than before. "...Sorry." He sighed again, the covers catching as he slid from the bed, searching for and finding his pants that were discarded on the floor earlier. "I'm just...frustrated."
"It's okay." Sora muttered weakly, his heart calming its frantic, panicked beating with only minor relief. Their arguments about Riku had never come that close to revealing the truth before. Somehow, Sora lost control of the conversion, leaving it to steer itself in any direction it pleased, which wasn't good.
"I have to finish packing." Evann told him over his shoulder, though that excuse didn't explain his need to grab his cigarettes and leave the room.
Sora sighed heavily, figuring he should probably take a shower, at least. This really wasn't how he wanted this week to go. Not at all.
–
Sora's childhood home was on the far eastern side of town, near the beach, set up in a small, quaint neighborhood where he used to live as well. His mother's house was a couple streets over but, of course it wasn't hers anymore, and someone else had moved in since Riku abandoned it.
Riku tried not to think about that too much, reminding himself that that was the past. And the past was better left unearthed in most cases. Instead, he focused on the two-story on the corner. It was painted white now. He could've swore that it was yellow, but then again, it had been almost six years since he had last been here, back before Sora hated him and then loved him again. Back before when he could remember the name of Wakka's favorite blitz ball team, and Selphie's jump rope record, and Tidus was a friend and not a one-night stand, and Kairi was just dreaming of opening a jewelry store, rather than being a stay-at-home mom with two kids.
Six years was a really long time. And despite the invitation, Riku couldn't help but feel like he didn't belong here. Because he had missed a major part of everyone's lives, the transferral into adulthood. It was nerve-wracking just unloading his bags from his trunk, even worse walking up the sidewalk to the more frequently used side entrance to the house, taking deep breaths the whole way.
Riku rung the battered doorbell that had looked that way for as long as he could remember, probably from young teenagers and their heavy hands punching it all the time. He waited, glancing back at his car parked on the street just a brisk walk away and forced himself to calm down. He would need to be calm to survive this weekend.
–
"Riku!" The melodic voice joyfully cut through the noisy warmth of the house that might as well been his own home from his childhood, the amount of time he had spent there and the many nights he had slept over as a kid practically made it the home he was brought up in. Tamara's voice carried over the sound of the news playing from the television in the den, over the sound of Charlot's girlish giggling as her father chased her toward the back of the house, Kairi half-heartedly scolding the both of them. He just had to smile. Sora's mom was his own mom basically. And Tidus' and Wakka's and Kairi's, and Selphie's too.
Tamara, or better known as Tammy, was a young looking woman for her age. Her hair a lighter brown than Sora's, but just as thick and with a wild nature that seemed to be hereditary. She was shorter than Riku remembered, only coming up to about the middle of his chest. He wondered if Sora was even taller than her now.
"Riku," She said again, sounding more appropriately affectionate, her slender hands reaching forward. Riku awkwardly shrugged off his bags where he stood, stepping the couple of feet in her direction. She smelled like exotic herbs and the more notable ginger that she often used in her recipes as she curled her arms around Riku's shoulders in greeting. He knew from experience that she was making sauces to refrigerate until tomorrow to save time.
"Look at you." She said, beaming in her usual way that made Riku smile nostalgically. She held him back looking him up and down, her eyes narrowed but not critical. She then made a noise, almost like a sad little tut, pouting girlishly. "You grew up on me."
Riku chuckled, not really sure what he was supposed to say about that. He couldn't very well apologize for aging. Despite himself, he did anyway. "Sorry."
Smiling, she pulled him back down for another round of hugging. Tighter this time, more familiar. Riku had no idea she missed him so much. Her hair tickled his nose, tiny hoop earrings glittered in his peripheral vision. He steeled his nerves, reminded of the night his mother was admitted into the hospital. Riku was seventeen at the time and though he told himself he was too old for hugs, she held him for hours without asking. And when she had to leave to take Kairi and Selphie home, Sora took her place, lacking his mother's elegance, but still very much appreciated.
"I have all my boys back now." She declared, tilting her head to the side with another dazzling smile, one that Riku was sure Sora had picked up from her at some point during infancy. "How was the trip?" She detached herself from him, moving back to her stove to delicately stir a very red red sauce, bringing up smells of peppers and garlic and savory tomatoes.
"Fine." Riku leaned against the counter beside her, his palm brushing a tin of crushed red pepper. A quick survey of the room found it empty, Kairi disappeared at some point, most likely to control the noisy commotion that was erupting earlier. He could vaguely hear the girl still giggling in the back. It was better that it was just the two of them.
Tammy looked up at the sudden sound of rain pounding against the window, pulling back the little half-curtains over the sink to glance outside. "Definitely November." She muttered lightly, her eyes finding Riku's briefly. "You've been busy, huh? I saw an article on you in one of those magazines. What was it called—Now?"
Riku made a face. "You read those?"
She laughed, light and charming. "Only when Sora gives them to me. He's more interested in gay culture than I thought." She added, shrugging. Riku was sure that was a by-product of being married to Evann, but he kept that to himself. "I think he really missed you."
"Really?" Riku shifted, curling his fingers around the edge of the counter.
"I couldn't believe it when he started talking about you again. It was like, his whole demeanor changed. He's so much happier now." She offered, stirring her sauce.
Riku nodded and chewed the inside of his lip. He really didn't need another reminder that he made Sora so unhappy in their time apart. He had enough things to feel guilty about.
As if sensing his sudden downtrodden mood, Sora's mom changed the subject, turning off the stove with a deft click. "It's good to have you back though, Riku."
"Yeah," He intoned, staring at the linoleum floor with more interest than it called for.
"Wanna try?" Tammy rummaged through the top drawer beside the stove, finding a large spoon and beginning to ladle the thick red sauce into a plastic bowl for storing. She offered him a smaller spoon with which to sample the delightful smelling sauce, and Riku did so, with an appropriate amount of excitement, considering she was currently labeled the best cook ever since Riku was ten years old. And for good reason.
"Wow."
"Six hours. Is that not the best red sauce I've ever made?" She bragged, waving her spoon a little with a smile. It wasn't clear whether that goofiness was hereditary or just something she picked up off her own son, either way, it only prompted Riku to join in, waving his own spoon after shamelessly licking it clean.
"Wouldn't expect anything less. Best in the world, Tam."
She gave him a little modest look, knowing he was exaggerating, but taking the compliment anyway. "Is that god-awful woman still your manager?"
Riku raised his eyebrows, laying his spoon in the sink. "Sienna?"
"Ugh, Rikki." She mocked, scraping the last of the sauce into the bowl. "You know, women her age need to exercise more decorum. The way she talked to you was hardly appropriate."
"Ah, she still does." Riku shrugged, figuring there was really nothing he could do about her anyway, so he never bothered to confront her. And the fact that, innuendo aside, she reminded him a lot of his mom. That was probably why he put up with her. "She's calmed down since then."
"And when she wasn't shoving her boobs in your face, she was saying something nasty. You know, I could've knocked her. Talking to my baby like that."
Riku snorted. "Your baby?"
"Of course. You are all my babies." She said this with a flourish of her large spoon, rinsing it off in the sink. "Some more better behaved than others."
Riku cringed, thinking she was going to drag up old memories of Riku's more rebellious years of thirteen to fifteen. He wouldn't say he was bad at the age, but—damn, he was bad. And more often than not, Sora got dragged into less than favorable situations because of him. He had always meant to apologize for that. Actually, there were a lot of things he had meant to apologize for, but the time in his personal exile left him without a way to speak in person.
He could still remember the morning he discovered Sora was gone and he called Kairi and she wouldn't talk to him. And Sora's mom...she sounded so angry. Even that time he had nearly gotten arrested for fighting with Sora in a public place, she wasn't anywhere near as pissed off as she was that morning on the phone.
It was the reason Riku decided that the best thing to do was to simply disappear from their lives.
"You know, you don't have to sit in here and listen to me babble. Tidus and Wakka are in the den." She chuckled to herself, a slow smile crossing her lips that could only mean she totally understood the flaky nature of boys and knew that mothers could only hold their attention for so long. "I'm sure you'd much rather be talking to...them." Tammy blinked after looking up, her smile fading quickly from her face at the pained expression Riku wasn't entirely aware that he was making.
Feeling a hot bead of wet roll uncontrolled down his cheek, Riku cursed quietly under his breath, turning his head away, but it was too late. She didn't even have to be a mother to catch that. Riku scrambled to pull himself together before she became too concerned because, fuck, the last thing he wanted was to cry in front of Sora's mom.
"Riku," Hands were pulling him down again, pulling him forward, into another embrace. "What...?" He shuddered in her arms, damn it, he wasn't going to do this. He refused to cry. Hell, he didn't even cry when his mom died. But this—this was going to break him down?
Something in the back of his head reminded him that he had betrayed her trust. It reminded him of the promise he had made to her the day Sora moved out of her house and into that godforsaken apartment they were renting on the west side of town. He told her he would protect Sora no matter what. Instead, he did just the fucking opposite.
"I'm, fuck--" Riku swallowed, his breath catching. The way she was holding wasn't helping either. The familiar smell of ginger and cloves, and the kitchen he used to explore as a toddler. It wasn't fair. "...I'm sorry."
"What are you getting so upset about?" Tammy asked into his shoulder, her voice full of pained concern, rocking them in a little sway back and forth.
"I didn't mean to—I just. I-I'm so sorry." Riku shivered, his arms hanging like threads in the space between them. "I hurt him." He managed to hiss out, half fear and half self-loathing.
"Oh, baby. If he's forgiven you, I forgive you." She rubbed his hair, which helped, the consistency of the rocking more soothing. "You don't have to apologize to me."
"...Sorry." He muttered again, despite her words. Eyes closed tight against her shoulder.
"You made a mistake." She declared, rubbing his back now, as much as she could anyway because of their difference in height. "Everyone makes mistakes. Better to make them early on than now, right?"
"You were so mad though." Riku pointed out quietly. He felt vulnerable, ripped open and exposed. The tears had dried up now, leaving cold tracks on his face that stung with indignation.
"I wouldn't hold that against you, Riku." Tammy confided quietly, sounding a little hurt that Riku would think she would actually hate him. She pulled him back a couple inches, smiling gently. "How would that even sound, me hating you?"
Riku shrugged noncommittally as he was accustomed to, falling a step back to lean against the counter again. He didn't feel so much humiliated as he did tired and sick of his own emotions. Sick of the past, sick of mistakes. Sick of disappointing people.
"Take a minute. Pull yourself together." Tammy rubbed his arm, turning back to her bowl of carefully simmered sauce, popping the lid on the container before storing it in the refrigerator. "You can take your bags downstairs, that's where the boys are sleeping."
Riku nodded, rubbing his face with his hands. He still had Sora. That's all that mattered. Sora, his career, and for right now, the closest thing he would have to a family. He gathered up his stuff from where he left it in the doorway, tugging open the basement door, briefly wondering when Sora was going to show up and hoping for his own sake that it was sometime soon.
–
"Whoa—look at this man! Riku," The sudden brotherly hug was unexpected, arms stronger than he had felt in a while crushed him from all sides, threatening to press him flat. Riku could barely hear Tidus snickering over the imagined sound of his own bones breaking.
"Eh, try not to kill him Wakka. He just got here." Tidus called from his seat on the couch, idly flipping channels on the television. That didn't keep the smirk from his face though.
"You back home, huh? Took you long enough." Wakka admonished, clapping Riku's shoulder as he tried to cough air back into his lungs. Riku glanced at him, trying to figure out when someone started to catch up to him in height, noticing that he didn't have to look down to find his eyes.
"You got...big." Riku divulged with an amount of alarm that made Wakka chuckle, his voice a deeper sound than Riku remembered. Nobody could just stay the same, could they?
"Yeah, he's a fucking beast." Tidus declared with a smile both knowing and affectionate. "You should see him weight train. He can pick me up!"
"That's not much of feat, Ti." Wakka added, his arm on Riku's shoulder still, which prompted a wary glance at his muscular forearm. From past experience, having Wakka's arm anywhere near your neck was never a good thing. Tidus shrugged, resigning himself to watching the news. "Six years is a long time, ya?"
"Yeah." Riku shifted on his feet, the weight of his arm throwing his balance off. "Everyone's different now." He murmured, tensing under the slight movement to the right of his head, reminded of the hand-slap games they used to play as kids, the giddy anticipation of trying to pull your hands out of the way in time.
Wakka's laugh vibrated through his side, his arm tightening into a headlock that Riku expertly ducked out of only because he saw it coming. "Couldn't expect us all to stay the same for long."
"Guess not." Riku shoved him lightly, flattening his hair with both hands.
Wakka only stumbled forward a step, dropping on the arm of the couch. "You didn't have to disappear, you know. We still like ya."
"Thanks."
"Tidus, especially." He smirked, ignoring the hiss and the attempted kick to the shin from the blond seated at his side. "Y'know when when we were younger, he used to--"
"Shut up, he already knows." Tidus growled, successfully kicking him this time. Wakka pretended not to notice.
"You made up with Sora then." He said finally, because it was literally the only reason Riku would ever come back. Riku nodded demurely, eyes flicking briefly to the television as a distraction. It wouldn't so bad if everyone didn't know about that, that fact that Sora broke up with him. At least they didn't know the reason. Riku was pretty sure if they did, neither of them would still like him.
As if sensing that the mood was taking a nosedive, Tidus glanced at Riku for a long second before harshly prodding Wakka in between his shoulder blades.
"Eh--!"
"You're blocking the TV, man." He explained, jerking his head toward the other side of the couch as a signal for him to take a seat over there. Riku followed his inclination as well, sinking into the deep cushions in between them.
Tidus found an old blitz ball game on the sports channel, and Riku spent the next half hour listening to excitable commentary from the sport's two biggest fanatics. Which was surprisingly fun, considering that Riku only had the haziest understandings of the game rules. And of course, Tidus just had to show him one of his special moves, the Sublimely Magnificent Something Or Other Mark III. A move that he declared, "Looks so much cooler underwater."
Needless to say, he nearly broke a lamp and Tammy yelled at him from the kitchen.
Because despite how much time had passed, some things just didn't change.
–
After the traditional pre-Thanksgiving dinner of delivered pizza because, really, who wanted to cook before Thanksgiving, Riku found himself back in the den, drifting precariously in between consciousness and sleep. It wasn't until his head actually hit Tidus' shoulder for the fifth time that he finally gathered enough sense to head downstairs to sleep on his hard, underused bed reserved for him the basement. Sora still hadn't shown up yet and it was almost 9 'o clock. A peaceful darkness was settled around the neighborhood, the streetlights were on.
"Sorry." Riku muttered through a yawn, stretching his arms out in front of him. Tidus smiled softly but didn't say anything. The room was relatively dark because no one had thought to turn a lamp on, the only light the flickering gray-blue from the television. Glancing around, Riku briefly wondered when Wakka left the room because he wasn't beside him any more. Then he heard his voice from the kitchen, laughing quietly. His and two other voices. Sounded like Kairi. And Selphie. She must've just gotten there.
"You can sleep on me, I don't mind." Tidus murmured, tucking his hand under his chin as he turned back to the television. Watching Chocobo racing now. Riku figured there must be nothing on.
Riku chuckled then groaned as his back cracked, sinking bonelessly back into the couch. "Probably shouldn't." A small raise of his shoulders told Riku that he shrugged, perhaps because he didn't care, perhaps in defeat. "Hey. Are we okay?"
Tidus blinked. He shrugged again before turning away. "Sure."
"Really? Don't just say it to make me shut up." Riku narrowed his eyes, trying to read his expression, but it was a little hard in the dark.
"Yeah, really. We're fine." That was hard to believe. Tidus kept his eyes trained forward for a long minute, then suddenly, as if the thought just suddenly hit him, "Are you still fucking Sora?"
Riku sputtered, somehow coughing through his nose at the volume at which he was speaking. Damn it, if Sora's mom heard that, Riku didn't think he could keep himself from punching him in the face. "I'm not fucking him." He hissed, keeping his voice low as a precaution.
Tidus rolled his eyes. "Sleeping with him, whatever."
"Well, not real—kind of." Riku settled on the vaguest explanation he could think of, sinking down in the couch. Tidus snorted, making him scowl.
"And he hasn't left his husband yet?"
Riku's scowl only deepened. "What's your point?"
"Think he's ever going to?"
A hint of doubt must've crossed his face, because Tidus frowned, almost apologetically. "That's none of your business." Riku declared, attempting to salvage his dignity. It had been almost six months though. Since he and Sora first hooked up.
"I just don't think it seems very fair to you." Tidus pointed out. The television only lit up half of his face, the other half dark and hidden. There was clip replying on the screen over and over, trying to decipher the close end results of the last race.
An abrupt laugh from the kitchen interrupted their conversation however, Kairi's gasping giggle making Riku forget that he was upset. For a second anyway.
"He told me it would be soon." Riku confided, glancing up through his eyelashes at Tidus' face which had become no easier to read than before. His expression seemed pitying though, like he was sorry that Riku was so trapped that he couldn't leave now even if he wanted. He'd put in too much commitment and too much time, and his heart was so thoroughly saturated with love for Sora, that he didn't think he would say otherwise even if someone held a gun to his head.
"Okay." Tidus replied, quietly. Because there really wasn't much else he could say. "Guess it wouldn't matter much if I said that I'm...obsessed with you."
Riku blinked. "Obsessed?" He repeated incredulously.
"Maybe that's not the right word." Tidus intoned, shaking his head. "I just hate that I like you so much. You clearly don't deserve it. You're a bastard."
"Wha...?"
"You're a bastard." He repeated. "And you and Sora are both selfish as hell so I guess you're kind of perfect for each other." The blond rubbed his face and laughed despite himself. "I hate you. I hate both of you." He lowered his hand from his face, looking at the TV again, without really watching it. His eyes suspiciously wet looking.
"Tidus..."
He couldn't really have meant that. Riku thought back to the first night they were together, the way Tidus kept looking at him like he was in pain. He never got the chance to ask what was wrong.
"What's wrong?"
"I'm-I'm good enough, dammit!" He hissed, taking Riku off-guard. His voice was low, low enough that the others in the kitchen couldn't hear. His hand tensed into a fist but he didn't hit anything. Riku knew he was just frustrated, about the current conversation, or something else, he really couldn't tell, but he held his tongue until the moment passed. Tidus shuddered with anger a few seconds longer before relaxing slightly, his jaw still tight.
"For who? Me?" Riku shook his head, suddenly craving cigarette smoke. Just another way he was addicted to Sora. "You're a much better person than I am, Tidus." Riku said finally, careful not to touch his shoulder as he draped his arms over the back of the couch.
Tidus snorted derisively. "Well shit, I know that." He glared forward into the ethereal blue light of the television, lightly gritting his teeth. He was like that for almost a whole commercial, he then smirked as the screen changed for another commercial, his anger ebbing considerably. "You fucking suck."
It was such an absurd thing to say that Riku couldn't help but smile a little, laying his head back on his raised shoulders. "I really do. I fucking suck." He laughed, crinkling his eyes at the dark ceiling. "Hard."
"At least you do it well." Tidus added, laughing with him.
"Yeah...right."
"It's just—" Tidus began again, his hands resting on the ball of his knees. "When you're with him, it feels good, right?" He asked, digging his elbow into the back of the couch as he repositioned himself. "I just thought, like, if I were with you then it would feel good for me, too."
Riku blinked, mouth forming a frown along with words. "That's not really how it works, Tidus. You usually have to like somebody first."
"I do like you, dumbass." Tidus rolled his eyes. "Well, anyway. It was just a stupid thought." He sunk even farther into the couch until his knees nearly touched the coffee table. Riku watched him, tonguing the roof of his mouth thoughtfully.
"Not really." Riku shrugged when Tidus raised an eyebrow. "I mean, it makes sense. Almost."
"Of course that just means I'm fucked up, right?" He managed a smile, stretching his legs out in front of him to appear casual, but it came off as kind of a dejected resignation.
"No more than the rest of us."
A laugh. "Awesome."
–
It was a little past eleven when Sora and Evann got the house, the sudden commotion from the kitchen waking Riku with a startled snort, apparently waking Tidus in the process because he was staring around blearily, his hair tousled and wild looking. He somehow found enough vanity to take the time to fix it before getting to his feet. Riku fell forward slightly without the support of the shoulder he was sleeping on.
"Sora!" His mother's voice was pretty distinguishable, even in his sleep-hazed state. She crossed in front of the door quickly, presumably running to hug the life out of him. Riku forced himself to stand up, leaning tiredly in the doorway of the kitchen.
"Ooh, you're wet." Tammy pointed out, loosening the hug a fraction, stepping back.
Sora chuckled, shaking out his damp hair with his fingers. "It's raining." He smiled, looking just about as exhausted as everyone else, if not more.
"No kidding." Selphie giggled from the direction of the table, her own hair still damp, curling even more than usual.
"How was the flight?" Kairi chimed, remaining in her seat, her hands curled around her mug of what Riku assumed to be raspberry tea. She was at the beginning of her third trimester and it showed.
"Long." Evann said with a bit of a laugh and a sigh, receiving his own hug from Tamara. Riku fought the urge to sneer, leaning heavily against the doorway as Tammy redirected him to Sora's old bedroom, telling him that's where they'd be sleeping tonight.
He hadn't forgotten the conversation they had in the clinic, and Riku was more than ready if he wanted to finish the shit he started three months ago. And he damn well wasn't going to take being chastised again. Fuck secret affairs. If Evann wanted to fight, he was gonna get a fucking fight, even if it meant revealing the truth about him and Sora and the last six months.
Sora shrugged out of his jacket as Evann took the bags upstairs, handing it off to his mother as she offered to hang it up. Riku felt himself smile without being totally aware of it, hands longing of their own accord to wipe his wet hair out of his face and take him in his arms and kiss him deeply in welcome. He shivered, looking very sexy in that soaked-to-the-bone kind of way.
"Hey, Riku." Sora greeted from across the room, drawing all attention unceremoniously to him and his stupid love-sick grin.
"H-hey." Riku coughed out, failing miserably at nonchalance. He didn't like everyone looking at him, all at once. Tidus rolled his eyes, kicking him subtly in the ankle.
"Idiot."
"You must be exhausted." Tammy fussed, and thankfully distracting everyone long enough for Riku to kick Tidus back in retaliation, ignoring his glare afterwards.
A few short moments of conversation and a pointed yawn later had everyone slowly tapering off to their respective sleeping places. Riku said goodnight to Tammy as she went upstairs, still leaning on the doorway, waiting until she was out of sight. Sora was just right there. All he had to do was quickly cross the kitchen, crush him to his body and kiss him until he couldn't see straight.
That was before Riku remembered that Sora had a husband, a husband that now coming back downstairs. Quelling Riku's efforts to get in some quick make-out time to last him through the night stuck in the basement with Tidus and Wakka.
"Coming to bed, babe?" Evann rounded the island to the other side where Sora was still standing by the door. Riku couldn't help but notice that he was just ignored.
"Yeah." Sora smiled, looking slightly disappointed. At least that was what Riku hoped he was seeing. Then he wasn't the only one thinking about some very much needed alone time. Get rid of him, Sora. Riku hissed in his head, feeling a brief glance in his direction. "Gimme one minute?" He said, holding up one finger for emphasis.
Evann blinked, and for a second, Riku was almost sure he was actually going to say no, as if he really could. "Sure." He smiled instead, as he usually did, casting a curt look at Riku standing in the doorway to the den. "Hello, Riku."
"Hey." Riku managed not to glare or show any kind of hostility, which was hard, but he didn't pretend to be happy to see him either. "Good night."
"Mm," Evann hummed noncommittally, not breaking his smile for a second as he passed him and climbed the stairs. Shit, this was shaping up to be a fun weekend. And it was only Wednesday.
"Riku," Sora called, standing at the other side of the room like the prize behind door number one. Riku grinned, crossing the kitchen in three giant steps, his hands held out to touch him. Sora laughed as he looped an arm around his waist, pulling him forward, another arm around his back.
"Sora." He whispered like some beautiful secret they were sharing, holding him to his chest. He saw him just four days ago, but it seemed like they had spent an eternity apart. Four days without a single kiss or touch or even hearing his voice. It might as well have been an eternity. "I missed you."
Sora laughed again, quieter this time, more private. He rested his forehead against Riku's collarbone, his hands brought up and palms flat in between them. "I missed you more."
"Impossible." Riku declared, speaking into his hair that tickled his nose and still smelled familiar despite how wet it was. Sora cuddled against him, for warmth or comfort, or both, and Riku decided unanimously that Sora was going to be his forever. He leaned back a little, much to Sora's dismay as he let out a quiet whine, tilted his head back just slightly.
Slow, but forward, was a good way to describe this kiss. Their lips touched only briefly, warm, soft, then his mouth fell open and Sora's tongue slid in, moving against his like velvet, his fingers curling in the front of Riku's shirt. He pulled back, biting at Riku's lips, pulling him down again, more tongue and soft breathy words of pleading.
Riku's hand held the back of his neck, palm skirting over the navy stars, thumb lightly stroking the corner of his jaw as he reacquainted himself with Sora's body. His warmth, his taste, the small sensitive places on his hips that made him jump and his breath catch silently, eyes fluttering open.
Sora wasn't so much nervous as he was jittery, giggling into his mouth as Riku slid the tips of his fingers under the edges of his shirt, feeling pale smooth skin, bumped and taut from the cold and wet. He shivered and shied away from Riku's hand as he teased the flesh around his navel with his nails, then his full palm which led to a quiet and very unmanly yelp.
"Shh..." Riku laughed, keeping his hands to himself, though it was hard to resist making him scream again. It was almost worth the risk of being caught.
"...Love...you." Sora muttered with a smile, his fingers moving up and through Riku's hair and holding him still to press their foreheads together, reasonably breathless and tired and ecstatic at the little reunion.
"Love you more."
"...Impossible." Sora breathed, eyes closed, lips ghosting forward again. Riku fought the desire to push him against the counter and just take him right there, rationality stopping him rather than a sense of propriety for the sanctity of Tammy's kitchen. "I gotta go." He murmured with as much urgency as he could manage, though failing to actually detach his hands from Riku's body.
"No," Riku protested quietly. "Don't say that."
"I have to. He's waiting." Sora argued weakly, stealing another kiss just because.
Fuck him, Riku wanted to say, but reluctantly he let him go, his fingers curling into his palms at the sudden loss of warm, wet, shivering Sora.
Sora took a large step backward, away from temptation, laughing as he tried to catch his breath. Riku hadn't felt that large a rush of emotion and want and need in such a long time. Not since they were teenagers. It was a kind of weightless, dreamy feeling, albeit not as quite as strong as it could be with the heavy reality that Sora would be going upstairs and Riku, down, in two separate directions.
Clearing his throat and looking just a little bit dizzy, Sora paused to straighten his shirt, his lips were slightly red from kissing, his hair, at least, had been a mess the whole time.
"Good night." He whispered, as if they hadn't already made enough noise, and made his way to the stairs, glancing back for just a second before jogging all the way up.
Riku watched him go with a smile, waiting until he heard his old bedroom door close before resigning himself to the basement and his cold, lonely bed. The weekend was already looking up.
And it was only Wednesday.
–
Sorry for the slight delay. I'm having an on-again, off-again love affair with Final Fantasy X. First, Seymour owned my ass, poached it, and served it back to me to breakfast, (Don't ask how. It was a painfully simple fight. *ashamed*) and then some big winged, wormy-looking fucker called Evrae screwed me over shortly after that. I swear, I'd hate turn based RPGs if I didn't love them so much.
And yes I did play FFX for this particular chapter and future chapters containing Tidus and Wakka just because I had no idea how they acted as adults. And it's a damn good game too... Rikku was pretty easy to figure how to write, and Selphie, well, like most female characters acts pretty much how you'd expect. No big mystery there. Hope I did good though. This was a big challenge for me, but I'm happy with the way it turned out.
Wow, this is the shortest chapter I've had in a while. No matter, there's gonna be a lot to cover in the next chapter. So it's probably gonna be longer than this one. - bouncy